The Path to
by RT4ever
Summary: Imagine if you will a long white hallway. On one side utter peace. On the other side everything you've left behind. A never ending hallway that all pass through. Jason Quartermaine has trapped himself in such a place. Unable to turn away from the life that had once been his. Final part up.
1. Chapter Summaries and Love Madly

**The Path to…** is a series of short stories. Some of which get to move on to a full length story, Discovering Who You Become and Slippery Slope both started out here. Others get a few chapters here. Most are a series of one shots, just a quick scene that I'd like to see. Most are Brazen, but there is some AJ, Sonny and Robin in here as well. So below is a chapter list for the stories and one of the few super short ficlets because otherwise this would be an Author's Note (aka FFN no no :-P). I put complete if I'm pretty sure nothing else based that chapter will be posted.

**The Path to… Chapter List**

_Chapter Two: _

Reanimation: Brenda's not the only one making a reappearance. Brazen. (Complete)

-x-x-x-

_Chapter Three:_

Return: Shortly after Emily's death, Sam is at the cemetery when she sees AJ crumpled over Emily's grave. (Complete)

-x-x-x-

_Chapter Four: _

Revelations: Brenda returns after Emily's death and her first stop is to tell off Sonny. (Brazen. If you like it, it's continued on as **Slippery Slope**).

-x-x-x- **  
**

_Chapter Five:_

Making Amends: His mother justly blamed him for Emily and he had to try to give her back her family. Jason with a little Robin. (Complete)

-x-x-x-

_Chapter Six:_

Recovery: After Georgie's death Jason goes to check up on Robin. (Complete)

-x-x-x-

_Chapter Seven:_

An Unbelievable Life: Short Brazen scene that reintroduces Brenda back into the storyline. (Complete)

-x-x-x-

_Chapter Eight:_

Discovering Who You Become: He wake up in a hospital room with another brunette by his side and finds out how quickly and drastically life can change. Brazen. Continued with the same title as a full story.

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Nine:_

Salvation: Logan Hayes is dead and Jason is of course the prime suspect. Brazen.

_-x-x-x-_

_Chapters Ten and Eleven:_

The End: It all ended the exact same way it began, in a bed looking into the eyes of an angel. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Twelve:_

The Brazen Shuffle: Songfic challenge. A paragraph worth of their stories. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Thirteen:_

Laying Blame: Brazen arrive at the hospital because they couldn't just have a quiet weekend away, could they? (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Fourteen: _

Redemption: Helena looks upon her creation with pride, Paulo, he was confident, charming and successful, the Quartermaines overlooked the gem they had in AJ, she made no such mistake. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapters Fifteen and Sixteen:_

Moments in Life: Brenda returns and life carries on, until circumstances change and Brazen are forced to say what they've always avoided. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapters Seventeen, Eighteen and Nineteen: _

In the Blink of the Eye: In the seven seconds the car skidded, AJ could see it all, he could see a life without Jason. He had no life without Jason. There was no choice to be made. Brazen.

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Twenty: _

Domestic Bliss: She walks out wearing his shirt and carrying a glass of a much needed alcoholic Brenda. Brazen, post Spinelli and Maxie's non-wedding. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapters Twenty One and Two_

Too Late: She's in his arms, sitting in a jungle waiting to die. Brazen (21). Sonny (22). (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Twenty Three:_

Discovery Outtake: Two scenes that don't fit into the style of DQYB, but people wanted anyway. Brenda and Jason trying to be friends after sleeping together and Carly telling Sonny that Brenda was moving in with Jason and Sonny realizing his Brenda was now Jason's. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Twenty Four:_

Vignettes: More VMG returns. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Twenty Five:_

A Picture's Worth: Based on the start of Brenda's return. In still photographs Spinelli could see all they denied. Brazen.

_Chapter Twenty Six (can be paired with 25 or read alone):_

Drama Queen: Jason was behaving like an ass, so Brenda decided to do exactly what he always told her to do: she was quiet, didn't get in his way and wore clothing. It was driving him mad.

_Chapter Twenty-Seven, Eight, Nine (goes with 25&26):_

Actions Speak Louder than Words: People were always around to notice that how they behaved didn't match how they spoke of/to each other.

The End in the Beginning: Whether the ends caused the beginning or if their beginning caused the ends. The journey has begun.

Surprises: A wedding results in surprises for everyone.

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Thirty:_

Who Cares: Based on the song, "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. Brazen because honestly Brazen need a happy, carefree moment with a little Carly and Jax trying to bring them down. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapter Thirty-One:_

Two Sides of the Same Coin: Jason Quartermaine couldn't leave, he wasn't actually dead, just not fully attached. As Jason Morgan's life hangs in the balance he meets the person he had once been. (Complete)

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapters Thirty-Two and Three:_

Family Man: Eventually there won't be a tomorrow, so ask yourself if it's your last day, how do you want to spend it?

_-x-x-x- _

_Chapters Thirty-Four, Five and Six:_

Hindsight: "I wasn't much before Sonny. But if I hadn't met him, if he hadn't flashed those stupid dimples…I could have figured out how to be happy Jason." When she woke up and saw him, she knew it instantly, the guy that was always there for better or worse was the true love she longed for.

* * *

_Based on VMG's quote of "Jason annoys her in a way that someone you love madly annoys you….She adores Jason."_

* * *

**Love Madly**

Life is a series of regrets.

Coulda, woulda, shouldas.

Some people take the safe paths, some people take giant risky leaps.

She always thought she had been the girl who leapt.

Is it a leap though when you know how it's going to end? Going after the bad boy…You know the outcome of that 99% of the time.

No matter how much it hurts, you aren't really that surprised when it ends.

The boy that's good. The boy that's safe. The boy she could pin all of your hopes and dreams on…

He's the risk.

He's the one that would leave her shattered, especially if she shattered him.

She ignores safe because safe is scary. She ignores how happy she is sitting next to him. She ignores how he would do anything for her. How he forgives her time and time again. How he tries to convince her to forgive herself.

She ignores safe and the risk passes, he finds someone worthy, someone better and she can feel good about herself for letting that happen. She's happy to see them, she's happy to see him happy.

She's safe if he's with another, he won't leave her, she can't destroy what she has.

Then he leaves, he's lost to her, but torments her by still existing. HE left her after everything she did to stay safe, and then he won't let her heal in peace. His presence is an open wound and she hates him for leaving her and reminding her of it constantly.

She hates him and then she leaves him. He floats into her mind with every high school and college boy she sees, their laughter, easy manner, their seriousness when studying a piece of art. He continues to torment her with the memories of what could have been. He torments her with memories of who he had been.

The regrets happen. She begins to wonder the what ifs. She sees the ways she could have saved him. She sees him clearly for the first time. She recognizes that feeling, but he is gone and she realizes she hates him for it.

She actively hates him for not being HIM when she returns. She wants to and sometimes does pound her fists into his chest in unbridled anger and despair. How could HE leave?

She hates him, she keep telling herself that. She ignores the rest. The anger is anger. She hates him because he isn't HIM. She hates him for existing while HE is gone.

She can love the one most like him, he is nowhere near as good, but she won't make that mistake again.

She tries to burn him out of her mind. She tries to find the feelings she once had elsewhere.

Then the panic sets in over leaving him. The realization that those feelings had been more that what ifs, they had been love.

Underneath it all and ignored had been love.

The realization makes her want to vomit.

The realization gets stuck in her head and it replays over and over. She's determined to burn it out of her mind.

Then one day, she realizes he's still him. Everything he was, everything he could be, everything he deserved. He is him.

She tells herself that's a lie, that he is gone, but it's too late. She loves him madly with the same desperation that had been hiding underneath a decade prior.

She leaves him with someone good. She stays away. She ignores that love as she ignores him. He is gone, she tells herself. He is a memory.

She is safe.

Then one day she is in his arms again. She wrenches herself free as soon as she can. He thinks he's protecting her, he doesn't realize she needs protection from him.

She hates him for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she loves him.


	2. Reanimation

**AN: **So I have a few one shot deals running through my head, I believe I once mentioned the AJ and Brenda fic (it would be kind of 'To Come Back,' but with Alan still alive)? 

And I figured that I may as well keep them together if I do post them. :-P They'll all have different characters, I'd warn you in the summary, which characters they are since umm yea you guys proved you don't like Robin after my last chapter of 'To Come Back.' :-(

Now onto the story…

* * *

**The Path to…**

**(Reanimation)**

He had a vague memory of what happened and a very real throbbing of his entire body, especially his head.

It had been a rough week aside from his aching body, granted he'd been acquitted of murder, but his one time loving and supportive fiancé had set up an 'attack' on Elizabeth and their son to get back into his good graces and at the same time get them out of his life.

He hadn't been able to kick her out though, to cut her out of his life because he remembered…He remembered how happy they had been, had almost been, so many times. Remembered he had been the one who had started them down this painful course they had taken. She had been the one shot and he had been the one to throw her away and that had been what had started this path their relationship had taken. He was finally starting to learn, he was trying to learn, how to forgive, how to move past or at least he was trying to try.

Robin, Carly, Elizabeth, Courtney…Problems that other people worked out, he hadn't. Brenda had once told him he deserved to be happy and maybe he was finally realizing it wasn't that easy, he had to work at it, he had to be willing to be unhappy, to be hurt…

Sam was pushing it however.

Brenda…Brenda. She had been as unexpected as the acquittal, as unexpected as Sam scheming to keep Elizabeth and Jake out of his life.

-x-x-X-x-x

_He'd caught his foot on one of her many bags as he walked in the door, she'd looked up with innocent eyes from his couch as she had her laptop on her lap, but made no move to her things. 'Hey Jase,' had been her casual remark. _

_He'd stared with dumbfounded eyes. _

_'Okay I couldn't find any-' Sam said walking in from the kitchen with a bag of chips and a box of crackers, 'Oh hey Jason,' she smiled as she noticed him, 'I didn't expect you back so soon.' _

_'Why are you here?' he bluntly asked, ignoring Sam's greeting, focusing back on Brenda. _

_'AJ, true asshole,' Brenda casually nodded, 'we're still married.' _

-x-x-X-x-x-

He definitely hadn't been expecting that one, but at least she hadn't been planning on staying with him and Sam, despite Sam's best efforts to entice her to, which he was assuming another attempt at getting back in his good graces. No, Brenda had just wanted to talk to him first before going to the Quartermaine's knowing that if she walked in there it would be hours before she would be able to leave and as she'd not so politely put it, 'No way in fucking hell am I staying at Jax and Carly's hotel,' which seemed to have endeared her to Sam.

Less than two days later they'd been leaving the courthouse, after going themselves to make sure the papers got filed this time around… He remembered the bullets, remembering going to block Brenda, then there had been a flash of pain in his arm and he was going down, after that there was just black.

"Jason?" Robin's voice, youthful and sweet, when he didn't think about it so much, when he didn't think about the life she had cost him. "Come on Jason open your eyes again."

_He had opened his eyes? _

"Yea come on Jase, flash those baby blues," Brenda's teasing voice, tinged with worry.

"Jason, I fully understand why you're feigning sleep," Carly's sarcastic tone.

"Jason please wake up," Sam's husky beg as he felt a slight pressure on his foot from being clutched.

"Maybe you guys should go down to the-" Elizabeth's suggestion died off quickly, he could imagine them all shooting her dirty looks, it made him smirk despite himself.

"Ha, I told you, he's faking," he heard Carly's voice come closer.

A quick tap to his shoulder had his eyes open quickly as the pain radiated out and a fast, "Brenda!" shot out of Robin's mouth as she realized her best friend had just hit her patient in his wounded arm.

"You wanted his eyes open," she innocently drawled.

"Oh thank god Jason," he saw blonde shoot into his line of sight knocking out a dark haired brunette, that he assumed was Robin, but their features blurry. He looked around; the image at the end of the bed, just as the image next to the opposite side of the bed both looked identical to the one Carly had knocked out of his view. He knew which arm hurt though, so he knew for sure which one Brenda was.

"Everything's blurry," his hoarse voice creaked out.

"There was some swelling-" his doctor began.

"Do you/I'll get you/You need some" all lapped on top of each other and he saw three images dart in one direction.

He heard Robin chuckle and was sure at least Carly and Sam were glaring, he wasn't sure about Elizabeth.

"Let's hand the water to his wife, before you all drown him in your attempts to get to him first," Brenda ordered.

"I'm his-" he heard Carly begin.

"Guys," he once more hoarsely ordered.

"Give it to me, I'm the doctor and the neutral party," Robin reacted in resignation, obviously weary of whatever fighting had been going on while he was unconscious.

"Slow, short sips," she instructed as she put the straw between his lips. "That's enough for now," she declared before he was ready to give up the soothing liquid, "you can have more in a few minutes."

"My sight?" he questioned to the still blurry figure.

"You slammed your head into the granite stairs," Brenda explained.

"Are you okay?" he questioned.

"Aside from your blood ruining a brand new outfit?" he saw the figure's head bob. "I'm good and still your wife, which means I can rack up a few nice bills before you get out of the hospital."

He chuckled slightly before grimacing at the movement.

"There was some intracranial swelling, which we tried to relieve with an experimental drug, but when it got worse we had to do it the old fashioned way."

"So my sight?"

"Hopefully it should return in a few hours, your CAT scan looked promising."

He groaned.

"So you remember what happened," Robin concluded, "I'm assuming that means you remember your name?"

"Jason Morgan."

"The date?"

"Tuesday, August 28th 2007."

"Actually it's the twenty-ninth now. But that's very good. Do you know who's in the room with you?"

"You," he answered.

"Who am I?"

"Robin."

"Very good. Who else?"

He looked at the blurry visions, remembering their voices, "Carly, Sam, Elizabeth and Brenda," he went to nod his head at her, the only one on his bad side, but once more flinched.

"Very-"

"I figured I should," a new voice suddenly came into the mix and Jason's head quickly turned straight towards it.

"I should have figured his hard head would be fine," the old man gruffly responded to the blue eyes now looking dead ahead that had been closed for nearly thirty one hours.

"And who's that?" Robin's light-hearted voice asked.

"Gran-" he paused suddenly and his face fell into a fast frown.

"Jason?" All women quickly leapt to ask.

His head shook slightly. _No that wasn't right. _

"Just how hard did you hit your head that you're calling Edward, Grandfather?" He listened to Brenda teasingly ask.

His eyes closed and suddenly he saw blue and red, an anchor, a boat…

"Jason," Robin's voice asked, tinged with worry.

"Something's not right," was all he could say. _So very not right. _

"I need you to tell me something more than that Jason, does something hurt?"

He shook his head. "No, I…"

"What's wrong with him?" Edward quickly asked walking further into the room.

"I don't know," Robin tried to stay in control, "Jason tell me what you're feeling."

"I-" his head shook and he ignored the ache.

"Tell me whatever it is," Robin ordered.

He searched his mind for it,_ the blue and red, no blue, red and white, anchor, wheel, boat, a boy…_ "It's blue with red and white, there are anchors, wheels, boats."

"What? Robin, you swore to us that drug would-" the fury in Edward's voice suddenly emerged.

_'I've got the top bunk.' _

"I've got the top bunk," he repeated.

"Oh dear lord," Edward proclaimed with fear, as if having a mobster for a grandson weren't bad enough, a child-like grandson for the rest of his life…

"Long Island," Tracy's raspy voice suddenly interjected into the room, Jason hadn't even noticed her trailing behind Edward.

"What?" Edward asked with a shake of his head.

"The boys' rooms in Long Island. They had a nautical theme. Blue walls with a white border with-"

"Jason's never been to-" Edward's voice quickly died off and his glare towards his daughter, which had him wondering if they had gotten her out of the hospital too soon, quickly dissipated and he turned back in shock to his grandson.

"Jason?" he felt Brenda's hand slide into his own.

_'No no Jase, I don't want to go into the water. I just spent an hour blow-drying my hair.' There was a pool before him; he was heading towards it, legs and a shapely jean clad butt, resting on his shoulder. _

_'An hour well, I mean that does change things doesn't it Jase?' a familiar voice added. _

_He spun and saw AJ standing there in a pair of long swim trunks having recently been in the water, 'We should put her down,' he heard his own voice. _

_'Guys seriously, I'm not kidding. I just spent two hours getting ready to meet Sonny.' _

_'Sonny?' he saw AJ's eyes widen as he repeated the word. _

_'Crap,' Brenda muttered against him. _

_'The wet look's much hotter, don't you agree Jason?' _

_'Knowing Sonny, he'd probably prefer the underage look,' his own voice again. _

_'Probably should wash off all that makeup then,' AJ nodded. _

_'Jason,' he heard ordered as he spun on one foot and teeth sunk into his back just as his feet reached the edge and started to lift… _

"Brenda," his hand tightly clasped hers, as his eyes squeezed shut tightly trying to block it out.

"It's okay Jase," she promised as she leaned in close before looking up to desperately search Robin's face, praying to god she wasn't lying.

There were murmurs and chaos around him, repeated calls of his name as it continued to wash over him in spurts and Brenda whispering his name into his ear as she continued to clutch at his hand, willing him through it.

"What's going on in here?" he heard Epiphany's voice louder than everyone else's.

"We're going to need to sedate him," he heard Robin begin, but then lost her voice as his own mind grew too loud.

"It's going to be okay Jason," he heard whispered into his ear.

He clutched at her tighter; he could still hear them, Carly, Sam, Elizabeth, Gran…_Noo… _

"Bren," he desperately begged in a moment of true anguish.

Her hand came alongside his cheek and her face pressed nearly into his, "It's okay, it's okay," she was promising until it all mercifully went black again.

-x-x-X-x-x-

He slept through the pow-wow that occurred outside of his room shortly after as Monica, Tracy, Carly and Edward shot questions off at Robin and Patrick as Liz, Sam and Emily were resigned to stay off to the side in shock, with Brenda still clutching his now relaxed hand inside the room, refusing to leave him.

"Don't you dare tell me he didn't remember, he was describing our house and those rooms were redecorated well before his accident."

"No, you want to believe he was describing his old room, we don't know what he was describing," she corrected him.

"He called her, Bren," Edward attacked back with.

"He's scared, he may not have even-"

"Grandfather?" Tracy retorted with.

"His mind is aware of Edward being his grandfather, just because he doesn't call him that on a regular-"

"What the hell does this mean?" Carly suddenly asked.

"I have no idea," Robin truthfully admitted.

"Some-" Carly began.

Patrick cut her off, "We aren't going to have any idea what's going on until Jason's awake again and we can ask him some questions."

"Is it possible?" Monica softly questioned.

"I don't know," Robin truthfully answered with a heavy heart.

"The drugs, the injuries, the surgeries," Emily shook her head, "we're lucky his head isn't a scrambled egg."

"I don't know…that boy's judgment at times," Edward shook his head.

"We're going to have to be patient; I suggest everyone go home, get some rest and Jason should sleep through till morning."

Fury erupted again over the mere mentioning of leaving their beloved Jason.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Robin," Edward found her almost an hour later in a nearby hallway, checking on another patient.

She looked up with a wary smile.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier," he said in a low voice full of contrition.

"It's okay Edward, you were emotional; we don't know what's going on with Jason..."

"The hack and the two bit quack comments were entirely uncalled for. Alan was so proud of you," his head nodded slowly, "I know you're an excellent doctor and you've always cared about Jason, despite what my grandson may have done to you."

"I de-"

He cut her off, "No," he shook his head, "you are a fine upstanding girl." He smiled, "I'm sorry woman and I just wanted you to know that if you've done this," he nodded again with apprehension. "If you've brought my grandson back to me, Alan's boy," tears started to glisten in his eyes.

Her mouth parted slightly in sympathy and she went to lay a hand on his arm.

He clutched it, but shook his head. "If you've brought him back to me, I promise you, your research will never lack for funding."

"We don't know anything yet Edward," she reminded.

"But we can pray," he nodded, "for the first time in a long time we have hope." His head shook, "Oh god do you hear me," he smiled at her, "promise you won't-"

She cut him off with a smile, "Your secret's safe with me."

-x-x-X-x-x-

He opened his eyes slowly, he had been awake for a few minutes, but hadn't been brave enough to make that move and he was still hoping against hope that he was dreaming.

The room slowly came into focus and he found it was thankfully empty aside from him and Brenda. She was leaning against the window. Her hair in a low knot, not looking at all like Brenda hair, more like a haphazard wash and then forgotten. _"Aside from your blood ruining a brand new outfit?" _

The outfit was new as well, possibly Robin's, she had been wearing a skirt that last time he had seen her.

"How's the view?" he softly asked, realizing he'd prefer her company than his own thoughts and knowing she'd probably need his reassurance that he was fine.

She turned back and gave him a gentle smile, "Dominique's tree."

"Is that good or bad?" he questioned.

She shrugged, "I don't know." She just looked at him for a moment, "How are you feeling?"

"Numb," he answered.

"Physically or emotionally?" she checked.

He moved his hand for her and gave her a smirk, "That answer your question."

She smirked, "You can still be numb and move things."

He chuckled.

"So is numb a good thing or a bad thing?" She questioned and walked a few steps closer.

"I don't know," he repeated her answer. "Where is everyone?"

She shrugged and gave another smirk, "Being your wife has some perks, I can kick people out as I please."

He lifted an eyebrow.

She gave a sheepish look, "It's at least a really nice dream," she defended and then smiled, "Robin and Patrick are asleep in the on-call room. Elizabeth kept checking in, until she was off duty. Carly hadn't seen Michael and Morgan in over a day. Sonny came by for awhile," she nodded, "that was really uncomfortable," then shook her head. "Alexis used Kristina to bribe Sam into going home with her. Edward isn't as young as he likes to believe, Tracy took him home hours ago. Emily just got your Mom to leave maybe 45 minutes ago."

"Why are you still here?"

She shook her head and started to walk sideways instead of towards him. She stopped and began to speak, not being able to look at him, "I need to apologize to you." She turned to him and he lifted his brow in question. "I'm sorry," she nodded.

"Br-"

She lifted her hand to stop him, "I was a bitch. I was moody and angry and…" Her head shook. "You were suddenly a stranger that didn't like me and it hurt and I hated you." Her head shook, "Because you didn't love me anymore, you didn't even like me."

"It's-"

Her head shook again, "I used you and…" She focused on him, "When you were lying there Jase…"

"Brenda," he compassionately offered seeing her anguish.

"I didn't even," she shook her head. "Even after the plane crash…I was still angry at you," her voice lifted, "I didn't want to be, I didn't mean to be," her head shook.

"It's okay," he promised.

"When you were lying there…" her head shook. "I didn't know if you knew."

"I do," he nodded.

"It hurt," she explained with wide eyes.

"I know," he reassured.

"So I'm sorry," she nodded bluntly and ignored the tears in her eyes.

He smirked.

She frowned and shot him a look, "I should have been the bigger person because let's remember you were an ass and you made it very clear what you thought about me."

He chuckled.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"You…" she nodded, but didn't know how to ask.

"Yea," he nodded back.

"How are you…" her head shook.

"I don't know," he tentatively answered back. "I'm afraid that if I try to even begin to figure that out…"

"And here I am putting my crap on you," she shook her head annoyed with herself, "ask me how many times I promised not to in the past thirty-six hours?" She frowned, "And I'm doing it again."

"It's the thought that counts," he smiled.

She let out a sigh as she studied him. "It's going to be okay," she promised.

His eyebrows once more lifted.

"Take it from someone who spent most of their life running," she nodded and walked closer to him, "being whole, knowing it all, acknowledging it, accepting it, it hurts like hell, but," she nodded again, "it's who you are."

He simply looked up at her.

"I promise," she swore and looked down into the hesitant blue.

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I feel like there's a thin pane of glass between me and it and when it…" He swallowed hard.

She held his hand.

"You look tired," he said noticing the dark smudges beneath her eyes.

She smirked, "Guess that means your vision's back and we're doing the you thing. Not the me thing."

"Can we do that tomorrow?"

She chuckled.

"You should go home, get some rest."

Her head shook, "Not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine, I'll go back to sleep," he quickly let go of her hand and closed his eyes.

"You've slept through almost two days," she dryly pointed out.

"I can get them to give me something," he pointed out.

"But you won't."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"A few hours this morning," she smirked, "Robin and I shared a bed in the on-call room. I think she's gonna be a little extra popular this week."

He chuckled.

"They were supposed to bring in a cot," she frowned at the door, "my guess is they brought it to your old room."

"I changed rooms?"

"Yea we finally got you a room with a view. We hoped it might make it a little easier to keep you here," she tenderly smiled.

"Thank you," he softly spoke.

"It's what a wife's for," she smiled.

"That and falling asleep where they stand," he said noticing her slight wobble.

She chucked and frowned and shot another look at the door, "I should probably call about the bed. I don't want to fall asleep on you though."

He went to use his injured arm to lift himself up, but quickly stopped. Instead using his right and bending his legs to walk his body over.

"Jason what are you-"

"Hurting myself," he groaned and collapsed back down. "Free spot though," he nodded at the small space he'd created.

She looked warily at him.

"Just be careful of the IV," he pointed out.

"Jason," she hesitantly began.

He just looked up at her with wide eyes, scared eyes.

"I missed you liking me," she tenderly smiled.

"I always liked you," he smiled back, "I just can't stand you at times."

"Nothing new with that," she smiled as she crawled into bed with him.

-x-x-X-x-x-

With bleary eyes she made her way down the hall, reassured that nothing that happened thanks to her empty pager, but nevertheless annoyed with herself for sleeping so long, while Jason was…And Brenda never did well alone with her thoughts for long.

She had just finished a giant yawn and she gently pushed open his door.

Large, blue eyes greeted her staring straight ahead, apprehensive, scared and defensive all at one. Then there right below those eyes was puff of brown hair and Brenda's head rested on his shoulder, her body sideways to fit in alongside him and a hand resting on his chest. Jason's un-injured arm rested alongside her, softly cradling.

Robin let out a short smile and nodded at him, she saw a trace amount of relief flood his eyes before he let them close again.

She swallowed hard as she pulled the door shut without waking her best friend. She turned to leave and was confronted with a slowly moving Patrick walking the halls.

"I woke up and you weren't there," he ended with a yawn.

"Sorry," she apologized, "why don't you get your keys we can go home."

"You talk to Jason?" Patrick looked startled, he hadn't thought she'd left the room that long ago, he'd woken up to the sound of the door closing and her spot was still warm.

"No," she shook her head.

"I thought you said you weren't leaving until you got any answers."

"Look in the window," she said referring to the small window that was on the door, a benefit not all the rooms had.

"Oh man, Epiphany's going to let them have it," Patrick shook his head, "she does not take kindly to sharing beds, brain injury or not."

Robin shook her head and let her boyfriend trail after her.

"So what does this mean?" he asked as she was pulling her stuff out of her locker as he realized she wasn't going to tell him, despite the fact that Jason was both of their's patient.

"It means he's Jason," she shook her head and tossed her bag over her shoulder.

"Jason Morgan because he's sleeping with his wife?" Patrick pestered.

Paused and lifted her head in an, 'You've got to be kidding me' look.

"It was a good hypothesis," he vigorously defended.

"He looked scared," she said simply.

"I wonder why," he shook his head.

"No Jason doesn't…" her head shook, "Not for himself."

"So he remembers because he looks scared?" his eyes rolled and he wondered where exactly Dr. Scorpio was.

"No he's not just Jason Morgan because Brenda isn't suffering from hypothermia or having a complete mental breakdown and that's the only way you'd normally witness, what we just witnessed."

"Maybe its just jealousy," he teased trailing beside her, "your ex with his wife, your best friend," he chuckled.

Her eyes once more lifted up to view him in exasperation and sighed, never bothering to answer him.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she pulled out her phone once they reached Jason's room.

"I promised Emily I'd let her know, hopefully she won't call her mom for a few hours and let Jason rest."

"So you're going to," he said frowning as she hit the camera button on her phone.

"Shh," she ordered and opened the door and snapped the picture without Jason awaking.

"Women are crazy," he muttered as they walked towards the elevator a few moments later.

And then there is was, a simple picture of an ordinary act. A wife and husband asleep in bed together.

Yet in the middle of the night it awoke a woman, who awoke a man with a violent shove as she began to sob, leaving him to study the picture over her shoulder before stealing it away from her, at the same time he tried to comfort her.

"When did Robin become a voyeur?" was all he could think to ask in confusion and frowned at his beloved sobbing. He supposed she really had wanted Elizabeth with her brother and not his…It would be a few minutes before he realized they were tears of joy and not sorrow.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I hope it wasn't confusing or annoying or anything like that. :-P **_Comments?_

**AN: **Now in case you're interested in the path of this story (as in other one shots)...Some possible one shots that have been running around my mind so they may decide to make an appearance.

The Path to…

(Truth-Jason and Sam) on the verge of their breakup, Sam calls Jason out on his past relationships and his current ones.

(Redemption-AJ and Courtney) brainwashed and held captive by our favorite blonde villainess, this pair makes their escape back to Port Charles.

(Forgiveness-Jason and Robin) how to forgive the hurt and not pretend as if it never happened.

(Discovery- AJ and Brenda) placed last summer so Alan is still alive or now if I decide to keep him dead, but I think people prefer Alan still around. Very similar to 'To Come Back' only this time AJ isn't dragged back willingly.

And I think I may have to write a Jason and Carly fic one of these days. LW and SB really work well together, I totally didn't feel that with the last two Carly's. I may get over my fear of the readers who canonize Carly and bash everyone else. Of course with a massive disclaimer at the top, warning them that they aren't allowed to do that. :-P (and yup that had led me to a massive break in GH writing, awhile back).

And no these wouldn't delay my other stories, I always try writing my other stuff first before I do anything else. Sometimes it just doesn't like coming.   
:-P


	3. Return

**Things to note:**

1) I'm not really pro-Sam (they kinda made her annoying as they tend to do with characters), but she worked well with the piece.

2) I'm definitely not anti-Jason (but well, I am anti Liz and Jason, so he's kinda been annoying me :-P), however I want the piece to fit with the tone of the show for the next few weeks. I know Jason will be exonerated because well…He always is.

3) Sean K. is AJ because well, he's AJ. :-P AJ was also a Mama's boy, I felt like returning to that.

4) Actual ramblings regarding the current storyline will be posted in the short chapter of "Sanctuary" which will be going up shortly (I was going to post a longer last chapter, but well, I figured folks would get cranky if I post this and didn't update that, so last chapter has been split into two).

**

* * *

**

**The Path to…**

**_Return_**

She wasn't quite sure why she was in the cemetery just before five, as dusk had begun to overtake the grounds, leaving a sorrowful end to the day. Entering a night which she knew would feel never-ending.

After everything though, she needed to be close to her baby.

Needed to tell _her_ Cameron and Jake would never replace _her_.

Needed to tell _her_, she didn't know what had gone wrong with the man who loved _her_ like a father. _No idea how it had spiraled so far so fast. _

Needed to promise _her_ that despite everything she knew Alexis thought, she wasn't going to screw this up with Lucky and his boys.

She would be perfect.

She would keep them safe, love them and it would be returned.

She needed to tell _her_ that if she could go back and change it all so that they were still a family and had a future she would. _But she couldn't…_

So she was living, surviving until they could be together again.

She needed to tell her.

-x-x-X-x-x-

At first glance as she approached Emily's grave with the single flower she had saved from her daughter's bouquet, reverently held between her fingers, she thought the lone figure was her cousin grieving over his beloved's grave.

But as she drew closer that figure on his knees as if brought down by the sight of the freshly installed tombstone, so still…

"AJ?" she whispered, the cemetery, the approaching night, and the ghost before her, all ensured it was just a hushed question and nothing more.

He turned with a vacant expression in his eyes, his mouth open, "It can't be true." His head swung back to his sister's name engraved on the slab of stone. "It said I was, but I'm not dead so she can't be dead."

That was when Sam noticed the brown paper bag poorly concealing a bottle of vodka resting in his hand.

"She can't be dead," his head shook at the tombstone.

"I'm sorry," she automatically replied despite knowing she should be running and calling Jason despite everything, Michael deserved better.

His head shook and his eyes closed, "She isn't dead. I'm not dead so she isn't dead. You see your own grave in a nightmare…Christmas Carol right?" He turned to look back at her, "I'm having a midlife crisis, holiday induced insanity? I should reform, ask forgiveness." His eyes closed and his head swung back to his sister's grave, unable to stay away from it, "It's my guilty conscience. Give back the money, ask them to throw me in jail for Jason, Courtney…Everything else," his eyes opened again slowly. "This can't be real," he whispered in an awed tone, _it just couldn't be. _

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"No," he head slowly shook, "I couldn't have killed my sister too."

"What do you mean?" the hair on her arms stood tall in fear.

He turned back, emotion starting to show in his face, "The paper said it was mob related…I did this," his head shook in despair. "I killed my sister by killing my brother."

He looked up at her in complete desperation. "I should have stopped him, I could have stopped this. I shouldn't have let him bring that into our family, I shouldn't have let Em…" he starting gasping for air before dropping the bottle out of his fingers and raising his hands to his face.

Sam automatically rushed forward and dropped to her knees, placing a hand on the side of his arm.

He looked up with bloodshot eyes, "My actions not theirs. They shouldn't have…I'm fine. I always…I'm always fine…And they…"

Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out.

"I killed my sister," he repeated.

"Anthony Zacchara killed Emily," she stated the facts.

"Because of Jason, I created Jason. I killed them both."

"I should call…" _Emily. _She should be calling Emily. Sensible Emily, who would be able to talk Jason into not killing AJ.

"But I'm not dead," he glanced in the direction of two stones away, just past his father's to his, "I'm not…So she…" he looked back to Sam in desperation, ready to beg for her to agree with him.

"I was there," she told him. "This isn't a dream," her hand touched the side of his cheek amazed she'd never noticed how much he and Jason looked alike.

"She can't be-"

"She is and it's horrible," she held his eyes and his gaze with her own.

"But I'm…"

Her lips twitched up in a brief moment of confusion, "Don't have an answer for you on that one since a lot of people saw you dead."

"Are you dead?" he asked still trying to understand it all.

"I hope not," _and oddly enough that was the truth. _

"Sam right?" he finally realized he hadn't acknowledged her, wasn't entirely sure he remembered her name, "Jax's _girlfriend_, the Bren-" he stopped himself before he said 'the Brenda look alike.'

"I was," she was thrown off by the question and looked down at the bottle, its contents now soaking the ground. "How much did you drink?"

He looked down at the bottle in confusion, "Not a…" his head tilted at it, "Maybe…I think I forgot it was there," he let out a chuckle, "that's a first."

"I'll bet," she nodded. "Look we should get you home to your family."

He stared blankly at her.

"I'm not about to leave you out here-" _unattended with Michael already under the threat of another crazy man._

"I'm responsible for her death," he repeated to the stone wall, albeit a pretty stone wall.

"It's them or Jason," she set it out bluntly for him, wondering if she should call Lucky instead.

He just looked at her with empty, yet defeated eyes, "I could run."

"I could call Jason."

"Point taken," he nodded. He turned back to the gravestone, "I don't know how to say goodbye to her."

"Then don't," she told him, "not yet."

"I'll never get to say any of it to her though. I told her when we thought she shouldn't make it-" his eyes clenched, "she survived cancer twice."

"I know, she was strong and stubborn," Sam smiled.

"She had so much life to live," he once more spoke in wonder, _how could that just be over? How could she just be over so completely? _

"Come on," she said standing, "when was the last time you slept?" she asked as she grabbed his arm as he started to sway as he tried to stand.

"I tried, every time I closed my eyes," his eyes swayed back to the tombstone. "Did she suffer?"

"I don…" she stopped her denial as he turned to her, "she was strangled."

"She was awake? She knew what was happening?" his head shook for that and he started walking.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"I changed my mind," he said as her car pulled to a stop in front of the mansion, "call Jason."

She turned off the car and looked over at him with un-amused eyes, "Are you serious?"

"He kills me, I kill him either way it's over," he'd resolutely decided.

"Get out of the car," she ordered.

"Take me to Jason."

"They're going to lock you up in Ferncliff," then her eyes narrowed and her voice grew in strength, "actually they should have done that awhile ago."

"Fine I'll walk," he went to open the door, his actions were slow due to sleep deprivation and she slammed the lock button.

He shot a look over at her before rolled his eyes holding the lock open as he opened the door. She quickly followed him out of the car yelling his name, glancing between him and the Quartermaine's door, by the time she could get one of them, he'd be gone. She crushed the never used panic button on her keys between her fingers.

"What the hell?" he yelled turning, covering his ears.

"Don't you dare, I drive your sorry ass all the way over here instead of taking you to Jason or the cops-" she was yelling back as the front door opened.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Ned bellowed. "Sam," he said as he saw her, he followed her line of sight; "AJ?" his voice dropped several decibels.

"I'll find him myself," AJ ignored Ned and told Sam over the noise before he took off again.

Ned looked blankly as AJ strode off, too stunned to react.

Her eyes widened in shock at just how useless this family could be.

"Ned what's going on out here?" Monica's weary yell over the car alarm stopped everyone in their actions. Sam turned off the alarm instantly. "Sam, if you're here to defend Jason," Monica said joining Ned on the low landing of the entryway.

"Mom," AJ whispered as he too had turned to face the grieving mother, unable to keep walking away from that voice.

"AJ?" blue eyes showed their confusion.

He started to crumple, _she was safe with her he was safe; loved and protected. _"She can't be dead," he told her. "A sick scheme of Grandfather's to get back the money…" _she would tell him, Sam might not, but she would. _"She can't be dead Mom," the gasping breaths returned, his mind and body unable to deal with the strain of having been up almost two days straight and finding out his sister was dead.

"Oh sweetheart," she said rushing towards him.

"Please tell me she isn't dead," he said as he crumpled into her sobbing. "Please Mom, please tell me-"

"Shh," she soothed into his hair as she stroked it with one hand.

"Mom, I-" he cried again.

"I don't think he's been drinking, at least not much," Sam told Ned as he looked over at her still in shock, "I found him at Emily's grave; I don't know how long he was sitting there."

"What in God's name is going on out here?!" Edward put Ned's bellow to shame. "Samantha," he scolded until he heard the outside noise, the sorrowful, pitiful cried for forgiveness and he turned as did the other two to see Monica now kneeling on the driveway rocking with AJ.

"Oh my," his voice dropped and his face took on a look of a heart attack. A moment later he turned back to look at Sam, "Figures," he muttered, Ned and Sam once more turned to look at him, "rises from the dead with Jason's ex."

"Ned," Monica's firm voice, much different than the whispered words of a mother trying to sooth a distraught child, "I need you to go inside and get my bag."

It's return to soft and calming being murmured to AJ was what shocked Ned into action.

"Should I be calling someone?" Sam asked with apprehensive eyes, not feeling comfortable with being part of such a personal family moment.

"No, he's going to be fine," Monica reassured as her son was finally starting to calm down, burrowed in the crook of her shoulder, "it's just the stress."

"I don't think he's slept either," she offered. "He said something about nightmares."

Monica didn't say anything just turned right back to her son and kissed the top of his head.

Sam and Edward stood in awkward silence until Ned returned with Monica's medical bag. Sam tried to talk AJ into letting go of his mother as Ned was instructed on filling a syringe, but she gave up as Monica shook her head no and the needle slid into his flesh as his mother held him tight as he jerked.

She stayed close by though as AJ went limp in his mother's arms, helped heave him into Ned's and then helped adjust him when Alice took over.

It was at the door though that she was stopped by Edward, signaling she was no longer needed. "I want to thank you for what you did tonight my dear."

"Oh it was no-" she shook her head.

"No, no it was. Might I ask one more favor though?"

Dread filled her stomach.

"Allow us some time to deal with this revelation, ascertain it's validity before you share the news with anyone else?"

"You mean Jason?"

"Anyone," he didn't dare repeat that man's name. The one who had cost him his granddaughter.

"It's your family," was her quick answer and she turned to leave, but quickly turned back. "I'm sorry…" she stumbled over her words, "Emily was…Emily was amazing."

Edward nodded before turning back into the house.

-x-x-X-x-x-

News spread quickly around Port Charles about AJ's return, Sam had even heard from Alexis after a visit from Ned that all AJ had been able to offer was a suggestion of, 'Things didn't exactly end well between Lydia and I,' and a few comments about not being willing to share as much of the family fortune he had stolen as she thought she deserved. She also found out AJ had settled himself on a large ranch down in Argentina, had been living as a gaucho for the past few years and ELQ was soon to be thriving again due to a large influx of funds.

The remaining details were sketchy to those outside of the family, but there was one thing for certain, he was not only not a ghost, but also not a criminal, despite Scott's attempts to dig up some charges.

The news had spread as quickly as Lucky's case for sole custody progressed, especially since Liz was frequently sighted in Jason's company and she was pretty sure a judge would believe they were once more intimate, so any issue of her and Lucky would cease to matter, and Jason was a known violent criminal, despite the fact that nothing was ever proven and Alexis was a very good attorney.

She tried her best to put the thought of Jason and Elizabeth out of her mind and keep her promises to her daughter. To be a better person, to be a better girlfriend to Lucky, to make sure he got his boys.

She would have given up Jason for her daughter, the fact that Elizabeth refused to now…It proved she didn't deserve them. Especially after Leticia and Emily's deaths…

"Hey Sam," her name was called and she paused.

She turned, "AJ," she smiled, "glad to see you out." She stopped and smiled, "Actually more like amazed to see you out."

"Yea," he nodded and looked around, "I've gotten a few weird looks, I think a lady even poked me before to make sure I was real."

She laughed; it was amazing how fast they were all learning to laugh again.

"I never got to thank you for the other week," he began.

"I did what-"

"Let me thank you," he flashed a charming smile and she shut her mouth and waved her hand, allowing him to continue. "Despite everything I heard I'd done and the fact that even when I did know you we weren't exactly friends…" his head nodded. "I was in a bad place and you helped me out."

"Don't kidnap anyone I consider family and we'll call it even," she gave him a daring smile.

Another caddish smile, "I'll do my best."

"You're staying in town?"

"Edward's instituted me as Tracy's watchdog over at ELQ. Though I think he sold it to her as something less devious."

She laughed being taken in by his easy charm, amazed she had never experienced or anticipated this side of him.

"Actually I think I-" Liz's voice stopped as she and Jason made the turn towards Kelly's, but instead encountered AJ and Sam.

They just stared at each other, the women having no choice but to after stern talking to's by their lawyers. AJ and Jason simply remained quiet, though as rumor went around the city, they did nearly kill each other soon after AJ's arrival in town and it was nearly not broken apart. Some tried to cite Jason's non-marred appearance as proof that it hadn't happened, however AJ's non-appearance weakened their case and it would remain the rumor for months to come.

"I should be going," AJ ignored them and smiled down at Sam. "I just wanted to say thanks again."

"Once more not a problem," she reiterated as Jason and Elizabeth walked past them.

"Have a good day."

"You too," she smiled.

He turned to walk away in the opposite direction that Jason and Liz had just come from, "You know if you ever need a job, I checked out your work…"

She smiled, possibly even a little brighter as she watched Liz and Jason pause, "I'll keep it in mind. Thanks."

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Be good Sam," she ordered herself as AJ disappeared out of the alley and Jason and Liz into Kelly's.

She reminded herself of the promises she had made to her daughter, to not live in the past, to focus on the future, on Lucky and his boys…

_It would be so easy though…_

* * *

So comments???

Random Ramblings:

I'm thinking about a Brenda return home piece to go along with Emily's death as well.

I've also been thinking about two different AJ/Cassadine pieces (and totally almost made AJ's return here a Cassadine creation). I'm assuming however due to the vast difference of reviews in my two current stories that the piece primarily focused on Jason (along with Brenda) would be the better choice rather than the AJ/Courtney piece I originally thought of. :-P

Thanks for reading!


	4. Revelations

AN: Oh man oh man oh man. As stupid as I think GH is, they're giving me a lot of inspiration lately. I caught ten minutes of the show today and it soooo tied into one of the ideas I'd had about Brenda's feelings regarding this. So here it is. Thanks for reading!

* * *

_The Path to… _

**(Revelations) **

"Miss Barrett, you can't just-" Max said chasing after the small brunette who had caught him off guard, wondering why she had been let past the gate after he'd explicitly told them, 'Mr. C was to have no visitors.'

Sonny had leapt to his feet in the living room hearing her name, but paused to groan in discomfort, clutching his wound and still doing so as she flung open the doors and said only one word, "Emily."

"Brenda," he compassionately began seeing the red rimmed eyes, her face scrubbed clean of makeup, her hair gathered up in a ponytail. It probably hadn't been washed in days; she wouldn't have had time for much else aside from the flight, which he knew took over half a day. She had been overseas in Tokyo for the past month and a half, as always watched from afar, a vain attempt to ensure her safety.

"No," she demanded, "**Emily.**" Her head shook in horror, "She was just a baby. A baby," she repeated the word. _Things like that just couldn't be true. _

"I know," he took a step closer to her and she took a step back, "leave Max," he ordered.

"You sure Mr. C?" he questioned as he viewed the woman who was suddenly shooting him a dirty look for just existing.

"Now," Sonny commanded.

He didn't need to be told more than twice, he quickly shut the doors.

"Brenda," he tried her name again.

Her head shook and the base of her palms pressed into her eyes as she walked away, trying to block out and stop everything.

"Bren," his voice softened even further.

_Her Sonny, _he drew her in every time, she turned with glassy eyes, "A baby," she repeated.

"I know," he reached out to comfort her.

She jerked back again, taking a moment to deal with the initial shock; she started shaking her head at him, studying him, "You killed her." Her head shook more and she waved a hand around, "this killed her."

"Brenda," he began again, "no one knew what An-"

"No," her head violently shook, loosening the ponytail. "You knew. Everything. Everyone. This life," she waved the hand again, "was it worth Emily?"

"Brenda if I-"

"What Sonny?" she demanded, "What would you have done?"

He began to open his mouth.

"She was a baby Sonny!" the palms went back up and she turned to walk a few steps again. She turned back, "A little girl who lost her mom. The little girl who was so screwed up over her family that she started doing drugs. Do you remember what she looked like in that hospital bed? She was just a baby."

"If I could do anything to make this better Brenda-"

"No, you wouldn't. So don't promise you would. You got out. You could have stayed out, **but you didn't**."

"Bren-" _didn't she get it? What reason had he had to stay out when she was gone? _

"Its," her hands lifted in defeat as she sucked in a breath, "where did it go Sonny?"

He didn't dare move.

"First Stone, then Jason, Lily," her head shook, she hadn't truly wished death on Lily, certainly not her baby. "Karen, AJ," her head shook more. "It's all gone." _They'd been so young. It wasn't supposed to of… _

"I never thought it could get worse than Stone," she gasped for air, "but it just keeps getting worse. What's left?" She just looked at him for a second before shrugging her shoulders, "Why Sonny? I just don't understand why?"

He took the sudden crumpling of her form as a chance to swoop in, his hands went around her waist, holding her tightly ignoring his own pain, which he could barely even feel over hers, it was radiating out from her.

She barely struggled as he pulled her flush to him. "When's it supposed to get better? There's barely anything…" her voice tapered off as her cries became more pitiful.

"There was so much," she shook in his arms, "and now it's all gone."

She started to pitch forward and he was in no condition to hold them both up, so he did his best to ease them to the floor. Cradling her between his legs, her head resting on his chest, her hands clutching his shoulders.

A myriad of murmurs from him in response to hers, that he, 'knew,' it would 'be okay,' it wasn't 'all gone,' until she finally fell asleep in his arms.

He just held her feeling more drained than he had after giving blood to his brother and being shot barely a day before and within hours of each other. More drained and more alive than he had felt in ages. His heart pounded as hers settled into a steady rhythm. "I kept you safe," he whispered into the top of her head before placing a kiss into the dark locks. "I kept you safe," he repeated before allowing his own head to rest upon hers, feeling its familiar comfort.

Kate's eyes which had long since gone empty, briefly closed and she turned from her position on the top landing and walked back down the hallway.

-x-X-x-

"How long has she been here?" Jason's firm voice questioned as he opened the parlor doors to see Sonny with Brenda in his arms.

Sonny looked up stunned.

"How **long** has she been here?" Jason repeated.

"Uh Stone Cold, not acting very-" Spinelli began, but quickly shut up by the death glare his protector shot him.

"How long?" Jason repeated.

"Uh-" Sonny tried to focus.

"Maybe a little less than an hour, I called you when I realized she-" Max shut up when he realized Jason's anger had increased.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jason threatened, ignoring everyone, but Sonny.

"Uh do you think you might be overreact-" Spinelli once more shut up.

"She was upset Jason," Sonny defended.

"Then you call me or you call Robin," he explained as he moved to forcibly remove Brenda from Sonny's hold.

He could feel her slipping from him, the last hair on his cheek, the scent of it, the last feel of her skin against his, the warmth leaving his body.

"What's going on down here?" Kate asked moving down the stairs.

"Have you been here this whole time?" Jason asked with Brenda gently stirring in his arms over the noise and movement, but not enough to wake.

"I haven't left the house since we brought Sonny home," she offered, not wanting to admit to anything.

"The entire time Brenda's been here?"

"Is she alright?" Kate made a disdainful, yet slightly curious face, trying to play off what she already knew.

"She's fine," Sonny offered with a groan as he stood. "She's upset over Emily. She fell asleep."

"She can't just fall asleep Sonny," Jason ordered, "not here, not with you."

"Am I missing something? And if anyone should be playing jealous girlfriend, shouldn't it be me?" Kate questioned.

"Actually Stone Cold does get to play the role of jealous ex-husband despite it conflicting with his-"

Jason shot another look at Spinelli, "Enough." He turned to Max, "Brenda was here with Sonny and Kate checking up on him."

"Uh yes sir," Max said with more respect than normal, suddenly afraid of the normally easy going Jason, if that was the story he was to tell, he would tell it.

He turned to leave with Brenda in his arms.

"Should I have someone follow you with Brenda's car?" Max questioned, despite not wanting to.

Jason suddenly froze and cursed his sudden forgetfulness, "No," he shook his head. "I can't risk carrying her out," his eyes closed in pain at having to wake her.

"I feel as if we are missing the critical goblet of power in the 8th lev-"

Jason turned again, blue eyes nearly going black.

"Is there any knowledge you wish to impart on the Jackal?"

"Yes," Jason said with a focused look, "be quiet."

The addition of those sharp words finally caused Brenda to stir again.

"Hey Brenda, I'm going to put you down, think you can stand?"

"Do you have to?" she mumbled and buried her face into the gray shirt.

"Yea come on," Jason nodded and went to tilt her out of his arms, "just for a few minutes. I just need you to walk to the car."

She grumbled sliding to her feet. She blinked when confronted with Spinelli.

"Hey, hello there Sleeping Beauty, no no. Snow White. Pasithea. Persephone, torn between-"

"Spinelli," Sonny snapped, seeing Brenda struggling to comprehend what was going on, though he instantly regretted that move because it hit her all over again seeing him.

She took a step back to escape reality, but hit Jason's chest instead. She turned, her eyes flooded again seeing him, "Oh god Jason," the staggering loss hit her again, especially seeing it echo in his eyes.

"Come on, we need to get you out of here," he said placing a hand gently on her shoulder.

"I can't go back there," her head shook, the ponytail having been lost during her nap by a gentle tug of Sonny's fingers. "I can't be in that house. It's like a mausoleum."

"You don't have to go back there. Come on, I'll take you home. I'll have Robin call, make sure they know you're alright."

She gently nodded her agreement.

"Where are your car keys?"

She went to pat down her pockets.

"Still in the car," Max provided.

"Take her car back to Harbor View," Jason ordered Spinelli, "I'll meet you there."

"Sweet the-" he once more quickly shut his mouth about the car that would make even the Blonde One envious. "Hey do you think I can-"

"To the apartment Spinelli. No stopping except for lights," Jason quickly shut his young friend's mouth.

"As you say Stone Cold," he replied with a loss of his smile.

"I'll talk to you later Sonny," was Jason's curt farewell as he ushered Brenda out of the house.

* * *

**Now you see there are options following this. If you like it, it can be continued into a short story involving some very Q-ness emerging and being found, but then there would be AJ-ness and well. I've only got an AJ reader or two. So yay or nay with more of this? **


	5. Making Amends

**AN: **So there's been this complete avalanche of GH ideas swirling around my head lately. Or maybe more snowball, started with one, picked up another, then another, then another.

The majority of them have the same/similar themes and occurrences. Like for instance this one (and another J&R based fic I have in my head) will be very similar to 'Slippery Slope.'

So that was just a warning. If you don't want that one spoiled and want to read it as something totally fresh (okay or as fresh as things can be in the land of soaps) don't read this one.

**-This may be a bit too philosophical for Jason, but well he's made a lot of strides since his accident. I wanted something that really played well with the despair that comes with death.**

**-I do this concept a lot, but never allowing it to be his choice and this was the perfect time for that. Thanks for reading!!!! **

**Warning: **Scenes change constantly. Different locations, different times, I think I mentioned them where it matters, but I probably didn't do a great job at it. :-P

* * *

**Making Amends**

He'd often felt like a fraud. The things he didn't know how to do, didn't know why he should do them, often he just couldn't understand how to do them, even when he wanted to be able to.

Most of that had changed over the years. He had grown. He had expanded. He'd often felt like a fraud during such learning experiences, but Robin had told him you learn through imitation, research had told him that as well, along with life experiences of watching Michael duplicate his actions, mirror his emotions.

Though being aware he was imitating someone was easier than the times he felt like he had no control over his actions. That Jason Quartermaine had slipped into his life.

Saving Nikolas' life outside of Luke's. Getting on a bicycle, going surfing, landing in Paris and not needing the English translation over the intercom.

It reminded him that it wasn't his life to be living.

Someone had died and he was living in his shell like a hermit crab.

The outside identical, so he was awarded everything that had belonged to the one who had passed.

His money, his family, second chances they wouldn't have given a stranger.

Now though he had imitated too much, had become too dependent on what his shell had given him.

There was a gaping hole within him from the loss of Emily.

The accident had left him unable to easily envision a future. Not that he _couldn't_ because practice while he wasn't even aware of it was occurring had slowly enabled him to learn how to imagine. From the immediate consequences of his actions, to hours, to days, to weeks.

But now he couldn't imagine a future without Emily, every time he tried the pain would become too great.

And now he was feeling worse than a fraud. He not only couldn't comfort Monica, his mere presence which was once a salve now hurt. He didn't know how else to comfort her. And he had no right to be comforted. Everything she said was true.

Worse, he suddenly wasn't sure he wasn't responsible for all of her losses.

Without Sonny around, Jerry Jax would have been dead years ago. Alan would have been safe.

Without Sonny, who was to say what AJ would have become. Robin had once believed in him enough to give over the little boy she adored, she had cared for.

Maybe he enabled the fight between Carly and AJ. Let it spiral so out of control. Allowed the lies to go on so long that Michael had such a hard time adjusting to a new environment, a new person.

Meat hooks, fires, stalkers.

Maybe if you took Sonny or himself out of the equation at any point and time, AJ could have turned it around. AJ was weak, fragile, just one little thing to set off a cascading failure. And there was always something that set him off, but maybe he was finally seeing that they had all involved him.

He had done this to Monica. Living in her son's shell, he had destroyed her family.

Maybe if the shell had been shattered, too shattered for anything to live in it, maybe they could have made it. Maybe they would have been alright.

But instead there was a fraud in his place.

Twelve years and he was still a fraud. She was his mother, yet he couldn't be her son. A child was asked so little. A little comfort that was all he needed to do and not only could he not provide that, he caused her grief.

He had tried to make himself believe with Michael, with Courtney, with Sam and now Jake. Tried to believe he could be a good father, but if he couldn't be a son, how did he ever expect to be a father?

How did he ever think he could make a relationship last? Robin, Carly, Sam….The tragic ends they took, his actions, his inabilities….

_There was a card. _

A card tucked into a pair of jeans' pockets that he hadn't worn in years, yet he left them in his drawer as a hiding place.

A spot where no girlfriend, no friend, no child, no family would look.

He was never sure why he kept it. Maybe deep down he knew this day would come.

Experimental, unregulated therapy.

There were no guarantees that you would come out of it with your life, let alone closer to the person you once were.

Yet this illegal operation had been in existence for years that fact alone made him curious about it. The kind of operation where they found you, not the other way around. They approached him with his scans, his medical charts, stuff they shouldn't have been able to get.

They had been in contact a couple times over the years and one day he had found himself near the facility after running an errand for Sonny. The knowledge, the memory of its existence had left him unable to stay away.

He was selfish though, for all the times he accused it in others it was most prevalent in himself.

It was his life now.

Not Jason Quartermaine's.

But now…

He had left her alone. Allowed everything to be taken from her and he couldn't fill that void.

He had to try to give her something back.

And he was depriving someone else of a chance at life. Someone that would know what to do with the gift of it.

So with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he didn't even feel when he was out numbered 10 to 1, he dialed the number and said goodbye to his life.

-x-X-x-

The pain was indescribable, worse than he had ever felt before and it was only getting worse, the pressure, the burning, every step, every movement near impossible.

He'd known something was wrong. Fought tooth and nail to get out of that place. They'd heard stories about him, but they hadn't been expecting it, they hadn't been prepared.

Through sheer will he somehow made it back to Port Charles without killing himself or someone else. His truck abandoned in front of the hospital, keys still in the ignition.

He crumpled against the wall of the elevator with one thought in mind, one though that he'd been running through his head since the pain had started 'Get to Robin.'

_Robin could fix it or at least make it stop. _

"Ra-" he groaned stepped off the elevator and by sheer luck she was running to catch him as he started to crumple, with his palms pressed against his forehead in agony.

"Oh god Jason," she was underneath him now, cradling him to her. "Patrick," she screamed and he too came running as Epiphany started ordering people around, demanding supplies.

"Jason…" she begged.

"Come on let's get him flat," Patrick ordered kneeling next to them, carefully moving the anguished Jason off of Robin.

"Jason," she begged again, "what happened? Where you hurt?" She scanned him quickly with her eyes, her fingers gently running over his head, "I don't see any-"

"I was trying to make it better," he groaned.

"Make what better? Did you take something Jason?"

"In my car," he quickly answered, "I grabbed as much as I could."

"Sto-" Spinelli's voice died as seeing the strong suddenly so weak.

"Go find his car," Patrick yelled "bring whatever's inside of it."

"Jason," Robin softly pleaded, "where's your car?"

"Outside. In front," his hands lifted up in agony again.

"It's okay Jason," she promised, brushing back his hair forgetting to be a doctor, "we're gonna figure this out. It's going to be okay."

He curled onto his side towards her until they lifted him onto the gurney.

-x-X-x-

"Jason," she begged.

He struggled to open his eyes, but the light was too bright, he couldn't do more than a few flickers of blue to her brown.

"I need you tell me what happened, where did you get those vials?"

"I didn't want her to be alone…It hurts."

"I know it hurts," her fingers traced his face, "I don't understand though. I need to understand if I'm going to fix this." She tried to keep her words calm, not allowing the desperation she was feeling to cloud her judgment.

"Repair the damage, new pathways…" the words stumbled out.

"Jason," her voice filled with horror, "please don't tell me you were-"

"I had to try to fix it. She deserved that I try."

"Oh god Jason," she cried collapsing towards him, "why didn't you talk to me? Why'd you do this?"

"You would have stopped me."

"Damn straight I would have," she laughed through her tears at the twitch upwards his mouth had taken in amusement despite his pain.

"Card's-"

"We found the business card Jason," she cut him off, "Uncle Mac put in a call to the local police. He's going to let me know as soon as they find something. I have to try to figure out what they had you on. Monica's on her way-"

"No," his head violently shook.

"Ja-"

"No," he commanded again. "I don't want anyone."

"Jason, I can't…." she stopped herself knowing she wouldn't win the battle, "I'll send in a nurse to stay with you."

-x-X-x-

"Oh god Robin," Monica rushed at her as she was making her way to the lab, "where is he? What happened?"

"He," Robin shook her head, "I think he took some experimental drugs to repair the damage from the accident." Her words slow, so unable to deal with Jason doing something like that, something to make him a Quartermaine when all he wanted was to not be one of them.

"He what?" confusion showed across her face and in her voice.

"He kept saying you were all alone and he-"

"Oh god," her hands lifted to her face in horror, "oh god no. I was upset over Emily," her head continued to shake.

"What did you say to him?" Robin suddenly ferocious demanded.

"I was so…I was so upset over Emily, I never-"

"What did you say to him?"

"That he killed his sister, but I never-"

"He loved Emily. He adored her."

"I know, just his life."

"Oh god Monica," Robin's head shook. "I have to start analyzing the samples he got. He's in agony and I can't even risk giving him anything until I have some idea what they had him on."

"I need to be with him," Monica demanded.

"They're taking him down for tests-"

"So I'll go with him, I'm a doctor."

"He wants to be alone Monica," Robin softly explained.

"I'm his mother. He's all I have left in this world."

Robin's head shook, "I'm sorry," she quickly said and moved to dash past Monica. She didn't have any time to waste.

-x-X-x-

"He's in agony," Edward's loud voice nearly overtook the hospital, "I demand you do something."

Patrick looked on in confusion at the old man, "I thought you couldn't stand Jason?"

Edward looked startled by the accusation, "It's inhumane, and you'll be called up by the eth-"

"Maybe it would be a good idea for you to stop threatening the doctor trying to save Mr. Morgan's life," Epiphany butted in.

"Look Robin's in with him now," Patrick explained with his hands lifting, Monica barely stirred from the seat she had been escorted to by hospital security who had ushered them away from Jason's room. "She's started him on another course of-"

"Experimental treatments that got him here in the first place?" Monica questioned.

"She's trying to stabilize his brain chemistry," he shook his head, "they had him on a cocktail of drugs, proteins, and a half a dozen things we aren't even sure of and he's been on them for weeks now."

"Weeks?" Monica questioned.

"Apparently there was a starter package they had him on, to get his brain ready for the actual treatment." His head shook again, "Robin's doing her best."

"Well what about you?" Edward demanded, "You're suppose to be one of the best-"

"Jason doesn't need surgery, there's nothing I can do, but get back down to the lab and continue trying to help the staff identify what he's been on."

"Go," Monica ordered.

-x-X-x-

The pain was easing. She could feel it easing. He'd had her clutched in his arms for over an hour after she rushed back to his room with the treatment in hand as Epiphany warned that Jason was likely to stroke out soon unless they put him on something.

Jason had pulled through it, clutching her on the bed, barely allowing her to breathe he was holding so tightly, holding on for dear life.

She let him.

He needed something to hold onto, she was willing to be that something, willing to do anything to get him through this.

-x-X-x-

It ebbed and flowed.

The pain would subside, they would look like they were turning a corner and it would reemerge worse than before. She tried to be with him when it was bad, she'd stay with him until he slept; more often than not she slept too.

They carried on that ritual for almost two days and they were in the middle of another desperate attempt to block out the pain. Her cradled in his arms sitting up on the bed, the last round she had cradled him.

"I didn't…" he'd been trying to speak for some time now. "Why didn't I?" He rocked with her, "Why didn't I? It hurts. Robin, why didn't I…"

"We're going to get you through this," she promised as she'd been endlessly promising for days.

They shook a little sideways as he reacted to that.

"I can't deal with it. I can't do it," his words finally clearing, for while the radicals that had done this to Jason had delivered part of the original doses of medication to the affected area through minute drill holes which hadn't been discovered for hours into the treatment when a nurse had found them while sponging down Jason, but made sense considering the gauze Spinelli had found in the car. Robin wasn't willing to flood his brain with an unknown treatment and his speech had suffered for a few hours because of her attempts at stabilizing him.

"Yes you can Jason. You're strong you can do this."

He shook some more. "Why didn't I…I didn't think about remembering…."

And he was, he hadn't needed to directly say it, she saw it, she heard it.

"It hurts too much, I can't do it."

He was reliving it, being forced to deal with the horrors as a new person. "I…" his voice continued to shake.

"You're going to make it Jase," she promised clutching his hands.

-x-X-x-

"Oh god Jason," Robin skidded to her knees approaching Jason on the bathroom floor clutching the toilet bowl, the nurse watching him had been unable to do anything so once again, Robin had been called.

He'd torn his IV's out, but the wounds on his arms were the least of her worries. The vomiting and the sudden stop of the influx of the drug therapy he was on panicked her.

"They're dead because of me. I killed them. Oh god I killed them. Oh god. What'd you let me do? How did…Oh god I…."

-x-X-x-

He was still eventually on her lap, a new IV hooked into him despite them still being on the bathroom floor.

"I killed my family," he blankly repeated.

"No you didn't," she soothed, confident she no longer needed to rush off, that his brain chemistry had finally stabilized.

"I killed them," he repeated.

"Ja-"

"I killed others too, but I…I killed my family."

She stroked the brown hair back.

"I didn't think how it would feel. I don't think I knew how to feel. Maybe I did. Maybe that makes it worse."

-x-X-x-

His moods changed faster than anyone could anticipate them. Part of it was the residual effects of the various neurotransmitters, peptides and other 'shouldn't screw with things' still floating around his brain. He was angry, sad, despondent.

Shrinks came and went from the room.

Every test imaginable was performed.

Credit was claimed from the company that had packed up shop within the two hours it had taken Jason to get to Port Charles. Though that didn't happen until once they were settled in Italy and it was known that Jason would survive with his memory more or less intact.

A week and a half from when he had collapsed into her arms and Jason Morgan Quartermaine was ready to face the world. Though considering he'd refused to allow anyone into his hospital room during that time, she wasn't too sure if the shrinks were right about that.

Still though, she had Jason in a wheelchair, which was indicative of the change that had occurred. Sneaking him out in the middle of the night. Hopeful to get him out before the spies reported to their masters.

They had almost made it, walking to her car close by in the parking lot when Monica came rushing at them.

"Jason!"

He took several steps back.

"Jason," her voice softer this time as she approached them.

"What do you want?" his voice cold and detached, firm in his stance of not allowing her near him.

"Jason,'" her head shook. She turned to Robin, "I don't understand I thought he-"

"_He_ is right here," Jason pointed out.

She'd forgotten how strongly he'd reacted to that after the accident. "Jason," her head shook as she looked at him, "they told me you-"

"That I what?" he asked. "That I remember?"

Her mouth opened.

"I do," he nodded. "And I know that my brother is dead because of you."

"Jason," Robin snapped at him, shocked at his words.

"What?" he looked unaffected by Robin's shock and his mother's horror.

"Jason," Monica's head shook.

"I wasn't there to protect him," his voice grew loud. "**I wasn't there to keep him safe.**"

"Oh god Jason," Robin said tugging on his arm before he said something he would regret.

"If you wonder why you're all alone then I suggest you look in the mirror," he railed at his mother, "you just had to be there for him. You were supposed to take care of him, protect him, love him. But you didn't," his head shook at her. "You saw what he was doing, you saw what he was becoming, and what the hell did you do to stop it?"

Monica's mouth remained open in shock.

"I wasn't there to protect him because you made it so I always had to protect him and you couldn't even do it after I was gone."

"J-"

"No," his head shook again, "when you're looking in the mirror trying to figure out how you ended up this way. Remember that you destroyed him. Everyone puts the blame on Alan and Edward, but you were his mother, protecting him should have been your most important job. You should have at least realized it was your responsibility. You destroyed him, so you destroyed me, so when you're putting flowers on Emily's grave realize exactly why she's down there."

He turned and headed for the car leaving Robin and Monica slack jawed behind him.

Robin managed to mutter out, "I'm sorry, he doesn't mean it," before she went chasing after him.

-x-X-x-

"What the hell was that?" Robin demanded once she and Jason had closed their doors.

His blue eyes were glassy, his heart still pounding. "The truth," he answered.

"Jason, you just told her she murdered two of her children," her voice near a yell despite her constant worry over his fragile state of mind.

"Just because it isn't pretty doesn't mean it isn't the truth," he leaned his head back against the seat.

"Jason there's nothing she can do to fix that, everything happened, she can't turn back time."

"I should have told her years ago, I didn't know how to make her listen."

"Well she heard you loud and clear tonight," Robin said with still shocked eyes.

"Only a few decades too late," his eyes closed, "too late to save any of us."

"You're still here Jason," Robin's soft voiced filled the car.

He didn't say anything.

* * *

AN: Umm so comments? I wanted him that complete despair then the total anger that comes with death and such devastating change. 

I swear this was a good idea that just didn't come across properly on for this fic. So annoying when that happens. Sorry!!! (hmm probably should have been nice and told you that before you read the story :-P)


	6. Recovery

**AN:** Is it over? Did it happen? You know that 'Really dumb stupid GH writers' moment. Oh man, so not cool, there was that really funny 'does not compute' moment with Spinelli, which is when I realized I needed to turn off the tv or I was going to get upset. Umm this is one of my thoughts that's been running around since I heard this was going to happen. 

**Disclaimer:** I have no idea where Robin in living now. I remember the plans to move in with the girls, then living with Patrick, then that weird Vegas thing, then she and Patrick broke up, so I'm assuming she moved out, but I don't think she'd be planning on having a kid while living with roommates or her family, so I'm hoping she's in her own apartment now. If not well she's magically moved into one since the last time her living locale was mentioned. :-P

* * *

The Path to…

**Recovery **

"Have you seen Robin?" Jason overheard Patrick question Epiphany.

"Not since earlier, poor thing looked like she was going to fall over."

"Dammit," Patrick shook his head, "no one knows where she is. I'm starting to get worried."

"Her little cousin was just buried," Epiphany blunted reminded him, "you should be."

"I'm trying to find her," he reminded her, "no one's seen her for hours."

"And you just noticed now?"

"I thought she was with her family," he defended himself.

"Well you need to go be with Mr. Morison's family now because they've been waiting all day to talk to you."

"I need to-"

"You need to go talk to the family of the man whose brain you're going to be cutting into twelve hours from now."

Jason didn't even think as he stepped into the elevator, he knew where he needed to go.

-x-X-x-

_Stone's Bridge: _

He remembered waking up and seeing her. He didn't know what beauty was, he didn't know what people believed angels to be, but he knew she was everything. At least for that one moment, she had been his world entirely.

It had been a good first moment.

And she was the only to have ever been his world, maybe that was why he stood in awe for a split second as he came upon her. No tears in her eyes, no tell tale signs of them even recently being there. Just Robin staring out at the moon, stars glistening above her as the snow and ice sparkling around her; holding herself as he had once held her, hands crossed and holding onto arms.

"Robin," he called out her name gently.

"Do you remember me telling you I was HIV positive?" she asked not looking over at him.

"You thought it mattered," he shook his head.

"I thought I was going to die," she amended. "I couldn't even understand living when I was_just_ going to die."

"But you did," he continued to walk towards her.

"Only because of you," she shook her head. "Brenda and Sonny, Uncle Mac," she shook her head again, "_you were the one who pulled me through it_."

"I think it was the other way around, if I cared for you, I had to care for myself."

"God Jason," her eyes widened, still not looking at him, "I was so scared of losing you too."

Her eyes briefly closed, "Which makes it fitting that I was the reason why I lost you."

"I'm still here," he offered gently.

"I'm not going to fall apart," she told him as she ordered herself. "Duke, my parents, BJ, Stone, Brenda, Leora, I'm a doctor, I'm used to death."

"You never get used to this," he knowingly acknowledged.

"I do," her head shook, "I have to."

"No you don't," he stopped less than an arm's length away.

"If I don't," her voice cracked, "I won't ever be able to forgive myself."

"Robin there was nothing-" his hand went to touch her arm.

She turned away, "I should have been there for her. All of those years I stayed away," she shuddered slightly.

"Because of me," he blankly spoke; there had been so much loss because of him.

"No," she quickly turned back, "because of me. Because I couldn't deal with you being mad at me," her voice trembled despite its strength.

"I told you to-"

"No," she shook her head at him, tears now filling her eyes. "I left and I stayed away because of me. Because I couldn't survive seeing you mad at me and you had every right to be mad at me! And I did something to hurt you, so I should have stayed and tried to make it right, I should have at least stayed and been your punching bag. But instead I just walked away from everything. Because I couldn't deal with it, but Georgie and Maxie didn't deserve that, Uncle Mac didn't deserve that. And I missed being there for them, for you because I didn't know how to screw up," her hands flared out.

He stood still.

"Which is funny considering all the dumb ass things I've done in my life," she laughed at herself.

They stood in silence again.

"Five years Jason," she shook her head. "Their middle school years, most of high school. I came back to these totally different girls. Maxie was so grown up and angry and Georgie," Robin's eyes closed, "she was so much like me when I was younger."

She shook her head and another moment passed.

"I didn't even realize then I wasn't living my life. I'd known how to love and be loved and feel life and I forgot because it hurt and I'm standing here thinking of everything Georgie would have done with those five years and I'm thinking of all of the things she's never going to feel that I took for granted."

That was when he stepped in and wrapped his arms around her.

"All of those years I spent not living because I was going to die and Georgie," her body clenched in pain, "is dead. She's not coming back, she's not getting not getting a second chance, but she didn't even need one because she lived her life. She loved Dillon with everything she had, she fought for them and even when they couldn't work it out she still loved him and she wasn't afraid of trying again."

"I know," he continued to hold her tightly.

"There are so many things she's never going to get to do," she sobbed, "there are so many things I never got around to telling her."

"I know," he repeated as he turned her around to face him in his arms.

"Oh god Jason," she said looking up, "I'm sorry your sister-"

"I know," he repeated looking down. "I would give anything to change what happened. To take back the months we fought_. To just hug her one more time_."

"But you were there," she smiled at him, "she always knew the reason you didn't get along was because you loved her. You never left her."

"I did. That night."

"No one," she began to try to soothe him.

"I shouldn't have," he shook his head and looked straight ahead.

Her mouth opened.

He looked down, "I lost Michael." Robin opened her mouth, "You told AJ, but **I** lost Michael. I should have made sure Carly got on that plane. I should have never left him. I was so hurt; I didn't know how to…Survive it. I couldn't see anything…it all reminded me of what I lost. I think that's part of being human. We…try to protect ourselves. There are some pains you don't think you're going to survive, so you try to hide from them."

"I want her to be here to feel pain," Robin burrowed into his chest, sliding her arms past his jacket, around him.

"I know," he nodded.

"I can't understand how she just stopped," her head gently shook.

"I…" he swallowed hard. "I don't know."

"There's so much life and then it's just gone," she said in disbelief over that fact.

"I…I don't know," he admitted. "It doesn't feel like Emily's gone."

She smiled looking up at him, "Do you believe in the afterlife now Jason?"

"No, I…" he frowned looking down at those teasing eyes, "I just don't think they're gone."

She continued to tenderly smile up at him.

"I still…Everyone still remembers them. Everyone they cared for, loved…" he kept frowning, not being able to fully understand it himself, he just knew.

She nodded gently, "We live on in the people we've touched."

"Emily made me a better person," he nodded.

"She was a good sister," Robin agreed.

"You were a good cousin," he told her, "better than I was ever at being a brother."

"You were an amazing brother Jason, she adored you-"

"I know, but…I should have taken better care of her."

"We can't be there for everything," she shook her head before pressing it into the soft gray of Jason's sweater.

He just held her.

"Why are you out here?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Thinking, feeling sorry for myself, missing Georgie?"

"It's 27 degrees out," he pointed out the temperature his SUV had to told him shortly before he climbed out.

"I know," she laughed, "it's why I've moved into your jacket."

"Think you can miss her in the truck before you get pneumonia again?"

"Are you cold?" she looked up with a puzzled expression.

He said nothing.

She laughed, "You're cold and you want to go inside," she pulled away, leaving the warmth of Jason and his sweater.

"Fine I'm a little cold," he admitted.

She laughed and shook her head at him, "You can go home Jason, I'm going to be fine honestly…Eventually."

"I'm not going anywhere without you."

"My car's just up the road," she shook her head.

"I know I parked next to it."

She nodded and realized she was leaving the bridge.

-x-X-x-

"Leave it," he said as she reached for her keys.

"My car?" she gave him a disbelieving look.

"I'll come back for it."

"You're going to drive me home and come right back for my car?"

"I'm going to drive you to get food, make sure you eat, get you home safely before coming back for your car."

"I can eat on my own Jason," she was quick to remind.

He just kept looking at her.

She suddenly laughed, "You know me don't you?"

"Pretty well," he nodded. _They had been best friends, lovers, they had lived together. _

She laughed again and shook her head, "I can follow you."

"Roads are getting pretty slick."

"So it makes sense for you to drive me home, drive back for the car again, drive back into town…"

"I'll be fine."

"What about who-"

"They'll be fine."

"I'm not going to win am I?"

"No."

"Okay then," she went to hand over her keys.

"I'll drop them off at the hospital tomorrow, so I don't wake you."

"Okay," she nodded.

-x-X-x-

"Oh god," she groaned as she reached for another French Fry, scattered on an open bag on her living room floor. "I'm too old to eat fast food."

"Then why'd you have me stop for it?"

"Because it always seems like such a good idea at the time," she laughed at herself.

He smiled.

"God do you remember how much crap we at e in that train car?"

"I remember you showing up with vegetables," he responded.

She laughed, "Nutritional value was only slightly less hard to explain to you than safety."

"I understood it," he shrugged, "I just didn't care."

She tried to smile, but it quickly fell, "I was so selfish."

"For trying to keep me alive?"

"For a lot of things that happened in our relationship. I know I've apologized, but it just never seems enough," she slowly admitted. There was something about death…loss, that made you want to cleanse your soul.

"You weren't alone," he admitted.

"You just loved me. Cared for me. Protected me. You did everything you could to make me happy," she tenderly smiled at him, then smirked, "And I had twenty years of being taught better."

He looked away and didn't say anything for a moment and fear filled her soul that she had disclosed too much. He kept looking away as he began to speak, "I tried after I found Sonny and-" he closed his mouth, "I tried to see you a few times. Right after it happened, I was ready to tell you, you were right about Carly. You warned me and I didn't listen to you." He shook his head, "But I couldn't go back to us. I couldn't…Everything that had happened."

"I understand," she gently nodded.

"It wasn't that I was still angry, it was just that I couldn't forget it. You were part of something I wanted to forget. I remembered you with Michael, fighting with Carly, being Sonny's friend. And I…I didn't want to remember that."

"I understand," she simply shrugged her shoulders.

"I wanted everything to be like it used to because I missed you," his voice was low, gravelly, "I needed you."

"I'm sorry about that more than anything else Jason. Being the person you trusted and listened to…"

"It's in the past," he stopped her.

She shrugged, "I'm still sorry."

"I still forgive you," he returned.

-x-X-x-

"Why do you have a mobile hanging in your bookcase?" he eventually asked with a frown after staring at it repeatedly.

"Brenda," was her simple answer as she flipped apart what was left of her burger that had been taunting her for ages.

"That explains it," he didn't need any further answer.

Robin smirked, _some things would never change_. "She sent it after I told her I wanted to have a baby."

"You still going to?"

"Yea," Robin nodded, "I think so." She nodded again, "Once I figure out that whole second half of the equation. Patrick wants to get back together, but he can't make any guarantees if or ever he'll be ready to be a father."

"And you want to be a mother," Jason added.

"Yea," she nodded again. "Puts us in a bit of a bind."

"You'll figure it out."

She shrugged, "_This_ more than anything proves that life doesn't wait and if I want to be a mother."

"Then you should be a mother."

She nodded.

"When you-" he stopped speaking suddenly as raised a finger as he stood and Robin opened her mouth to speak, he gestured for her to hide as he walked to the door hearing someone at the lock.

"Jason!" she was screaming moments later as she realized her ex-boyfriend had been pinned to the floor by her other ex-boyfriend, rushing forward to stop Jason from hurting Patrick further.

Jason realized who he had on the floor once he got him on the floor and climbed away from him.

"Ugh," was Patrick's only response as tried to work out the sudden kink in his neck.

"Oh my god, Patrick are you okay?" Robin asked dropping to the ground next to him.

"What the hell were you thinking breaking into her apartment?" Jason didn't let the other man answer.

"Kelly gave me your spare key," he said sitting up with a hand on his neck.

"You didn't think of knocking?" Jason sternly questioned.

He looked up with a hand still on his neck, "Her car wasn't in the lot."

"Jason drove me home," Robin said grimacing with a hand on Patrick's neck as well, feeling responsible for what had happened.

"I couldn't find you, I was worried. I figured I'd just stay here until you turned up."

"I'm fine," she quickly responded. _Georgie was the one that wasn't. _

"I should be going," Jason interjected wanting to get out of the apartment.

"Okay," she nodded looking up at him, "thank you."

He nodded back.

"Explain to me," was questioned as the door shut, "how that guy's always around lately."

"Patrick don't-" she warned with a shake of her head as she stood.

-x-X-x-

"Your light was still on," he said as she opened the door.

"Cleaning seemed like a better option than sleeping," she sheepishly admitted as she offered him entrance into her apartment.

"You should sleep," he reminded.

"I'm off rotation for the rest of the week," she explained.

"You still need to sleep," he once more reminded.

She laughed, "Will do Dad."

"I'm just saying," he offered up before pulling her keys out of his pocket.

"Thanks," she smiled and took them.

"Patrick stay long?"

"Maybe ten minutes," she said walking to hang up her keys.

"He convince you to get back together?"

"Definitely not," she shook her head. "We want two different things. That's not going to change," she shook her head at the lost cause.

He frowned.

Her eyes went wide, her mouth opened, a hand raised up in defeat, "No Jason, you agreed with me an hour ago. Don't have a reason for me to-" she was so tired of the 'her and Patrick debate' constantly running through her head.

"No," he stopped her. "I think that you made the right choice."

"So it was a sympathy frown?" she disbelievingly asked.

"No, I…" he shook his head.

"Jason," her head tilted seeing him suddenly uncomfortable, "this is me. You can tell me anything."

"I've been thinking about Monica," he told her.

"What about Monica?" she tenderly questioned.

"After Emily…She's all alone now."

"She's not alone," Robin sympathetically smiled. "She still has you."

He looked straight ahead, "She blamed me for Emily."

Robin shook her head, "Jason, Anthony Zacchara's in the hospital." _He couldn't have been responsible for Georgie or the attempts on Carly or Maxie, there was a good chance he hadn't been the one to kill Emily. _

"Seeing me, I know it still hurts her. It reminds me her of everything she doesn't have anymore."

"She's your mother, she loves you."

"I know," he nodded, "but I…I can't be enough for her."

"You just need to love her Jason, that's all she's ever needed."

He shook his head, "I want to give her more than me. I want to fix it, but-" his head shook again.

"Jason time'll-"

"I…"

She frowned looking at him, having no idea what it was he couldn't say.

"What Spinelli called me for a few weeks ago," he couldn't say it. The King of Bluntness needed to beat around the bush.

"What?" her head tilted in total confusion, her eyes squinting trying to think. Her mouth opened, her eyes widen, "Oh my god Jason, do you want to give Monica a grandchild."

"I want to give her back a family," he corrected.

Her mouth stayed open for that, her lips moved as if words were going to emerge but never did. She closed her eyes and shook her head briefly before gathering enough clarity to speak, "Jason, just because you and Sam didn't work out doesn't mean that you're not going to fall in-"

"I don't have the type of life to have children."

"You love kids," she once more shook her head, but now in horror and pain.

"I won't risk a child's life for my happiness."

"I," she shook a hand at him. She closed her eyes once more, shook her head before silently opening them and walking over to the couch, dropping onto it.

"Robin, I know it's asking a lot. But I…I can't be a father, but she's been a good mother," his head gently bounced, "she deserves to be a grandmother."

"She has Michael," Robin offered.

Jason kept looking at her.

"Carly," Robin took in a deep breath, "right."

He sat down in an arm chair, looking straight ahead, not at Robin, "Jason and Keesha would have had children?"

"Yea," Robin nodded, "they both loved kids."

"You and I…When you pictured us together, did you see us with kids?"

She looked away to the corner of her ceiling with tears in her eyes, "Yea."

"You understand them, you understand her." He shook his head and stood, "I understand if it's asking too much."

She shook her head at him, "Jason you just offered me more than I was dreaming for."

"You wanted a baby; I'm asking you to take care of the Quartermaines."

"You're offering me a baby with a grandmother and a great-grandfather."

He frowned over the mention of Edward, "I don't think he should-"

"You can't expect Edward not to find out," Robin shook her head at him.

"Edward, he-" he shook his head again, "he'd want to brand the baby with a giant Q."

She laughed at him.

He laughed at himself.

She smiled at him now that the tension was broken, "He loves you."

"He loves who I used to be."

"Which is why he goes a little crazy at times," she continued. "If you didn't want anyone to know Jason, he wouldn't…If it meant keeping his great grandchild safe, he wouldn't say anything."

"Does that mean you-"

"It means think about it Jason. If you're serious, after the pain of Emily…" she shook her head. "If you are then…"

"I'm not going to change my mind."

She nodded looking up at him with large brown eyes, "Then okay."

"I'll find a place," he turned.

"Okay," she nodded back knowing the hospital definitely wasn't the place to keep a secret, still stunned though sitting on her couch.

"Robin," he said as he started to open the front door.

"Huh?" she looked over.

"When it was us three: you, me and Michael," he nodded, "I was happy."

"Me too," she nodded back.

"I think that's why I always wanted to be a father again. I wanted to feel that again." _That peace he felt holding Jake. _

"It was a good feeling," she wistfully remembered.

"Its how I know you'll be a good mother," he nodded again.

"Despite-"

He shook his head at her, "I'm sorry."

"What?" she was expecting him to change his mind. To remember what she did, how she'd hurt the little boy she'd loved.

"You always apologize for what you did. I'm sorry for not trying to forgive you. I loved you and you were just trying to do what you thought was best for Michael, but I…I shouldn't have given up on us."

"Jason," she stood.

"I'll call you," he nodded and walked out the door.

* * *

Thanks for reading!! 


	7. An Unbelievable Life

AN: Sorry, finals then the bliss of break and doing nothing, then broken keyboard (missing an e) and well GH being GH, I mean UGH! Of course, the e will once more be an issue when I get around to replacing the keyboard and half to learn how to retype again. :-P

* * *

**_The Path to_... **

**An Unbelievable Life**

Jason's Penthouse-

He watched as she flipped a handful of dark brown hair over her head as she spoke, not quite looking at him with her feet up on the coffee table as she sat on the couch looking straight ahead, only occasionally glancing to him as he sat in an arm chair to her side. A puff of laughter left her lips as she shook her head following that hair flip, not the kind of laugh that was at all funny, heartbroken, sarcastic, maybe it would be funny if it weren't about her, if everything that had happened had simply been a list, its unbelievable nature, would have had to cause a chuckle. 

"I mean, it's not that I don't want it," another slight head shake, "maybe that's still the one thing I want more than anything, a family, my own, not one someone took me into because they felt sorry for me." Her face scrunched with a slight frown, "But I can't have it. I really did try, I tried for so long. Every time, I was so sure that was going to be it. But I…" her head shook. "I can't try anymore. I don't want to try anymore. I'm sick of feeling guilty for not being the person they want me to be.I can't be her. I can't try anymore," her voice firm. "I can't have that life." Her head shook slightly again as she ended her admission, they sat in silence for a moment before she turned her head to him for the first time since her confession had begun. 

Brown into blue.Self-disclosing brown, he couldn't remember the last time she had been able to hide anything from him. 

The answer was clear for the first time in a long time, it was simple and it had been forming in his head for days, at first almost ridiculous, like her laugh a minute ago, until it became the only option. "Let's get married."

No reaction showed in those expressive eyes, nor movement in those perfectly manicured brows. She simply stared for a moment before faintly shaking her head in confusion. 

"It would be easiest on everyone," he frowned slightly for that, "it would be best for everyone."

Brows started to come together and confusion was fully evident as she looked at him. "Married?" she repeated the word as if she had misheard it. 

"Yea," he curtly nodded as if talking about a commonplace event and not vows of forever. 

"You and me?" she gestured between them. 

"Did you think I was asking the couch?" he replied without humor.

"Married," she repeated the word. 

"Married," he repeated it back. 

"Again?" she frowned a bit.

"Again," he nodded. 

"Us?"

"Brenda," he snapped to move her past the basic concept. 

She frowned as she looked at him. 

"Elizabeth and I can't be together-"

She rolled her eyes, "And you don't trust me to not go after Sonny or Jax."

_He didn't, though he didn't trust them to not go after her, more._"You said you were sick of feeling guilty."

_She was. _She shook her head, "This didn't work last time."

"Last time you wanted a future with Jax," he easily responded.

Her eyes fell slightly, her mouth opened, but her head gently bobbed before she could find the words to speak, "I wanted to be the girl, who wanted a future with Jax." 

"I don't know why Brenda, but this works, we can't stand each other half of the time, but it works."

She glared slightly at him.

"You could be near everyone without worrying about breaking up someone's marriage."

She continued to glare.Then scoffed, along with an eye roll and a hair flip, "That worked out so well last time."

"We didn't want it to work last time," was his honest answer. 

"You loved Courtney," she whispered. 

"I did," his voice lowered as well. 

She frowned, "And Robin and Sam and Liz."

He nodded. 

"Love sucks," she nodded with a frown. Her eyes became wistful and she glanced away, "When all the dreams fall apart. What everyone else can seem to have but you."

She turned back to him and stared for a moment. 

'What?" he questioned when she never spoke. 

"I loved Luis," she admitted for the first time. 

He stared blankly at her.

"I chose not to come back," her words continued to be low as she finally shared her secret. 

"You thought you were-"

She shook her head, "I didn't think I was sick at the start, I didn't know, I didn't want to know. I let everyone think I did, I don't know why, but Luis did too. He didn't out me, if Jax had-" she shook her head and closed her eyes. "Probably would have saved us a lot of trouble, if he knew I left him twice, he would have never given me another chance."

They held each other's gaze for another moment.

"I thought I could be that girl again, the person I was before the accident, I wanted to be her again," Brenda's past desperation was voiced. "I wanted to be able to fix it, be the person I had been. I can't. All of the stuff that I had wanted, the person I wanted to be," she shook her head, "it's gone."

"A lot happened," he shrugged. 

She smiled at him, "Yea," she nodded. The first person to get the person she was now and not expect it to change back. 

"So what do you say?"

She laughed at him, "They're never going to believe it."

"As long as we do, we should be fine."

She continued to look at him with a smirk.

"It that a yes?" He questioned.

"Why not," she smiled at him.

* * *

**Another AN:**

So I don't know, I have a dozen thoughts about how to introduce Brenda back into the storyline, this is one of them, that I think I can incorporate other ideas into, but I don't know. 

If I do continue this, it'll be partially continuing with the events following this and flashing back (the whole handful of days this takes place in the future) dealing with Brenda's fame and issues, how annoying Liz is, (Seriously I can't stand her…oh and why were Jason's hands seemingly fine today? No giant white gauze-ness…I thought those suckers where barely hanging on), Jason's injury and the Q's. 

I was going to wait and post this along with another future Brazen fic, but those lack of bandages and Jason's total adorableness while talking to Carly…:-D Seriously, Carly and Jason in same scenes, LW FANTASTIC actress, she makes scenes with everyone enjoyable (minus Sonny of course :-P), how hard is it to put SB with an actress that doesn't make me want to throw my remote at the tv?

_Ummm so if you have comments about anything I've just written (you know like totally agreeing, Sonny is an annoying ass who needs to be locked up) feel free to speak._


	8. Discovering Who You Become

AN1: Liz hater vid on YouTube has inspired me to get off my ass about writing this.

AN2(months later): Man I haven't been able to watch Jason on screen in months, he has never sucked as much as he has with Liason.

Started writing this right after the whole Diego bridge thing went down, so Michael was never shot. The rest you'll figure out as you go.

* * *

_The Path to…_

**Discovering Who You Become**

"Good morning Mr. Quartermaine," a chipper nurse's voice greeted him.

"Morgan," he mumbled through the blur of his drowsiness, used to occasionally being greeted as such by a new nurse who knew he was Monica's son. Or maybe it was that, he had once been her son, he couldn't blame her, after Emily, for hating him.

"Morgan," she repeated back to him, "your wife will be relieved you've finally decided to rejoin us, she went home to check on your boys and shower."

_Liz, _he happily thought, then scolded himself for having it, he should correct her, he would in a second, he just needed to close his eyes for a second…

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Jason," was the soft whisper with a hand placed on his arm.

He tried to burrow under the pillow.

"Hey Jase," was next in a forceful tone and a shove against his shoulder.

He was surprisingly achy. He couldn't quite remember why though.

"Took you long enough," Brenda was smirking over him, "I was beginning to think you were never waking up."

"Don't you know it's rude to wake someone up," he grumbled with their normal bickering flare.

"Rudder to leave everyone worrying about you for over half a day, you've slept long enough."

He frowned trying to remember.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she always _eventually_ remembered to.

"Tired," he admitted and was about to question why that was as she stood. "Wow," was all he could say as a large belly came into view.

She smirked, "Good to know your witty personality is still intact."

"What happened?"

She frowned briefly, but replaced it with a smile almost immediately, "Really hope you're not talking about this," she pointed at her belly, "because-"

"Brenda," he softly silenced her, appreciating on one level her waiting to spare him whatever pain was awaiting him, but whatever it was he needed to know.

"Jason," her voice lost all false enthusiasm as she shook her head.

"Just tell me," he calmly ordered.

Her eyes connected with his.

"Dr. Smith's just checked in, he said he should be here in a half hour."

She turned back, her eyes still lost in pain, to the nurse who had interrupted them, "Thank you," she nodded."

The nurse smiled, "Anything I can get for you Mr. Qua-" she paused for a second and her smile grew brighter, "Morgan?"

He could see out of the corner of his eye, Brenda's perturbed expression. Her eyes remained trained on the nurse as he responded with a quick, "No thank you."

She turned slowly to him as the nurse walked out of the room, still with the unsure expression. He wondered if she thought he'd throw a fit as he used to when being labeled a Quartermaine.

"What's wrong?"

"That nurse-" her finger pointed at the door as she remained studying him.

"She must know Monica," he explained.

"Mo-" she halfway nodded with the stunned expression.

"It's alright, it happens every once in awhile."

She nodded again, "I need to go make some calls," she said with an air of distance.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he suspiciously viewed her stomach.

A hand dropped down, almost stunned for that too, as if she'd forgotten her own condition. "Yea, no," she shook her head, "I just need-" she shook her head, "I'll be back."

He wanted to yell out after her, 'What happened?' but a quiet Brenda scared him more than any uncertainness of what had happened twelve hours ago.

He let his head slacken against the pillows seconds after her departure and closed his eyes hopeful someone would come with answers soon enough, hopeful that person would be Liz.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Hey man, you up?"

His eyes sprung open for that, for that voice, praying it wouldn't be the person associated with that tone, clueless as to how it could be that person. It was for naught.

Shorter by an inch with nearly every other characteristic the same as his on paper.

Biological half-brother, most in common physically, yet the one with whom there had never been any connection aside from pity and disgust.

Standing before him with his arm in a sling, a scrape on the side of his face along with bruising, navy sweatpants, gray zip up hoodie, not at all the suit he had been buried in.

"Jase?" the question tinged with worry.

_How he ended up in the hospital bed, much clearer upon seeing AJ. _

"Jason?" he repeated with his head tilted to the side.

"How are you not dead?" he wished he had tested out the extent of his injuries.

Another confused look, a look of chagrin, "I gotta admit, I did think that rock," he touched the abrasions on the side of his face, "was going to do me in. I didn't think you saw that."

Jason frowned trying to remember.

"How are you feeling?" AJ took another step closer, relieved that Jason had finally reacted. "Where's Brenda? I would have thought she beat us here."

_He was not about to be distracted. _Why couldn't he remember how AJ wasn't dead? How much time had he lost? _Paralyzed then murdered. How could he come back from that? _"You're dead," _you couldn't come back from that, everything he had ever known told him that. _

AJ frowned, "Jase," he looked at his brother.

"Stop calling me that."

"What?" completely perplexed at this point, he expected Jason to be upset after last night, but lashing out…

"Jase, like we're friends or something, answer me now, why are you still alive?"

His head shook in confusion and annoyance, "What the hell are you talking about Jason?" His head shook again, "Friends? We're brothers."

"WE ARE NOT BROTHERS," his voice firm, just slightly below a yell that would bring the whole hospital staff running.

"What the hell," AJ's eyes shot directly to Jason's.

"I was there when you broke your back, Michael was there when Thomas killed you."

AJ's mouth opened, his face paled, Jason have expected him to disappear into a ghost and fade into the background as this nightmare ended, a replay of what it had been to wake up that first time with someone like him as a brother.

"Who the hell did you pay off?" Jason screamed, filled with a fury he had been waiting to unleash for years, but AJ's death had robbed him of.

Horror, shock as AJ shook his head. "No," he shook his head more, his eyes closed, "not again, this can't be…"

"AJ!" he had no time for his games, he needed answers and he needed them now.

Blue eyes opened in continued dismay.

"ANSWER ME!"

"I came home when you got your memory back, four years ago."

Jason's mouth opened to refute the liar's claims as he remembered Brenda's expression as the nurse switched from Quartermaine to Morgan.

"Oh god," AJ looked like he was going to be sick.

Jason waited to wake up.

The door opened slowly, Jason's mouth fell further to the floor. Sweet brown eyes, a tender smile; the sister he had failed. "Oh god Jason," tears welled up in the eyes he missed so desperately, he wanted to wake up now, he couldn't bear to dream of her and then awake to her being gone again. She rushed in past AJ and threw two winter jackets onto the chair. "I was so scared I'd never see you again," she cried as her body covered her brother's and he felt himself, despite himself, clutching her to him, trying to take in a deep breath of her, trying to seal in forever what she felt like alive, instead of that unnatural stillness, the limpness of her body. He clutched her even tighter.

"I was so scared, so scared we'd never have this again."

_So this was it, this was death. Life did go on after the body. Brenda…Diego must have found her, Brenda's betrayal of his family, probably a far greater sin than Emily's relation to him. He ached over that. Emily though, Emily made up for AJ. _

"I'm sorry," he cried clutching her, "I'm so sorry."

"No," she pulled back, boring brown eyes into blue, both red and filled with tears. "This was not your fault. We had no idea-"

"I should have never left you alone," he cut her off.

"Oh god," the groan from the figure that had collapsed upon the jackets on the chair caused Emily to tilt slightly towards it as she stared at her other brother in confusion.

"What are you talking about Jason?"

AJ spoke first, "He doesn't…Oh god, he…Ask him his name Em."

"What's he talking about Jase?"

"I-"

"He doesn't remember getting his memory back, he doesn't remember being our brother!" AJ once more cut him off.

"You what?" her head tilted as she looked at him in confusion. "No," she shook her head, "what did the doctor say?"

"He hasn't come in yet," Jason whispered in defeat, _he had awoken the wrong person again, _he had failed her again, wasn't the brother she deserved, wanted.

The door swung open quickly, Brenda's still large eyes viewing the scene before her, knowing that simple name had meant everything she feared it did.

"Bren, he-" AJ said bounding to his feet.

"I know," she nodded at Jason, "Kevin's on his way. Everything will be fine," she nodded and reassured herself. "The kids are outside, I need you to tell them you're fine and everything's going to be fine, they're already a mess, if they don't see you-"

"Hey wait you two," Alice's booming voice could be heard from behind Brenda and Brenda stepped back just in time to allow to zooming figures past her.

They moved in a blur, two figures under four feet, a sandy blonde and a light brown both with short hair.

"Daddy!" they cried nearly in unison and they flung themselves at him for hugs, which he readily bestowed upon them, unable to deny them, despite his confusion.

"See guys," Brenda said walking towards them with a bright smile, her earlier fear nearly completely hidden, he turned to see AJ and Emily had also pasted on fake smiles and dried their eyes, "I told you he was fine."

They viewed her warily and turned back to him to study him, giving him a chance to study them, flipping between their features. They looked like brothers, like he and AJ did. Their features slightly different, the sandy blonde looked upon him with blue eyes versus his brother's hazel.

"I'm fine," he promised them.

"Promise?" the blonde questioned.

"Yea," he nodded.

The brown headed boy, regarded AJ with a frown and Jason decided he liked him, "That looks like it hurts." He pointed at the bruise and scrape alongside AJ's face.

"Just a little Gar," AJ smiled at his nephew, "you know what would make it feel better?"

"Oooh I know the answer that one," Emily teased.

"We're too old for kisses," the blonde headed boy exclaimed with a violent shake of his head as Jason wondered if that truly was Jake. _If so where was Elizabeth?_

"You're never too old for kisses," AJ leaned down and tickled his nephew with one hand. "Come on," he tilted his injured cheek towards him after a few squeals.

The young boy looked desperately towards Emily, who smiled at him, "He's not going to let you go till you give in."

He gave an exacerbated sigh and kissed his uncle's cheek.

"Next up," he leaned across the bed to his more complacent nephew. _Gar, _Jason tried out the name in his head as another kiss was bestowed. "Now I don't suppose I can talk Mommy into-" he swaggered towards Brenda.

"In your dreams," she laughed at him.

"Gotta try," he chuckled and walked away.

"You boys are probably crushing your father," Alice said chastising the boys as she walked towards the bed clutching their neglected winter coats.

_Mommy. _That name rolled around Jason's head, nearly blocking everything else out. _Mommy. _Brenda was Mommy. Their Mommy. He was their…

"Jacob, Garrett," she nodded at them.

_Jake…_Jason studied the boy again and then realized they were both pleading with them.

"Hey guys," Brenda said stepping in as she saw Jason's face, "Alice is going to take you over to Pop's."

"We're s'posed to call him Great-Grandfather," Jake dutifully informed Brenda. _Jason really didn't like the sound of that._

She rolled her eyes, "And you're supposed to call me Her Royal Highness, Queen of all that is good and wonderful and that has yet to happen," she smirked at the young boy.

"I don't wanna leave Daddy," the youngest boy said suddenly clingy after the tensions of the last day, he burrowed in next to his father and wrapped his arm as best he could across Jason's chest, the other trying to find it's way in past the mattress supporting Jason's back.

Jason wrapped his arms around the boy, he didn't remember knowing, _he wanted to know him though. _It wasn't familiar, but the action felt right. "I'm okay," he reassured the boy.

"When are you coming home?" the scared voice question.

He slipped into the role, the confident father that had been with the boys for years, instead of the stranger that only knew one of the boys as an infant, "I don't know. The doctor needs to check me out, so you need to go with Alice for awhile."

"Why?" Jake questioned. "You stay with us for Dr. Bev."

"And how much do you hate having to go see Dr. Bev?" Brenda poked his side.

"We can wait," the eldest boy adamantly decided for the pair and crossed his arms ready to settle in for the fight.

"Hey how about you go to Pop's and you can help Cook make Daddy some lunch and maybe a few cookies for the rest of us?" Emily said with a reassuring smile.

"Yea," AJ nodded with all of his normal cockiness, "you know there is someone else injured in the room and he could really go for some crazy chocolate cookie, maybe with M&M's or Hershey Kisses in them."

The littlest one lifted his head a bit for that one.

"I am kind of hungry," Jason urged his sons on.

"It's okay Jake," Brenda once more promised her stepson as he continued to warily view them.

"I'm fine," Jason as well promised.

"Lunch?" he questioned.

"Lunch," Jason promised.

"Yea come on guys, we need to clear out so the good doc can come in and fix your dad up," AJ nodded at his nephews as he once more approached the bed. "Now I've only got one arm so who wants a ride down to the car."

Garrett immediately jumped up, catching Jason's ribs in the process.

"Oooh careful," Brenda winced along with the rest of the room over the action and Jason decided he probably wasn't in any shape to take out AJ at the moment.

"Geez man," AJ said scooping the young boy who had bounded across his father in an attempt to beat out his brother, up into his arms, "we don't step on you. Kiss your parents goodbye," he shifted the boy with a swinging ease showing he was used to manhandling the boy.

"Bye Dad," the boy smiled as he steadied himself on the bed before kissing his dad.

"And Mom," AJ said as he tried to swing the boy up again.

Emily chuckled as she helped to verticize her nephew.

"Bye sweetie," she touched her son's cheek.

"Bye Mom."

"You too Bud," Emily said with a hand on her nephew's back.

"Fine," he pouted at Brenda, "bye."

"Give your dad a kiss," she gently ordered.

He turned, "Bye Dad."

"Bye Jake."

Blue eyes stared for a moment, "Lunch?"

"I promise."

"K," he nodded, "lunch," he repeated as he leaned in for a kiss. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Jason responded softly as he felt his heart rise up to his throat.

"I love you too MB," he said throwing himself at Brenda, wrapping himself around her as best he could.

"I love you too baby," she said pulling him closer and kissing the top of his head.

He smiled and pulled back, placing a hand on her stomach where he's just been kicked from, "You too Tig."

"Don't forget Roo!" Garrett called out as he swung in his uncle's grasp.

"Where's Roo?" He looked up brightly at Brenda, the earlier panic forgotten.

"I think over here," she said moving his hand across her belly.

"Love you too Roo."

"If you love them," Brenda smiled, "you'd hurry up on that cookie making."

_Them. Plural meaning two. _Jason wasn't feeling so good.

"K," he leaned in quickly, "love you he repeated."

"I'll walk with you guys," Emily said scooping up the coats she had tossed on the armchair.

"AJ do you want to," Brenda said pushing off the bed she was half sitting, half leaning on.

"Go with the boys, I figured," he nodded.

"Thanks," she apologetically smiled.

He shook his head, "See you later."

"Come along young man," Alice said extending her hand to the young boy remaining on the bed, shifting their coats to her other hand.

"I wanna jump," he sighed annoyed with her for stopping him.

"I don't think so, there has been enough injury in this family to last us some time."

"But Al-"

She cut off his whining by quickly tossing him under her arm, just as AJ did Garrett. "Feel better Jason," she nodded at him.

"Alice, I can walk," the little boy loudly sighed as he was carted out of the room, struggling but failing to get her to give.

"I'm gonna," Emily said lifting hers and AJ's coats and nodding.

"We'll be here," Brenda nodded back.

"I'm not going to wake up from this am I?" he questioned after a moment of silence once the door had shut leaving them alone again.

"Fraid not Jase."

**_TBC..._**

* * *

AN3: So I'm not a big fan of slang, not being used in my notes or in the dialogue, but what works better than verticize. :-P Kinda cocky, kinda lazy, kinda great to describe an AJ movement.

AN4: Real sorry if that was confusing. Hopefully that will get cleared up with the next chapter, but it was meant to be kinda confusing because Jason is MASSIVELY confused (and Garrett's name, yes it was meant to be like Barrett :-P).

AN5: Seriously I can't stand my writing style at the moment, but I hate all the past stuff too and others don't, so if it sucked I'm sorry, I truly can't tell. :-P


	9. Salvation

Ummm I think there may a very MINOR spoiler ahead, but well...Maybe wait to read till mid-next week, if ya really care. :-P

Hmm yea let's go AU, shall we? Because while you ALL know that I'll take ANYONE with Jason as long as it isn't Liz, I mean seriously, truly nails on chalkboard, I'd probably even sit through a Jason/Sonny scene before watching them, Brazen is TOTALLY preferable to Jason and Claudia (Umm yea okay I did like Carly and Jason, but….whatever I love VM waaaay more than SB).

So the whole spoiler thing where Lulu offs Logan (seriously, they need to turn her catatonic until they can return her to the character that entertained me) and Claudia and Jason are suspects….You know what they're setting up or hinting at setting up. :-( (still though WAAAY better than Liz), but what if Jason had a different alibi for the night?? So wherever they have Jason at the moment forget it…He's in a MUCH different (not to mention better) place. :-P

* * *

_The Path to…_

**Salvation**

He was as he always was when they brought him in. Stoic. As was normally the case when they brought him in, he could offer an alibi, they rarely brought him in for something he had actually committed. However it wasn't an alibi he was comfortable using.

_"You know Jason, this could go a lot faster if you just told me where you are, unless you..." Diane's eyebrows wiggled as she leaned on the interrogation table. _

_"I did not kill Logan Hayes," he repeated to her. _

_"But you were otherwise, indisposed??" a knowing look this time. _

_He remained silent._

_"In flagrante perhaps?"_

_His turn to lift his eyes up to her and give her a look, one in which he hoped reminded her she was his employee. _

_Like normal, it didn't. "A certain Florence Nightingale?"_

_"I was not with Liz."_

_"I'm just saying," she stood straight, " if you were," she nodded. She leaned in, "I'm sure we could bend it so no one would get the-"_

_"I was not with Liz," he repeated firmly. _

_Her eyes narrowed on him and not for the first time in their professional relationship did she make him feel uncomfortable, she scrutinized more so than any lawyer before her, almost as much as Carly did sometimes. "But you were with someone," she nodded mostly to herself, she sighed as she stood, she smirked, "Sam of course, Alexis will probably find a dozen trumped up charges once she realizes you're-"_

_"Sam and I aren't together anymore," he snapped. _

_Her mouth opened again, about to propose another partner._

_"Just get me out of here, isn't that what I pay you to do?"_

_"Fine," she huffed, "no need to get snippy about it. Just trying to do my job. Make it more difficult, you always do," she shrugged._

They'd brought Claudia in a half hour ago and he was sure she was ready to spin some story about the two of them, she'd tried to convey it as she passed him, but they'd hustled her off to the interrogation room too quickly for her to speak and left him chained to a chair, apparently they preferred having him on display rather than locked up in a cell. Annoying, but he was used to it and with the way his week was going, it made perfect sense. They'd keep him for 24 hours without a doubt, and that meant he had 21 to go.

He was staring straight ahead as she walked into the station. A belted floral dress that reminded him of her room, her hair high in a ponytail, sunglasses perched atop her head. He would have let out a chuckle, if he wasn't so annoyed she was getting involved in this.

She stopped and rolled her eyes as she noticed him looking at her, "You did this on purpose," she told him as she strode forward.

"You shouldn't have come," he quickly countered.

"And leave you to rot in jail?" her head tilted to the side.

"I didn't do it, they can't hold me."

She let out a quick laugh, "That's the only time they do hold people," her head swung around the room, plenty had stopped to look at her with their mouths open at her unexpected arrival, there had been plenty of bets of how Morgan would get off this time, but she hadn't been on anyone's list.

"Okay Jason I think," Diane stopped abruptly as she came upon them. She stared; then she blinked, "You're Brenda Barrett."

"That would be me," she turned to Diane.

"Oh my," Diane's gaze quickly went between the two of them, "this I must say, I did not expect," her pointed lifted up then quickly returned to a fist against her mouth.

"And you are?" Brenda's voice was tinged with attitude; the last place she wanted to be was the PCPD.

"Diane Miller, my attorney," he nodded.

"How's that going?" she turned to him with a smirk, ready to let him rot or at least tease him with the thought.

"It would go a lot better if your former husband would share his whereabouts for 2 nights ago."

"Been uncooperative?" she quickly tilted her head at Diane as she continued to stare down Jason.

"As normal," she sighed and rolled her eyes, he certainly did make her earn her salary. "I don't suppose you can help with that?"

She smirked again, "I was just told I shouldn't be here."

"Ignore him; I have a date I'd rather not miss."

"Almost as good of a reason as pissing you off," she smiled before she turned to Diane, lifting her bag.

"Oh my god," Diane exclaimed forgetting she was trying to get her boss off for murder, again. "Yves Saint Laurent's Rive Gauche Tote?" she yanked at the large black crocodile purse Brenda had just lifted.

"A little last season," she said lifting her arm to aid Diane's examination, "but I was in a rush when I packed."

"Season, shmeason, it's still beautiful," she stroked it longingly.

"I'll tell you what," Brenda smiled brightly, "you get him out in a half hour, it's yours."

Her eyes fell dejected, but her hands didn't release the bag. "He won't tell me where he was, I may be good, but I can't find a killer in a half hour."

"Hmmm," Brenda said pulling back the bag, which Diane let go of with a whimper, she pouted along with Diane, as Diane slowly was able to look at her and not the bag. "Don't suppose," she looked inside of her bag and started to pull something out, "these could help."

Black vhs tapes emerged.

"Are those?"

"Surveillance tapes that put Jason 2 hours away in Rochester?"

"Ah," she near sung, "I thought this one had ruined another perfect day, but instead Yves Saint Laurent, my Max and showing Alexis up," she giddily almost bounced as she snatched the tapes from Brenda's hand.

"It gets better," Brenda smiled, she pulled out a scrap of paper, "numbers of all the hotel employees who saw us repeatedly during the hours of 6pm and noon."

Diane stopped and frowned at Jason, "You called her," hips twitched to give her a cocky stance as she menacingly stared at Jason, "you acted completely uncooperative and made me lose a beautiful afternoon in which I could have actually been doing something productive and all along you knew she was coming," she gestured to Brenda with the tapes.

"Oh," Brenda shook her head, "he didn't know I was coming."

"You just happened to show up with numerous articles that provide his alibi?" she turned disbelieving.

Brenda's eyes fluttered up as her head gently shook, realizing just how ridiculous that was. "You get good at some things after awhile."

* * *

**TBC (very soon, but sleepy time now :-P)**

So any comments?

(will just be a short little 'Brenda returns story' not to be continued outside of the PCPD)

**Thanks for reading!!**

(man and will someone tell me what's going wrong with Slippery Slope, I just cannot seem to recapture, whatever it was that story had going for it).


	10. The End

Yes I'm aware Part 8 is still incomplete. I develop too many issues with GH I have issues writing. Currently I have moved onto despising Jason because this Liz crap is STILL going on. Seriously, I've been punished enough they can stop. I don't even watch (defense mechanism when it gets really bad so I can still write), but I'm still pissed off because I read the damn thread topics on the message board. Someone needs to bitch slap RH again, it was the only time I got pleasure out of seeing her on screen.

Thanks for reading and as always I'm sorry if you can't stand it. Hope that's not the case.

* * *

_The Path to…_

** The End**

It was a mundane day, quite unlike the many extraordinary days he had lived.

His life had begun in a way most ended, looking into the eyes of angel.

He had been given a set of strangers that deemed themselves his family, a concept he truly didn't understand until it was to late, he had tried, but it hadn't been until he had lost Alan that he realized what exactly it meant to be part of a family.

He had fallen in love. Several times, but each time, it gave him something different, each time it happened it further taught him just how impossible it was.

He watched it walk away and he watched it return.

He broke a woman's heart in the middle of a church. He watched as the words he said, caused by the advice he had dispensed drove her into insanity. Then he saved her life.

He became a father. Nearly had his son ripped out his arms forever by those who called themselves his family.

He was betrayed.

He fell in love again, completely unexpectedly and he watched as a betrayal was validated and his heart was broken.

He carried off a dead woman in the rain, then he married her.

He stood trial several times, arrested many more, called in for questioning more times then he could remember.

Fell in love with someone logic would dictate he should have loved only as a sister. He watched as the life he lived almost destroyed her.

His heart was broken again.

He slowly fell in love with a mother and child. He learned how deeply you could love someone you had never met. He had his heart broken worse than it ever had been before, compounded by watching her heart break as well.

He watched yet another walk away from him.

He almost lost the child he thought of as a son and nearly took out the person most considered his brother to get him back. Only to actually lose him in reality and to hate himself for what he allowed to happen. Telling Robin the truth, taking him back from the Quartermaines, not getting on the plane with him, even for chasing after AJ. Anything would have been better than the fate he had been dealt.

He had felt his love go slacken in his arms, taking a bullet mean for him. He tried and failed to walk away from her. He had his heart ripped out once more, he knew this time…he had pushed her to it.

He had another son. He fell in love again. He He

He held his sister's lifeless body as a madmen hunted them on an island in the middle of a storm.

He had scaled buildings, wrecked train cars, been on the run, in explosions, shot, hunted by mad men.

Yet on the day it happened, none of those things had.

Mundane, ordinary, commonplace.

The sun hadn't been shining brightly. Nor had rain pounded down.

Karpov and the Zaccharas still had to be dealt with, but not that day.

He got on his bike and he rode down to the city to see Michael. He pushed back the lock of dark red hair that had fallen across his forehead; it only seemed to emphasize just how unnaturally pale he was, no sun for the once active boy, no flush of excitement, just alabaster skin. Carly had told him how his longer hair reminded her of when he was still her Mr. Man. All it did for Jason was remind him of who Michael wasn't anymore.

Still. Just as he always did, he talked to the boy who had been his son, his nephew. Told him of the goings on in Port Charles, filled him in on his favorite sports teams. Once that was accomplished he would pick up a travel book and read to him as he had many years ago. When he could, he would supply the details of what he had seen firsthand, on that wasted year that he had lost Michael because of.

Eventually he got back onto his bike on that slightly overcast day. It started to drizzle so he pulled off into a diner. Ate a burger he barely tasted as he watched a young family out of the corner of his eye. He ached for his past and a future he would never have. Robin and Michael. Carly and Michael. Courtney and a baby gift that would never see a baby. A daughter with Sam. Jake and Elizabeth.

So he left the diner only halfway through his burger as soon as the rain stopped, hoping it would hold off starting again until he reached home. It didn't, it started again. A slightly heavier drizzle in the middle of a long empty stretch of road. Maybe if he'd been prepared for the weather…A slight skid that sent him off the road, he was too distracted with his life to pay as much attention to the road as he should have been. His bike took on a few scratches as did his helmet, which he'd have to toss in the garbage once he got home.

It cleared his mind though, focused him in on one thought. Another chance. Elizabeth, their son.

She said his name in surprise as she opened her door to him.

He told her he loved her. They were the only words he could think of. He had no solutions for everything that was keeping them apart, but it didn't change the fact that he needed her and everything she could give him, even if he had nothing to offer in return.

She returned the vow.

He followed her upstairs, her gentle smile believing all would be okay; somehow it would all be okay. Jason Morgan no longer believed that, the world had taught him so too many times to even contemplate such a miracle.

It was desperate as everything he wanted was within his reach. He didn't know what tomorrow would hold, but he was sure he wouldn't like it.

His eyes finally closed as he settled into a peaceful slumber after watching her blue eyes slowly disappear under her heavy lids, a smile still on her face and their son in the next room.

He ended as he began, in a bed looking into the eyes of an angel.

* * *

**Notes:**

Ummm I think I need to kill Jason off a few times. Don't mind me while I get it out of my system so I can go back to writing everything else. :-P

Do NOT think Liz is an angel.

And the 'love as a sister' was a reference to Courtney, who technically was his sister in law.

It is going to be continued. This is actually just the start of a little short that I had in my mind for months that got expanded because you know I…well, me annoyed with dumb writers.


	11. The End Pt2

AN: When you get to the cell phone part, let's assume it's set to just the time, not the date when you flip it open.

* * *

_The Path to…_

**Death…Devastation…**

He woke up with a feeling of contentment.

It quickly left.

The hand resting on his chest, just below his neck, was not the perfect mocha that he loved. The color he often found himself duplicating on long nights at the PCU Library, slowly adding a stream of cream until he found her perfect shade, giving him just a moment with her instead of his text books.

He couldn't think as his stomach rose up to his throat. He wasn't in his room. He wasn't anywhere in the mansion and he was pretty damn sure he wasn't wearing any clothing. He couldn't remember what happened, but he didn't need to be a rocket scientist to piece it together. He also knew an act he couldn't remember would destroy the one thing he wanted more than anything, a future with Keesha.

He slid slowly away from the stranger, who he could now see had brown hair to go with her fair skin. She curled into his pillow as she lost her human one.

He tried to piece together the night as he quickly slid into what he assumed was his clothing, though when he had changed eluded him. The jacket that he scooped up definitely wasn't his, but wasn't about to go out in December without one, he'd fulfilled his quota of stupid acts for his life with this one.

No, he thought as he hustled out of the room, repressing a groan as he realized he was in a family house. Sex with a stranger while her family slept in the nearby rooms, he had seen AJ get drunk enough to lose all common sense, it was why he avoided it, but that…

He didn't pause to look at anything, he only saw the door, the shining beacon of his freedom. Only paying enough attention to avoid the toys in his path.

'Freedom!' He thought as he turned the handle. 'Not so,' he realized as he didn't see his car, then frowned even further as he nearly sprinted off the porch, the houses looked familiar, but the cars…

Where was the snow?

It had just snowed hadn't it?

His head hurt.

He needed AJ or actually he needed to kill AJ. He lifted a hand to cradle the side of his head, he didn't know if it was the sunlight, his actions or the incredible amount alcohol he must have consumed the night before, but his head throbbed.

He literally groaned as he reached the street corner and realized he was a half hour walk easily from his house. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets, grateful at least he still had his wallet. His hand fingered something else as well, at first assuming it was his cell phone, but ten minutes in as his mind had run through enough ways to kill his brother to satisfy him for the moment and trying to figure out when the confusion would finally leave his mind; when AJ was actually sober enough to move he normally became lucid quickly. Figured he'd be lucky enough to apparently lose all sanity when it came to drinking, even the day after. As that passed though and his hands returned to his, or whomever he had borrowed the coat from, he went for his phone. Expecting to turn it on to find a dozen panicked voicemails from AJ.

"Holy shit," he muttered and stopped in his tracks as he pulled out the sleek little black cell phone. He flipped it open, amazed at the smoothness of the action, it felt nothing like what was suddenly his clunky Motorola, the battery lay smooth, not jutting out.

He started walking again as he flipped it open. It had to be from Europe. Then he stopped and once more looked around at the cars, or he really was going crazy. The phone at least was easy enough to figure out, though he it did stop him in his tracks as the web option came up. There was no name emblazoned across the front screen as was on his own, so he started to scroll through the contacts. Happy for a moment to see Brenda's name, until entirely too many numbers came up and he realized it couldn't be her. He continued scrolling as he mentally debated calling Reginald or Ned to come pick him up because he definitely wasn't getting into a car with AJ. If he called Ned though, there would be questions, then worse than questions would be Brenda knowing before he even talked to Keesha. He sighed thinking of Keesha and flipped the phone shut, shoving it back into his pocket.

He stepped up his walk, grateful the cold weather seemed to have passed and decided to forget everything else, until he talked to AJ. Praying he had been drugged and therefore forgiven, it was after all the only solution that made sense.

He got back faster than he expected as he was so caught up in trying to figure out what was going on and quickly realized the keys also in his pocket did not belong to him. So with his head ducked down to avoid any incriminating looks he knocked on the kitchen door, preferring Cook to Reginald this morning and hopefully a quick retreat up the back stairs avoiding anyone who had already come down.

"Jason," he heard the surprise in her voice, but he kept his head down.

"Morning," he muttered and nearly ran towards the stairs.

The jacket was off before he hit the sanctity of his room, grateful beyond measure that no one was wondering about the hallways.

He had to get HER off of him. He felt dirty, disgusting. There was no way he could even attempt a conversation with AJ, while he smelled like her…His shoes and shirt were off as he grabbed a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and headed into the bathroom.

-x-X-x-

The shower, he nearly dove for and had left his skin raw from the heat and violent scrubbing, was over entirely too soon. His hand had lifted to the fogged mirror and laid flat on it after quickly drying off, until he realized he wasn't ready to face himself.

With sweats pulled on though he once more sighed as his hand laid on the door knob, not at all ready to face his brother, but knowing he eventually he had no choice, but to face AJ and Keesha, the sooner he got answers, the sooner he could figure out how to make her forgive the unforgivable.

-x-X-x-

He wanted to fling the door open, but once more who else could he face, but his brother. He did pause as he had during his walk in fear that AJ had allowed him to make such a grave mistake. He _knew_ his brother loved him, but could he have done something like this in a moment of desperation, trying to prove that the 'good son,' the 'perfect son' wasn't so His stomach clenched in fear, then another thought crossed his mind…What if AJ wasn't there? He assumed his brother was fine, but…

The door quickly opened as a fear greater than losing Keesha entered his mind, his brother…

The door opened and he just stared. It was blank. Empty. Not in contents, but in character. AJ's things, the furniture, everything. It was like walking into a guest room…

He shook his head as he crossed the room, still expecting to find AJ's belongings in the closet…Empty.

Then his panic suddenly went into a fury as he remembered past grandiose plans of his drunken brother that he had been sucked into and he remembered nearly pulling his back out trying to move the heavy desks in their dorm.

He stalked out of the room, ready to hunt down his prey before he realized he wanted to pulverize him instantaneously, not an hour later. "He better run," Jason muttered, just before softly knocking on Emily's door. Sure their little sister had been involved in the move their brother had initiated while he should have been trying to track his younger brother down and stopping him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

No answer. He knocked again. Then closed his eyes feeling guilty, but having no other option seeing as while he was sure Reggie would know where AJ was, he wasn't quite ready to explain his whereabouts to his grandmother. "Emily," he said softly as he opened the door.

He frowned and swallowed hard as he realized while her furniture was the same, her bedding wasn't and only a few distinctly Emily items littered the room neatly. A doll on her bed, a bear on her chair, but no pictures. "Em!" he called out. He couldn't take this anymore. "AJ," he turned and screamed suddenly not caring if everyone in the house came rushing him.

"A giant fuckin joke," he cursed, sure that was going on, he crossed the room to her bathroom, "you better be dressed," he threatened and was surprised to feel the unlocked handle turn easily. _The bathroom too. _He realized seeing the bathroom un-littered with girly products. Had his bathroom been different? The tiles had been the same, one of the maids that changed as often as Edward's moods, stocked the towels and toiletries. _Had his toothbrush been there? _That hadn't been on his list of priorities before yelling and crying to AJ.

He shook his head as he moved a few feet down, ready to rattle his sister's neck, who had to be hiding in the closet.

Once more empty.

He turned expecting to hear his siblings laughing behind him in the doorway, enjoying their joke, but once more no. He turned back and stared at the mostly empty closet. The clothing looked more likely to belong to Brenda then Emily.

"This is not funny!" he screamed as he left the room. Though a smart of him almost wanted to smile, he felt relieved realizing AJ must have thought him fine and probably pulling this joke the ensure his little brother never touched a drop of booze again, which he wouldn't for sure. He probably ran into someone from school, AJ had probably gotten a cab home…

"Guys!" he screamed again.

"Emily," he tried as he started down the hall, sure Emily would cave first, AJ knew him better, knew he wouldn't actually disown him over a joke.

"Jason," his mother's hushed whisper came from behind him.

She was wearing a robe, he had obviously just woken her.

It was her face.

He didn't know what it was, but he knew it wasn't good. Worse then when she had cancer, but he knew it. It hit him slowly as she looked at him in horror, it was how she looked at Dawn's picture. Lost in thought by unfeasibility of her being no more.

"No," he shook his head slowly. "No," he repeated.

"Oh Jason," she took a step towards him.

"AJ," he screamed without thought, just need.

Then his breath stopped as she froze and tears that had previously glistened in her eyes started to fall.

"No," he commanded and violently shook his head. "AJ," he screamed again and ran towards his room. He repeated the name as he heard his mother gently cry his name as he ran into the room, "No," he ordered as he turned in the soulless room, to face her sorrowful face, he could feel the tears on his face. "No," he repeated, but his mind started to force its way past his heart. He would drink, do drugs, would do anything to bury that pain, a reality without his brother, an entire life together suddenly over, and his little sister with her whole future ahead of her? No…He couldn't face that, he couldn't live with it, move past it.

"You're lying," he told his mother point blank. They couldn't be dead if he was still alive, their rooms couldn't be empty while his was untouched.

"Oh sweetheart," she said raising her fingers to her lips, then began to take another tentative step towards him.

"I don't believe you," he was filled with a hatred he had never felt before, looking at the person who had taken away his family with a single look. He went te ocouldn't face that, he couldn't live with it, he couldn't move past it, ever. o rush past her, ready to push her if she even dared touch him.

He was barely out in the hall two seconds, trying to figure out what direction to head in when he heard, "What in God's name is going on out here?"

He turned to Edward in his navy silk robe and without a second's worth of reprieve he was hit with it again, only this time with finality as Edward looked at him as he normally looked at AJ, "Oh it's you."

That's when it hit Jason Quartermaine, his life was over, there was nothing that could fix this.

* * *

Thanks for reading!!

I have got to cave and reinstall my OS. Random words in weird places sooo not my fault.

And yes, he realizes his enviroment is wrong before he gets to the house, but everything is wrong. He's a boy, boys know cars. :-P


	12. The Brazen Shuffle

Okay everyone let's do the Brazen shuffle! Everyone's been doing them and I got tagged to do one on facebook anyway so I might as well use the songs for something useful. I'm doing an altered one after getting a brand new song as my first song, they're basically written in 2 song lengths (I listen and read the lyrics then started writing and hit repeat once), the Oasis one totally got like 3 listen throughs because it was only 2 minutes long, I'd barely googled for the lyrics by the time it was over. I was going to do 16 fics for the years since BB was introduced, but wow I got tired of them, so there are 6, plus a bonus of me actually picking a song and writing a short ficlet without any limits. They're all brazen, so he is always Jason and she is always Brenda. Oh and they totally suck, I willingly admit that, but hey it's all about getting the creative juices flowing.

* * *

_The Path to..._

**The Brazen Shuffle**

**_1) You Were Good in Your Time-Morrissey _**

_You said more in one day  
than most people say  
in a lifetime, it was our time  
and we thank you_

She was 37. She prided herself that she looked 27, yet proud of herself for surviving those 37 years. She had seemed untouchable. Afraid for others, but no longer herself. She always laughed and smiled at him, when he would worry about her. That didn't mean he wasn't used to her hugs, the moment things had gone south, or how her tiny fist would slam into him after he had worried her.

He expected her to be there forever. The pain in his side, who became his wife, who became his best friend. Brenda was life itself, it bubbled out of her; made him forget his own anguish, if only for brief seconds.

Emma's ball had gone onto the garage roof, Brenda had pulled out the ladder…

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_2) Stop and Stare – One Republic_**

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be,_

She was a floating tease in his life, the effervescent reminder of what he didn't have in his life, what he didn't get to have. She flittered around the town, bringing joy or at least life to everyone she touched, no one was indifferent to Brenda. She ignored his dire predictions of what a friendship with him would bring and simply turned up in his daily life.

He discovered the ache in his chest, the first time she had gone away with her boyfriend, when a week went by and she didn't show up on his doorstep with takeout in hand. The ache started to be there even when she was. He didn't know what it was, when it happened, but one day he realized she had become everything to him.

He had made a choice though many years ago, which left him with no choices now. He would always love her and she would never know.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_3) Ain't Got Nothing On Me – Oasis _**

_They got nothing on me anymore, they got nothing on you  
I don't care what they say anymore, all I want is the truth_

"Are you sleeping with Sonny?" he screamed it this time as he released her arm as he had been dragging her through the halls of the Metro Court seeking a way out amongst electronically controlled doors that Spinelli was trying to override.

"We're going to die in a god damn fire, set by some lunatic that's upset because they didn't die in the first fire and you're harping on Sonny?" she screamed it back.

"Just answer the damn question Brenda!"

"No!" she screamed as she tried to rattle a door hating the Jacks' for splurging on high end doors. "Though I probably should have since I'm gonna die anyway, might as well had a little fun getting there!"

"You want to be sleeping with Sonny?!" he kept screaming, he couldn't stop it and it was more than just need to be heard over the fire alarms that wouldn't stop blaring.

"Don't," she looked at him with an angry glare.

"Don't what Brenda," they stopped moving and fiercely glowered at each other.

"Don't ," she repeated, "don't use him as your scapegoat."

He slammed her up against the wall in a kiss and for once she didn't fight him.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_4) The World Spins Madly On – The Weepies_**

_I let the day go by  
I always say goodbye  
I watch the stars from my window sill  
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

Jason Morgan wasn't the type to weep. He wasn't the kind the bemoan his loses and be frozen by them. He continued on, every day with every tragedy and heartache, normally with even more vigilance than normal. He had done exactly that yesterday; he had pushed through the anguish that was ripping him apart. Now though after hours spent lying in bed contemplating the hated life he had created for himself, he had given up and stood to stare out onto the water and the vast freedom it represented, a freedom he would never have.

He remembered how she used to stare out the windows. The long dark hair against bare skin, how she would turn back with a smile to him. She brought him a life he had known wasn't possible, yet he had tricked himself into it somehow. His head dropped against the glass and he knew he would do anything to feel her arms sliding around him as they used to. She was gone though, she was over, they were over, that life that should have never been, would never be.

His eyes were closed as his door opened and he was ready for the bullet to enter his brain and end this once and for all, but instead he was greeted with a whisper, "No," was all she said.

He turned slowly to see Brenda standing in his doorway with bloodshot eyes, "No," she repeated.

He had said goodbye, but she had said no.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_5) Pop There Goes My Heart – Pop!_**

_  
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head  
But then pop! Goes my heart  
(Pop! Goes my heart)  
I wasn't gonna fall in love again  
But then pop! Goes my heart  
(Pop! Goes my heart)  
And I just can't let you go  
I can't lose this feeling_

She leaned forward and swiped a fry from his plate without pausing in her story, "So whatever they caved, like honestly did they really think I was going to pay-" She stopped and frowned at him, "What?"

"What?" he repeated back.

"You were staring at me," she frowned, "do I have ketchup on my face and you're not telling me," she glared, "again."

He smiled.

"Okay you're starting to freak me out," she said looking at the clean napkin she had just wiped her mouth with, "what's going on? I grow a second head?"

_'I love you,' _he thought to himself. He had fallen in love with her and he had no idea when, but he had realized it around the fifth time her hand had reached for his plate as she ignored her salad. "I'd be fleeing in terror," he instead responded, "two mouths, even I'm not that brave."

She laughed and flung her half eaten French Fry at him. He pushed his plate to the middle of the table.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_6) I Am Missing – Dashboard Confessional_**

_Sharp disaster in a fresh new coma  
Was it worth it when it was over  
Proving yourself right  
You'd make the biggest noise  
Well I'd lock my hands behind my head  
I'd cover my heart and hit the deck  
I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you_

He had tried to talk her out of it, everyone had tried to talk her out of it, but she stood before him with an uneasy smile on her face as she smoothed down the cream colored silk that was already creaseless as they waited for the ceremony to begin.

"Fourth time's the charm right?" there was no sparkle to her eyes as she smiled.

"You look beautiful."

"Pretty poor deflection Jason," he could see her swallow hard.

"Only you know if you're making the right decision," he answered.

"I am," she nodded vigorously. "Jax is sorry, he's spent the last year showing me that."

Jason didn't mention all of Jax's small moments of jealousy.

"Jax is who I belong with," she nodded again, she turned and paced, the quickly turned back, "you look great," she said as she fiddled with the silk ash blue tie of his morning suit, "you should dress up more."

"I don't think so," he quickly answered.

She smiled for real, then it fell, her hand froze, then it pounded lightly against his ribs and she gently shook the tie. "Can we leave?" she asked looking up with wide and anxious eyes.

"Car's right by the door," he nodded gently.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**_Bonus: Any Other World - Mika_**

_Cos it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart  
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in  
To the world you thought you lived in_

The future was before him, laid out, not clearly, but deep within him he knew. He could feel it; he could almost see how it would one day come about. It was so close, just a touch away, a second sooner, it was so close…

_"I have to," was all he could explain._

_"No, you don't have to. Brenda is a big girl Jason," Keesha said in annoyance as she drawled out the words._

_"She's not thinking clearly," he tried again._

_"It's Brenda," she countered with. _

_"She's going through a rough time," he had a compulsion to heal, to soothe, he couldn't just abandon her, she would never abandon him._

_"Jason, Brenda made her own mess. You need to stop trying to fix it for her. She's never going to learn otherwise. "_

_"You don't understand Jax-" _

_"Jax is a perfectly nice guy."_

_"Nice guys don't help break up a relationship."_

_She gave him a look, "Sure you just aren't jealous that it isn't your role this time?"_

_"That was different."_

_"How was it different?"_

_"Brenda and I were just trying to hold onto-"_

_"Oh you mean how Brenda's trying to hold onto Sonny? Are you sure this just isn't because you've never approved of Sonny? And you're afraid she's going to be successful?"_

_"It's not like that."_

_"Really are you sure?"_

_"Keesha, look," he looked down at his watch, "I'm already late, I told Brenda I'd be over by now."_

_"Wouldn't want to keep Brenda waiting would you?" she snipped, she wasn't this girl, she didn't know who this girl was, she had loved his caring nature, his loyalty, she wanted this girl to go away, she wanted to be happy with him._

_"I'll make it up to you," he promised and quickly gave her a kiss goodbye._

_She let out a small breath of air as he left, tears suddenly threatening her eyes as she could feel their end rapidly approaching._

_-x-x-X-x-x-_

_"We're married," Brenda let out a short nervous chuckle of amazement as she flexed her left hand out the diamonds on her wedding band matching the sparkle of her engagement ring._

_He let out a sudden matching laugh of shock, "We are," he nodded._

_"Holy shit Jase, we're married. Like till death do us part married."_

_"Along with other things," he said stepping up to her and entwining both of their hands so they faced each other._

_She looked up with a bright smile, "This poor thing Jason."_

_He chuckled, "It was poorer not poor."_

_"Good, me and poor…"_

_He laughed and she smiled back at him._

_"Beautiful," the photographer called out, "hold that pose."_

_-x-x-X-x-_

_"What do you think about us having a baby?" _

_He smiled, he had been expecting this in the past few weeks since Teddy, Edward Lawrence Ashton Jr. was born. Brooklyn had been born when they were still dating, but even that had required not so subtle inquisition into whether they would one day have a child. He couldn't help, but smile, pleased that Brenda was approaching the stage that she'd consider taking time off from modeling to have a baby. "I like the idea."_

_"Really?" she smiled._

_"Yea," he nodded slowly, "after my first year we should start trying."_

_Her smile fell. _

_'Too soon,' he thought to himself. "There no rush though, I still won't have the best hours in my third year, during my fellowship-"_

_"What about sooner?" _

_The catch in her voice left no doubt in his mind what she was saying, she wasn't pondering whether they should have a child…"Sooner as in?"_

_"8 months?" _

_"I think that sounds great," his mouth tugged up at the corners despite trying to keep a straight face, she was so adorably worried and they…they were having a baby. The smile fully spread._

_"Really?" she smiled back._

_"Really," he nodded seconds before catching her in his arms as she threw herself at him._

_-x-x-X-x-x-_

_"Are you moving?" AJ asked as walked into his brother's house with him._

_"Looks like that," he said staring at the mound of things in front of him. Suitcases, duffel bags, grocery bags, pillows, a playpen, a portable crib, potty chair, tub chair, baby tub…_

_"Brenda?" he called out, while keeping his eyes on the mound._

_"Oh thank god you're home," she said rushing down the stairs, "I can't find Morgan's blue bear and I'm thinking maybe I should give Josh a bath before we go."_

_"We're going away for 2 days," he said blankly._

_She looked at him awaiting more._

_"How much stuff do you need?"_

_"That's the boys stuff, I haven't finished packing yet."_

_He continued to stare at his wife in shock. _

_"Like an I Love Lucy episode," AJ said under his breath as he headed for the stairs. _

_-x-x-X-x-x-_

_"Tw-" Jason looked out at the crowd gathered around him as his voice was caught in his throat. Brenda was seated on the floor behind Morgan and Josh, each hand clutching a handful of their green sweaters, ensuring they remained seated. Little Lila with her head full of dark curls against her great grandfather's shoulder, they had been busy and she had missed her nap today. Her older cousin, Isabelle sat politely next to them, holding her doll that had long straight dark hair and hazel eyes, just like her own, waiting for the story to start. _

_His mother swayed with Trey, his newborn head full of dark brown hair, being kissed by her lips, Emily smiled reassuring at him as tears sparkled in her eyes. _

_Hannah smiled at her son as she walked over to her ex-husband, who was staring at a spot on the ceiling; he looked down with a smile as she placed a hand on his shoulder. They had been divorced two years, but as their four day old son showed, they were still the one the other sought comfort in. _

_Ned looked longingly across at Lois as Brooke stuck her tongue out at Teddy as she stood in her elf costume. _

_He smiled to himself as he began again, "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house…"_

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Dammit AJ," he said recovering from being jerked back as the car started, "are you trying to kill both of us?"

"No one told you to get in the car," he snapped at his little brother.

"AJ stop the damn car," he yelled.

"I don't think so," AJ shook his head as he glared at the driveway ahead of them.

"Dammit A-" he leaned over, ready to turn off the ignition, sure he couldn't throw the car into park with AJ's hand over the shift.

His fingers were so close, they caught the leather of the keychain as AJ reacted and looked down, "What the-"

He screamed his brother's name as the car started to swerve, AJ's head shot up and he tried to compensate but they were going too fast and the driveway was too narrow. Seven seconds and it was over. He had been so close…

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	13. Laying Blame

God. I'm still not watching the show (though I did totally watch Sam shooting Jason because of a random message board post and I did check out to see how SB's alleged weight loss is going…Honestly once Antonio Sabato Jr. came back into the spotlight all I could think was Brenda would attack these guys with eye creams…So good for Steve Burton for trying to get 'it' back), so I have no idea how horrible this will be in the current story line. I did read the Jasam rumors, but whatever that hasn't happened yet, so I don't need to find a way around them. This would be a **summer **story. Just a little one shot to get Brenda back into the show…cause you know I'm obsessed with those. :-P BTW I am so aware I need a thesaurus or book of idioms, glare, the entire scene is based on Brenda glaring and dear god I only said it a few dozen times.

* * *

_The Path to..._

**Laying Blame**

"This is all your fault," an angry Brenda said storming off the elevator in front of the 6th floor nurse's station.

"My fault?" Jason questioned storming after her.

Even Epiphany was silenced by the pair, dirty and bandaged with wild hair; Brenda was wearing a pair of men's blue plaid pajama bottoms and Jason in khaki cargo shorts, both in his black tee shirts.

Her head snapped back so fast it looked like it hurt, "Come on Brenda," she mocked, in a whiny voice, "we can't not go into the waterfall."

"We hiked all the way out there for the damn waterfall," he retorted, oblivious to everyone around them.

"It was freezing!" she glared, "I almost died for a frozen waterfall."

"No _we _almost died because you date lunatics."

"Oh my god, Jason, Brenda," Monica exclaimed walking out of the hallway, "what happened?"

That snapped the rest of the staff back into reality as they all attempted to look away and act busy.

"Nature is highly overrated," Brenda fumed.

"Oh god, did you fall?" Monica asked coming up to them touching the bandage on Jason's head, then the gauze on Brenda's arm.

"Fell, slid, shot at," she turned and glared, "with Jason's gun."

"What, oh my god are you alright?" she looked desperately at her only remaining child.

"Fine just a little bruised," he promised.

"And itchy," Brenda glared at him as she automatically twitched her legs, it was worse now that they had stopped moving.

"Poison Ivy," Jason supplied.

"That he pulled us into," she accused.

"I'm sorry Brenda, I'll know for the next time your boyfriend is shooting at us, that you'd prefer a bullet to a few days of cortisone and an antihistamine."

"You're a jackass," was all she said.

"You're both okay though?"

"We're fine Monica," Brenda promised.

"No life threatening injuries?"

"The EMTS treated us while the police took our statements, but Brenda needs her cut cleaned better and we both might need antibiotics."

"I don't mean to intrude Dr. Quartermaine, but security was wondering if we needed to call the police?" Epiphany asked, not mentioning it was she that had mentioned that possibly to Mitch.

Monica looked at her son.

"They already have him in custody," Jason answered.

"If you don't mind me asking, who and where because we've heard nothing and if there is another homicidal maniac running around Port Charles-"

"Adirondacks because this would happen the moment I try to take a vacation," Brenda answered in annoyance.

"I told you it was a bad idea," Jason scoffed.

"You two went on vacation together," Epiphany asked, telling herself she was being kind, by asking for her boss.

"You're Epiphany aren't you?" Brenda asked suddenly recognizing the woman's face from Robin's online photo album.

"You're evading," she countered with a smile.

"Definitely Epiphany," Brenda couldn't help but laugh.

"In the flesh, I'll take your non-answer as a yes."

"Wait," Monica said closing her eyes briefly, "you two went on vacation and someone shot at you?"

The formerly married couple turned to glare at each other.

"I went out with him twice," Brenda shot out as Jason's mouth opened.

"You could have mentioned he was obsessed with you," Jason countered.

"I didn't think it was that serious," she defended.

"What exactly do you qualify as serious Brenda?"

"Don't start again Jason," she shook her head at him.

"Can you both please stop fighting and explain to me what happened?" Monica asked with raised hands.

"Finally," Epiphany muttered under her breath.

"Nurse Johnson," Monica reprimanded with a look.

"I'm going," she shrugged off, "just make sure they keep their voices down, this is a hospital."

Monica sighed and turned back to them, "Explain."

"Well you know how Jason never takes any time off," Brenda began and ignored the look of 'this is why' from Jason. "So since I was coming to New York anyhow I suggested we get away for a couple days. No work, no press, no," she frowned, "well anyone that knows us or of us."

"So she suggested a place her stalker told her about," Jason cut in.

She glared, "In my defense, we went out twice a few months ago, we ran in the same circles, a guy that I keep seeing and doesn't quite take the hint when I don't return his calls, isn't normally a stalker. He mentioned the area and it sounded really nice, little did I know he was back in New York too and he had a friend that worked at the hotel we were staying at."

Jason noisily sighed in aggravation.

She once more glared, she sighed as she continued on, "This couple we were talking to in the steam room-"

Monica poorly disguised her snicker at the thought of her son at a spa, Jason rolled his eyes.

"-and they were talking about this lake with a natural waterfall and how beautiful it was," Brenda looked a little wistful just remembering the idea of the lake.

"A five mile hike from our hotel," Jason added.

"Don't start with the hike again Jason."

"I wouldn't if I'd had earplugs."

Another glare. "Anyway we hiked out yesterday, apparently it's a popular place when summer really gets going, did the whole freezing in the water thing, s'mores, sleeping under the stars."

"We were in a tent," he looked at her in confusion.

"Oh whatever, with all the damn nature noises going on-" she retorted.

"Brenda, you willingly camped?" Monica's lips couldn't help, but twitch up.

"Oh shut up," Brenda glowered at Jason, who was smirking, "I wasn't that bad."

He didn't need to mention to his mother, how Brenda had only stopped moving because eventually she had been zipped into his sleeping bag and he'd kept an arm clasped around her.

"Jason throws me into the water this morning-"

"You could have sunbathed at the hotel," he quickly responded.

"I was being nice because you were getting bored," she angrily explained.

"I was fine, you were the one that kept wanting to do stuff," his eyes widened.

"Because you looked bored," she argued.

Monica cleared her throat, they both turned back.

"So long story short,"

Jason snorted, Brenda glared.

"Jason in his infinite wisdom, drags me and I mean drags me under the waterfall because he's failed to notice that we had someone watching us for who knows how long."

"I'm sorry I didn't think I needed to be on the lookout in the middle of the woods," he scoffed.

"He finally lets me go and we swim back and realize our stuff has been tossed into the fire and Jason's gun is missing, seriously though," she turned back to him, "who takes a gun hiking?"

"Don't start with that again," he didn't even look at her.

She turned back to Monica, "So obviously we start back, did I mention I'm just in a bikini for this…The next three hours of hell. I was in a bikini. I just lived through a B horror movie."

Monica turned expectantly to her son.

"He chased us through the woods."

"Taunted us," Brenda eyes grew wide, "led us into traps, shot at us. Jason was grazed by a bow, seriously a bow!"

"He also used the gun."

"Oh my god," Monica's hand rose to her chest.

"All because we zipped our sleeping bags together," Brenda declared with total appall.

Monica's shock and fear once more turned to interest; she gave them a questioning look.

"Ew," Brenda 's face soured, "not like that. Well he thought it was like that, but I mean really…" she shook her head and looked at Jason.

"He was obviously deranged," Jason nodded.

"Eventually Jason managed to subdue him," she didn't mention all the fear and the screaming that had occurred.

"She only hit me with the branch twice."

"Roll slower next time Jason," she commanded as she referred to his and Monty's eventual tussle on the ground.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I'm fighting for our lives."

"So we hiked back up to the main road, the police, the troopers and the rangers all came. EMTS fixed us up, went back to the hotel grabbed our stuff and got the hell out of there and my cortisone cream is wearing off."

"She needs an antihistamine," Jason supplied.

"I know those make you sleep," she snapped.

"If they had something that just made you quiet, I would suggest that."

"Okay let's get you two fixed up," she said as she placed a hand on each of their arms reassuringly. "Epiph-"

"Already have a room set aside for them," Epiphany said coming up beside them.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Thank god you're here," Mac said exiting the elevator seeing Brenda talking to his niece, animatedly describing the events as Jason was off to the side talking to Max.

"Uncle Mac," was all Robin could get off as they turned to face him.

"I just got off the phone with the Kashong PD. Seems Travis Dumont talked a guard into letting him go to the bathroom-"

"No," was all Brenda said and for the first time in the past hour someone else was on the receiving end of her glare.

"I've got his picture out to all my officers," Mac said as he approached her, "State Troopers are out looking for him."

"How exactly did they let this happen?" Jason said approaching them, _he'd certainly never been allowed to go to the bathroom himself at the PCPD._

"They're a small station," Mac gave a knowing look to Jason, "they don't have quite as much experience as we do."

"Should have let me shoot him," the piercing look was once more returned to Jason.

"Don't worry Brenda, we'll get him," Mac said placing a hand on her arm. "Now they told me what happened are you alright? They said you wouldn't let them take you to the hospital."

"We're fine," she shook her head.

"I'm going to assign an officer to you," he turned to Jason, "that offer-"

"No thanks," Jason turned it down before it was offered.

"Figured as much, I assume you'll also put your own people on Brenda."

Jason just looked at him.

Mac didn't bother arguing with Jason, at least his men all knew what a Corinthos henchman looked like. "Does she need to stay overnight?" Mac asked Robin.

"No, I cleared them both to go," Monica answered from behind the Nurse's Station.

"Good, then I want you to get somewhere less public, this isn't a joke," he turned to Jason once he was finished.

"Her room is all ready," Monica told Mac. "The antihistamine will probably make you sleep anyway," she said seeing Brenda frown.

"I'm staying with Jason," she informed them.

The contradictory voices overlapped.

"Okay aside from the obvious he just tried to kill us, there's no way in hell I'd risk Monica and Edward's lives," she explained to Jason. "You really think I'm going to let that guy think he's run me off from you? Seriously? I'd probably marry you just to rub it in his face."

"You're going home to the Quartermaines," he shot down her idea.

"No I'm not."

"You're not coming home with me," he vetoed her idea.

"Fine then, I'll stay at the hotel." She looked at Mac, "I don't want the guard."

"Brenda," Jason fumed.

"What?" she looked innocently at him; then the passion flared, "Really think I'd risk them? Really think I'm going to let him win? I have poison ivy over half of my ass."

Mac looked confused.

"I'll be a good little girl, hang out at the apartment, won't give the guard the slip," she haughtily promised.

"Brenda," Jason warned.

"Really want to piss me off more? You know me, I make bad judgment calls when I'm pissed off," she threatened.

His scowl deepened, "You-"

"I am saying goodbye to Robin, Mac and Monica. Take my antihistamine and sleep in the guest room for the next twelve hours because you gave away my room," her gaze remained deadly.

"Fine," he bit out.

Goodbyes were quickly said and promises were made and the couple departed from the crowd.

She smirked at him, "Just so you know I'm kissing you at his trial," she said as she got into the elevator with him.

His eyes closed as his head leaned against the wall.

"Probably even cuddling," she threatened with the devilish smile still playing upon her lips. _It was good to be home. _

* * *

Okay well that was it, I don't know if it was horrible or alright, but well I tried. Hopefully it was a little better than my last posting. I really need some Brenda time on screen, can't she make a quick visit to PC to see Emma? Thanks for reading!


	14. Redemption

Hmm yea this is that AJ/Courtney/Helena fic that I'd mentioned a few years ago, but well, scratch Courtney, she just doesn't fit anymore and I'm too lazy to revise my original idea, so I'm just going to work this into the current storyline. I actually kind of like that because before it was about AJ discovering who he currently was, was a lie and now it's more like um Dollhouse? Okay yea I was just watching and I was like, where'd I put that AJ reprogrammed fic?

Okay just so we're clear **Paulo is AJ** (Sean Kanan's AJ- the UBER yummy AJ). Gonna do Pavel, for the Russian aspect, but seriously Paulo, is so very gigolo and sexy.

* * *

_The Path to…_

(Redemption)

"Here you are my dear," her companion said with a smile handing her a small glass of sherry. _In English of course, _he never had the aptitude for languages, it was a shame. Of course, he was what people called proficient, but…Well she had decided it simply wasn't worth the bother. She was as always amused by the slight Russian accent he had picked up from the teachers he no longer recalled, it at least made for a nice change from the dreary English language.

"Thank you Paulo," she smiled and accepted the glass with graceful fingers.

He smiled, a smile she was used to, cocky, charming, undeniably appealing, "A little light for you isn't it?" His other hand held a glass of vodka, ice cold to the touch, his drink of choice.

She supposed that was the most dramatic change in his personality, which was saying quite a lot because she had taken a pathetic failure nearly on par with her own tragic youngest offspring and she had transformed him into, well into a Stavros, a feat she had never accomplished with Stefan.

Confident, charming and most importantly successful. A little thing like alcoholism…

A disease of the weak and she had made him strong.

Never the type to over-indulge, her adored Paulo was always in control.

He had turned out so much better than she had dared hope. She hadn't quite a use for him when she'd taken him and dealt with Lydia, aside from his finances replenishing her coiffeurs. However a Quartermaine heir, foe of the Corinthos Organization, she assumed, he would be more useful made into her tool than being dispatched of.

She hadn't anticipated quite how useful, he had been easy to break. Dr. Jacoby had explained that the years of neglect and abuse when paired with his unintentional murder of the only one that had ever believed in him had left him primed for his de and reprogramming, though that word held a bitter taste in her mouth, after all she was hardly running a cult. Still though, he had been remade into something masterful.

She assumed she would eventually use him to drain the Quartermaine coiffeurs once more, but that would take years for him to re-earn their trust and frankly, she had grown fond of him and hadn't been ready to part with him. His talents had exceeded her expectations, first in the bedroom and then in business. He was apparently born with a natural business instinct that Dr. Jacoby theorized had been hindered by his need for self-destruction after uncovering that he had actually managed to earn money while he'd been attempting to squander it, yet routinely failed while appearing to try to succeed.

She'd made a move for extra funds and to throw the family into turmoil, how they could assume he would have run through that many millions, proved Dr. Jacoby's theory of their incorrect opinion of their heir, she would have never diminished her beloved Stavros so. In the end she hadn't been too disheartened to walk away from that venture without a profit, AJ had needed to perish and Emily needed to suffer. Of course, AJ's return would be that much more impactful one day when thought to be long dead.

She had bided her time with Emily, using every tactic aside from her wonderful Paulo to destroy the relationship her grandson held so dear. Eventually she was successful and he had proven quite useful in getting that dear, sweet, little Emily to cooperate. She would have to go soon, check in on her pawn, ensure the plan was moving along and that she had no idea who she truly was.

She wondered about Paolo, whether it was time for his outside use, she supposed she would watch Emily for now, see how the programming stuck before risking her favorite toy.

"I find I'm not quite in the mood for liquid inebriations," she let the amber liquid sway from side to side of her glass.

"Really," he said with his charming smile just as he settled into the armchair across from her.

She smiled and put down the glass, "That little display of Jiu-Jitsu before dinner was quite impressive."

His pleased and confident smile warmed something within her; she liked pleasing him as unnatural as that was.

"You've added something extra since I last saw you and Marco practice."

"More grappling," he nodded, "Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, would have thought you'd find that uncouth."

"Hardly, it was quite impressive how you flipped him after he pinned you."

"Gave me the leverage to beat him," he knowingly informed her of his opponent's mistake.

"A minor setback to be victorious," she smiled.

"History only cares about who won the war," he added.

"Not the battles," she finished.

His pleased smile continued.

"I have to admit, I was envious of Marco while he had you pinned to the mat, even more so, when you had him underneath you."

He laughed unexpectedly, almost as if breaking out of the shell of the refined man he normally was. He put down the glass, "The last thing I need is to be thinking of is you while I'm trying to pin Marco."

"You can't expect me not to be envious of the control you exerted over him, how you played him so perfectly," light eyes sparkled knowingly at each other.

"Lanie," he said throwing her back into her youth, "you will always be the one with the power over me," he swore as he stood and walked to her.

"Not in all areas my dear," she said as her pointer teased over his belt buckle.

"Especially there," he promised.

"Show me," she challenged.

"Happy to," he smiled.

* * *

::Sigh:: this is an AJ ficlet, so I'm sure it's going to barely get any love. But well, AJ grappling!!! (Okay today I watched Dollhouse, yesterday I watched Never Back Down---both kinda left thoughts in my head). Oh and if the vibe of the story changed after the Paolo always in control that's because that's where the story stopped like 2 years ago.

So if you're keeping count, it's me, then Dollhouse, tossed in a little Twin Peaks (hopefully the few readers this will get won't actually flash to First Em's Dad, at least not with the glasses), then Never Back Down. :-P

For those who actually got this far, thanks for reading, I hope you have pleasant thoughts of Sean Kanan topless and fighting. :-P I've got to keep AJ alive out there, I'd be sad otherwise.


	15. Moments in Life

Umm so I think I'm definitely over watching GH at least for the foreseeable future. So I'm warning you now there probably won't be any new working Brenda into the current plotlines stories for quite some time. Just kind of vague ones like this. Thanks for reading!

**Fact to know: **Brenda is living in Sonny's old penthouse after shortly living with Jason and Spinelli.

* * *

_The Path to…_

(Moments in Life)

**GH:**

"Siren, if you are done?" Spinelli impatiently tapped his shoe as he stood behind Brenda in front of the waiting room's vending machine.

"Oooh Siren I love that," Lucy exclaimed before Brenda could react.

Brenda stopped mid-scowl at Spinelli, who used the nickname with irritation and turned in desperation to Lucy, "No!"

"Oh Brenda can't you just see the commercial," Lucy's eyes went wide as she saw it in her head, "You walking like the Pied Piper, men crashing their bikes, walking into walls…"

"No," she once more shook her head at Lucy.

"It'll be fantastic," she shook her head in eager anticipation, "I need to call Mauricio and tell him I've found the perfect name for our new scent," Lucy was off on her phone before Brenda could even open her mouth again.

"That was **not **my fault," Brenda angrily exclaimed at the young man.

"Of course not it is just in the Siren's nature; thankfully Stone Cold has the strength and intelligence of Odysseus in resisting your charms."

"I was just standing there minding my own business, a creep hits on me and I get blamed?" she said referring to the scene on the Haunted Star that she could have easily handled herself until Sonny and Jax got involved. One minute Sonny was trying to get rid of the creep, then Jax was after Sonny for interfering in Brenda's life, the next thing she knew fists were flying and Jason was breaking up the fight between two married men, neither of which was married to her.

"Si-"

"Spinelli stop it," Jason said on a sigh as he walked into the room, blood staining the left side of his grey dress shirt, an inch of bandage affixed above his eye.

"Oh Jason," Brenda apologetically sighed, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he shook his head.

"Stitches, hardly-" Spinelli tried to interject.

"Only three," Jason was quick to point out.

"You could have been blinded," Brenda's fingertips traced the taped edges.

"Exacty, which-" Spinelli once more tried to chime in.

"It's late, I'm going home," Jason turned before they could get into it again, leaving them to chase after him.

-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-

**GH:**

Jagger laughed as Jason walked away from them, "I guess some things never change."

Brenda frowned after Jason and the attitude he had just displayed. She shook her head at Jagger, not quite getting what he meant.

"He still has an issue with-" he waggled a finger between them.

She shook her head, old Jason might have had a problem with Brenda anywhere near Jagger, probably because she tended to make extremely poor choices regarding him and Jason had to listen to it afterwards. "No, Jason's just an ass," she rolled her eyes.

"Stone's out," he nodded at his son turning the corner with Robin, "I'll see you later."

She smiled apologetically, "Dinner, Tuesday," she lifted up to kiss his cheek.

"I'll call you later," he nodded back.

"What was that?" Brenda asked fumed as she stormed over to Jason by the nurse's station.

"What?" Jason shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't-" she shook her head at him. "What possible issue could you have with Jagger?"

"Didn't you guys already date?"

"Don't you have absolutely no memory of that so you can't make any judgment calls regarding it."

"Fine Brenda, it's your life," he shook his head.

"You know Jason that's the one constant with you, even with two different personalities, you've never liked anyone I've ever dated. You know seriously, if I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous," she let out a loud sigh and stormed away from him.

-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-

**The Kitchen in Jason's Penthouse:**

"Don't you knock?" Spinelli exclaimed shortly after the bowl of popcorn he had just filled was thrown into the air.

"You need less caffeine," Brenda announced shaking her head as she walked to the fridge.

"Siren, we have boundaries," he said frantically trying to divert his eyes and focus on the mess that he had just made.

"And by boundaries he means, dress code, did you walk across the hall like that?" Jason questioned seeing the kelly green boyshorts and lowcut black cami that hardly covered her slender form.

She frowned looking down, "They're my pajamas. It's 11 o'clock. I'm not getting dressed to walk across the hall."

"There's this thing called a robe Brenda."

She rolled her eyes at him, "Whatever, I just need milk for my tea," she lifted the quart in her hand. "You guys are oddly repressed."

Jason sighed at her and grabbed the milk out of her hands as she went to walk away with it.

"Hey," she scowled.

"I am not walking across the hall just to have breakfast in the morning when it's my milk," he opened a cupboard and pulled out a cup.

"Actually I've been in the mood for French toast and there's obviously no way in hell I'm going to make that, want to do Kelly's tomorrow?"

"Is this going to be brunch or-" he questioned as he extended the cup to her.

"Like nine," she rolled her eyes; she honestly didn't sleep that late.

"Okay," he nodded.

"Great," she said without much emotion and turned, "night Overly Anxious One," she called over her shoulder.

"Goodnight Siren of Misery," he grumbled.

Jason snorted as he went to put away the milk.

-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-

**Bank Vault:**

"I should be used to this by now," Brenda announced as she slid down against the steel wall.

"Used to what?" Jason asked as he continued to study the large barren bank vault that appeared to be running on emergency lights.

"Waiting to die," she let out a short laugh. "Done it so many times you'd think I'd be better at it."

"We're not going to die," he automatically responded as he continued to search for anything that wouldn't make that a lie.

She let out a short laugh, "Okay MacGyver," she said disbelievingly. "Every time I told myself it would be different after. I was going to be different."

"I think that's normal," he hadn't expected for her to drop the topic, he barely even hoped anymore after all the years he had known her.

"No Jason. People actually do it. When you're given another chance you don't just squander it," she raged at him, angry at herself.

"Fine then this time actually do it," he said wincing as he turned back quickly, he could definitely still feel whatever they had hit him with.

She shook her head slowly at him, her eyes softening.

That feeling hit him in the pit of his stomach again, just as it had as he had come to in the what he was assuming was the First Union on Lincoln Ave that was set to be demolished in what he assumed was a few hours since he had no way of telling how long they had been unconscious since their abductors had taken their cell phones. "What would you have done?" he quietly questioned.

She shrugged gently, "Worked less? All those years trying to prove to everyone I wasn't just a pretty face that I really could do something productive."

"No one-" he was cut off by a glare.

"Don't start lying now," her expression suddenly softened.

He sighed, "You're more than just a pretty face."

"Aw Jase, you think I'm pretty," her eyes twinkled.

He let out a brief laugh, but didn't fall into her attempt at teasing.

"Ever wonder Jason-"

He looked back to her and her hesitant words.

"What it could have been like between us?"

He looked down mildly confused, _was she asking what it sounded like she was asking?_

"I mean we were married, we lived together for almost four months," she shrugged.

He just kept looking at her.

She looked up with an outraged exasperation seeing his stunned face, "Oh what? You're telling me you've never thought about it?"

"Honestly I'm still amazed we haven't killed each other."

"Guess we were taking a little too long on the murder/suicide so fate had to intervene and finish us off," she rolled her eyes truly annoyed now, fury covered embarrassment quite well.

"Would it make you feel better that I've thought about it?"

She looked up, skepticism showing on her flawless features.

"I am a guy and you still haven't learned how to wear clothing."

She smirked.

"Feel better?" he questioned then turned to continue his examination of the room, though he was sure he would find nothing new.

"Jason?" her voice was soft again.

"What?"

"Can I tell you something for later?"

"Sure," he didn't dare turn around, the relief was only partial that she was starting to believe this wasn't the end because he was beginning to be sure it was, it would be better that she didn't have to suffer needlessly. _Waiting to die…_

"Won't mean anything to you now, but later on, in case you know…if there is, but we aren't together-"

His brow furrowed in confusion as he stared at the vault's door.

She laughed suddenly, "I'm sorry for after prom."

He turned back with a frown, at first confused, but he quickly realized she was telling him in case he was ever whole again. In case, there was something _after._

She sighed and tears instantly welled up in her eyes, "You've always been a better friend to me than I deserved. I'm-" she shrugged as her head fell to the side, "sorry I forced you into marrying me."

"Bren-"

She shook her head, "Maybe if I hadn't you and Courtney could have made it, you could have had the family you always wanted."

"Courtney and I-" he shook his head, "it's not your fault. Something's just aren't meant to be."

She smirked; it was just so philosophical for Jason. She opened her mouth to fight him.

He stopped her, "What did you do with Jason?"

Another unexpected laugh from her, "More like what I wouldn't do," she swore once she had gathered her wits.

He viewed her with skepticism.

"Trust me, I would have used that to make your life hell. That these two bodies had-" she gestured between them.

He was about to say it wouldn't have mattered, that it wouldn't have been him, but…There was that sudden tightening simply about the thought of them though. "Why didn't you?" he questioned instead, he could claim it was an attempt at keeping her thinking about something aside their eminent death or even something he should ask on behalf of Jason Quartermaine, in case he _was_ listening from somewhere.

She shook her head, lost somewhere in the memory. "It was Jason," her head swayed gently at the memory.

"I have no idea what that means."

She laughed suddenly, "Neither do I," her hand covered her mouth over the unexpected squawk. Then her eyes saddened once more, "Jason was amazing. He was funny, smart and kind. He was too good," her head shook slowly.

"Why do women always say that?"

She rolled her eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh, "We all have daddy issues?"

He sighed and slid down the wall next to her, "Living with you and living next to you, it wasn't horrible."

Her eyes lifted up to the ceiling as she let out a breath, "This is really it," she nodded not removing her gaze from the light fixture that just barely lit the room. "No more second chances."

He sighed as well, then turned to study her profile, "I-" he was about to apologize for that, but he stopped himself. He had a choice, they had a choice in how this would end, not when but how. "Maybe," she turned to his word, "once less regret though."

She looked confused and hesitant; she didn't speak in response, not even as Jason's fingertips traced her jaw just before he leaned in for a kiss. Not as his hand went into her hair as hers went around his neck. It was a slow burn that occurred as they explored each other, fascinated that this was what was simmering beneath their bickering for so many years. It hardly seemed fair that they were about to die just as he finally learned how to shut her up.

-x-X-x-

"Hmm," Brenda murmured against his chest. He'd rolled them after he regained the ability to think as he realized he had Brenda pinned against the cold bank floor. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but with her cradled on top of him, he realized he didn't exactly mind what was underneath him.

He returned her satisfied murmur as he ran his fingers along his back.

"No idea, I'd regretted it that much," the most words she'd spoken strung together since they'd begun and they were utterly contented.

He chuckled as his hand squeezed her waist reassuringly.

They didn't talk much in the minutes that followed as Jason's hand made up various paths across her back. It was comfortable and for once they didn't have to question, why that was, because why did that matter now?

Jason hit a spot that made Brenda squirm, which she did. She propped herself to look at him, smiling down, "Now I regret that we've only done this once."

He once more laughed as a hand lifted to cup the back of her head, pulling her in for a kiss as he accepted her challenge.

-x-X-x-

"Gah!" the high pitched squeal was complete with flaring limbs and a dropping flashlight, as lights had gone out completely some time ago, as Spinelli stumbled back as the vault door swung open to reveal his mentor and their next door neighbor in flagrante.

"What the," Maxie's annoyed question halted upon seeing what had upset Spinelli so much and kept her light shining on it. _Hmm who'd have ever thought beneath the stone would be such spectacular warm blooded flesh_. "Guess we didn't need to be in such a rush to rescue you," she casually remarked. "Have you been working out Jason?"

Jason who had quickly rolled them to the side, to block Brenda's body with his own and in doing so was sure to have blocked any matching yelp Brenda would have given, "Can you give us a moment?"

"Take all the time you need," Maxie's voice saccharin sweet, "want us to close the door, I mean we've got time, they're only set to blow this joint in ten minutes."

"Maxie!" Jason scolded.

"Oh calm down and get dressed," Maxie said walking into the room, retrieving their clothing and throwing it at them, "I'm pretty sure Spinelli is blind after that anyway."

"The Jackal did NOT see anything," he announced from just outside the vault where he was cowering into a wall.

"How the hell did you find us?" Brenda asked as she threw on her clothing.

"Max-" Spinelli's voice squeaked, he cleared his throat, "Maximista, once more in her completely impossible and improbable logic, hypothesized that in order to find you, we consider worst case scenarios first."

"Yea a bank being blown up, seems right up your alley," Maxie rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I see a new pair of Christian Louboutin's in your future," Brenda smiled as grabbed her shoes.

"Make it two," Jason nodded.

"Aww guys," blue eyes filled with emotion as she debated hugging them or at least Brenda.

"Six minutes," Spinelli squawked from his spot.

"Oh turn around," Brenda shook her head at him as she headed out of the vault, "we're going."

-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-

Do you want more of these? Yay or nay?


	16. Moments in Life Part 2

AN: May I just say THIS IS LONG, or at least feels it, like seriously took forever to finish. Thanks for the amazing reviews again guys, seriously you guys blow my mind. Remember while you're reading this was started prior to Spixie's relationship. Btw Kirsten Storms totally has the VM kinda of chemistry with her costars, aside from Franco, I think everyone they pair her with is a great match.

Part 2 to Ch.14

* * *

_The Path to_

(Moments in Life Pt 2)

By the time they finally arrived back at Harbor View Towers, the mood had faded from happy to be alive to cranky, hungry and awkward because being delayed for an hour by the police commissioner who saw his only remaining daughter emerge from a building that had been set to blow in four minutes, did not allow for an easy escape. Mac had eventually let them go as he dragged the entire demolition crew down to the station, to figure out for starters why the proper precautions hadn't been taken regarding the sweep of the building.

"I need a shower," the disgust evident in Brenda's voice as she held out her arms in repulsion as the threesome rode the elevator in silence as they had been since Mac had refused to let Maxie leave with them, "and real food."

"The Jackal apologizes the most he could find was the candy, but as-"

"Shh," she hushed with two sets of hands making the gesture.

"Do you want me to order something?" Jason questioned, seeing Brenda in the light of day, exhausted, disheveled, with a bump on the back of her head that rivaled his, _she had almost died because of his life._

"No," she shook her head avoiding eye contact with him, "I'm just going to toss in an Eggo in or something."

Just then the doors opened and they were greeted by Tony, one of the regular guards outside of their doors. "Max called, are you two alright?" he questioned.

"Hungry and tired," Brenda answered for them both, "they got our keys, we'll need new locks."

"I'll get someone right on it," he catered to Brenda, anticipating her every move after working basically for her for months, he opened the door for her. "Do you want me to send someone out for food?"

"No," she shook her head at him, "thanks, I'm just going to crash for awhile."

"Do you want me to wait till you wake up for the locks?" he questioned after her as she was already midway through the living room.

She yawned as if on cue as she shook her head, "I could sleep through an earthquake at this point. Thanks," she smiled at him just before starting up the stairs.

Tony shut the door behind her as Jason resisted the urge to scowl.

_Who exactly did that guy work for? _"Let me know when she wakes up," he nodded at the door before heading into his apartment after Spinelli.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Okay let it out," Maxie said shutting the door to Spinelli's room after a full morning of hanging out in Mac's office, followed by an early lunch with her stepfather. All the time knowing what was festering, what was running through her best friend's head and picking out what shoes she wanted on her iPhone to pass the time, _she wondered if she could talk them up to three. _

"ODYSSEUS!" Spinelli screeched, Maxie rubbed her ears and was grateful Jason had been walking out the door as she had been walking in.

"I know Spinelli," she nodded sympathetically. She caught sight of her longer blond locks with the movement, she tugged on an end that went just past her shoulders and wondered how she felt about growing out her hair; _it had been time for a change. Maybe it made her look too juvenile. _Then she smiled remembering how Matt had lost the ability to speak the other day when she pulled her hair out of the casual updo she'd been wearing for work, then frowned. _Matt was a jackass. A cute jackass, but a jackass nevertheless. _

"Ugh," it was the highest of the Spinelli near words as he flared about his room and it pulled her out of the sad state of her love life if she was considering Matt a possibility. "Odysseus!"

"Spinelli, I think you're forgetting something," she said collapsing into his desk chair and crossing her arms. "Now I may not have my facts straight cause let's be honest it's been a few years and even then I only read the Cliff Notes, Odysseus was never resistant to the Sirens' song. Didn't he have to be tied up or something?" She ignored the twist in her gut as she always did as she heard the names Odysseus and Siren, Cliff Notes had only done so much; her brilliant little Georgie had helped fill in the blanks.

"Yes, but-"

"And wasn't Jason dying today?"

"Odysseus had no reason left to resist," he said forlornly as he dropped down onto the edge of his bed.

"Spinelli?" she asked with crinkling eyes, "you didn't really think they fight so much because they didn't like each other did you?" She knocked her head to the side, "I mean seriously, we should be amazed it took them this long to jump each other."

"You don't-" his eyes widened in horror, "think this is going to continue do you?"

She sighed as she stood and walked over to him, a hand on his shoulder as she said, "I'd invest in earplugs if I were you."

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Thank god," Brenda said ripping the large brown takeout bag from Jason's hand, "I'm starving."

"You're welcome," he said shrugging after his greeting -less welcome, to her back that was already quickly retreating to the dining room table.

"Do you want real utensils?" she asked as she started to empty the bag.

"I'll get them," he shook his head as she was already trying to pop the lid off the rib container without it splattering.

"Thank you," she called out as she cleaned a finger and moaned in delight.

"We're eating at the table?" he asked with a frown as he returned to the room to see her seated with a sparerib in her mouth.

"There is no way in hell I'm vacuuming today," she said looking at the fried rice. As it was there were still probably bits left to the carpet after their last meal.

He shrugged and sat down shoving her utensils over to her.

"So any idea who locked us in a bank vault to be blown up?" she said as she discarded the bone and moved to pull the lo mien in close to her.

"It's being looked into. Can I get some before you eat it all?" he asked rolling his eyes as she managed to fit an eighth of the container on her fork, using the rib top as her plate as bits fell.

She glared at him and he pulled the container towards him, turning it over and dumping part on his plate.

"Don't take it all!" she exclaimed through a full mouth.

"It isn't even half Brenda," he followed with a loud breath through his nose; he really didn't have the patience for this today. They ate with grunts and half sentences until their stomach had stretched to uncomfortably full.

"So are we going to talk about-"

She stared blankly at him, "I was seriously almost blown up six hours ago."

"Fine," he shrugged, "the point is I offered."

She glared at him. "Now you want to talk?"

He shrugged again.

"Fine Jason," she threw her shoulders back and leaned against the chair, "let's talk."

He debated backing down, but maybe there was something in her words today about regrets. "Did you sleep with me or Jason Quartermaine?"

"I don't recall sleeping," she countered.

"Fine did you have sex with me or Jason Quartermaine?"

"You are aware you're the same person right?" She asked in perfect Brenda drawl.

He glared.

She answered, "Fine I was curious about both."

"Were you in love with Jason?"

"Is this an interrogation?"

He was on a roll he wasn't stopping, "I thought we were talking."

"Fine then no."

He stared at her, "I don't believe you."

"Could I have been? Yes. Was I? No."

His mind hurt when she Brenda spoke, he frowned.

"It would have been easy to fall in love with him."

"The Daddy issue thing?"

"He deserved better than me."

Jason frowned at that. _There was an issue between deserving and wanting. _

"Why did you sleep with me?" she quickly countered.

He frowned.

"Talking remember?"

"I don't know."

"Was it pity?" her voice tensed for the question.

"No," he shook his head. "I wanted to."

"Why?"

"There was just this," he shook his head, "pull to."

"Desperation? Because we were dying?"

He shook his head, "It wasn't because we were dying." He frowned. "Or it was because we were dying, it didn't make any sense not to?" _No attempts at a relationship that would fail miserably, no people that would be hurt by it. _"Probably the same reason you said it."

She nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. "We're alive though."

"We are."

"I probably wouldn't have mentioned it if I thought we were going to live through that."

"Yea probably not."

"Morning after talk," she shrugged. "afternooon after."

"So what next?"

"We probably shouldn't do that again," she nodded. "I mean let's be honest you and me in a relationship. That's pretty much doomed to fail before it starts."

"Probably."

She nodded.

He waited.

Then a thought came to her. "We aren't seeing anyone though."

"Right," he nodded.

"And the sex was good."

"A little bit better than that."

"I don't know about you, but I really have no desire for a relationship for awhile."

"Definitely not," he was quick to agree.

"We're two consenting adults," another bob, "as long as no one knows. What harm could it do?"

"Sounds good."

"Good," she nodded, "definitely not now though because I'd completely explode. I think I ate enough for a week."

Just like that, with an unnaturally small amount of bickering, with the pros and cons weighed, it was decided. They had been at the end and realized that regrets came from inaction and at least for today and maybe tomorrow, they would be brave.

"Want to watch a movie?" she asked.

"Its shark week," he countered.

"Ugh," she groaned, "fine. You're lucky we don't live by an ocean."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Um what are you doing?" Maxie asked as she spied Spinelli at the peephole of the penthouse.

"Shhh," he flared his hands backwards.

"What are we looking at?" She whispered as she approached the door.

"Siren's call pulling Odysseus in."

"Oh god, not this again, I thought you decided that nothing was going on."

"That was until Stone Cold began going to Brenda's before coming home."

"Brenda and Jason always hang out," Maxie pointed out, "and you and Brenda squabble like five year olds, which is why it's normally at her place."

"Yes and the Jackal understands that, however the fact is Stone Cold prior to his brush with death and entirely too many parts of his brushing against Siren, would always return home and then traverse the hallway."

"Oh brother" she rolled her eyes. "How do you even know Jason's on his way home?"

"I may have perhaps asked Max to call me under the guise of-" he frowned, "does that really matter?"

"Well yea, because now I want to know what Max-"

"Shh," he flared again.

Jason stepped off the elevator, nodded at Tony, and knocked on Brenda's door. He was inside in seconds.

"Again!" His finger lifted, "Siren will destroy him, bash him against the rocks-"

"Melodramatic again Spinelli," she stopped him.

"You do not understand-"

"I understand that Jason is a grown man. So if they are sleeping together you need to get over it."

"Stone Cold would not be hiding this were he not ashamed of it. He knows that his actions are wrong and-"

"Seriously? You hate Brenda. Sonny's in love with Brenda. Carly hates Brenda. Edward would probably have Brenda locked up in Ferncliff or wherever they're sending the nutjobs these days. I mean come on."

"The Jackal does not hate Siren, I merely do not appreciate the fact that she routinely creates mayhem and-"

Maxie stopped him with a single look.

"Do you really think Stone Cold is not informing me because he thinks I would not approve?"

"You don't approve," she pointed out.

"If being with Siren will bring Stone Cold joy, I-"

"You what Spinelli?"

"I, as you would say, will learn to deal."

"Great so maybe you should tell that to Jason because they were totally doing it in the kitchen when we came in the other day."

"Wha-" the words got caught in his throat as he gagged, "what?"

"You didn't notice how quickly Jason came out and kept us from going in even though you were thirsty? Brenda trying not to look frantic when she came out? The fact that she kept smoothing her clothes?"

"GAH!" He threw his hands up in the air.

"You should probably get that out of your system before you talk to Jason," she nodded at him.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"What are you doing?" Jason asked walking into the kitchen, "the living room smells like a pool."

Spinelli looked over from where he was scrubbing the counter for the second time, "Where we eat?" he asked in disgust.

"What are you talking about?"

"The Jackal is not blind; did you and Siren really think you could keep your relationship a secret from _me_?"

"We're not in a relationship."

"You fornicate with women you're not in a relationship with in **our kitchen**?" When Jason didn't respond fast enough for him, he continued on in exasperation, "Perhaps you could just inform me where exactly the deed took place, so I know where to focus my sanitization efforts."

"It was just the chair Spinelli," he nodded at his normal place. _They hadn't meant to, they'd meant to just have lunch. "_

"The room where I eat!" his hands once more flared out.

"Spinelli what are you doing?" he asked as the young man went and picked up the chair.

"Do I eat on your bed?"

Jason slowly followed after Spinelli, waiting in the living room as the chair was disposed of outside of the apartment. "Do you feel better?" Jason asked once the door was shut.

"It may take me months to feel clean," Spinelli said walking away in disgust.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jason sat on the floor in front of the coffee table in what used to be Sonny's penthouse, but had become Brenda's several days into her return to Port Charles when she decided to stay for awhile and Jason decided there could very easily be a massacre, if he, Spinelli and Brenda all continued living together. Brenda, like normal had a bite of the spicy tuna roll in her mouth before he had even settled himself on the floor and had barely greeted him as she ripped the bags out of his hands. Now however, she had her second piece of the California roll held in the chopsticks. Which was odd, he normally picked up the California roll for her for the next day or a late night snack; now though she was eating it before the Spicy Crab Caviar Roll that she normally made noises over that she didn't even make for him. It was Brenda though, he almost laughed at himself for thinking her predictable.

He wondered about that though, wondered about the predictability of their lives currently.

Every time they saw each other for nearly two weeks after the bank, the phrases, 'We shouldn't be doing this,' and 'this is wrong,' were uttered, along with a vow of secrecy.

After that just the occasional vow of secrecy as they continued on with their normal lives, only their normal lives now somehow oddly included sex and frequent sex at that, much to the dismay of Spinelli.

Aside from the fact that Brenda was still dating, Jason found his life existing almost in balance. A complacency he had never found for long was now a part of his life; he had come to the shocked realization that he was happy. Their lives mainly existed in a bubble that was the top floor of Habor View Towers; the only people aware of their affair were Spinelli, Maxie and the guards at the door.

"What's wrong?" he asked hoping to cut off whatever had her picking at her food.

"Nothing," she was quick to deny.

He felt that complacency slipping away, the worry slipping in, he wondered about that last guy she'd gone out with, she had been out with him twice, was she starting to rethink their relationship? It had been agreed to as a short term thing, but Jason found despite the short term having ended, he wasn't ready for them to end. "Something's wrong, just tell me."

"I'm pregnant," she informed him bluntly, turning and keeping her eyes locked with his never blinking.

_She didn't look like she was joking. _"You're serious?"

"Five weeks, when I had strep throat," she continued not to blink.

_The antibiotics. _Apparently he hadn't been as careful as he thought. "Are you okay?"

"Kelly said I was fine," she nodded.

"Okay," he nodded back trying to process it. _Brenda was pregnant. She wasn't ending things._

"I'm going to start looking for a new place," she nodded and turned away.

_Brenda was pr- "_What?"

"A baby isn't temporary. You've said it yourself that you don't have the kind of life for children."

He had. He had said it repeatedly to remind himself why he had to stay away from Jake.

No baby. No Brenda. He had come to terms with the first, but the second…

"I've been out on enough dates that no one will even-"

"You've already decided," they were both looking straight ahead now, away from each other.

"It's for the best."

_Best for who? _Jason wondered as he felt gutted. She was leaving him. She was leaving him and taking their child. "Best for who?" he hoarsely asked.

She turned, "Jason, I'm just doing what you-"

"I know what I said," he roughly nodded. _Regrets. _He remembered what led them to this. "Don't leave."

She turned away again, "I can't Jason. After Michael and everything-"

"I'll get out," he replied on instinct. He realized now he was struggling to stay alive; he would do anything it took to keep her.

"I'm not some child Jason that needs you to take care of them. I don't want to be your responsibility," her voice was raised and firm, ready for a fight. "I'm not an obligation you need to-"

"Don't leave," he was ready to crack at the thought of her walking out of his life. Obligation, that word rang in his ears. Sonny had been the only one to truly believe in him. So he stayed. He stayed when he was hurt; he stayed when others he loved were hurt. He couldn't keep sacrificing happiness, his own and others. He could stay friends with Carly, he could watch over Michael, but he would have to avoid Sonny. He would have to in order to keep Brenda and their child safe.

"Ja-"

"I-" he shook his head, "I love you. Don't leave me."

"You can't just abandon Sonny," she said in defeat. He had tried; everyone tried to get and keep him out, but he always went back.

Sacrifice Sonny for Brenda, even Sonny would tell him there was no other option, the fact that Jason's own happiness was dependent on it, wouldn't even factor in. "Sonny's a grown man; he can take care of himself."

"J-"

"If I let you walk away, I would regret it for the rest of my life."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Try as he might, Spinelli, while he had considered himself to be a man of great vision had been unable to picture his mentor as he was just now, despite years of trying. Jason Morgan, family man.

_"What? What?" the terror in his voice was evident as his life crumpled down before his eyes," Like a quaint little cottage with a white picket fence?"_

_Jason laughed, "Brenda doesn't know the meaning of the word little when I'm paying for it."_

_His mouth opened again to further emphasize how…how…wrong this was. _

_"The penthouse is yours for however long you want it," Jason readily offered, money didn't mean anything to him with everything Spinelli had done for him there was no monetary equivalent. He would sign the apartment over in a second if he thought the other man could make the maintenance or taxes on it._

_"Oh," the terror slightly abated in his eyes, he was not being forced out onto the street. "The Jackal still cannot picture Stone Cold living the scene of domestic bliss behind a white picket fence."_

_Jason once more laughed, "Don't worry, it's wrought iron, it'll be good to keep the dog in."_

_"Oh," he responded, not sure in relief, until the second to last word registered, "DOG?"_

Sure enough the 30 pound brown and white mop, that Brenda had named Toby, after being informed by Jason that if she named the dog, Sir Didymus, he would continue to call the dog, Dog, rested underneath the chaise lounge Brenda was residing on was Robin sat on an ottoman painting the toenails she was having trouble reaching, a shade she had deemed 'obnoxiously red.' With an inward scoff he recalled how quickly he was vetoed that if the dog should have any name from Labyrinth, it should have been that of Sir Didymus' stead, Ambrosius.

He thought of Jason's laughter as he had babbled on and on about the inappropriateness of someone like Stone Cold living in a cottage with a picket white fence. Granted his horrified mental picture of where Siren and Stone Cold would cohabitate had been vastly different than the large stone Tudor house he had helped them move into, with 6 bedrooms and a half an acre of land that held a pool, it was certainly not a symbol of upstate suburban living.

However, as Stone Cold cautiously viewed the steaks on the barbeque and Brenda had a free hand dropped down to feed the dog one of the potato chips she was eating as she laughed over something Robin had said, as Maxie was laughing louder than Emma as she pushed her on the plastic red and yellow swing Jason had affixed to the tree just hours earlier, something hit Spinelli.

"She was never Siren," he whispered.

Jason turned, not having fully heard what was said. "Hmm?" he prompted when Spinelli didn't repeat it.

"She was never Siren," he stated the awed fact slightly louder, leaving his mouth agape at the end, signaling his thought wasn't quite done. "She was always Penelope. The home Odysseus struggled to reach. The suitors were never…" he shook his head in amazement, stunned he could have missed such a great fact. He turned to see Jason smiling, "I didn't, I never…"

Jason couldn't help, but chuckle softly, "If it makes you feel better Spinelli, I had no clue either."

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it because as always it was hijacked by the characters. :-P


	17. In the Blink of an Eye

AN: Yea there was a movie that started off the idea for this little fic, not particularly good, but it had a great, hysterically sobbing ending. I wanted to name it after the movie, but that would TOTALLY be mean to people who haven't seen it (and might want to). If you want to know the name, I'll PM it back to you if you ask.

This is a different set of little scenes than the last The Path to, you should be able to quickly see what I'm doing with it (hopefully), very similar of the idea within the last of the Brazen shuffle ficlets, only this is the aftermath to another person's future that was right at the tip of their fingers. Oh and SK's eyes appear different to me with every picture I look at, I'll just go with a nice simple blue for this fic. :-P

Umm thanks for reading, I hope I didn't just confuse you as much as I confused myself with that AN. Oh and with 7 reviews you guys are definitely getting more of the last little group of scenes (super thanks guys!), but this one wanted me to keep writing it as well since I put in extra time on the other yesterday. :-P

* * *

The Path To…

(In the Blink of an Eye)

_Seven seconds. _

_Less time than needed for a sneeze and a 'bless you.'_

_Than remembering what you walked into a room for. _

_The amount of time it took him to actually feel the pain when he'd hurt himself drinking. _

_Seven seconds was nothing. _

_It was ten clicks of the remote and an Emily scolding of, 'Hey!'_

_Seven seconds was long before silence became uncomfortable. _

_Sometimes though seven seconds can feel like an eternity._

_Sometimes you can live a lifetime in the blink of an eye. _

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Don't shoot, it's just-" it was too late though, the frightened officer's finger tightened on the trigger before the words even entered his mind.

The crimson spread quickly across the stomach Jason Morgan's white shirt and the hunt for the escaped criminal Anthony Zacchara was forgotten.

The fair-haired officer felt the adrenalin surge through him as he leapt out of his crouched position, realizing he had shot someone trying to help.

As the younger man charged towards him, he noticed there was no fear on the mobster's face, just shock, "me," he said mere seconds after he had begun as his finger tips came away blood soaked from his shirt. He hit the ground before the other man reached him.

His eyes had closed for good before the younger man even finished calling in the code.

-x-x-X-x-x-

Blue eyes widened as AJ's hands remained clenched on the steering wheel. The tree was coming; there would be no stopping the impact. There was only one option as his mind showed him in those seven seconds.

He had no future without Jason. He would never live in a world without his little brother. It was more than he didn't want to, it was that he couldn't.

Golden Boy was more than a nickname born out of scorn and resentment, it was the truth. Things were made better simply by Jason's presence, events changed, luck changed because Jason deserved it, he deserved the world. The world might not deserve Jason, but Jason deserved the world. The last thing AJ could allow was for him to be taken from it.

His hands left the wheel and he launched his upper body across the seat, clutching onto his brother with all of his might. AJ was his big brother; he had only one job of any importance in this world, to keep his little brother safe. It was the only role that had ever mattered to him, the only one he had even come close to being good at, he would not allow the past few years of failures to override that fact. That role could not end in anything aside from success. He would love Jason to the end and this was it.

-x-x-X-x-x-

Jason could still hear his mother crying, 'Oh god no. Not my baby. Not again. Not AJ.' Could still hear as the distraught voice filled with hatred as his father tried to comfort her, 'No. Don't you dare act like you grieve for him, you did this. You and Edward killed my son. You killed AJ and you almost killed Jason too.'

Jason was alone now in the hospital room by choice, he couldn't deal with them; he couldn't comfort them, no not while he was trying to wake up from this nightmare.

AJ would be fine; he always managed to be somehow, a resilient body in exchange for a battered mind. _This was all a bad dream._

"They say you're cleared to go home," Ned quietly announced as he walked towards the bed.

He stared blankly at his cousin, even Ned looked distraught. _AJ would laugh and say that definitely made it a dream. _

"I'll take you home if you're ready," still more quiet words, not a hint of betraying why Jason was lying on a hospital bed and had been forced to endure every test the hospital offered to ensure he was fine as he'd been telling them.

_Fine…What a joke of a word. _

"I have your clothing," Ned lifted the bad he'd been carrying since they'd made Jason disrobe.

All Jason could see in the clear bag was the white shirt; AJ had been wearing one as well. He could see the arm of it as Ned woke him up as Ned was screaming their names; saw the white collar hiding most of his brother's neck, and the back of brother's resolutely still head. He remembered mumbling AJ's name, stopping himself from shaking him as he tried again, then his voice grew stronger, his eyes opened wider, his fingers sought a pulse on his brother's neck. He remembered screaming that AJ wasn't breathing; he remembered Ned tearing open the door, remembered as Ned pulled AJ out as he stumbled out after him. His brother in the snow, the split second before he began CPR.

"He was smiling," Jason whispered.

"What?" Ned asked the wall had over taken his mind too, as hard as he tried to be present; it was as if he was existing in a fog.

"Never mind," Jason said with a shake of his head as he slid out of bed.

-x-x-X-x-x-

Ned's car was silent for the first few minutes of the car ride home as they swiftly drove through town, three lights in though they were finally stopped by a red, Ned's anxiety suddenly grew apparent and the power button of the radio was his desperate attempt at blocking out the scenes replaying in his head. He wanted to scream, he wanted to beat his hands against the steering wheel; he wanted to cry, no actually, he wanted to sob. He couldn't do that though, he didn't deserve that, especially not in front of Jason. Jason had just lost his brother.

Dawn's brother.

It would be five years in a few short months. _Five years already._

She would have been appalled at how he treated her brother, his cousin.

Ned was so lost in his own thoughts and contemplating his abysmal treatment of AJ that he hadn't even realized how close they were to the house as he drove on auto pilot.

Jason's sharp "No," caused him to slam on the brakes. He turned to his cousin, "I can't…" Jason's eyes grew wide and his breath shallow.

"Do you need to go back to the hospital?"

His head shook, "I can't," his eyes remained transfixed on the start of the driveway several yards in front of them, only visible because of the lights.

It hit Ned like a sledgehammer as he realized the insensitivity of his actions as he nearly drove his cousin up past the spot where his brother had died hours earlier, where he had fought in vain to save a life already gone.

"God Jason," his eyes closed, "I'm sorry, I didn't even think."

"I can't Ned," was all he said.

"No…" his head shook, "I understand. Do you want me to take you to Mary Mae's house?"

"I…I think I want to be alone."

"You're not alone though Jason, you know that right?"

"Yea," Jason replied automatically. Of course he wasn't alone; it just felt as if half of him was missing.

-x-x-X-x-x-

He ignored the knock at his door at first as he sat by the window. When it increased to banging he stood, knowing soon he would have to deal with hotel security if he didn't open it. However empty he felt, he was not, it seemed, to be offered the relief of actually being alone.

Her eyes were bloodshot as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. He actually smiled at how comical she looked with her pink plaid pajama bottoms peaking out from the crack in her long black coat, her white gym sneakers that she never wore out in public completed the ensemble. Then he remembered why Brenda had suddenly appeared so frantically at his door.

Her head shook in despair, Brenda didn't know how to handle these things, she had no concept of how to offer him sympathy when all she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and cry. She flung herself at him and he immediately gathered her tight in his arms, "I'm so sorry," she cried into his white undershirt.

He didn't say anything; he just held her and refused to give in to his own tears that brimmed at the surface upon hearing hers. "You're freezing," he finally realized to say, cold hands, cold cheek, wet hair.

"I'm fine," she said clutching on to him as he tried to pull back.

"Ned call you?"

She nodded into his shoulder, "I was asleep," she suddenly gasped, "I couldn't understand what he was saying, I thought you were both gone." She pulled in a long shuddering breath, "God Jason I'm so sorry."

_God. _He hated that word more than fine. If that omnipotent being existed, he was a jackass that rivaled his grandfather.

"I wish I knew what to say," he could feel the tip of her nose into him as she shook her head.

He simply sighed as he pulled her into the room with him so he could shut the door. "Come on," he gently ordered moments later as he once more tried to disengage from her, "Your coat's wet." She stepped back and looked down at herself and realized she must have looked the fool running the several blocks between Kelly's and PCH, faster than driving though.

She stood in silence as Jason worked the buttons of her coat before realizing what was going on, "I can," she shook her head as his fingers left her and her own completed the task. They were oddly silent as the wool coat was removed, as she hastily wiped away tears, as he brushed back hair that had been slightly dampened by the falling snow.

She slid back into his arms without a word, he once more sighed as he tightened his hold on her. "I'm tired," he eventually said.

"I'm not leaving," she responded.

"Didn't expect you to," his head lifted from where it had been resting on hers and he once more disengaged.

He walked around to the bed he had never gotten around to climbing into, although he had stripped down to his boxers for the task.

She kicked off her sneakers and automatically frowned at just how cold the bottoms of her pants were after soaking in the snow. She walked around to the other side and climbed in as he did.

She curled into his side with a long sigh, "I should have called Robin."

"Rob-"

She cut him off, "I know."

"Stone just died," he finished his thought anyway.

"She'd know what to say though," Brenda whispered.

He let out a sad short laugh, "Trust me, I have never wanted to talk less."

She nodded into his shoulder again, "When you do," her voice cracked and he dropped his head down to see her tear filled eyes, "I'm here, we're all here for you."

His head rolled back up and his eyes closed. _All but AJ._

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x--x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

Jason Quartermaine did not like Jasper Jacks. Granted he hated Sonny Corinthos more, but after trying to take over ELQ, hitting on his cousin-in-law and playing along with Brenda's little game of winning back Sonny, he could honestly say that he did not like Jasper Jacks. He hadn't realized quite how much until right now as Jax was sharing the news that he was going to take Brenda out of Port Charles to convalesce after the hit and run. Jax was a large part of the reason Brenda was lying in that hospital bed, a large part of why her heart had stopped as they all watched helplessly from the windows, unable to do anything. Jason had failed his brother; he would not make the same mistake with Brenda.

"She isn't going anywhere with you," the words came out curtly and they caught Jax off guard.

"What," Jax's dimples flared, part of his charm that normally worked wonders on both genders, "you think she's better off in town with Corinthos."

"No, I think you were right, I think Brenda could use some time out of town and in the sun, she just isn't going anywhere with you."

"Just then who is she going with?" Jax's smile fell, the uneasy truce between him and Brenda's fellow Kelly's boarder was finally gone.

"You aren't the only one with a private plane and a beach house Jax. Brenda needs some time to be Brenda, if you come near the island, I'll make sure Edward has you arrested."

-x-x-X-x-x--x-x-X-x-x-

"This is amazing," Brenda announced as she joined Jason out on the patio.

He turned to her words, glad his eyes were hidden by the dark lenses of his sunglasses because while his eyes held panic and fear over the dark bruises that marred her perfect flesh, he also noticed that perfect flesh in the black string bikini. "Just what the doctor ordered," and they had, both of his parents on their own had expressed relief at this sudden vacation, though he was sure it was more for his sake than Brenda's. They were both starting to panic that come the end of May, Jason wouldn't return to finish out his final semester of college and their dreams of medical school would vanish for him.

She smiled brightly.

"Find everything alright?"

"Yea Robin's amazing; remind me to kiss her when we get back. String bikinis are definitely the way to go when you can't exactly bend," she flicked the black tie as she recalled having the realization as she'd tried to get into it at first without untying it, underwear were bad enough without adding a tight swimsuit to her daily challenge.

He smiled at her, "Jacuzzi should be warm by now."

"God that sounds amazing," her eyes closed in bliss, but were quickly opened in surprise and she yelped as she felt herself being scooped up into Jason's arms.

"How exactly did you think you were going to get in?" he asked as he walked with her cradled against him to the free stand feature on their patio.

-x-x-X-x-x--x-x-X-x-x-

"Ten bucks they think you beat me," she smirked as she draped the white cover up she had just stripped off across the top of the beach chair they had just rented.

"I think I'd actually prefer that to what happened," he say wryly as he studied the yellowing bruises that covered the area by her hip, they clashed with the electric blue bikini she was wearing, he wouldn't have noticed, but she had informed him so on the drive over to the public beach she had wanted to visit. In his eyes she was beautiful; moving, breathing, existing, she was amazingly and breathtakingly alive.

She stopped what she was doing and gave him a look.

He shook his head and looked away, disgusted with himself for even thinking the words let alone saying them.

She huffed and lowered her nearly pain free body onto the chair.

He mimicked her actions before leaning down to toss his shirt into the beach bag they had brought. He fingered her magazine and was about to ask her if she wanted it yet, when rage suddenly filled him. "Your heart stopped, do you get that Brenda? Can you blame me if there are times I just want to shake you and scream some sense into you?" His words were harsh, but he kept his voice low.

"Jason, I know-" her temper flared as well.

"No you don't-" he cut her off, "you have no idea. Because it would just be over for you. I stood at that window. Lois and Ned stood at that window, Alan had to shock you. It would be over for you and the rest of us would have to live with it."

Her temper died and she nervously glanced at everything, but him.

"You make one bad decision and your life is over, and you just keep making it over and over. How many chances do you think you're going to get until you're like AJ and Stone?"

"I know," she whispered, still unable to look at him.

He flung himself off of his lounge and pulled her up by her arms as he sat down on her chair. "Robin's strong, she's probably the strongest person I know, but how do you think she's going to survive losing you too? Six months, you, AJ and Stone?"

"I know," she swore as she looked up with tear filled eyes, his own had glazed over as well.

"You can't keep doing this Brenda; Sonny isn't just married; his life will destroy you," his tears ready to fall.

"I know," she shook her head gently, "I know Jason, it's just…" she shook her head some more.

"No Brenda," he blinked and the tears fell.

"I suggest you let go of the lady," Jason turned back in confusion, though never lessening his firm hold on Brenda, the neon green banana hammock killed his ability to respond.

"Oh no its okay, it was a car not him, I'm actually amazing he can kill a spider," she ended her declaration with a frown thinking Jason was definitely more the type to gently lift with paper and toss out a window, she thanked god he went against type in that area, she'd hate to be in charge of her own bug removal.

Jason looked back at her in confusion.

"Lose the death grip," she gently offered and wriggled her arms.

"Oh," he released her.

"Thank you for checking though," she smiled up brightly at the man.

"You sure?" The buff bronzed speedo wearing man asked.

"Yea I'm just reminding her of the danger of not looking both ways before she crosses the street," he said looking intently at Brenda.

"I know Jason," she vowed to him.

"Ok," the man drawled as he walked away from the two lunatics he had tried to help.

"Told you they thought you beat me," she smirked at him.

"Told you," he said swiftly moving back into his chair, "I'm still not sure that's a bad idea."

"Jase-" she called out a moment later.

His head dropped to the side and he saw her staring back at him.

"I really am over Sonny," she rolled her eyes at herself before he could, "or at least over trying to get back together with Sonny."

He sighed, let his head roll back and closed his eyes.

Brenda realizing he had disconnected on the subject unscrewed her water bottle, she was taking a sip as-

"I can't believe that guy tried to rescue you in a banana hammock."

Water sputtered forth.

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

"Why do we live in Kellys?" Brenda asked as she sat at the island in the kitchen cutting a tomato for their salad.

"Huh?" was Jason's eloquent response as he focused on not burning the shrimp he had cooking in the skillet.

"I mean I know why we moved into Kelly's, but seriously Jason, why the hell do we still live there? I earn a good living and you're a Quartermaine."

"I don't know. It's convenient? Especially considering neither of us cook?" Cook swore to him they could manage this recipe, but he still wasn't sure. The timer dinged, the timer he had set for 2 minutes, they seriously had no skills in the kitchen, all they could do was follow the recipe precisely and hope for the best.

"How hard can it be seriously?" she questioned as she moved to join him next to the stove as he scooped shrimp out.

"Brenda, you wouldn't even devein the shrimp and you're the one that wanted to stay in tonight," he pointed out.

"You're starting medical school soon, gross things are right up your alley. I chopped the garlic even though my hands are going to smell for days," she countered.

"That actually goes in now," Jason said as he scooped out his last shrimp.

Brenda tossed in the bowl full of their next set of ingredients, it sizzled, and she jumped back.

Jason laughed, "I don't think it's going to attack you."

"Hey I'm allowed to startle easily these days," she rolled her eyes.

"So are you thinking of moving out?" Jason hid his frown as he stirred the ingredients. Brenda was part of the reason he liked living at Kelly's, it was nice having company just next door and that had nothing to do with the fact she normally forgot her robe and left the bathroom in just a towel. Jason had never actually lived alone, he wondered what exactly the appeal of it was, if Brenda moved out though, he supposed he would do the same, after all Kelly's did have some serious drawbacks and he certainly wasn't about to move in with his mother and Emily, especially since Pierce Dorman was now a regular visitor at their new home.

"I don't know," her voice took on a whiny tone, "I don't really want to live on my own. I think I'm kind of over that," she pouted and shrugged.

Jason smirked.

"Hey you know what Jase?" she said with sudden enthusiasm.

"What?" he asked trying to hide his smile at her poor attempt hiding her what she wanted as she tried to lead him into it.

"We should get a place together," she bumped his arm with her hand despite the fact that he was trying to stir the spices cooking on the stove.

"Really?"

"Yea, I mean we've pretty much lived together twice now. What's the difference between Kelly's or the house and an apartment?"

"I'm thinking quite a few square feet."

"Oh come on Jason it would be great. We could have a living room again, but we'd both have tvs in our own rooms. We could get a three bedroom so we could have an office/gym."

"I don't know Brenda," his eyes narrowed. He wasn't too sure Keesha would be thrilled over this idea. He had been thinking of proposing this summer, last summer, but after AJ and the destruction of his family, he knew that was still a long way off.

"Oh come on Jason, just think about it, it would be great."

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

Jason sat with a notepad in his hands, as Brenda's feet rested on his lap after a dinner of only slightly overcooked shrimp scampi with pasta. "I don't think they actually have such a thing as an idiot proof kitchen," he chuckled over the third item on her list.

"Well they should," she scowled.

"Come on focus, real things. Three bedroom, two bath, second floor or elevator…"

"It would be nice if there was some outdoor space."

"Balcony," Jason repeated as he copied down the word.

"Or a garden," she bobbed her head in correction. "Oh maybe we could find a first floor apartment, in a brownstone like Bobbie's." She pushed herself up by her elbows as she looked at him excitedly, "We could get a dog then."

"You know dogs require care right?" he questioned.

She scowled again and dropped back down.

"Maybe a cat," he tried to appease her, they could get an automatic feeder at least for that. "So you want to look at first floor brownstones," he nodded.

"Uck," she made a face, "we'd have people above and below us. I am so over people. I wonder if you can hear them next door with a brownstone."

"The walls would at least be thicker than an apartment." _And certainly Kelly's._

"I suppose," she sighed. "It would be nice though. Have a little cabin far away from people who want to be all up in your business. A garden. An actual view of nature and not just other buildings."

Jason snickered.

"What?" she asked with attitude.

"Just trying to picture you in a cabin."

She slammed his leg into the edge of the couch with her foot. Jason laughed and tossed the pad down before moving to capture her feet and tickle them until she apologized.

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

"I do actually have several listings for brownstones with garden access, of course realize you'll be paying more and you lessen your options significantly if you want sole access," Kimberly, the realtor his mother had just used informed him over the phone as Brenda was in her room getting ready to go out the next evening.

"Money isn't an issue," Jason quickly informed.

"Of course not," Jason could almost hear the realtor's smile over the phone, "now let's just go over your requirements one more time and I'll get together a list for you."

"You know-"

"Yes?"

"Can you actually include a few houses? Small? Maybe on the outskirts of town, still close to the main roads though? Not too close to the neighbors?"

"Are you still looking to rent?"

"Either," he shook his head, mostly at himself for even giving in to the possibility of Brenda's idea.

"We have the listing for the most adorable cottage on the edge of town. It has a lot of original woodwork, that gives the house the perfect quaint, cozy cottage feel. Three bedrooms, an office, two and a half baths, the bedrooms are a little on the small side, but with all the land you'd have outside and the living room is a great size... I can actually fax you the listing right now."

"That sounds great."

"Okay, I'll go ahead and do that. I'll get started on putting together a list of other possibilities that we can go look at once you two return."

"Sounds good, thank you, Kimberly," he smiled into the phone.

"And Kimberly is?" Brenda asked walking out into the living room.

"My mother's realtor."

"Oooh Jason," she beat her hands anxiously against his chest, "we're really going to do this?!"

"We are, if you promise not to do that every time we talk about this," he said clasping her hands together."

"A little enthusiasm Jase," she shook her head at him, "I mean come on. I get to pick out a whole living room and dishes…There are some great place settings out there," she shook her head walking away from him as she heard the fax start to whir.

"Oh my god," she said as she held the sheet in her hand.

Jason shook his head nonchalantly, "I mentioned to Kimberly your whole cabin thing, figure we could-"

"No Jason," she shook her head as he approached from behind, "this is it," she said just above a whisper. She turned with a smile and wide eyes, "This is completely it."

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

"Let me get this straight, you and Brenda bought a place together," Keesha questioned.

In his defense he had tried to buy it on his own, but Brenda had quickly vetoed that idea and considering she couldn't afford it on her own…He opened his mouth to speak, not really sure what the hell he was going to say to get himself out of this.

"Hey Jason, Keesha," Brenda bounded over to them as they sat outside of Kelly's, "so Jase did you ask her yet," she asked anxiously.

He stared up at Brenda with angry and annoyed eyes, this would go a lot better without her around, then again he hadn't been sure it could go worse.

"Oh god," Brenda's hand rose to her chest, "I'm sorry. I was just excited. I really hope you move in," her eyes closed as if in pain. "Oh god," the brown opened apologetically to look at Jason as confusion flooded him, "Jason I'm sorry. I spoiled your surprise. Keesha, ignore me. I'm sorry. I swear, I'll totally try to be a better sister than that once we're living together." Another apologetic and sheepish expression, "I'm sorry. I'm just gonna go," she beat a hasty retreat before they could get a word in edgewise.

Jason could almost see the cloud of smoke Brenda had left in her hasty departure, _what had she just done. _"Keesha, I" he began before he even turned back to her; he stopped when he realized she was smiling.

"Oh god Jason," she said launching herself out of her seat and around the table to his side, throwing her arms around him. "I can't believe I was being so ridiculous. Of course I'll move in with you guys!"

He hugged her back. He had to remember to thank Brenda, _he thinks._

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

"Okay I've got to go before Brenda buys out half of the store," Jason said standing with a smile.

"Jason, Brenda can go food shopping on her own," Keesha pointed out.

"Yea, when it's her turn. I leave her alone with mine, I end up with a 500 dollar grocery bill."

She bit her tongue as she was about to point out he could afford it.

"And I don't know how we managed to fill an entire freezer, but if she buys another pint of Ben and Jerry's it's going to explore."

Keesha sighed from the table they were sharing at PCU's Union, "Fine. I love you," she looked up at him with a smile.

"Love you too," he dropped a kiss down to her lips.

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

"This is not my house Jason," Keesha screamed at him as Brenda tried to gauge the distance between her bedroom window and the tree. _Dammit her keys were downstairs anyway. _

"How is this not your house Keesha?" Jason asked as he paced the length of the living room, this was not what he needed the night before his last final, the test he needed to keep his place in med school that was starting in just a few short weeks.

"Everything is white Jason!" she had to take her shoes off just to sit at the sofa.

He didn't point out they were various creams, not white. "You and Brenda went shopping together," he argued.

"You agreed with her!" was all she could yell.

"It looks nice," he defended. Brenda smiled despite herself as she listened by her cracked door.

"You can't sit down with your shoes on!"

"We can get the couch cleaned if it gets dirty," he used the logic Brenda had used on him.

"Ugh," she shook her fists in the air in utter frustration.

"I don't understand what's going on with you lately," Jason shook his head in annoyance.

"With me? Seriously? You think the issue's with me?" She looked at him in shock, "You're never home Jason and when you are, we're never alone."

"It's Brenda's house too!" he didn't like her connotation that Brenda didn't have as much right to be in the living areas as they did.

"Yes Jason, you made that very clear when you told me Brenda was getting the master suite and every single time Brenda tries to leave the living room and you order her to stay."

"I don't order her," Jason scoffed.

"I tell you I'm going upstairs, you say goodnight. She tells you she's going upstairs; it's a five minute talk as to why, until you convince her to stay longer."

Brenda's eyes squinted at that trying to remember if it was really like what Keesha was implying.

_He didn't. Did he?_ "You're overreacting," he shook the possibility off.

"I'm overreacting? Are you serious? Why the hell did you even ask me to move in when it's so clear you want it to just be you and Brenda."

"I didn't. Brenda did," just like that in a moment of anger and annoyance it slipped out. His eyes widened at what he had just revealed.

She let out a long sigh and her brown eyes finally filled with tears, "I don't even know who you are since AJ died."

"Don't bring AJ into this."

"This is all about AJ, don't you see that?" her hands flared around the room. "You don't have him to save anymore, so you just took the next available charity case," she gasped at herself in horror as she covered her mouth.

He laughed bitterly at her, "And you don't know who I am anymore? Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"Jason, I'm sorry," it wasn't though she didn't mean it, but to say it…

"You're right," he nodded at her as he swallowed hard, his voice returned to the normal range. "Something changed afterwards. I changed afterwards. It's easier to be with Brenda than you. She just stayed with me. Things are just easier with her. I don't know why, but they are."

She blinked and another wave of tears slid down her cheeks. "So this is it then. You never wanted me here. So I'll just go…" she nodded morosely.

"Keesha," he finally called out when she was at the door.

She turned back.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and then closed his eyes in pain over all of their lost dreams.

"Me too," she croaked out.

-x-x-X-x-x-

He collapsed onto the couch as he heard her car pull away from the house.

"Jason?" he heard a minute later from the top of the stairs.

"Yea?"

"I'm sorry," she said taking another step.

"Not your fault," he said staring blankly at the black television screen.

"You moved in with me to take care of me after the accident. I know you were just doing it so you could watch me and it was selfi-"

"You didn't twist my arm into moving in with you."

She stopped at the landing, "I can get a mortgage, I'll sell my car. You can move out, I'll pay you back."

He closed his eyes and let out a puff of air, "My girlfriend just left me and now you want to kick me out?"

"I don't want to kick you out Jason, but you and Keesha can get your own place without-" her voice cracked his eyes flew open.

He let out a bitter chuckle, now that he finally understood, "You don't get it do you Brenda." He leaned forward onto his legs as he cradled his chin in the L of his hands. "Keesha left because I chose you over her."

"Jase?" her confused voice questioned.

Jason laughed at the bittersweet and ironic realization, "You're who I call to meet for lunch, you're the one I want to hang out with after classes…" he let out another short laugh.

She didn't say anything.

He shook his head annoyed with himself, "It doesn't really matter though does it," he stood up and tried to shake it off, but he was undone as he saw her clutching the top of the post in shock. He turned and walked into the kitchen rather than go past her.

She followed him in moments later, "What the hell," she exclaimed.

"What?" he asked as he was rooting through the fridge, he wondered if Brenda's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Dough ice cream, really did the job she claimed it did.

"You can't just say that then walk away!" her eyes still wide.

"What else did you want me to say?" he decided he would give the ice cream a chance, he pulled it out.

"I don't know," she shook her head at him, "why don't you explain what the hell that was," she began to flare her hands, but stopped at she realized she was behaving mildly like a lunatic, she was imagining what she just heard…_this was all in her mind…yea. That was it. _

"Nothing to explain," he pulled out a spoon.

She yanked the spoon he just filled out of his hand.

He didn't say anything, but tensely flexed his hand before going to retrieve another spoon.

"So that's it? She shrugged as she pulled the spoon out of her mouth.

"That's it," he shook his head at her.

"Fine," she yanked the ice cream out of his hand and stormed out of the room.

He threw the spoon in the sink and his hands opened and closed again as he tried to gain the strength to control over this situation before he said too much as he just had as he realized what Keesha was saying was true.

"No," Brenda said with her mouth laced with peanut butter and a stray bit of cookie dough not going now, "seriously," she flung the spoon towards him and chocolate splattered across the clean wood floors.

"Just let it go Brenda," he shook his head and tried to walk past her, she ducked in front of him; there were serious benefits to only one doorway to the rest of the house.

"No, what the hell was that?"

"It was nothing," he shook his head.

"That didn't sound like nothing."

"What did it sound like?" he questioned her.

"Something," her voice tinged with astonishment.

He looked down at her.

She looked up, she sighed, "I really don't need you to take care of me Jason."

"Maybe I like taking care of you," his voice dropped several decides.

She frowned; she didn't want to be that girl. Not anymore.

"Cause maybe then you take care of me," he admitted despite himself. "I don't think I would have gotten through any of this without you."

"I didn't do anything," his brother's death, his parents' divorce, the semester off from college, the pressure to return, she had felt useless.

He shook his head, "You were there."

"So were a lot of people. Kee-"

He shook his head, "You were the one I wanted there. I don't know why. I don't know how. Something changed after AJ. I changed after AJ. You didn't try to make me be _him_ because _he_ died in that car with AJ, he was a brother, he had a brother and I…I need to figure out who I am without one and you let me do that."

"Oh Jason," the ice cream and spoon were unceremoniously dropped atop the white granite countertop in their cozy baby duck yellow kitchen where he watched her smile every morning as she entered as the sun streamed in from the bay windows that were the backdrop for the small kitchen table they shared coffee at. Her arms wound around him. "You're still a brother," she whispered, "he's still your brother."

"I can't be the person I was," he informed her, "that guy failed his brother. He let him die."

"Oh Jason," she held him tighter, "I'm so sorry," she cried into his shoulder.

"I'm not telling you-"

"No," she shook her head against him, "I hate myself because I was so grateful that it wasn't you. When Mac told us what the analyst said-"

"What?" he pulled back.

"Impact, speed," she shook her head, her eyes closed, "you weren't wearing your seatbelt; you most likely would have been thrown from the car." It had been decided amongst the Quartermaines to not tell Jason until he mentally recovered from the loss.

He took a step back, "We knew we were crashing," he whispered.

"He saved you Jason, I don't if it was on purpose or not, but he did and he wouldn't want you to throw your life away because of it."

Jason let out a puff of air as his eyes closed, a small smile, similar to his brother's that fateful night. "No," he said shaking his head as his eyes opened, "he would want me to live every second of it."

"Exa-" she began, but was quickly cut off by the all consuming kiss Jason pulled her into.

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-

_Is this another continue or just the first scene/snippet story?_

**Umm anyone need a basic rundown read below. Parentheses mean that it's a tidbit that has not yet been addressed in the story.**

Everything from the car beginning to swerve that night in December '95 to this future time where Jason is killed hunting down AZ, was the life that would have occurred, the life AJ would have lived had he not made the choice to save his brother, the main part of that being HE would not be able to exist in a world without Jason anyway, there was only one option AJ could let happen.

Ned calls Brenda that night after dropping off Jason (he only leaves Jason because he needs to pry Monica away from her son at the morgue), since Jason didn't want to go to Keesha. This is a month after Stone's death, so Brenda does not call her best friend in the middle of the night to tell her someone else has died.

Monica and Alan divorce. Monica moves out of the house and takes Emily (her son died there, she doesn't want it), she is dating Pierce Dorman already.

All of the Jax antics that occurred prior to his arrival in this story, occurred.

(Jason wasn't just being a lazy bum during his semester off, he was up to something worthwhile, but not as worthwhile as medicine in his parents eyes.)


	18. In the Blink of an Eye Part 2

So** Soap Queen** liked this snippet for some little reason, so it's going to keep going for a bit. This alternate world where AJ sacrificed himself for his brother because he had no future without Jason. Giving his brother the life he deserved.

Soap Queen did the prompt/start of the nurses ball and was in total agreement with me on Sonny needing to see Brazen happy together. It's got a Christmas scene to make it merry, but I think I was supposed to do a Thanksgiving scene and forgot. :-P SQ totally rocks as she plotted out with me and prompted me on all the past GH history, so thank you.

* * *

_The Path to…_

**In the Blink of an Eye**

**Pt.2**

-x-x-x-August 1996-x-x-x-

Sonny smiled as Robin walked into Luke's, he didn't know why he was sitting out in the club doing the books…No, he did. Because being in that club and doing something as mundane as keeping Luke's in the black made him feel normal again. Made him slip back into a time with Stone and Brenda upstairs and life was shockingly enough simpler. "Shouldn't you be packing or something?"

She smiled back, "Even prisoners get time off for good behavior, if Uncle Mac tries to pack one more first aid kit," she sighed good naturedly as her smile was quick to reappear.

He chuckled.

Her smile fell though as did his as she looked around the bar, Stone was in every inch and always would be.

"He's proud of you, you know."

"I know," she nodded.

He pushed out a seat with his foot, "Got a few?"

"I did come looking for you," she smiled as she pulled the seat out further.

"Am I just a safe place to hide from the police commissioner?"

She rolled her eyes, _she was sure her uncle would still willingly bust down the door and drag her back to the safety of their little house. _She looked at him and released a hesitant smile.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything," he studied her as he leaned forward onto the table.

"I don't really know how to tell you this," her eyes narrowed.

He let out a deep breath and leaned back against the chair, his eyes closed and he nodded as he swallowed hard, "Brenda and Jason?"

"You heard already?"

"Small town, hard not to. Been the rumor since Keesha went back home," his throat was dry. Just as it had been since he heard Brenda and Jason were moving in together and then Keesha left town a month ago and just didn't return, every day his throat got a little drier. Especially since he had stumbled upon Brenda and Jason last week at GH, when he'd left Lily in search of a vending machine when her doctor had been delayed. _Seeing her in Jason's arms…_

"They're happy," Robin's gaze was firm upon him, "Brenda's happy."

"That's good," he struggled to swallow.

She sighed.

"Made my own bed right?" he picked up the forgotten coffee Luke had handed him with laugh as he turned over the club's books.

"No one wanted you two to work out more than me and Stone," she swore to him.

"Jason's certainly a good second choice though isn't he?" the bitter laugh. Everyone knew of Robin's childhood crush on Jason and profound respect as an adult, everyone liked Jason, _hell even he liked Jason._

"Jason's good for Brenda and Brenda's good for him," she implored him to understand and let go.

He shook his head out of the blue, "What kind of a life is that for Brenda? Doctor's wife, country clubs, society teas?"

Most would have given an amused chuckle at Sonny's outburst, but not Robin, she instead looked sadly at him, "Jason isn't like that, Brenda isn't like that," she reminded him.

"Hidden away in that little house, that's no life for her, Brenda-"

"I think Brenda and Jason have had enough adventure and excitement for awhile," she smirked to herself thinking of their pasts, then her smile fell as she remembered the joy and the excitement that seemed to bubble out of them both unexpectedly, even though they tried to hide it from her most times.

_Brenda stopped smirking at the sight of Jason going to town on the tree stump in the middle of their backyard, every tool in their shed lay by him as he was currently attacking it shirtless and with an ax, even the safety goggles weren't deterring them of their ogling of him, from the comfort of the air conditioned kitchen of course. Robin put down her mug as she noticed the change in Brenda, "What's wrong?"_

_"It's nothing," she took a sip of her coffee. _

_"Brenda, you can tell me, is something wrong with you two?" Living with someone and being in a new relationship with them…As Uncle Mac had said it was either sink or swim. _

_"No," she shook her head vehemently, "no. Things are going great."_

_"Then what's wrong?"_

_She laughed at herself, "Things are going great."_

_Robin's eyebrows lifted._

Sonny simply let out a long breath, if he could go back and change everything, he would.

-x-x-The Party-x-x-

"I think we're supposed to go around to the back," Lily said as she saw a group of half dressed kids run around the side of the house.

"Are they throwing her a going away orgy?" he asked as a couple came from the side and half fell into the house making out.

Lily chuckled, "Robin did warn us the party was starting at 1."

He frowned looking at the clock on the dashboard, it was only 4pm, it was supposed to last into the night.

"Sonny?" his wife prompted as she pushed open her door.

"Coming," he said trying to remove the scowl from his face.

"Oh my god this is crazy," Lily yelled over the music as they walked into a Hawaiian luau in the middle of a forest. Complete with a half eaten pig, tiki torches, and a giant above ground pool, everything was covered in fake tropical flowers or grass skirts.

"Hey you gotta find Brenda to get leid," a random party goer announced seeing their flowerless chests.

Lily turned to her husband with an eyebrow raised.

"Let's just go find Robin," he said with a hand on her back as he forced himself to look down at their daughter growing inside her.

Robin came over squealing excitement proving the pina colada in her hand wasn't the virgin kind, "I'm so glad you guys came!" Her arms were flung around them as soon as she dropped her drink at a table. "You guys have to send me pictures of all the sonograms!" Her hands went down to Lily's stomach.

"Of course, you're her Aunt Robin after all."

"Could be a him, Sonny," his wife gently teased.

"As long as he or she's healthy," Sonny smiled.

"Oooh," Robin nearly bounced, "you guys need leis, I think Brenda's in the living room."

Sure enough Brenda was, leaning against the arm of the couch, nestled in between Jason's legs, laughing at something the person in front of her had just said.

Jason's arm around her bare waist, flicking the taunt stomach left exposed by the brown bikini and coordinating floral sarong as the other hand relieved Brenda's of her daiquiri and took a sip.

Sonny Corinthos despised Jason Quartermaine, not for the first time in the past few months.

Her head dropped back against him further as her laugh increased, 'Stupid man,' Sonny thought seeing Brenda's exposed neck primed for a kiss and Jason still just laughing with her, the opportunity Sonny would never have again, slipping by Jason.

"We need leis," Robin hollered as she approached.

"Thank god they don't have neighbors," Lily whispered under her breath to Sonny.

"Kitchen," was Brenda's quick response then realized who had just approached them as their friend excused himself to make way for the new guests, she sat up a bit straighter.

"Sonny, Lily, welcome to our home," her words weren't slurred, but it was fairly obvious that wasn't her first drink.

"Glad you could come," Jason nodded and looked down trying to figure out how he was supposed to shake hands.

"Thanks for having us," Sonny nodded back.

"You guys are brave having this many people here," Lily tried to be polite.

"More like everything breakable is in the attic and we put slip covers down," Brenda laughed refusing to even entertain the urge to move out of Jason's arms. Jason was her present and future, Sonny was her past, she wouldn't let him hinder them.

"And we took everyone's keys," Jason smiled reassuringly.

"Yea pass them over to Lily, Sonny if you want a drink. Just so you know 151 should be illegal."

"It is illegal," Jason and Sonny replied on top of each other.

She frowned as she turned back looking at Jason, "Why'd you let me do a shot of it?"

"Because you ignored my, _Do you really think that's a good idea?_" Jason smirked at his girlfriend.

She shuddered again at the memory.

"The pool looks amazing, you must have loved it this summer," Lily prompted before silence could hit.

"It was amazing, Edward and Lila got it for us," Brenda smiled.

"An above ground pool?" Sonny questioned.

"The realtor thought it would limit the resale value of the house with an in ground one," Jason added.

"Yea and this is so much cooler than a coffin," Brenda nodded.

Robin snorted as she walked back over, "It was a current pool and seriously that thing looked awesome. Leis," Robin cheerfully announced.

"No it was like putting a treadmill in the backyard," quickly chimed back in with.

"Lucy told Brenda she was putting on weight, Brenda ended up in bed for two days because she overdid it at the gym."

Jason rolled his eyes thinking back to early June, recalling the agony Brenda had been in and how he, Robin and Keesha had taken turns caring for her.

Brenda was scowling, "Hey let's not make it seem like I was a heifer, it was 5 cinnamon bun related pounds."

Everyone snorted, even Brenda after a moment realizing how ridiculous it sounded.

-x-x-x-

Sonny found himself alone sometime later, Brenda and Jason having left their little group for hosting duties. Robin had taken he and Lily on a walk to show them the area, there was a lake not too far from her house, it reminded him of the year he had spent a few minutes at camp, he had always wanted to take Brenda there, show her, now he never would. Lily was ensconced in a group of females that had gone to PC High talking about the baby and he had gone in search of a drink.

The party crowd spanned several years of PC High's former students and several of Jason's college classmates, but with alcohol involved they were all blending seamlessly. The full tiki bar was Sonny's destination, needing the night air to soothe his wounded heart.

Brenda smiled to his as he entered the backyard and for a moment everything felt right again, but as soon as she had, her attention was once more drawn back into her conversation.

He could hear the boisterous conversation though, especially when, "Seriously by the time we come back for Christmas you'll be married."

Brenda was laughing out negations.

A friend joined in with, "I know seriously."

She was still laughing, "Not happening."

"Fuck next year's party, they're going to have a kid."

"What?!" He could hear Jason's shell shocked voice.

Brenda's laughter, "Ignore them Jase."

"What's going on," Jason's voice was wary.

"We come home for Spring Break and you're living at Kelly's together," the friend supplied. "By this summer you've bought a house."

"Then they get together," the other friend snorted.

"If you keep this up, next party's going to be a christening."

The thought made Sonny's stomach curl.

"I am so not getting fat," was Brenda's curt response.

"You're saying that I'm getting fat," Lois suddenly interjected loudly as she joined the party.

"Oh god, not this again," Ned sounded distraught.

Brenda's voice lifted several decibels and filled with joy, "No, you're growing my baby."

Sure enough by the time Sonny turned around Brenda's face was against Lois's small bump.

"I need a double of something," Ned said approaching Sonny.

"I feel you," Sonny nodded looking at Jason who had a thoroughly amused expression on his face as he watched Brenda making kissy faces at Lois's stomach.

"Oh fuckin hell, they are going to end up with a kid," the friend looked on in disdain as Jason and the other friend laughed.

-x-x-x-Christmas 1996-x-x-x-

"Merry Christmas," he said placing a kiss behind her ear as she finally started to rouse, he'd been waiting at least 40 minutes for her to stir.

"Mmmm Merry Christmas," she said with raised lips, but closed eyes. He was always…Best. Dream. Ever. She was always afraid the moment she opened her eyes that he would be gone.

"We should just stay here all day," his arms tightened around her, bare flesh against each other as it almost always was and it always should be.

She chuckled and finally opened her eyes, "They'd send out a search party."

"Let them," he dared. He didn't want to spoil this, spoil them with his family.

"Em and Lila would be devastated," she reminded.

"Lila would understand," his grandmother would most certainly understand him wanting to spend the day alone with Brenda.

"We can't ditch Emily," she ordered as he rolled her over as he rose above her.

He scowled, not something he normally did in this position. The thought of his mother and Pierce turned his stomach, as did the latest sonogram pictures from the surrogate. In 6 months he would have a new sibling to replace the one who hadn't even been gone a year. His father wasn't much better the way he paraded women around their town, most barely older than him, he was sure an 'accident' would arise one day from at least one of them, again. After all he was the first of those.

"I love you," she smiled up at him in resignation of their day, "we're going to get through this."

Her arms went up to go around him, but they stopped, as did she.

_"Oh come on Christmas is just a day for disappointments anyway. Parents who forget to call, gifts picked out by a secretary," she rolled her eyes she spoke, despite the fact that she was currently in the process of smothering their house in Christmas paraphernalia. She was only halfway kidding. _

_He knew then as she debated the proper amount of swag of the roping over the fireplace what he would do. That small bit of hope he knew was in her mind, but was totally foolish to consider so early, he wouldn't let her be disappointed another Christmas. _

Her hand remained high, but after awhile she finally tore her eyes away from the sparkle on her hand to the sparkle in his eyes.

"So," he questioned.

Her eyes turned back to the ring. It was brand new. Nothing from the past to taint their future. It had been a rush to have it made, but Quartermaine money always talked louder than anything else and for her, he was willing to throw it around. The emerald cut diamond in the center wasn't ostentatious, but neither was it anything to ignore and the subtle design on the side and the surrounding small diamonds on the band were sure to draw in enough attention to please Brenda.

"That's a…" her other hand dropped down enough to point at it.

"Engagement ring?" his lips still remained up in a smile.

She turned back to him, "As in you're…"

"Proposing to you," he nodded down at her.

She went back to staring at the ring, finally letting her hand drop a few inches closer.

"You know this is the one time you're not supposed to be speechless," he prompted after several more moments of silence.

A beaming smile came out of nowhere and the ring was forgotten as both of her arms came around him.

Amidst it all he asked, "I take it that's a yes?"

"Hell yea and we're going to be late for breakfast," she tugged him in closer.

-x-x-x-Nurses Ball 1997-x-x-x-

Brenda stared off at Robin, drink in hand forgotten. Jason's hushed voice of, "I bet I know what you're thinking about," as he approached from behind.

"He should be here," the heartbreak tinging her words, threatening to crack.

"I know," he said as he slid his arms around her and she automatically leaned back into his embrace. He wanted to say 'he was,' but his heart wouldn't let him. The emptiness he still felt despite being able to see and hear his brother everywhere, it was always made worse as he remembered his brother wouldn't be walking past Robin and Mac, shooting off a quick pleasantry before continuing to scour the room for a hot nurse he hadn't yet discovered, just as Stone wouldn't be.

"She's all alone," the tears now crept into her eyes.

That he could fight, "She isn't alone," because as long as you had Brenda in your corner, you had a battalion fighting for you, loving you, even when you didn't realize it.

Her head shook beneath his own, "He's gone...They're gone and it just feels so wrong to be so..." she focused on Robin, sweet, young Robin, who looked so innocent with her long hair and pink dress, but that innocence she deserved had been stolen by loss and grief.

"Happy?" he whispered against her.

She inhaled a short breath as she struggled not to let out a sob, "I have you and for the first time in my life everything just seems..."

He chuckled without sound or opening his mouth, sending the warmth of his breath against her, "Wonderful, blissful?"

"Perfect," she answered.

"And you feel guilty?"

She sighed against him instead of answering.

His arms tightened even further, "They want us to be happy." _AJ had been smiling. AJ had saved him. Saved him for her. _He couldn't imagine a life or future that didn't involve them exactly like this and he had almost missed it.

She turned in his arms and slid her arms around his neck, "I am," she swore, then out of the blue her mood shifted and she smirked, "And I plan on proving it to you in just a few hours."

His fingers teased along the side of her sinful blue gown, touching the bare skin it revealed...The moment she had walked out of the bedroom, all he had been thinking about was leading her back into it.

Last year she had worn red, Sonny's red, to remind him of the life he'd thrown away, this year blue, blue had crept in as her favorite color, blue wasn't warm blood flowing against her fingers. It was the color of their bedroom, of the new Jeep they had gotten to them safe on the back roads, the color of the sky as they lay together in the hammock, the pool they splashed together in, the color of Jason's eyes. "Keep that in mind while you're undressing Lucy."

"She has nothing on you," he promised.

"Good to know," she rewarded him with a pleased smile, "however considering she's my boss," her eyes twinkled, "I'd keep that information between us."

"Come with me?" he smiled back.

She shook her head, her utterly contented smile continuing, "I'm gonna go rescue Robin from Mac."

He kept smiling, it was hard not to when he was with her, he didn't want to, but he let her go, "I love you," he couldn't help but add.

"Love you too," her eyes twinkled again as she turned to join Robin.

Several feet away:

"You need to let her go son," Mike consoled his son as his attention finally returned to him, Sonny had tried to keep up the I of having a conversation for several minutes, but eventually his one word responses had turned into none.

He tried to deny it, but seeing her standing alone in that scrap of a dress, all he had wanted to do was wrap his arms around her, seeing Jason approach...Watching her lean into him, watching how easily she accepted his comfort....His love...How readily she returned it...

"You're a married man with a newborn daughter," he reminded Sonny.

"I know," Sonny snapped, "trust me Mike, I can't forget that." _As much as he wished he could, he couldn't. _He had handed Brenda to Jason on a silver platter when he threw her out and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

-x-x-x-

Mike watched his son with worry as Brenda and Jason took the stage, strolling along a fake street as the melody of "My Baby Just Cares for Me," began to play in the background. They began to dance just as Ned walked out on stage and began to sing. A dress shop window was moved on stage and Jason kept twirling Brenda away from various well dressed dancers and chorus singers. The crowd was cracking up by the time Brenda's overly joyful face managed to get a large necklace placed on her and was doubled over by the time Jason tossed it to the floor and Dara walked out joining Ned in song. He saw Robin snort as Jason's eyes rolled when Brenda danced away from a tennis racket and back into Jason's arms. Mike watched his son flinch a time or two as Jason threw in a line, more spoken than sung. By the time the number ended in a kiss, he was glad his daughter in law had stepped out to check in on Addie because his son's expression was hard and glazed over.

-x-x-x-

An hour later as Brenda walked out on stage wearing a voluminous wedding dress and began to softly sing, "Makin' Whoopee," Mike was slightly worried he his daughter in law would end up leaving in anger, but his son seemed to go blank instead as the chorus joined in with her as Jason stood with wide eyes by an altar. Sonny didn't blink as Brenda and Jason were spun out of their dress clothes as the set slid passed them and the rose covered archway was replaced by a kitchen table with roses in a vase, they were pushed into by the seats by the dancers and Brenda once more sang on her own, across the table to Jason.

"Picture a little love nest

down where the roses cling

picture the same sweet love nest

Think what a year can bring"

The crowd once more roared with laughter as Jason again looked panicked. As they were pulled out of their seats by the dancers and twirled offstage as Lois was twirled on with a baby doll in her arms and dropped into the seat and Ned came in pushing a sink, pulling various paraphernalia out of it as he sang. Then as Ned finished sitting at a table pretending to sew, Edward Quartermaine came on stage pushing Lila, repeating the verse as Brenda and Jason were pushed back out, underneath the arch looking at each other in exaggerated love. Then Quartermaine clan repeated the last two lines again as a family, "But don't forget folks, that's what you get folks, for makin' whoopee."

Lily looked over in anticipation, but Sonny didn't do anything, but clap as they finished. Mike was sure he had just watched his son's heart die and he was sure Adela was looking down upon them in tears.

-x-x-x-August 1997-x-x-x-

"How does everything look?" Brenda fussed as Lois returned to their large dressing room.

"It's perfect Brenda," Lois reassured her best friend.

"Monica and Alan are-"

"Behaving remarkably well," Lois swore.

"Jason's-"

"Still waiting at the altar with Ned, pacing," Robin smirked, "where he's been for the past 30 minutes."

"I am not that late," Brenda huffed in a panic looking at the clock.

Robin and Lois laughed once more, but it was Robin who added, "No Jason was that early."

"Interesting pair, you two," Lois smiled.

"It's a good balance till he kills me," Brenda looked at herself in the mirror, her hand raised, a loose curl by her face from her casual curly updo that taken an hour to accomplish, tempting her.

"If you touch that curl, I swear to god I will have Jean Luc come back in her and chop it off," Lucy threatened as she walked in the door.

Brenda's hand fell.

"I think Jason's starting to get heatstroke," Emily announced walking into the room next.

Brenda's eyes bugged, "Where's Gloria?"

"Brooke is all changed, she's waiting for you outside," Emily tried to remain calm for Brenda's sake.

"Now do you want your bouquet or the baby and the petals?" Brenda once more questioned in a panic.

"Lucky's going to take Brooke and I'm going to carry my flowers, he wanted something to do," Emily seriously nodded. Jason had taken the wedding plans much more lackadaisically than Brenda, he had merely asked his sister's best friend one day if he wanted to walk her down the aisle. Jason liked his friends, but he wanted people who would always be with them for sure in the wedding. Friends, as their childhoods had shown, weren't forever, Lucky Spencer was forever though in Emily's life.

"Okay let's get this show on the road," Brenda grabbed the sides of her dress and left everyone else to rush after her.

-x-x-x-

They were on a private beach of the island that had visited the year prior, Edward had rented out a mansion for two weeks, which the majority of the family had been staying at, while the rest of the guests had completely overtaken a hotel.

Brenda didn't see Lois walk down with Justus, Emily beaming as she walked down with Lucky and Brooke or the faces Gloria made at her granddaughter as Tracy rolled her eyes and received a thwack of her mother's fan. Brenda missed Dillion drop his pillow twice, but Tracy only smiled and silently waved her son forward. She didn't see Robin look towards the sky and close her eyes to the warm sun as she reached the altar as she felt Stone around her.

No Brenda Barrett saw the electric fan Lucy had pointed at her as she ordered her to breathe and Edward's worried expression. Finally, though as she took his arm and they took the corner of the recently constructed hallway, hiding them with a gauzy fabric to the makeshift sandy aisle, as Edward had just finished questioning, "Are you alright my dear?"

All Brenda saw was blue. The blue of the sky, the blue of the ocean, the blue of his eyes across the long aisle. Locked with hers. Beckoning, warm, soothing blue calling out to her.

"Perfect," she said for the first time that morning with even breath, "just perfect."

* * *

**Merry Christmas!!!**


	19. In the Blink of an Eye Part 3

Anon Y Mous: OMG you have old tapes of prom, GO WATCH! And you know I may have to tap into some unknown Jackal skills and hunt you down so I can steal them. I have such old tape envy; my mother threw all of mine out when I went away to college. :-( I'm still bitter.

**Setting**: _This goes for directly after the nurses ball hostage crisis, which technically was the nurses' ball that I just wrote about, however when I started with this idea in mind (prior to posting the last bit, I assumed I'd push the crisis off for a year because a year of med school…Umm Jase isn't that smart). You however can put it wherever you'd like, so it's either just before their wedding or a year later. Doesn't matter, I'm keeping it general. I did post the original GH dates for when this went with in case you were in the mood for a Nurse's Ball viewing._

Btw this is totally another Lori chapter, so it has Turkey Day and baby, which had been 2 of her requests for it AGES ago.

Thanks for reading and the reviews that keep me going. :-P Btw yes there will be a flood of posts starting in August. I'm slowly reintroducing myself to GH with Youtube clips free of Sonny and Liz, okay well minus the Maxie calling her out on the 3 baby daddies. I stand by she's got to have broken a record for the past decade. 5 pregnancies, all 5 diferent daddies and 1 with a different mommy. Seriously has to be a record.

* * *

**Part 3**

-x-Post Hostage Crisis '97-x-

Their bedroom wasn't big, none of the rooms in their house were big, it was after all only a cottage as Edward frequently pointed out. Their bedroom was always a hazard because of its size and Brenda's dressing habits. He muttered a silent curse as he impaled his foot on a heel, she had tried on and discarded as she got dressed for the ball. Why, he still didn't understand, her dress and shoes had been selected weeks prior, but…It was just another mystery of living with Brenda and one of the stupid things he'd been worried he'd never get to experience again.

He almost died by Greg Cooper's hand and Audrey had almost died by his. Interns having to perform surgery without any real training, under wartime conditions, he thanked God Karen had been by his side. She kept him grounded, reminded him of his life that existed outside of that hellhole, more importantly of Brenda, he had to survive in order to be with her.

To be impaled by shoes, attacked by falling bras in the bathroom…

Brenda, the best thing that had ever happened to him, the complete opposite of his ideals, yet they were completely and impossibly perfect together.

She had stayed with him at the police station, she refused to leave his side, every question he answered was with Brenda's arms wrapped around one of his, routinely tightening when he got to yet another horrifying part.

"What are we doing?"she half sobbed, half yelled as she emerged from the bathroom.

He knew better than to start jumping in with random answers.

"You could have died," another mix of jumbled emotions slammed at him.

He started walking towards her, but she walked away, he knew why, she wanted to yell, if she was in his arms she would stop and break down completely.

"I'm not as strong as Robin," she shook her head in desperation. "You can't leave me."

"I didn't," he reminded her, he had fought like hell to stay with her.

"You could have!" She screamed at him through her tears.

"But I'm didn't," he didn't let her evade him, he would always be faster and stronger and sometimes he had to use that to his advantage, not hers.

"But you could have," her fists beat against him.

"I'm not," he repeated.

"I would have-" her head shook against his chest and Jason could feel his heart pounding, "Everything-" another shake. "Our plans."

His words finally changed, "I know," he whispered.

"I don't want to have regrets Jason," her arms were tight around him, holding on for dear life, "not about us."

He realized he was shaking, he was supposed to be the strong one, but that thought, what had almost happened…He clung to her promising them both that they wouldn't leave this life with regrets.

-x-The Cottage's Living Room: In the near future-x-

"You're kidding," she beamed.

He smiled himself, seeing her happy. The medical journal in his hands forgotten as he wondered what his wife was being offered by her agent.

She eventually settled on top of him and occasionally hit him when her agent said something thrilling to her. Then she stilled, "A year," she repeated.

He looked back up from the article he had started to read again.

"Uh yea," her eyes briefly closed, "let me talk to Jason and I'll call you back."

"What happened?" he was quick to question once he saw her hit end.

"They want me to be the face of Envy and Wonder," she nodded slowly, still dazed.

"I have no idea what that is," he admitted as he frequently had to when she talked about work, there was little overlap in their given careers.

"Design label, they actually did that red dress I wore to the Nurse's Ball. Very old Hollywood glamour made modern."

"Then what's the problem?"

"They like the way I look and don't want me to change anything," she nodded succinctly, not making eye contact with her husband.

He was momentarily confused, then he realized what she was saying. No changes for a year, pregnancy would be a monumentally bigger change than cutting her hair. She had thrown out her pills in an act of desperation last week when they had almost lost each other, not wanting to waste any time, not wanting to have any regrets, not to mention ensuring that the other wouldn't be completely be alone if something happened to either of them. "What do you want to do?" he questioned. Their life was pretty much back to normal already, she had stopped clinging to him and never letting him out of her sight, soon it would be as if Gregory Cooper had just been a bad dream.

"This could make my career," the large eyes turned to him.

"Okay then," he quickly replied. Their careers mattered to them, there was nothing wrong with being ambitious, he wanted a career in medicine, she wanted a career in front of the camera, neither were particularly child friendly at the early stages and they had both always known that.

"I can't be pregnant yet," she said to herself and then looked at him.

He was obviously supposed to have been paying better attention to her cycles than he had been, of course if he had been and she didn't need the information she would have found it odd, another hazard of living with Brenda. "Where are you in it?"

"Like the middle," she hopped off of him and went for her bag, pulling out her organizer, which he noted wasn't the electronic PDA he had given her. "The dates in pink," she said handing it to him, open to the small calendar.

"Fertility isn't an exact science Brenda, we don't-"

"Guess Jason," she shook her head at him in annoyance, "you spent how many years learning to what…hypothesize?"

He let out a large sigh and turned his attention back to the dates, "It's been ten days, normal is 12 to 16, and considering you've never been early for anything-" he ignored Brenda glaring at him, "we're most likely fine."

"Most likely fine? Are you going to say that to your patients?"

He sighed again, "It's too early for a pregnancy test, we can go to the hospital if you really want and see-"

She glared at him again.

"So then we'll wait and see," he returned to his original point of view.

"We need condoms," she shook her head at him and walked away.

"Fine I'll go later," he said in a huff and picked up his journal again.

-x-Few weeks later-x-

"You have got to be kidding me Jason," she said slamming the pencil sized tester down next to his eggs as he sat in their formerly happy baby duck yellow kitchen.

He stared at it in confusion for a moment, he remembered them talking about worrying _if _she missed her period and considering that wasn't due for 3 more days…

"Do you always have to be such a god damn overachiever in EVERYTHING?"

He realized she was furious, then the meaning behind that plus sign finally started to creep into his brain and he found himself staring at her stomach instead of her.

"DO NOT LOOK SO GOD DAMN PLEASED WITH YOURSELF," she fumed.

He wondered if he had looked happy, had he started to smile for a brief moment realizing they were having a child? Wasn't he supposed to? "What would you like me to do Brenda?"

That only seemed to enrage her more as she was annoyed at not being able to find an answer.

He tried to remain calm, "Brenda, you might be upsetting yourself for no reason."

Her hands went to her hips, waiting with obvious disbelief and annoyance with what he was going to come up with.

"It's been theorized that most conceptions end within a week of the missed period," he didn't like the fact, he had a feeling even with his scientific mind that it would probably be gut wrenching now if that happened in a week.

Her eyes went wide in anger, "That was how you expected me to feel better, hoping for the death of my child?" She stormed off.

He quickly realized he should have gone the doctor route; he shouldn't have been that honest. He should have used the words 'false positive' and 'wait a week.' Despite himself, he picked up the tester and smiled at it, before realizing he needed to go in search of Brenda.

-x-x-Late July 97-x-x-

Sonny hated himself that Brenda looking miserable with Jason made him happy. When Jason tried to put a hand on Brenda's back, she shoved him away. He watched as she snapped at him and Jason looked contrite with his hands suddenly by his side, then pointed at a vacant bench some distance away. She glared at him, but walked in that direction. They sat on opposite sides, with Brenda leaning forward on her legs looking immeasurably pissed off and Jason looked worried. Then out of nowhere Jason sprang to his feet and launched into a sprint to Robin, who was walking over carrying a few hot dogs. She was turned away and Sonny stared in confusion. Brenda had stood and started walking away before Jason returned, leaving Jason to chase after her and follow her out of the park.

"How far along is she?" Lily asked as soon as Robin reached them.

Sonny turned to look at his wife in confusion. Adela asleep against her as they sat on their picnic blanket.

Robin laughed, "She's not exactly hiding it well is she?"

Lily smiled compassionately, "She doesn't look like she's having an easy time with it."

"Pretty much every smell is making her sick; I think Jason's idea of them coming to the park for some fresh air is going to have him sleeping on the couch for the next month," she couldn't help, but laugh.

"Oh poor Brenda, I can't imagine that."

"Poor Brenda?" Robin laughed, "More like poor Jason. I think this pregnancy might kill him."

Neither of the women noticed that Sonny's world had just ended.

-x-X-February 98-X-x-

Brenda looked consistently miserable throughout her pregnancy and Sonny consistently felt like an ass for how pleased that made him. Thanks to his wife and Robin, he knew she was having a rough pregnancy, the nausea never left and Brenda wasn't exactly one to take pain and discomfort well. Even now sitting in a restaurant Jason's hand was on her lower back, trying to massage some ache away. She picked at her food as Jason encouraged her to eat more. He saw them together frequently at the small café by the hospital since Lily had decided to volunteer several times a week and he had made it a habit of joining her for meals in hopes of seeing Brenda. The only problem was, she frequently looked totally defeated and curled into Jason's side for comfort, which her husband always gave and then the brief moments where she looked like everything was going to be okay, brought Sonny's dreams crashing down upon him.

-x-X-March 98-X-x-

Jason rushed into Wyndahm's after receiving the phone call from Lucy. She had talked Brenda into a publicity stint at the store. Brenda had called to complain earlier about Braxton Hicks and the amount of makeup Lucy was forcing upon her. Only the phone called he had received minutes prior informed him that Lucy was pretty sure they weren't Braxton Hicks anymore and being shown into the manager's office to see his wife doubled over, he was pretty sure Lucy was right.

"It's too soon," Brenda said digging her nails into him.

"Just a couple weeks," he quickly replied.

"I'm supposed to have more time," she whined.

"They started coming really hard and fast out of nowhere," Lucy informed him looking frantic. "One minute she was fine-"

"It's going to be okay," he nodded at Lucy, he couldn't deal with her panic right now. "You called the ambulance right after you called me right?" He had already been on his way to see her when he'd gotten the call.

"I did," a wide eyed makeup artist responded.

Brenda groaned again and dug her nails into him once more, and Jason's eyes went wide as he realized they hadn't been kidding about how fast they were coming. The doctor in him ordered himself not to panic, and he debated the pros and cons of carrying her out to the car, while reassuring her and Lucy and the makeup artist.

The EMTS arrived before he had to make that call and they had Brenda on the stretcher in record time, moving her out of the store through a back entrance, away from the public. Her water had broken before they loaded her in, but still he had faith that they could make it to GH in time. They made it in time, only it was too late and he knew he'd be murdered if she gave birth with the world watching. A minute after they pulled up with the rear doors still shut, he delivered his daughter himself. When the doors finally opened with Brenda covered and his daughter wrapped in his arms, his bright smile was returned by both of his parents.

-x-X-April 98-X-x-

Sonny hated himself for being so thankful, she looked as miserable as he felt, he relished running into them, seeing Brenda exhausted, disconnected and overall wretched looking. He didn't see Brenda out with the baby unless Jason was with her, he knew that Edward had hired them a nanny, installed full time in the brownstone they had moved into early on in Brenda's pregnancy, since Jason wasn't comfortable with Brenda being in the middle of nowhere while pregnant.

Jason always looked prideful and joyous, while Brenda looked lost. Sonny bided his time and tried to figure out a plan for them to escape the lies they had been living.

-x-X-May 98-X-x-

Her laughter confused Sonny, it had been so long since he had heard it; he didn't recognize the sound at first. He turned to see her holding baby, Amanda, tight against her body while Lois pushed Brooke in a double stroller, obviously meant for the two cousins to ride together.

He knew from Robin that Brenda had picked the name, Amanda from a child's book and that Jason had liked it for its meaning, 'She who must be loved.' He tried not to think of how well their daughters' names blended. Adela and Amanda.

Suddenly though, there was Brenda strolling along with her daughter close to her chest looking as she once had, looking as she hadn't in quite some time.

He went with a smile as Lois called his name. He smiled as she and Lois were laughing about Amanda having absolutely no trace of Brenda within her. He ignored that prideful and pleased look as she feigned annoyance over that fact. Brenda with a fair, blonde hair and blue-eyed daughter, pleased because she looked like Jason.

-x-X-Thanksgiving 98-X-x-

"You guys know we need to get out of the car don't you?" Brenda said as they pulled up in front of the Quartermaines and neither Jason nor Emily made any move to vacate the car.

"Do we have to?" Emily's voice held a tinge of a teenager's whine.

"Yea remind me why we have to?" Jason questioned.

"Because you are good children," she ordered, yet made no move to get out of the car.

"Let's be honest they only really want to see Amanda, why don't you go with her and Jason and I will come back and pick you up."

"Yea right like you're leaving me alone with that skank," Brenda was quick to reply.

"How come she can call her that and I can't?" Emily asked with a frown.

"We can all call her that behind her back."

"Very mature Brenda," Jason dryly replied.

"Please, you've called her worse."

"I don't think we should expose Manders to her," Emily played the role of dutiful aunt.

"Wonder if Lila has any of that poison left over from Katherine," Brenda wondered aloud.

"Grandmother was the one that did that?" Emily asked in awe.

"You're a horrible role model," Jason sighed and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Get the child," Brenda rolled her eyes and opened her door.

-x-X-x

Caroline Leigh Quartermaine doted on her husband, after all she wasn't an idiot, she had signed an iron clad pre-nup. So she smiled adoringly at Alan, while checking out his son over his shoulder. Of course, his wife seemed to have some type of freakish radar and immediately swooped in to tuck herself under his arm, _some people were just so insecure. _

She lit up though when the nanny finally came walking through the door with Morgan, her sweet darling little Morgan with his perfect blue eyes and his perfect red hair. She hated the thought of having to have all of these enemies at his first birthday party next month, but Alan kept calling them family. She knew better, she knew the moment she let her guard down around any of them they would stab her in the back.

-x-X-x-

"Brenda get Amanda over by the turkey," Edward ordered the moment she walked back into the room after feeding Amanda.

"But we-"

"Brenda, walk over to the turkey and pose with my great granddaughter," he repeated his order, "Jason get in there with them."

They both sighed, but went with fake smiles on their faces.

"Brenda, no one can see her face if you're holding her like that," Edward said regarding Brenda cradling Amanda. "Turn her vertical," he circled with his finger. "Much better," he nodded. "Well what are you waiting for Reginald, take the picture."

"Edward be nice," Lila scolded.

"You are aware he's the help right?"

"Ed-"

"Oh fine, please."

"Everyone say turkey," Reginald said with a smile.

Amanda spit her milk up all over the turkey, the camera flashed.

"I am so glad we ate at Monica's," Brenda said looking appropriately disgusted by the sight despite the fact that it was her child.

"Don't worry, pizzas' in the kitchen," Reginald said putting the camera down as he went to go inform Cook that another meal had been ruined.

* * *

AN: I was going to have Alan's new wifey be Eve from Port Charles, but decided to go with Carly. Revenge on Bobbie would definitely take a backseat to being loaded. Baby's name is Morgan (because seriously Lila is the one to suck up to in the family), but think Michael in terms of looks.


	20. Domestic Bliss

**Details: **Maxie set up a really nice Brenda return the other week (and yes I totally watched nearly a week's worth of GH…Totally freaking great, nothing was done to annoy me so much I had to turn off the show completely and Liz called herself a slut….You know I'm happy). So this is a one shot that takes place directly after Spinelli and Maxie not getting married, well a few days after that, but none of the GH plots that have developed are included (especially considering I don't even know what they are).

Random Tidbit: DO NOT BUY A DELL. Seriously completely not kidding. I have had great costumer service in the past, but a bad windows update and a BUNCH (and I mean a bunch) of people who have NO idea what they're doing has proven to me that they cannot be trusted anymore (the fact that they couldn't transfer me properly obviously should have been a sign they would not be able to fix a mistake they created). Seriously failure after failure on their part and ALL of my stories were nearly lost to their stupidity. Thank god for friend's of friends who actually understand the workings of a computer.

* * *

_The Path to…_

(Domestic Bliss)

"Welcome home dear," Jason had just made it past the desk when he heard those words and looked up in time to see Brenda in a long black button down approaching the end of the pool table, two pilsners in her hands, full of a golden liquid.

"What are you doing here and in my shirt?"

"Hello Brenda, I've missed you so much, it's been too long," she spoke for him as she continued walking towards him.

"Hello Brenda, it's good to see you," he repeated, "now why are you here and in my shirt?" he asked as he took the glass from her outstretched hand.

"You have one apron and it says kiss the cook," she rolled her eyes, "obviously I wasn't putting that on, figured you'd rather if I killed a button down."

_She was right, _he couldn't deny that. "Brenda," he began as the glass automatically lifted to his lips without thought, he frowned after taking a sip of the concoction, "this is actually good." He took another sip, "What is this?"

"Ginger and tangerine Caipirinha," she settled herself onto the couch.

"Pretty potent," he took another sip of the sugary drink.

"Lois and I hit up the Portuguese festival a few years ago out in Jersey, they had these bad boys in the Chinese soup quart containers and a straw…People on the train didn't like us very much that day," she smirked.

"I'm sure," he took another sip; sure he was going to need it, before he settling into an arm chair. "You aren't in trouble are you?" the drink froze inches away from his lips.

"Can't a girl just miss her former spouse?"

"What did you do?"

"I'm offended Jason," she answered with sad eyes and a hand on her chest.

"Just tell me," he took another sip.

"I got a call from Kate-"

"Howard?" Jason frowned.

Brenda nodded, "She offered me a job again."

"Again?"

"I'm pretty sure the first one was to test Sonny and piss off Carly," she waved off the topic. "She liked the pieces I did in Marie Claire last year."

Jason stared blankly at her.

"Woman's magazine," she explained. "She thinks I have a good writing style, apparently I'm accessible, which Lo and Robin have been trying to convince me is a good thing. And you know let's face it Jason, I'm getting older. I can't be a pretty face and a hot body forever...Speaking of which, I have this great eye cream."

Jason glared.

"Just saying," she shrugged. "So I was talking to Robin about it and she told me that Spinelli thought you needed people around you, so he didn't want to move out and Brooke's in my apartment anyway with her boyfriend," Brenda made a face, not even wanting to think about what her goddaughter and boyfriend were doing in her Brooklyn apartment.

He stared blankly at her, _she wasn't really saying that…_

"I wouldn't even be here that often and Robin spent hours talking Mac into offering Spinelli and Maxie the place above the Outback because apparently the manager was living there, but she got a job offer in Rochester."

"Br-" he tried to interrupt.

"And considering that's apparently my first assignment. Either Spinelli moves out or there's going to be a photo shoot-"

"Brenda," his voice raised.

She stopped in her rant and looked at him, "You were the one who-" she launched back in.

"If you ever wanted to come back, you could."

"So there," she shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

"If you want to move back in, temporarily, for you, that's fine. But if you think I need someone to babysit me."

She rolled her eyes.

"I don't need the company, I'm fine on my own despite what Spinelli thinks."

"The point is he thinks it and according to Robin, he's like a dog with a bone once he gets a thought in his head."

Jason could concede that.

"So I move in for a few months because there's no way I'm having Brooke and her boyfriend in the room next door mine and I can't fly back to Italy whenever I have some downtown, well I could, but-" She stopped herself, "IF I like the job, then I'll find my own place."

"Okay," he took another sip of his drink, definitely figured out why she had put them in the big glasses.

"That's it?"

"Did you want me to fight you?"

Her shoulders bounced while she thought about it, "Expected," she finally answered with a shrug, "I had some really good points."

"That's why you have the dog," he frowned and looked around.

"JJ's still sleeping off the drugs, don't worry I put him in your room, in case he woke up confused."

He frowned as he stood, putting down his drink. "You did stop calling him that right?"

"Oh calm down, he's still Baz, he's only Jason Jr. when he's being annoying," she smirked as he took the stairs three at a time, rushing to save his carpet.

Thirty seconds later, she was smirking again as she heard Jason cry out. She was still chuckling as she went to open the door. _Sam_, she had been waiting years to meet her doppelganger.

Brenda greeted her with a bight and cheery, "Hi,"

Sam stared blankly at her, blinking and failing to keep her eyes off of Jason's shirt, "Uh, hi."

Brenda looked down, "Oh no," she lifted the edge to revel a pair of black jersey workout shorts, "just a smock so I don't ruin my clothing."

"Oh," she nodded slowly.

"Come in, it's so nice to meet you, I've been hearing about you for years. Jason's just upstairs with the dog, he should be down soon. Do you want a drink? I made Caipirinhas? I could actually use a real opinion on them."

"Drink sounds great," she nodded emphatically.

"I have chicken empanadas and beef esfirras really to go in, if you're hungry."

"Um I could eat, I suppose," Sam shrugged trailing after Brenda.

-x-x-X-x-x-

Jason pulled back his shoulders as he mentally prepared himself for more Brenda as he walked through the living room, then frowned as he realized Brenda's voice wasn't alone in the kitchen as he first though, that was…_Sam. _He quickened his pace.

"So then Jason-" Brenda stopped, but the smile remained on her face as Jason entered the room.

"I what?" he questioned.

Sam turned still laughing. "Oh my god that has got to be the smallest, cutest dog I've ever seen."

"Yea, we call him JJ," Brenda smiled.

Jason glared, "Sebastian."

"Oh he's yours?" Sam questioned rushing over to the fluffy grey dog with a white face, smaller than Jason's forearm.

"Yea," Brenda smiled, "but Jason picked him out. Grey, black, doesn't bark and he was the only one whose ears didn't stand up. Hence the Jason Jr."

"Oh he's so adorable," Sam cuddled in close to the dog cradled against Jason's chest, "aren't you the cutest puppy ever?" She held her hand out for him to smell, he licked it, "And friendly."

"Didn't get that from Jason," Brenda said before taking a sip.

"Can I?" Sam held her hands out.

"Yea, he's good now," he said passing over the dog. "Are you cooking?" he realized his stove was on.

"Yea, empanadas and esfirras for now. Lamb, greens and yucca for later. Did you change?"

He glared.

She snorted, "He peed on you and not your bed? I swear I took him for a walk before we started cooking."

Jason made a face. "Why'd you make so much food?"

"I'm still a little confused as to how you're cooking, I thought you couldn't," Sam shook her head just prior to making kissing faces at the dog.

Brenda rolled her eyes at Jason, "Seriously?"

"You burn toast," he defended.

She shrugged. "Toast."

"But you make a Brazilian feast?"

"I spent 4 years being a rich man's girlfriend and I get bored easily, pretty much a jack of all trades at this point."

"She's cooked for me _once_ before," Jason nodded. The same day they had gotten the dog. She had drunk dialed with Lois, only she had stayed on even after Lois had walked away bored, despite the fact that she had been the one to egg on Brenda to make the call. It hadn't been hard for Jason to find out they were drinking away their man troubles. Worry over what she might continue to do if it went on unheeded had prompted him to accept her offer of brunch the next day. The dog had pretty much solved the problem, the fact that he growled and ran away from her when she tried to dress him was just a plus.

"Oh don't be melodramatic, I made pancakes at least a couple times when I lived here and cookies," she pointed at him. The add water and slice factor counted as cooking.

"Point is why are you cooking now?"

"I'm doing like a recessionista section, design on a budget, dining in, that kind of thing." Brenda took a sip of her drink as she contemplated her question, "So Kate and backhanded compliments? Should I get used to that?"

Sam laughed, "What did she say?"

"She termed my style of dress as American chic, laid back, casual, like I didn't give a damn when I got dressed in the morning."

Jason almost snorted this time, "She's never tried to lift your suitcases."

-x-x-X-x-x-

Ten minutes later…

As the Crimson talk died down as Jason finally retrieved his…Brenda's dog after Baz had nearly leapt out of Sam's arm to his, did Sam have the chance to process what had been said and question further, especially Brenda's sudden return to Port Charles.

"I thought you were dating Niall Burgess? Didn't you like just meet his mom?"

Sam immediately responded to Jason's firm gaze, "Somehow Maxie got me reading Perez Hilton, there should probably be a rehab for it, since I'm pretty sure it's more addictive than crack."

Jason gently shook his head.

"Anyway, he's beyond gorgeous. Perez keeps drawing wedding rings and babies when he posts pictures of you two."

Brenda sighed, "Yea, he started off so well. The Ducati, blowing me off, couldn't commit to anything past the day. He was perfect."

Sam grew worried.

"Or as Ned nicknamed him, the Irish Jagger." She sighed louder, "Then his biological clock started ticking." She shook her head, "I swear we had the talk, no marriage, no kids, none of that picket fence stuff."

Sam not for the first time questioned Brenda's sanity; after all she had heard many stories over the years. Niall had been on a British soap when he and Brenda had first started dating, Brenda was the more recognizable of the two, she had been in numerous ad campaigns, starred in several independent films, been a minor character in a few commercial productions and guest staring tv roles. They dated on and off, but since he had struck it big, the other girls had phased out and Brenda was the only one he was photographed with. Her low key status which had been bumped up by simply being his girlfriend had been raised several more notches a few months ago when director of his latest film had invited Niall and Brenda over for dinner, so the two men could discuss the character. Instead he found Tom's Sonia. The agent assigned to watchover the ex-spy Tom Landry, only he didn't know being his girlfriend was her cover until they had to save his life and the world together. The trailer had look really good, she and Kristina were already planning on going. Not to mention he really was crazy hot.

Brenda once more sighed and took another sip of her drink, "Promotional tour is going to be a lot of fun."

Jason took another sip of his drink, he knew what this was. This was Brenda running away from having to deal with him.

"Didn't he just buy a house out in California?"

Jason just gave Sam another look.

"Not kidding. Crack Jason."

Brenda halfway snorted, "He did and he asked me to move in with him. Hence me being on the other coast while he comes to his senses."

Sam wasn't sure if this fact reassured her or scared her out of her mind.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"I like her," Brenda said as Jason settled in next to her on the couch, the Pappi Poo resting inbetween them, having just walked Sam to the door.

"Yea, Sam's good," Jason agreed as his thumb flicked over the dog's head, as his hand more than palmed the tiny dog's head. She had proven herself over and over to him, he could still remember the hurt and the betrayal, but she was more, they were more than those few hurtful months between them.

"You know if you don't want me here-"

"Sam has her own place," he cut her off before she could continue.

"But if it's going to be a problem-"

"It's not."

"J-"

"If I have to kick you out, I'm keeping the dog."

She laughed and took another sip of her drink, her second by now, "I just don't want to screw things up."

"Brenda, we're friends. Sam understands that it. Anyway I don't even know what's going on between me and Sam."

She turned and gave him a look.

"Don't start," he ordered.

She happily sighed as she leaned her head back against the couch, things for the first time in a long time felt settled, she was safe in the cocoon of her hometown.

She turned as she heard Jason let out a small groan, she watched as he downed half of his freshly filled glass in one go. "Problem?" she questioned as he finally stopped.

"I have to tell Carly you're back," his empty voice spoke, defeated at the prospect of telling his pregnant best friend, her number one rival had returned.

The cackle Brenda let out from next to him, did nothing to reassure him.

* * *

Ummm….Hmmm….I liked it more in my mind. I don't know what happened. But oh well. Thanks for reading! I'm sorry it wasn't better.


	21. Too Late

So I um, well, I get distracted when it comes to writing. I have no control over my muse, she just kind of drags me off everywhere when I'm supposed to be working on something else. So there had been another round of 'Will she come back regarding VM?' so then of course off goes the muse and AOL actually had a link to a how awesome MB had been with VM (which let's face it, totally true, she brings out the best in everyone) and I had the moment of "Can Sonny be saved by Brenda?" So my mind allowed Brenda returning to a broken Sonny and then next thing I know my mind is flashing through that story to this, a scene which would take place, ages after her return.

Who knows if it makes sense to anyone, but me? :-P

Umm I hope you don't hate. **Thanks for reading!  
**

* * *

_The Path to…_

(Too Late)

Her hair was dirty. The curls hadn't been washed in days. 'Smell my hair, smells like gummy bears, the white ones,' was gone. Her face hadn't been washed either and it had passed oily days ago and was now covered in a sheen of sweat. Beneath his hand, lay her equally grimy one, nails were chipped and filled with dirt. Gold was against gold though as he spoke to the woman resting against his chest. Gold against gold in an unforgotten part of South America, unfortunately not unforgotten by those chasing them, with only dirt and grass beneath them where they sat, she was leaned against him and he against the tree. "Brenda-"

"No just listen to me Jason," her voice was weary, the fight had stopped once they had stopped running, the car ran out of gas, they had no choice, they had run until their legs could carry them no more and then had collapsed against this tree.

He remained silent.

"We aren't going to make it, I got us into this, you need to just turn me over to them."

"Not going to happen."

"It's I die or both of us die," her voice was oddly calm as she was asking him to send her to her death.

"We're not going to die," he told her.

"Jason it's been three days, your arm is infected, you can barely walk. The blood loss alone should have killed you."

It hadn't because she had managed to stop it, but there hadn't been the proper supplies to take care of the wound after they had escaped her captors.

"I just need antibiotics."

"Then you need to let me go into town."

"No," he shook his head, "they're looking for us."

"We don't have any other choices."

"Br-"

"If you die, I die. You have to let me try."

He sighed.

"You know it's the only way."

"In the morning, we'll go together."

"J-"

"It's almost dark now, you'd never make it."

"The morning," her head nodded against his chest.

"Just get some sleep now Brenda," he used all of his strength to move his injured arm off his leg to wrap it around her. Letting her support its weight and more importantly keeping her in place.

"I'm sorry Jason," she whispered.

"This isn't your fault."

"They're after me."

"Just go to sleep Brenda."

"You should let me go Jason; you can still go home, have a life; raise Jake."

"Better or worse Brenda, now go to sleep."

He knew the moment she dropped off, wrapped in his arms, her shallow, quick breaths eventually deepened slightly and sounded as if they were struggling less. He let himself follow after her, after all they were done. Done running. Done with everything.

-x-x-X-x-x-

Hours passed according to his watch when he awoke fully, only vaguely being aware of the passage of time as he fitfully slept. His body in an effort to survive hadn't allowed him to fully return to consciousness, but he awoke aware of the situation, of Brenda's growing fever, matching his own, her breath even more ragged than the ones he was struggling to take.

He had been aware her growing exhaustion could no longer be attributed to her ordeal shortly after he had run the people off the road who were chasing them, but they hadn't been able to stop. He had been sure they would find a way out of it up ahead, but when the gas gage reached empty and they were still stranded away from a town full of people willing to turn them over to the local cartel…

They had needed to keep moving anyway, when the pair chasing them failed to check in, others would be sent their way.

He hadn't realized she was so sick though until she was in his arms.

Jason's thoughts still remained on survival, only know he prayed he would outlast her.

She couldn't be left alone to die with only his body for company, he wouldn't do that to her.

She had been muttering through her fever.

His arms had been everyone. From her father to Sonny to Jax.

He wished she was finding peace, but it only ever sounded like more pain.

"Jason," her tired voice questioned.

"I'm here," he promised.

"I ever tell you, marrying you was the best decision I ever made?"

"Br-"

Her head shook against him, "It was. I'm really sorry I got you killed though. Really didn't expect that one."

He tightened his arms around her.

"I don't know how, but it, we worked more than anything else I've ever done. Guess that's why they say that whole thing about arranged marriages."

He found himself laughing slightly against her despite the fact that even his ribs hurt.

"I didn't even like you; somehow you ended up being my best friend."

Again another painful chuckle.

"I love you," she whispered as she was fading back out.

"I love you too," he whispered back as he leaned to kiss her head. He could smell the sweat and dirt, no candy scents remained, but mixed with it all was Brenda. Brenda, the woman he had married and promised to protect until the end. His vow was about to come true. He just needed to hold out a little bit longer. He may not have been able to save her, but he would not fail her.

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

"Over here!" the loud voice rung in Jason's ear.

He was too tired to fight or even be scared. He was annoyed though. He just wanted to sleep. He kept his eyes closed.

"Oh thank god, Jason, Brenda" she tried to summon their attention.

Jason's ears perked up as he heard the English accent. Anna Devane.

His eyelids finally fought their way open to a flutter as Anna was checking Brenda.

"Still alive, but barely, get the medics over here immediately," she ordered the rude man that had awoken Jason.

Jason stared in confusion at her.

"Robin would have my head if I let Brenda die," she offered with a smile, "that and I figured you're not a bad guy to owe me a favor."

"Got it," he said as his eyes closed again.

-x-

-x-x-x-

-x-

It was five days later when the private plane took them on the final leg of their journey, the private airport at the edge of Port Charles.

Anna had left them days ago, when it was decided they would recover from their various ailments. So the ride had been silent as Brenda rested with her head against Jason's shoulder, resting against his good arm. He held her hand for most of the flight; after all, it would be their luck to have the plane crash when they were so close to being safe.

It was bright as they got off the plane, their reactions still slowed from their brush with death; their eyes struggled to adjust to the light. Brenda turned towards his shoulder to block it out as he raised his hand, neither making any attempt to descend the stairs. As their eyes adjusted, as Jason's hand lowered and Brenda's head turned, did they see the limo in front of them. Did they see Sonny and Sam standing in front of it with relieved expressions.

"Brenda," Sonny called out and walked towards the stairs.

She nodded at him. She kept her hand in Jason's, but took the stairs ahead of him, leading him down.

"Oh god sweetheart," Sonny said as she took the final step, pulling her into him, breaking her link with Jason.

Jason barely had a moment to register its loss as Sam pressed herself against him, "I don't think I've ever been so scared Jason."

"It's okay," he said with his arms tightly wrapped around her, forcing himself to look down, "we're fine."

"I'm tired," Brenda spoke her first words.

"Oh god baby," Sonny said kissing her head, "I'm sure. Come on we'll get you home to bed."

"Spinelli's in the car, he insisted on coming," Sam told Jason as she nodded towards the parking lot.

"Come on sweetheart, let's get you home," Sonny said turning Brenda, who followed without fight, towards the limo. "Thank you, Jason," Sonny said turning back after helping Brenda into the car, "I…." he shook his head, "thank you." He climbed into the car.

Jason stared as they drove away, sure now of one thing. He was in love with the woman he had married.

"Jason?" Sam questioned, her hand lifted to touch his cheek, the diamond catching the sun's rays.

The problem was, she wasn't the only woman he had married.

* * *

_Comments? _

_Once again thanks for reading.  
_


	22. Too Late Pt 2

AN: Damn, I totally left an extra line in the last chapter by accident, I had edited it out, but I didn't notice that it had been cut and pasted in. :-( Sorry.

This really is it for this Path to. My original thought was going to be actually following Brazen around on some of their adventures and normal life, instead this is from Sonny's point of view. Good news is because I didn't include the, on the run and faking like a married couple storyline in this fic, means I can use it in another fic.

The ending of this story is actually one I had decided upon for a fic that never made it past 600 words and it's totally from Dallas, why I was allowed to watch Dallas I have no idea, nighttime soaps, even worse than daytime ones to a kid. :-P I always love how an outside party sees something and I'm pretty sure it's because of that.

As always thanks for reading folks and those of you who review are beyond amazing and those who don't should silently be thanking those folks as well because they keep stories going. :-P

* * *

_The Path to_

(Too Late Pt.2)

She had come back into his life during his darkest time. When guards, orderlies, and doctors were Deke taunting him. Where he was haunted by all of his past mistakes. Unborn children crying at him. A burnt Lily, still smiling at him. Joe Scully clutching his stomach, calling him son. Carly and Michael both holding their heads. And Brenda…

Brenda was everywhere.

Crying on the floor, begging for him.

Cowered in the corner of the shower.

Standing in the rain crying…

That pink and white outfit.

Her wedding dress.

Drowned, bloated and blue…That image had haunted him for 4 years, only to leave when she returned, but it had come back to him on the second day of solitary confinement and had stayed with him when they moved him to the hospital.

Then one day she crawled into bed with him. She covered his body with hers. She swore she wouldn't leave him, he didn't even need to beg, she always knew exactly what he needed before he did.

Days that had been filled with night, slowly filled with light and one day he realized she was real.

She had come back to him, despite everything he had done.

The money and the power, it hadn't been worth it. Not when it had cost him her. Had cost them years apart.

When Diane managed to get a mistrial declared, he had married her on the land he had bought for her. Surrounded by flowers and sunshine because she was the light in his life, she was in fact his life.

He left the life that had cost him her, behind.

When a new trial date was set, he panicked. He and Brenda fled. Only he was with Max, while Brenda and Jason tried to keep the authorities off his trail. He was separated from his wife for two weeks before word reached him that Morgan had been hurt and he realized he was unable to stay away from his children.

He ran for no reason though, Dante sabotaged his own testimony and set his father free.

For awhile life was perfect, he had his wife and his children. He'd wondered why he ever needed anything more.

Then one day, there was noise from underground. Whispers of someone looking to cash in on the bounty Rivera had placed on his and Brenda's heads. He tried to protect her, but failed.

He awoke in a compound, just in time to watch them inject an unconscious Brenda as "You get to watch her suffer," was whispered into his ear, they poisoned his wife, so she would die slowly before his eyes.

During the frantic minutes between Jason taking out the guards that had been watching him and their dash out of there, he made him promise to save her, no matter what and it hadn't been so horrible when he felt that bullet pierce his side because he knew Jason wouldn't let him down. Jason had turned back briefly, but continued running, dragging Brenda with him as she screamed. Only one of the other men Jason had come with managed to survive and he had managed to get Sonny out of there, the year they had been forced to go legit hadn't slowed the other man too much and Sonny was infinitely grateful as guards fell dead around him.

Then one day passed, then two without word from Brenda and Jason. They recovered what Brenda had been injected with and Robin created an antidote, but with no Brenda to give it to, their hope quickly faded.

Then the call came that they had been found and the next day he heard his wife's weak voice on the phone. She had been only hours from death, at the most.

Power he had decided then wasn't a bad thing. Power kept him feared. Power kept his family surrounded with people willing to die for them. He didn't hide it from her this time, lies had destroyed them before, he wouldn't risk it again.

Her car was basically a tank, she had a driver and a guard. He would never leave her vulnerable again. He listened to her complaints, but in the end would only make minor changes meant to appease her enough until she realized he was doing it for her own good. The GPS in her phone had proved worthless after the last kidnapping, so he gifted her with a Cartier watch that her captors would be less likely to discard, but never told her of the addition he had added to it. He moved them out of their 'castle' because there were too many vulnerabilities and back into Greystone Manor.

Her quietness after the attack, proved to him he was doing the right thing. She was withdrawn and smiled less. Three days of struggling to live had taken their toll on Brenda and Jason. Jason's marriage crumbled within months of his return and he had been quick to refuse returning to his old ways along with Sonny.

Brenda and Jason had come too close to death.

It took them months to even begin acting slightly normal again.

Then one Thursday as he pulled up to his house with a smile because Brenda had been acting like herself for the past two days, it all changed.

Brenda was still out; her driver had called after he dropped her off at Jason's, to check in.

His wife's cell phone went straight to voicemail.

He called her guard. It did the same.

He was panicking now and desperate not to show it, for all those times Jason had begged him to ease up on Brenda, he should have been doing more.

However, when the driver picked up, on the first ring, he instantly calmed. He was told they hadn't come down from Jason's yet. So Sonny dialed that number next. The cell went to voicemail as did his house phone. The driver was back on the phone and being ordered to go up to the apartment, as Sonny was already heading to his front door.

Two minutes later he got a call that made no sense. Her guard was bound and drugged and a note addressed to him lay on the coffee table along with their phones, her watch and wedding ring.

He was sure it was a setup even as he read the note, positive she had been forced to write it because while he knew he was overprotective, he could not be the man Brenda described in her letter. He could not have made her so frightened she would flee like this. Jason would have never betrayed him, never helped his wife leave him, even though he had warned Sonny for months to stop watching her like a hawk, reminding him Brenda was an adult and he was giving her less leeway than Morgan.

Then as her guard started to be roused by forced coffee and ice water being dumped on him did he start to realize the truth. Brenda brought the guard the iced tea, Jason had removed the other man's phone as he realized he was having trouble staying awake and both had apologized as they bound his hands and feet before he passed out.

He started to realize that upon their return, they had been quiet with each other, awkward even as their bickering disappeared. Jason's marriage had crashed and burned. Brenda no longer melted into his arms as she once had.

His wife and best friend had run off together.

Filled with anger he wrote them off. He refused to speak of them with anyone, even the cops when they had come questioning their disappearance. Word eventually trickled back to him that Robin confessed that Brenda and Jason had been planning on running away together. He knew only part of the town thought they were successful and the rest thought he had taken care of his wife and her lover himself.

The fury never died as he expected it would, he married Olivia because after all she was the mother of his oldest son, following a quick divorce from Brenda on an island that didn't need her consent. He gave Olivia a daughter because she confessed that was the one thing she truly wanted. He thought of Brenda before she had been kidnapped, how eager she was to start a family and how annoyed she had been with their lack of progress. Upon her return, she refused to see the fertility specialist and said, "If it happens, it happens." She hadn't wanted anything to tie herself to him.

He wanted revenge he eventually realized. Against the man who had stolen his wife. Against the wife who had betrayed him.

He silently put people out looking for them.

Years they remained silent, then one day, the new man he hired, one he had been reassured could find anyone anywhere questioned him and asked him a question no one had ever mentioned as he went over Brenda's final week looking for a clue. "Why was your wife at the doctor's?"

"Checkup," he answered with a shake of her head.

"Her gynecologist?"

He gave the man an annoyed look, _he would have to be let go, _"Women have to go twice a year."

"Every six months," the man nodded, "your wife's appointment was only 4 months after her last one."

Sonny sat a little straighter.

"I'll start there; let you know what I find."

What he found was a pregnancy confirmation 4 days before Brenda had taken off with Jason.

Two months of wondering if it was his child or Jason's followed before he got the call that they had been found in Texas.

He left the guards at home and went straight to Jason's new garage only to find it closed; then a short drive over to their house, he found that to be empty as well. He wondered if something had tipped them off, he couldn't break in and wait for them, their neighbors saw his car pull up, they were already suspicious. He drove back over to Jason's shop hoping for inspiration.

He instead found a diner.

He played the role of a charming city boy, inquiring after the town's only mechanic.

"No Sug, he doesn't do the weekends. Richie used to take Saturdays, but he's been gone awhile now. Sometimes you can get Bobby to come in if it's a rush. I think he might be away though."

Dimples came out, "What kind of garage is closed on Saturdays?"

"Ben's a family man and with five, he needs the two full days or he'd lose track of some," she smiled back at him.

"Five wow, that's pretty impressive," his hand tightened on the coffee cup and he had to stop himself before he shattered it. He had five, possibly six, if Jason had not only stolen his wife, but his child.

"Shawn," blue eyes sparkled as she leaned in close, "was born right over there," one perfectly manicured red nail pointed to a back wall.

"Here?" he gestured pointing down.

"Right here, horrible storm May, four, five years ago. The kind where the skies just break right over you with no warning. They come running in with the baby, their eldest, in their arms. I swear not five minutes pass before we realize she's in labor. First, they think they'll just wait it out, then I swear that next contraction hit about two minutes later. He's handing William, that's their eldest, cutest little boy, looks just like his mama, well anyway, he's handing him over and Ben goes to leave to get their truck and hail and I mean the kind of hail that's the size of golf balls starts coming down. Now, you know hail doesn't normally last that long, just a few minutes. Five, maybe ten minutes after this one stops, Shawn's crying in his father's arms. I swear if I had labors that fast, I would have had a dozen."

"Guess that's why she had five."

"Oh no, just the two oldest and the youngest are theirs naturally. Richie, the fellow that used to work Saturdays, he and his wife were pretty much adopted by the Walkers, she died last year; he just couldn't cope with having two young babies. Ben and Jessie adopted them formally just a few weeks ago. Ben actually drove up to Arizona last Christmas and dragged Richie back home for the holidays. When I tell you he's a family man, I ain't exaggeratin' it doll."

"Guess your town raises them right," the dimples came out again.

She laughed, "They actually only got here a few months before Shawn, right before Christmas actually. You wouldn't have know it though, by the time Christmas hit, they not only had the house and the garage, but a grandmother for their kids. Never seen anyone settle in so fast."

He laughed; Dottie would have probably generally amused him, except for the fact that the couple she was talking about were his lying wife and backstabber of a best friend, who had most likely stolen his child. Still though, he continued to play along, he hadn't given David a chance to find out any further information, he had flown here as soon as he heard they were found. "How does one go about getting a grandmother?"

"Shirley insisted on meeting the people that wanted to buy her house, she couldn't afford to keep it, her husband just died and both of their boys passed young, her youngest had leukemia, died before he even hit high school and her oldest died in the first gulf war, friendly fire, they say, poor child was only 18.

So there was a childless mother and two children with no mother, about to have two babies under the age of one. Hank said, he was the realtor, within a half hour Jess was asking Shirley to live with them instead of move in with her sister. All Shirley knows is raising a family; she took care of her kids, her husband and their house. Jess, well Jess learned," Dottie smiled.

He laughed.

"The whole thing I say is serendipitous. The Walkers needed a family, Shirley needed a family, and Richie and Lynne needed a family. Five kids now, smothered in love, even though 2 of them lost their mother."

"That's quite amazing," the words caught in his throat.

"Sometimes life just works out," she gave a small smile, not to him, but one that truly came from within, "it's nice to see that every once in awhile. Like there's really a point to it all."

It took every ounce of Sonny's strength to keep the smile on his face. Everything in his life had been about her. She was his reward for surviving his childhood; she was the salvation that healed him. She made his world turn; she made his heart beat for more than just the obligatory reason of living. He lived because of her, for her. His wife, his son, they had been his future, they had been everything he ever wished for and Jason had stolen them. "So chances are I'm not getting my car fixed today?"

She let out a quick laugh, "You can find him over at the park, there's a puppet show on later today, I'm sure they'll already be over there. I bet you can charm his wife into having him look at your car. If you can't I'm sure he'll be able to give you the number of someone that can help you. There's a mechanic in the next town as well, but he's a drunk."

He avoided the urge to leap off the stool, "Any distinguishing marks to recognize him?"

She frowned thinking about it, "You see a family that has a blonde father around 6 feet, dark haired mother, maybe 5'5, two little boys with brown hair, two little girls with blonde and grandmother and a baby and you've found them. Otherwise just ask people you see for Ben Walker, park isn't big, they should be able to point out towards them."

He smiled and stood, "Thank you for your help and your company, Dottie," he smiled, the charming dimples that had once made his wife love him before she destroyed him and threw down a ten to cover his coffee.

She walked him to the door of the diner and pointed him in the direction of the park; he smiled and repeated his thanks.

He would watch them from afar today and call for backup tomorrow if he couldn't figure out how to get the one up on Jason.

-x-x-X-x-x-

The park was crowded; it was easy to blend in. Glad he had chosen to wear jeans and a tee shirt in an attempt to blend in, the baseball cap and sunglasses, helped hide his features, but wasn't noticeably out of place in the summer sun. He systematically wandered for five minutes before he saw them, he was called to them through her laugh. It pulled him in as it had when she was 19, for a second he forgot everything and nearly pushed through people to reach her. She couldn't have betrayed him, she had been weak and vulnerable after South America. The whole thing was almost Stockholm syndrome, of course she identified with Jason and followed him…

Then he saw them playing soccer. She had on a pair of brown shorts and an oversized white tee shirt, along with a pair of brightly colored sneakers. She wasn't the waif of a wife who had left him, she looked like the young girl he had fallen in love with, only now they were the curves of a new mother. Her hair was straightened and pulled into a high ponytail that was swinging as she ran backwards laughing.

Her line of sight, led him to Jason. His hair was light again, his skin was tan. He wore a Texas Rangers tee and a pair of khaki shorts, his shoes held more color than anything Sonny had ever seen Jason wear. The smile on his face…He almost didn't look like Jason.

He ran forward and scooped a small blonde girl up in his arms; she couldn't have been more than 2 by the way she toddled, she was ecstatic to be in his arms. Then he saw the rest of the children, surrounding the soccer, 2 boys, 1 girl, filling out the teams. He immediately knew the eldest was his son. His son's hair was significantly darker than his half brother's, skin ever so slightly darker and there was just something about his eyes…

The ball broke free of the trio with Jason's son leading it towards Brenda and the two other children nearly tripping over their feet to get it away. Then Brenda's feet battled with Shawn's to keep it out of their makeshift goal, it ended with Brenda on her back with Shawn draped across her, throwing his arms up in victory as the two older children groaned, Jason was laughing as the little girl in his arms imitated her brothers victorious pose.

His son went off with his adopted sister, to retrieve the ball from a young man and Jason's son stood and offered his mother a hand, she was still laughing as she stood. The boy ran off to his siblings and Brenda walked past Jason and tapped the young girl in his arms on the nose before she scooped her into her own arms. His eyes followed her as Jason went towards the older. He watched her reach a checkered picnic blanket; saw the older woman and baby in a carrier that Dottie mentioned.

She sat with the little girl still in her arms, and offered her a sip of a juice box before taking one herself. Then the little girl scrambled out of her arms and grabbed a cookie, while Brenda and Shirley laughed.

He heard _Ben's _yell for "_Jess" _as Brenda had a hand on her baby with a wistful smile on her face. He saw the two women squabble and both shook their heads. Jason jogged over and the children were around him cheering and laughing as he pulled Brenda up by under her arms.

He turned then, he couldn't watch them anyone.

If he had ever loved her, if he had ever loved Jason, if he had ever truly wanted the best for his child….

He could hear her laugh; he could hear her cry out, "Ben" as children giggled. His heart tore.

He should have been happy for the life they had, but instead his heart ached and he wondered when he had become the man she had described.

He thanked god she left him because he would have never let her go. For her, for the girl he had fallen in love with decades prior he called to the man, who knew her happiness, her life mattered infinitely more than his own. He called on him, to make his feet move swiftly, to pull him out of her orbit, to drag him back into the darkness so she could remain in the light.


	23. Discovering Outtake

**My thoughts regarding VM's return:**

Yes, I did cheer earlier this week with the thought of Vanessa Marcil returning to GH. Then of course I also got sad because this totally means I'm going to see her paired with MB or IR, meanwhile her chemistry with SB has been ignored for 2 freakin decades, it's like TPTB loved dangling it before us, taunting us with it. Umm I'm totally devoted to my crushes. I've wanted SB since before I knew what wanting a guy was when he was on Out of This World and well I've always wanted to be Brenda, be it Brenda B. on GH or Brenda W. on 90210, something about those Brenda's in HS that really stuck with me. :-P

**What this story is prompted from:**

So this is the prompt that I got from tanilc that I wrote the day after receiving it and totally proceeded to hate it. It just does NOT work. However, Lori was kind enough to lie and tell me she liked it. The prompt was based on the fic "Discovering Who You Become" to see the first time Brenda and Jason were together with Jake after the event. Umm somehow Jake kind of got ignored in this one shot, but he is there, but I've been playing around with another video clip for Jason to watch to show him (and us) what they were like in the early days in the actual story. There's some Carly, Sonny and Brenda stuff at the end of this just because the chapter was too short and that's stuff I wouldn't show in the other story.

You guys are awesome readers. Just wanted to remember to tell you that, don't think I ever just leave you when I'm not posting. I'm starting half bits and rereading trying to get the juices flowing.

* * *

_The Path to..._

(A Discovering Outtake) _  
_

His fingers uncontrollably bounced his phone. He'd been jostling his phone for the past minute and thinking about picking it up for the past two days.

They'd had sex. It wasn't that big of a deal. They were drunk and single and they had sex. It happened everyday across the globe.

They'd agreed not to do it again and to move past it, so why was picking up the phone so difficult? Mistakes happened.

He impulsively hit her speed dial.

She picked up on the fourth ring sounding fine, "Hey what's up?"

"Taking Jake to the park at noon, do you have any plans for lunch?"

"None that can't be cancelled for my big man," the smile in her voice could be heard over the phone. "I'm assuming I'm in charge of the food?"

"Do you want me to bring Jake?" he countered.

She let out a burst of laughter, "Fair enough. What do you want?"

"The chicken with the honey mustard."

"Meet by the swings?"

"Sounds good."

"Kay I'll see you then."

"Bye," he stared at the phone after their quick conversation and tried to figure out if anything was wrong with it. She wasn't chatty, she was frequently, but not always chatty. She'd seemed fine. He was fine. It was fine. They'd be fine.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

They were not fine.

She met them with the fleece tucked into her tote and a brown bag of sandwiches in her hand. She had gotten a wicker basket when the weather had turned nice and had given up on it after only 2 uses. The backpack picnic basket had made it to three. He was sure her impulse buys kept the Port Charles businesses in the black. He had mentioned that the last time though, repeating it would just make him look desperate for conversation.

As did every other topic he could think of, aside from talking to and about Jake, their words were limited.

It didn't help that Brenda had claimed Jake and wasn't letting him go, she aided Jake's eating as always offering him the random selection she would bring instead of the food Liz had packed. At least she hadn't tried making baby food again. They had spent hours cleaning her kitchen and he had Robin hide the food processor.

Jake was currently gnawing on the crust from her sandwich, while Brenda popped bites of fruit into her mouth.

Jason was trying not to stare at Brenda's legs, he officially hated summer.

He watched her internal debate when he asked if she wanted to walk back with them to Audrey's. She always said yes, she had no choice but to again or else prove something was indeed different.

Audrey invited them in for lemonade, they both tried to refuse, yet eventually conceded.

Brenda made small talk, while Jason finally got to hold his son, by the time they were saying goodbye twenty minutes later, Jason was filled with dread with the thought of the walk back alone.

Brenda had remained silent on the subject for over two hours, Brenda had never once in the entire time he'd known her let anything drop.

She chattered, nonstop for a few minutes, then out of nowhere, "Why the hell is this so goddamn awkward?"

He flinched, her voice had raised, they had passed the deserted residential streets and were nearing the park and people.

"It was sex, pointless, meaningless, drunk-"

"Shh," he couldn't believe he had just shushed her.

She stopped; he got the stink eye.

"Did you want the entire town to find out?" she had after all been the one to insist that no one could find out.

She scowled. Then after a moment sighed and started walking again. "A fluke of nature," she muttered under her breath. She turned to him, "That doesn't exist between us."

"Exactly," that had to be it right? It couldn't be what Monica said, 'methinks thou doth protest too much' had been her reaction one of the last times she had questioned him about he and Brenda. For months, everyone had been linking their names together or in Edward's case, 'If you have to, you can bring him.' He and Brenda...There couldn't possibly be anything between them aside from friendship and antagonism.

"Exactly," her head bobbed.

He nodded.

"It was the alcohol," she nodded again, plotting this out in her head, finally having someone to voice it to. "I mean we've kissed before and it was never-" she shook her head.

He didn't know why, but he frowned.

"We should have been alcoholics during our marriage," she said the words off hand, then looked shocked as she realized what she said. She turned briefly to see his eyebrows still lifted, "What? It would have made for a much more pleasant living environment," she quickly defended herself.

He couldn't help himself, the tension of the past few days finally broke and he laughed.

She smirked and laughed at herself, she shook her head as they continued walking in silence. "Seriously Jason, I couldn't lose you as a friend."

"Don't worry about that-"

She started to smile.

"We'd have to be friends to begin with," he finished, letting the smile loose seconds later and then another laugh as she slugged him in the arm.

"I never wanted to be this person again," her voice was soft as they approached her brownstone. "I am not that person."

"Hmmm?" he murmured his confusion before he put his foot in his mouth making assumptions.

"There are things you don't do Jason, sleeping with-" she quickly stopped as her neighbor walked out the door.

"Robin home?"

"Work."

He nodded at the door. "Explain," was all he said once they were inside the foyer.

She dumped her bag next to the console table. "You know what I mean."

"Like normal, no I have no idea."

"Jason, you don't fuck your best friend's ex, you don't fuck your ex's best friend."

"Everyone's an adult Brenda, I hardly think that Robin-"

She rolled her eyes.

"You're worried about Sonny finding out."

"I'm not-" she rolled her eyes again as Jason began to roll hims, "I'm over him Jason."

"For how long?"

"Don't Jason, just because I don't want to hurt him because of one drunken night, doesn't mean I still have dreams of being Mrs. Corinthos." She shook her head at him and turned towards the living room, "This is why we can't have real conversations."

Their conversations had always seemed plenty real to him, he followed after her.

"You know normal people can actually have a conversation without it ending in a fight," she said spinning on her heel.

"I wasn't fighting, you're the one who stormed out of the room."

"Walking into the living room is hardly storming," she shot back.

"Fine Brenda, you're right, I'm wrong, like always. Better?"

She glared.

"I don't even know why we're fighting, we agreed it was a one time thing."

"Exactly, a fluke."

That word was really starting to annoy him. "Not Sonny?" The response came out of his mouth without warning.

She sighed loudly in annoyance, "So proof, so we can put this to bed-" she frowned at her word choice, "settle this once and for all." She braced her shoulders back, "Kiss me."

"Kiss you?"

"We've kissed before and that never happened, we need to kiss again sober and prove that's still the case."

"And then-" he nodded his head.

"We don't get drunk together alone," she nodded her head succinctly. "So come on already."

"Why do I have to kiss you?"

"What are you afraid of Jason?"

The challenge had been set and he knew them too well to think it could be ignored, so he put that thought out of his head and within 2 steps he was before her and had an arm around her tugging her in and up. He knew now what he was afraid of though. As their bodies melted together, as their hands grasped on instead of pushing away. Minutes didn't even pass before they were tugging at tee shirts.

"Leftover fluke," she nodded at him.

He nodded back as they stripped their shirts in unison; patience was not to be had after 2 days without, they came together again. He was backing her towards the couch when she froze, "Wait. Not the couch."

Eyebrows lifted.

"We eat there," she quickly defended.

He let out an unexpected burst of laughter and pulled her in closer. "No couch," he promised as he tugged her up into his arms, she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"This is a total fluke," she smirked down at him, like the cat that got the cream, "it would be wrong if we didn't see it through."

Agreeing with Brenda seemed like a sign of the apocalypse, but he did. There was no way, it could possibly last.

-x-x-Couple months in the future-x-x-

"She's moving in with him," Carly exclaimed walking into Sonny's living room.

He automatically powered down his laptop and turned to her, wondering what she was talking about, "Who-"

He couldn't even fully express the thought before she launched into her explanation, "Brenda."

"Is moving in with Jax?" he inwardly sighed, this would turn out poorly, Carly didn't do jealous well, he tried to ignore that twinge as well, remembering their breakup.

_"I want you to be happy," he whispered, he had seen the signs that they were ending, he had seen them for weeks or perhaps their entire time together, he had just been so hopeful in them, he had never wanted anything as badly as them to work out. _

_"I want you to be happy too," she was sitting on the arm of his couch, he didn't bother telling her that she was structurally weakening it, he had money, he didn't mind having to replace it, especially not for her._

_He wanted to tell her, he still was, he wanted to remind her of all the ways they still fit, only he kept being reminded of all the ways they no longer did, how he could no longer give her the life he wanted for her._

_Tears glistened in her eyes, "We were so perfect."_

_Had they been? His heart told him the same thing, but his brain told him otherwise. _

_"So right," brown eyes soulfully begged for forgiveness for what she was telling him._

_"I know," he whispered again._

_"I compared everyone to you, that feeling when you touch me, when you look at me, I could never find it again."_

_"Maybe," his voice failed him, he began again, "maybe, it shouldn't feel like that. Maybe that it can't last, it isn't-" His eyes briefly closed, "as amazing as it felt-" He shook his head, he couldn't say the words._

_"I'm always going to love you. You were the first person that ever really loved me; I didn't think anyone could until you."_

"No that I could handle, Jax has at least routinely proven he doesn't have an ounce of common sense when it comes to Brenda. Jason."

"Why the hell would Jason ever agree to live with Brenda again?" The words shot out of his mouth before he could even process the thought.

"The claim," she used air quotes, "is that Robin needs to shack up with her baby daddy, so Brenda is moving out."

"But Brenda owns the house."

"Yea that's what I said," Carly lifted a finger, proving her point that she wasn't crazy, that there was definitely no logical reason for what was occurring.

"Who told you this?" Sonny questioned, knowing Carly she had gotten her facts wrong while eavesdropping.

"My mother and then Jason. He swears that she's moving into her old room, he's lying to me."

"Jason wouldn't-"

"There are plenty of ways to make that not a lie in his eyes, and then he hung up on me."

He was pretty sure that was an exaggeration, more like Jason had listened to five minutes of a Carly tirade before finally finding a way off the phone.

"They're screwing, mark my words, they are sleeping together and she will destroy him, just like she destroyed every other male that she's touched." She ended with her pointer extended before retracting it, she hated always being right. "Now I'm going to go find the boys and take them out for ice cream because I seriously need it."

-x-x-x-x-

Max announced Brenda at the door less than thirty minutes after Carly left as he was still contemplating his actions, calling either of them only seemed desperate. Sorrow evident on her face, he wondered if their emotions were still tied together as they had once been. He remembered their connection, remembered feeling the spark of it with each of their returns, only it had faded faster each time.

He heard Max stutter, and quickly excuse himself, but he kept staring at her. Seeing her, but not feeling their connection. She looked like herself, only she was distant, no longer his. Their eyes remained locked though, lost staring at the person that had once been theirs entirely. There had been no separation where the two began, they could feel each other across town; it had saved his life. Only now…

The hurt slowly snaked around his heart, the pain suddenly fresh that they had fallen out of love, paired with the agony that she had fallen out of love with him and in with another. "Just say it Brenda," he forced out.

She flinched with her eyes still closed she began, "Never while we." Her eyes opened, "I would never-" An absurd smile as she half laughed and shrugged, "It's Jason." As if that one word explained it all and for years it had. Brenda and Jason were oil and water. They could never be, only now there were.

She continued to look puzzled by that. The shock was starting to fade from his system, and all of the clues that filled that puzzle started to fill in the blank spots.

Love wasn't a want, but a need. Love didn't make sense, it didn't follow any rules. The person that you're tethered to for absolutely no reason. He knew that because of her because she had once been his drug.

Jason and Brenda hated each other. They both always made that claim, Jason would have once made the argument that he was looking out for her people he loved, loved her, he had been taking care of her for Sonny. That hadn't stopped him from discarding people before and there hadn't been anything to protect Brenda from in quite some time.

Brenda could have avoided Jason, if she truly couldn't stand him. She could have asked Edward and Lila to put her away when she got sick. Edward would have been a better detractor at keeping himself and Jax away anyway.

They had annoyed each other to no end, yet they never stayed away.

Love wasn't a want, but a need. He wondered when it had happened. He wondered if it was stronger than theirs. A love that grew slowly, they said those were the ones that lasted. A slow burn, instead of quick flame.

He wondered if he would even recognize her in few years, would he still see his love or was Jason's love banishing her entirely.

"I want to say something supportive," he answered honestly. His mind still had a semblance of rational thought. It knew Jason was a good father, it knew that Jason would always try to be what she needed, he knew that Jason would never try to change her as so many had. His heart wanted to scream though. Scream at how unfair the world was, it remembered their love, remembered that it had been great. It played through his mind like a slideshow. Clips of memories that had happened to someone else.

"You don't need to."

"I should." He stared at her torn between wanting to fight to see that young girl he had loved so desperately and wanting her banished from his memory. "I don't know if Jason can give you everything-" he paused. "Everything I wanted for you, but I know he'll try."

She shook her head, "We're not like that."

He stared at her some more, he remembered their talks, remembered his desperate attempt to fill in the years he had lost in her life. She had spent her years avoiding serious relationships. She had been quick to discard others when they hadn't lived up to _them_. He on the other hand dove into serious relationships and tried to force them into being what _they _once had been. He didn't know what that meant, what that said about them, he just knew how it was. "Jason is," he spoke the simple words, the truth about Jason, the truth about her future with Jason.

He saw it flash through her eyes, she knew it too. Then suddenly her eyes held fear as she whispered, "I know."

She loved him. He knew it now. His Brenda was gone. She was Jason's Brenda now. Scared of loving him, of losing him…Damaged by her father to the point where she could never trust love to last.

"Don't do anything spiteful."

She suddenly regarded him with a frown.

"Jason's a-" the words got stuck, but he owed her this, "good guy. He'll put up with pretty much anything as long as you don't set out to hurt someone."

"We'll see," she smiled for his sake, "okay this is just weird now. I should get going. I'll see you later."

* * *

**Future ficlet?**

Anon Y Mous also had a really good prompt of treating their prom date as an actual date, only I don't remember their prom, I remember Robin on the pier with a musician and Brenda shooting Jason down when he tried to kiss her (they were outside). So if anyone remembers anything more than that and wants to see that prompt written….Or if no one remembers and I can just be like the GH writers and redo all of the history…. :-P My questions for it are simple: Brenda's dress, Jason's tux and if it was possible for AJ to be at the house to see his little brother off?


	24. Many Returns

**Love Madly. Short fics of returns. **

**VMG on Brazen and yes I did cheer when I heard this, "Jason annoys her in a way that someone you love madly annoys you….She adores Jason." Haha and then SB saying that they don't like each other. So very school yard. **

Okay so this is one massive post of all of the random Brenda returns that are more than one line and have been sitting in My Documents. There most likely won't be more to them than this, but they had to be posted prior to her return or they never will be and that would bum me out.

* * *

**Vignette #1**

_This title is being reused the moment GH gives me a story line to launch it from. No dialogue just feelings and thoughts._

* * *

**Love Madly**

Life is a series of regrets.

Coulda, woulda, shouldas.

Some people take the safe paths, some people take giant risky leaps.

She always thought she had been the girl who leapt.

Is it a leap though when you know how it's going to end? Going after the bad boy…You know the outcome of that 99% of the time.

No matter how much it hurts, you aren't really that surprised when it ends.

The boy that's good. The boy that's safe. The boy you could pin all of your hopes and dreams on…

He's the risk.

He's the one that would leave you shattered, especially if you shattered him.

You ignore safe because safe is scary. You ignore how happy you are sitting next to him. You ignore how he would do anything for you. How he forgives you time and time again. How he tries to convince you to forgive yourself.

You ignore safe and the risk passes, he finds someone worthy, someone better and you can feel good about yourself for letting that happen. You're happy to see them, you're happy to see him happy.

You're safe if he's with another, he won't leave you, you can't destroy what you have.

Then he leaves, he's lost to you, but torments you by still existing. HE left you after everything you did to stay safe, and then he won't let you heal in peace. His presence is an open wound and you hate him for leaving you and reminding you of it constantly.

You hate him and then you leave him. He floats into your mind with every high school and college boy you see, their laughter, easy manner, their seriousness when studying a piece of art. He continues to torment you with the memories of what could have been. He torments you with memories of who he had been.

The regrets happen. You begin to wonder the what ifs. You see the ways you could have saved him. You see him clearly for the first time. You recognize that feeling, but he is gone and you realize you hate him for it.

You actively hate him for not being HIM when you return. You want to and sometimes do pound your fists into his chest in unbridled anger and despair. How could HE leave?

You hate him, you keep telling yourself that. You ignore the rest. The anger is anger. You hate him because he isn't HIM. You hate him for existing while HE is gone.

You can love the one most like him, he's nowhere near as good, but you won't make that mistake again.

You try to burn him out of your mind. You try to find the feelings you once had elsewhere.

Then the panic sets in over leaving him. The realization that those feelings had been more that what ifs, they had been love.

Underneath it all and ignored had been love.

The realization makes her want to vomit.

The realization gets stuck in her head and it replays over and over. She's determined to burn it out of her mind.

Then one day, she realizes he's still him. Everything he was, everything he could be, everything he deserved. He is him.

She tells herself that's a lie, that he is gone, but it's too late. She loves him madly with the same desperation that had been hiding underneath a decade prior.

She leaves him with someone good. She stays away. She ignores that love as she ignores him. He is gone, she tells herself. He is a memory.

She is safe.

Then one day she is in his arms again. She wrenches herself free as soon as she can. He thinks he's protecting her, he doesn't realize she needs protection from him.

She hates him for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she loves.

* * *

**Vignette #2**

Okay so I have 3 working theories in my mind for where AJ is. This fic goes with the third. :-P Um did I mention I loved the Q brothers? My world would be perfect if AJ and Brenda returned together (however, not together because Liz, Alexis and Sam are ewwy in my book for doing that).

1) With Helena

2) In hiding in Europe. Living the kind of life Jason wanted for him.

3) In the WSB because he ditched Lydia and she got pissed, she hired some thugs to take him out, but instead they dumped him a labor camp/jail thing in S. America. He got the last laugh when she found out his money had been moved. A surgically altered man is a desperate attempt at getting cash out of the Qs and destroying everyone's opinion of him in case he's still around. When Frisco Jones gets dumped in the jail wounded AJ takes care of him and gets himself shot when they're breaking out/being rescued. The camp, taking care of Frisco and his injury are all penance. Frisco becomes a stand in brother and along with the WSB AJ can finally start making some amends in his life. Jason knows about AJ either he told Brenda or Brenda told him. AJ and Brenda are caught up in the life of the rich abroad, Brenda has slowly been self-destructing Alan dead because of Lorenzo, Emily, Georgie, etc dead because of Diego, the Alcazar family that she brought to town. AJ picked up a potentially lethal and reoccurring virus at the labor camp, which totally rears its ugly head when his immune system is compromised.

* * *

**Chaos**

_Loyalty and love exist in a place in which all remains untouched if it is true. Once it is formed it will exist forever, it is that nagging in your gut when you go against it. They can appear to fade over time; you can become used to the sensation, but if it is true, beneath the layers of time it remains and will so until the day you cease._

_He had a brother once. Kind and strong, only his strength was a weakness, his love his Achilles' that felled him in one awful moment. After he tried to hate him, he thought he succeeded, but can you ever hate the person someone's become, when you still love the person they were? Can one individual truly be separated by one moment in time? Or are there constantly reminders of who they were? If there are reminders, does that mean that person still exists within their new persona? If so, how can you hate them, when part of whom you loved still exists within them?_

He struggled for breath, freezing as his body raged with fever. One woman chattered reassurances and the other sat lost in her own mind. She was the reason for his return he told himself, but even he knew that was a lie. She was a convenient reason so he wouldn't have to admit the truth. He wanted to go home; he needed to go home. Home called to him constantly, the virus coursing through his body symbolic of his ache for it. He was literally dying to go home. He felt like Superman without the sun, long months in the hospital had only solidified what he had realized after long days in a cell. It was time to go home.

One look at her and he knew she was dying without it as well. They could reason it had been for the good of others or themselves or they could admit the truth, it had been easiest. Only now their bodies turned on their cowardice. Two diseases, a virus and addiction both stemming from their absence from home.

Their weary bodies were home now, home to be equally battered and healed. Home to be wrapped in warm soothing arms, he no longer cared how short the respite, what he would have to pay for it, even his life, he knew now his life couldn't exist without it.

He was too sick to go anywhere, but the hospital. They had warned him against stress when he left the hospital and considering he managed to get flipped off a balcony and break his leg within 2 hours of his discharge, he wasn't surprised he felt closer to death's door than he had in weeks.

He stared at the automatic doors, they looked new, but despite searching his memory, he could find no memory of what they once looked like. He often realized things, such as that. Memories slipping from his grasp as time soldiered on.

He turned to his backseat companion. She was slower than their driver, her face filled with panic and he once more felt the need to comfort her. "Come on, won't be that bad."

She snorted.

He winced as he chuckled; his ribs had fortunately only been bruised in the fall.

"Sorry," sorrow filled her face now.

"It's fine, I was already a gimp," he smirked.

"It was time wasn't it?" she whispered.

"Yea," _home was the only option left for them._

"I used to see the future here."

_Odd. _"What do you see now?"

"The end, this is it."

He nodded.

The bang on his window turned him away from her, Felicia animatedly gesturing for him to lean away from the door.

"Yea, he's going to need some help out," she informed the orderly. "Brenda, you okay sweetie?" she questioned over him.

"Fine," she shook her head, "I'm coming."

"Where are you hurt?" the large orderly asked him.

He laughed and once more flinched in pain.

"Where isn't he is the better question?" Felicia remarked, "Most of him is pretty durable, the hospital in Prague fixed him up pretty well…Again."

"I can get out on my own," he huffed.

"Just shut up and lean on me," Brenda ordered pushing her way past the orderly.

He did exactly as he'd been doing all day, he put an arm around her as she put one around him and he let her take the brunt of him frame against her small body.

They were home. For better or worse they were home.

* * *

**Vignette #3**

_She structured, she organized, she planned and then one day it all fell apart._

* * *

_The Path to…_

(Submission)

You screw up in life.

It was probably the only guarantee you got.

You. Screw. Up.

From the small things like forgetting to pick up toilet paper when you're down to the last roll to bigger things…The kind of things that destroy everything you've worked so hard to build.

A casual mistake, a moment of not thinking, the words you forgot to say…

She had trashed her life more times than she could count.

She had acted out instead of comply and impress as a child, sabotaged herself more than the father she wanted to see her.

She wrecked relationships without caring, or worse reveling in the pain they'd cause others as a teen.

She ignored the sensible route, the safe route early in love, condemned herself to a life of danger. Then worse, she lost it forever.

She used a friend that didn't deserve 'sensible and safe' then she hurt him more times than she could count.

Every time, with every defeat she lifted herself back up, rebuilt her life just to watch it crumble around her again.

She wised up finally in her thirties. Removed herself from the temptation of acting without thought. Lived her life wisely, carefully. Decisions were calculated, words carefully chosen. She did not just live life, she planned it.

For six years and fou months, because she had allowed herself several weeks to wallow in her misery, she had lived her life exactly as she planned it.

She allowed herself a rushed visit home on only a handful of occasions, never daring to risk staying overnight, never daring to allow herself to see anyone that wasn't at the Quartermaines'.

She worked, all projects chosen with what they could do for her. She socialized, with a select group of responsible and mature friends. She allowed herself to fall in love again, after enough time and reference checks from friends regarding him. She got an assistant to pick up the toilet paper.

She had structured her life into perfection.

She was healthy. She had a strong career. An exceptional bank account and group of investments, all of which she closely monitored. She had a good life. She dare even occasionally allowed herself to gently plot out more of a future. To imagine filling the small villa she owned just of Rome with a child or two. She planned what further additions she'd need aside from the large master bath she had added on two years ago.

She had taken control of her life. She held on firmly to it, never allowing anything to dissuade her from her goals. From picking herself up and brushing herself off and charging ahead. She had lost far too much time living life on instinct and hoping for the best.

She awoke on the 11th with a kiss, which was shortly followed by a promise to get out of the city in a few hours and a laugh as he grunted lifting her suitcase, but that was quickly rewarded with a kiss and another smile. She may not be able to perfectly pack, but she was always perfectly dressed, life was all about compromise and he didn't seem to mind.

She ran her errands, the kind she now ran in a timely fashion. Then loaded herself, a cup of coffee and a bag of snacks into the car.

She wasn't aware her organized life had fallen apart as she opened the front door and called out a greeting. The blood stains on the carpet as she walked towards the living room began to tell the story. As she opened the door to find him slain on the floor with '_You're Mine '_written in his blood on the mirror, did she give him.

* * *

**Vignette #4**

_I am a firm believer of Brenda having kids. I am a firm believer of Jason having kids. Guessing you guys figured that out by now. _

_I am a firm believer that Ted King is beautiful and fantastic (Loving, The City and Charmed-I am a firm believer that I have been watching soaps for too long :-P ), LA and BB have several back stories in my mind. He's hot, amazing and addictive, I would give up everything for him, so I can see Brenda doing that. _

_He's tragic, flawed, confident and obsessed. He got the easy way out by dying; she has to deal with years of lies. _

* * *

_The Path to_

(Tumbling Down)

It begins with one. Always one. One lie. One decision. One insignificant thing that just builds…and builds. Soon you realize you're living in a house of cards, you live in fear of the next breath, fear what will bring your life down upon you.

It began with a nightmare…No it began with a pair of blue eyes. Warm arms and blue eyes. It began that way a few times.

Jax had been safety, Luis had been life. She spent years trying to be more, but in Luis' arms she didn't have to be anything more than she was. Anything more than a lifetime of being ignored and belittled's creation. Demanding, needy, a bitch, a snob, she was what her whims decided and most of the time that made her happy. Happy except for those she missed. Happy except for the fact that she never had to grow, so therefore she didn't.

More nightmares stemming from that first. Waking up frantic in the middle of the night. Warm arms found her again, another set of warm arms and blue eyes found her. She forgot she couldn't stand their owner when it was that late, when she was that exhausted. They had woken up in precarious situations before when he had managed to fall asleep with her. It was always awkward and they always ignored it. Then one day they woke up a little too late, their minds stayed slumbering, distanced by a fog, while their bodies found each other. It had only happened a couple times, the act only found its completion once. They ignored it, embarrassed and horrified they ignored it. After all they were both in love with others, their minds at least, sadly no one thought to inform their bodies.

She left so they could both find their happiness.

She saw Robin and successfully avoided her sister, then found her way to Rome. Found her way into one of the many apartments she had shared with Luis.

Their photos, the antique and modern trinkets she found around town, the cashmere and silk hand knotted rug they used to make love on during indoor picnics. She trashed the entire apartment in ten minutes flat. Destroying every ounce of them in it. He had made them into a lie. He hadn't believed she would have stayed with him, when she had always been staying for him.

She had no concept of time. No concept of how long she sobbed after. No concept of how long she sat collapsed against the wall. Eventually one of his assistants walked in. She never had any idea what they did, nor did she care. He had told her the truth from the start and she had always sworn that was enough for her. It had never been true, but she always tried to make it be.

"He always said you would return," the young Italian man told her without much feeling.

She wondered if he was right because she felt empty without him.

"You will have use of the apartment and a yearly stipend," he informed her.

"I don't want it-" hate dripped from her voice as he tried to buy her off from beyond the grave.

"It is not for you," she was once again informed. "Entrare."

In walked a middle aged woman, dressed in all black, holding a pink swaddled bundle.

"Mr. Alcazar was not the type to leave anything to chance," he nodded to the side at the newborn.

She stared blankly at the baby, too bundled for her to see.

"The apartment and income is yours until she is 25. I suggest you invest wisely."

"What would you have done if I hadn't come?" she questioned him.

"If you had not left Port Charles, you would have never seen her Mr. Alcazar was very clear that she not be surrendered to you there."

"Why didn't you contact me?" her lips were dry, her mouth was dry…

"She is only two days old; we had her released from the hospital when you were spotted. Curious, Mr. Alcazar always said you a psychic ability when it came to those you loved."

She, that small bundle, had been the nagging feeling that had brought Brenda to Rome.

"Are you going to take your daughter Ms. Barrett?"

She stood quickly as if the small bundle would disappear. She froze as she went to retrieve her daughter from the nanny's embrace, froze as she saw the dark hair and blue eyes. Then hastily snatched the newborn from anymore of her father's influence.

"Brenna Delilah Alcazar, Mr. Alcazar was well prepared for his untimely demise. Would you like Nencia to stay?" He nodded at the nanny.

"No," Brenda was quick to shake her head.

"I took the liberty of arranging some basic items for the baby; I assumed you would prefer selecting her nursery and layette yourself. If there is anything else you-"

"Go," she finally gathered her wits enough to speak.

"I'll have her things brought in and leave my information should you need contact me," he nodded at her.

She sat with the little girl resting on her thighs as she undressed her examining every aspect of the child that was her daughter.

_"Lila," she was quick to answer him. _

_"No creativity, you want her to be an exact clone of Lila Quartermaine?" Luis questioned his beloved as they reclined in the massive bed. _

_"Considering anything that sounds like Lily is out," she nodded._

_"What about Delilah?" he smirked as he read from his laptop. _

_"What?" she asked looking over from her magazine._

_"Seductive, temptress," he smirked at her, "we could name her after Mommy too." _

_"Samson and Delilah?" Brenda half rolled her eyes, refusing to fully play into him._

_"She was always his weakness," he said moving the laptop to the nightstand. He turned on his side to her, "You're my weakness, you're my entire world," one hand skimmed along her body, her magazine forgotten with its first touch. _

Her fingers traced along her dark hair, the small patches of dry skin, her perfect little cupid lips…

_"Brenna," he announced as she walked onto the patio._

_"There's a d in there," she continued walking._

_"Brenna, little drop of water, raven, black haired," he explained from his spot on the lounge chair._

_"Brenna, incredibly vain mother who names her child after herself," she still didn't know if this was a game or not. She didn't know if she was strong enough to create a child she wouldn't get to raise._

_"Brenna," Luis said standing, "father who is incredibly obsessed with her mother and can't think of anything better in the world than her." His hand slid around her waist. _

_If she came outside for anything aside from him, she didn't remember._

She ignored that within her daughter's name was the word lie, he was gone, all that was left of him was one perfect creation, his and hers, only to be hers. "Just you and me Della, but we're going to be fine. You're too perfect to screw up."

-x-X-x-

"Come home," Jason ordered.

The baby screamed as Brenda bounced with her, "Jason, I told you I can do this."

"I never said you couldn't I just don't understand why you'd want to."

"Oh you're one to talk," she scoffed.

"I was hardly alone Brenda."

"I'm not alone, I have Della."

"Brenda come home, just for now. Just until you get used-"

"I can't get used to being a parent, unless I actually parent her," she snapped.

"You're her mother Brenda no one is going to-"

"Jason, you'd give Mother Theresa a run for her money, the self sacrifice-"

"Brenda offering to help is hardly-"

"Courtney, Jason," she reminded him. "Live your own life, try to make yourself happy for once and stop worrying about the rest of us."

-x-X-x-

"I'm pregnant," she told him.

He hesitated for a moment, "I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

"I'm haven't been. I'm four months. I can't tell Jax."

"Brenda it's his child you-"

"Have to tell him so he can take over? Like he did the annulment, the wedding? He pretty much threw me to the curb Jason."

"I won't let him take over," he promised.

"Stop with the self sacrificing, I told you because you're my friend, not because I needed you to solve all of my problems."

"Brenda, you can't possibly raise-"

"My children on my own," she said with her voice suddenly firm for the first time since the doctor had told her. She had thought she was an out of shape, anemic, sleep deprived mother of a colicy baby. Instead she was a pregnant, out of shape, slightly anemic and very sleep deprived mother of a baby with colic.

-x-X-x-

She looked at her son, she knew the moment she saw him. She knew he was Jason's. Her cell was next to her, Jason its last dialed number. It hadn't been as hard as she expected to it to be to lie to him, to perpetuate what they both had expected. Jason didn't need any more responsibilities, he needed to heal what he had with Courtney, he needed to help her heal from her miscarriage. She would never be able to do that with Theo around.

Theo was a gift. Her perfect little surprise.

"Ms. Barrett?" the nanny asked as she walked in holding Delilah.

Her little girl immediately tried launching herself away from the nanny and towards her mother, chanting "Ma ma ma."

"Come here Ellie," Brenda smiled at her daughter. "Thanks," she nodded as the nanny placed her on the bed.

"I'll be just outside if you need me," she informed her employer.

"Do you like your little brother Ellie?" she questioned with a smile as her little girl stared in confusion at the being now resting on Brenda's lap.

A hand automatically went out to tap him as she tried to figure the new creature out.

Theo's eyes opened at the same moment Brenda said, "Ellie." Her little girl turned up to her. Two sets of blue eyes stared up perfectly at her.

"This is all we need," she promised them.

Warm bodies and blue eyes. They were her salvation.

* * *

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Fingers crossed we're going to have a good run this time around, even better than last time.

The YouTube clip that will give us all hope is titled "General Hospital Brenda Marathon Episode 3 Part 3" and its poster is GeneralHospital678.


	25. A Picture's Worth

**So this little collection has a LOT of Brenda/Jason Q emotions. KellyVanessaFan has a GREAT Youtube vid called "Hurt." So just cut and paste KellyVanessaFan Hurt into your youtube browser, if you weren't around waaaay back then or hell it's just been a really long time, you'll thank me for this vid (through the tears). You can see the images and feelings that go through Brenda's mind. **

Ah one shots, how you break up the monotony of the same old stories.

Salena rocks. The Brazen screen caps she sent totally inspired this one shot (which makes me extra happy because it means I got to include this Brenda/Spinelli meet, which I've had in my head awhile). :-D

**Thanks for reading, as always I'm sorry if it sucks. :-P**

* * *

_A Picture's Worth…_

Harbor View Towers:

"You know what Jason," her voice full of antagonism, ready to give back as good as she was getting, "don't start. This wasn't my idea. Actually it was a hell of a lot more your idea; I was perfectly fine staying in Rome."

"You could have stayed in Rome," he said struggling with her numerous suitcases, there were two of them carrying them and they were still having issues, "if you could learn how to stay out of trouble."

"Seriously, I'm being blamed for this?"

"Can you just get the door?" he snapped.

She fumed, but opened the penthouse door because he had at least been decent enough to only force one bag onto her.

"You can just drop them here," he nodded at the guard, "she'll carry them up the rest of the way."

"You-" the guard was about to question that, then he realized he was about to be caught in their cross fire and escape seemed a wiser decision.

She glared at him for a moment, "You know I had a shrink once that tried to convince me that I didn't really hate you," she shook her head, "she was wrong," she turned. "I'm going to go shower."

"Can you make sure you put on clothing afterward, other people live here."

"Jackass," she muttered under her breath as she started up the stairs.

-o-o-o-

Jason survived Spinelli's greetings, apologies for his lateness and inquiries into the trip before he got Spinelli back on point with trying to track down those after her and calmly seated at the desk.

He was pacing while on the phone, and it all seemed to play out in slow motion before him.

"So you're Port Charles' boy wonder," Brenda said coming down the stairs, having obviously ignored Jason's clothing rule as she wore boy shorts and a cami.

Spinelli tuned and shot out of his seat.

"Sonny said you had a cool nickname, _Coyote?_"

"The…uh…The Jackal," he nodded his head vigorously and seemed frozen in his spot.

She smiled, "Like the Bruce Willis movie, all sneaky and stealthy."

"Uh," Spinelli nodded some more.

"Awesome," she smiled, "I'm Brenda," she put her hand out.

"Dami-" his eyes were torn between looking at her and looking at everywhere that she wasn't, except the floor. He took two steps forwards and the bags he had remembered were there a minute ago were forgotten and he tripped over one, tried to stop his fall, got his foot caught in between two more bags, he went sideways this time and didn't stop until his head came in contact with the floor after clipping the end table.

-o-o-o-

GH:

"Oh no, don't even try it. You didn't want to help me carry up my bags. You left them there to punish me and now you're mad that Damian got hurt instead of me."

_'Do not fret Dear Princess. My head is harder than it looks.'_

_'Are you sure Spinelli?'_

_'You can call me Damian,' he promised the princess panicking over him._

_'You better have a concussion,' Jason said heaving Spinelli to his feet. _

"Brenda if you just put away your bags like a normal person," he countered.

"You're going to make me apologize for wanting to take a shower after a twelve hour flight? Are you serious?"

"Exactly it was a twelve hour flight; you couldn't take five more minutes and brought your bags upstairs."

"Five minutes? Have you lifted my bags?"

"I never thought I'd be so happy to hear you two fighting," Robin's voice broke as she meant to be lighthearted. There they were, a throwback to when shockingly enough her life was simpler.

_'I didn't know how to,' Brenda responded to Robin's wondering of how they lost touch. How phone numbers and emails had been changed without the other being informed._

_Robin frowned and stared at the woman who had been her closest friend for years, the joy left her friend's voice and it was filled with emptiness and sorrow._

_'I brought the Alcazars to town.'_

_'I never blamed you, Brenda.' She leaned forward and took her friend's hands. 'Did you think that I blamed you for Diego?'_

_Brenda shook her head, 'I didn't need you to blame me Robin. I know if it wasn't for me. Diego and Luis would have never been in Port Charles. Georgie, Emily, Alan,' she shook her head again. 'I do these stupid things and-'_

_'No,' Robin shook her head again. 'I already lost Georgie and Emily because of Diego, I can't lose you too. Not when I just found you again.'_

"Robin," Brenda smiled and launched herself at her.

"I don't care why you're here," she suddenly cried as her best friend pulled her into a tight embrace, "but I've never been happier to see you."

"What's wrong?" Brenda held her tighter.

"Robin?" Jason asked walking up to them.

"My life is completely falling apart and I don't know what to do," she cried into Brenda's neck.

"Oh honey," Brenda's face fell completely, "I'm sorry. I'm here. We'll figure it out."

-o-o-o-

"Hey how are you-" her smile fell and it was replaced with disgust, "you," she said seeing Patrick with Spinelli.

"Brenda don't," Jason launched a hand onto her arm.

She continued to glare forward.

"Brenda," Patrick nodded, "I-"

"You're disgusting. How is he?"

"He's fine just going to have a hell of a bruise and a headache.'

"He can leave?" Jason asked worried what else would emerge from Brenda's mouth if they remained.

"Yea just finished the paperwork."

"Let's go," Jason ordered Spinelli.

Patrick hesitated for a moment as Spinelli walked away, "Look wait, I know-"

"Don't," Jason ordered.

"No, I think we should hear him explain how he could do this to Robin-"

"I didn't-" he began trying to defend himself.

As Jason started to walk forward Patrick stopped. Jason spoke softly, "She's already been arrested for murder twice. She might actually do it the third time."

-o-o-o-

Penthouse:

"That is-" Spinelli's eyes were wide as he sat on her bed as she unpacked. A gold frame containing a picture of Brenda and his mentor, their faces slathered in a green mask, Jason's hair held up with several hair ties, giving the illusion of a crown, laughing as their faces cracked.

"Original," she stopped him.

"Quartermaine?" Spinelli stopped and stared at the other man as best he could. Jason looked like that didn't he? He smiled like that, not often, but every once in awhile…

"The one and only."

"You keep a picture of Jason Quartermaine in your bedroom."

"Actually it used to be in my walk in closet," she frowned looking around the room and missing her apartment. "Shrink thought it was a good idea."

Spinelli continued to look puzzled.

"Em sent me a batch of pictures when she moved home. Mentioned them to the shrink, next thing I know she's having me write a eulogy for that Jason and apologizing to this Jason."

"Apologizing?"

"Apparently I was taking out my anger at that Jason for getting into the car at this Jason. Can't be angry at him for who he isn't. Only who he is. Which actually when I thought about it longer, I can do with no problem."

"Did it work?"

"Hmm?" she looked up from the clothing she was unpacking.

"The eulogy?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. I ended up getting drunk one night and throwing it across the room." She shook her head and closed her eyes," Look at the back of the picture."

Spinelli carefully undid the back. _He was that amazing. He deserves to be remembered._

"Emily," Brenda supplied, "after her first run in with cancer."

His fingers traced the words.

"So I cried and I screamed at him and everything we didn't do when it happened and then-" she shrugged.

"And then-" Spinelli prompted.

"I started to think about who I was and what I was doing and if there was a point to any of it," she shook her head.

"Hence ASEC," Spinelli finished.

She nodded, "I don't do good person. I pretty much suck at it. I need the reminder to at least try. Trying to be more seemed like the best way to remember him."

"I think he would be proud of you, Brenda Sparks."

"Sparks? That's my thing?"

"Jenny Sparks," Spinelli smiled at her, "never ages, controls moods, loud mouthed, not at all shy, aggressive, sexy, electrical. Completely atypical heroine."

She smiled at him. "You're kind of amazing yourself Damian."

-o-o-o-

Alleyway (months later):

Brenda beat against Jason's back as he carried her, his hand somehow managing to keep her mouth covered.

"You'll be quiet?" he asked once he was sure they were far enough away.

She grunted out a yes.

"We were together Brenda," he ordered her as he put her down.

"What about Robin?" _Lisa's body…So still…_

"Robin hasn't threatened to murder Lisa, you have. Now tell me, where were you?"

"With you," she nodded.

"I need to make some calls, get us an alibi away from here."

-o-o-o-

Penthouse:

"A motel?" Brenda screeched, Jason flinched while Spinelli rubbed his ears not the first time since they returned to the penthouse.

"Br-"

"You want them to think we're having an affair?"

"There were cameras where our cars were parked. Spinelli's right, the best way to look like we didn't do this, was to look like we were doing something wrong and trying to hide it."

"Sam will-" she began.

"Sam understands," Jason stopped her. "If it keeps us out of prison." _Lisa had made a few not too veiled threats about Robin's ex and the potential threat she faced because of him, adding Brenda and their lack of alibis to the mix...  
_

"How is this happening again?" she declared in shocked misery.

-o-o-o-

A few weeks later, Sam's place:

"What's going on between Brenda and Jason," Sam asked the moment Spinelli came through her front door.

"What nothing, did you hear something?"

"No," she sighed loudly and rubbed her face, "I saw that this morning," she flung her finger accusingly at the paper.

_Brenda turned into Jason as they left the police station. Jason doing his best to block her f_rom the reporters,

"I keep seeing them everywhere together," _her paper, the tv, news reports calling them Bonnie and Clyde._

"Trust me Stone Cold would not be doing this unless it was absolutely necessary. All they've been doing is fighting upon their return."

"I think she's falling in love with him," Sam said collapsing onto the couch.

"Sparky and Stone Cold?"

Sam didn't even smile at one of Brenda's numerous nicknames, _Brenda Sparks, Spirit, Sparky, Sparkles and BS. _

"He's her protector," she stared blankly down at the paper, "he's saving her and she starting to look at him…Like he's everything."

Spinelli automatically laughed, "Fair Samantha, the Jackal would not have placed upon her the nickname of BS were it not well deserved. Protector or not she cannot wait to be free from Stone Cold."

"I hope you're right Spinelli."

-o-o-o-

Spinelli's room (a few days later):

"Oh my god what are you doing?" Lulu asked as her eyes nearly came out of the socket as she walked into Spinelli's new room to discover Brenda's photo albums torn apart.

"The Jackal has uncovered something," he said shifting a few photos around.

"The fastest way to a painful death?" she asked still in shock as she took a few steps further into the room.

"No," he shook his head, "see at first it as just curiosity. Though Fair Samantha's concerns lingered in my mind, I truly did not give them much credence. Princess and Stone Cold seemed to share a more antagonistic relationship like siblings."

"You don't think they do anymore?"

"Come," he ordered with a hand wave over.

"Oh god I cannot believe you took out all of her photos," she finally said the words aloud as she saw them up close on the bed.

"Not all," he corrected, "Nor did the Jackal did not embark on this journey haphazardly, do not fear, they are in such an order that she will never be the wiser."

Lulu still planned to avoid Brenda for a very long time in the future.

"Look at these pictures," Spinelli spread out a stack across the bed.

"What am I looking at," she asked as she leaned forward. _Wow and she thought Jason was cute now._

"How can you not see this?" Spinelli got agitated and quickly scooped up a photo, Brenda wearing Jason's letterman's jacket, they were sitting together on a bench laughing.

"What am I-Oh no," she saw some of his PI books out, it was the body language one again. "Spinelli come on, you can't interpret anything based on that book."

"The genuine smile, how they're leaning into each other, the fact that she's wearing his **jacket**."

"Sp-"

"The body language while they dance," he said shifting to another one. "That looks as if she's in his bed sick," he said on the next. "These are not just friends," he informed his dear friend.

"Okay fine Spinelli, maybe Jason Quartermaine and Brenda had something going on once. I don't know. I was kid."

"That's what I thought," he nodded, "that she has transferred those feelings onto Jason. Then I started to notice something." He pulled out his laptop.

"Brenda and Jason in Rome."

_He was smiling down as she was looking up laughing as they were dancing. Jason smirking at her in another._

"Emma's birthday."

_ Laughing again. Then icing on Jason's face, then Brenda locked in Jason's arms, purple frosting covering her face._

"Thanksgiving."

_More smiling when talking. Bodies leaned in. Natural laughter and smiles._

"You're suggesting that Brenda and Jason are no longer faking it," she nodded and tried to ignore the evidence before her.

"Oh no," Spinelli shook his head, "they're still faking it." He clicked to a photo of Jason stiff with Brenda and her unnatural smile.

"So they-" she shook her head slowly.

"I think that it's growing back."

_Her head hurt. _"Huh?"

"Whatever was there before, I think it's returning."

"One, Jason and Brenda were never a couple. Two, Jason's head not possible."

"Not the head the soul," he shook his head at her, still annoyed it was taking so long for her to agree with him.

"So Brenda and Jason are soulmates?"

Even he frowned.

"You realize you sound ridiculous right? Look maybe Brenda and Jason liked it each other, they probably thought the other one was cute. They were young and flooded with hormones. And now, I mean they're still kind of hot, but soulmates Spinelli? I think we would have realized that by now. I need to get back to the office, I'm expecting a call. I'll talk to you later; you better not let Brenda catch you with this stuff."

He frowned, but followed her to the door anyway. He returned to the room to begin replacing the photos, _he didn't call her Sparky for nothing. _ He looked down at the photo in his hand, a sleepy looking Brenda pressed into Jason's side as they walked, similar to the ones he had found on the newspaper's website, taken seconds before the one that had given Sam worry.

"I think Fair Lulu that we didn't know because they didn't." He looked back down at his laptop to see Jason smiling and realized he didn't need to worry about the other man quite so much anymore.

He caught a glimpse of the clock and realized he would have to worry about himself if Princess Sparkles returned and found him with her stuff.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys!

PS-

How much longer until we have Brazen on the screen? We only have one guaranteed year, we've already wasted a month!

The air around her was electric. It was as if the current she put out was bringing everything back to life. Brazen One Shot.


	26. Drama Queen

I just saw last Friday's episode…Grrr Jason. I am going to enjoy watching her torture him. :-D

You can pair this with the last chapter if you want, but you don't need to. I stuck with Princess because of the upcoming pink scene.

The set up: This is Brenda overhearing Sam repeating, rephrasing what Jason said in that episode.

Thanks for the reviews last time folks! This is our week, we finally get them back!

_Btw Salena that was a freakin amazing review, you made me like the chapter. :-P _

* * *

**Drama Queen**

"Drama queen?" Brenda repeated the words she had just listened to Sam speak in an attempt to reassure herself. She had listened to Sam's whole tirade from the top of the stairs.

"I thought you said she was sleeping?" Sam quickly asked her boyfriend.

"She was supposed to be."

"You know me, high maintenance, dehydrated from the flight, not really a fan of tap," she finished walking down the stairs, covered by a short black robe. "By the way it was a neurodegenerative genetic disorder, which Jason knows and which my boyfriend and the doctor he paid off convinced me I had by pumping me full of drugs for years."

"Look I'm-" Sam began to apologize.

Brenda lifted a hand, "Doesn't matter. I won't be here long enough anyway."

"Br-" Jason began.

"Don't even bother Jason, we're never going to be friends, any progress we ever make to that we always lose. We've had issues with each other from the start and that's just how it's going to stay. I'll be out of your hair as soon as this guy is taken care of. No drama, no storming out. I'm just getting my water and biding my time," she nodded at them.

"Wow," Sam said with her head tilted back as her head bobbed, "I feel horrible," when Brenda quickly returned from the kitchen with her water and headed back upstairs.

"Yea," Jason agreed.

"Her boyfriend drugged her?"

"Yea," he confirmed. "He also locked her up when she found out he was going after Sonny."

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"She shot a flare gun off in the boat so she could come warn him."

"Oh god Jason, did you completely exaggerate so I wouldn't worry about you two?"

"No she really is that annoying to me."

"Yea well I don't think your life is going to be any easier now that I'm guessing she hates you."

A sigh was his answer.

-o-o-o-

He couldn't even enjoy the silence.

He didn't know how she was managing it, but she was even louder in her silence than she was screaming at him.

She sat with a variety of stuff to keep her occupied while he and Spinelli tried to hunt down who was after her, helping when she could. She only spoke to him curtly, with yes, no's and thank you's, unless she was providing information on their search. With Spinelli she had a half hour discussion while they ate lunch about butt glue.

Every single time he stopped working with Spinelli within moments Spinelli was engaged in some type of conversation with Brenda and more often than not it left the man laughing.

They talked to each other across the room when Spinelli was at the desk. When Jason had left the penthouse for awhile he retuned to find Spinelli had moved his workplace to the couch and Brenda letting out a barking laugh while Spinelli chuckled and turned pink. Jason went to Sam's for a quick dinner, he came home to find the table covered in Thai food and them still seated and randomly picking at food. They spent the rest of the night in Spinelli's room playing some video game that caused Brenda to randomly yell out, while Jason sat downstairs alone.

The next day was repeated the same until mid day when they realized there was no more research to be found and now it was time to wait. Jason left the penthouse to go bring Sonny up to date and when he returned he found his couch pushed back and Brenda and Spinelli engaged in an active game of Wii Tennis. They barely threw him a "Hi" as they continued on. He was on the phone with Sam as Brenda got so involved she jumped and her feet slid out from under her and she ended up on the floor, hysterically laughing while the short curls that had escaped from her ponytail bounced around her.

-o-o-o-

GH (elevator):

"It's been three days Brenda, I said I was sorry," it wasn't the first time he had said it, but he was hoping it would be the last.

"Like I said Jason, whatever," she shrugged , then scowled at his back as he shifted himself in front of her as the elevator opened.

"You don't think you're being a little bit childish with this whole not speaking to me thing?"

"Wow, childish now? Is that a step down from drama queen? And last time I checked Jason, this was talking."

The other people in the elevator looked worriedly ahead, hoping to get out of the elevator before the couple escalated their fight.

"You know what I mean Brenda."

"No Jason, why don't you tell me because from what I can tell I'm doing exactly what you wanted," she struggled to keep her voice from raising as they couldn't escape the elevator that was stopping on every floor and every floor pressed Jason further into her. "I haven't been bothering you, I haven't been creating any drama and I've even been fully dressed, according to your standards."

He wondered in what world leggings meant fully dressed just because he couldn't see her skin, didn't mean he didn't get a clear view of her whole body.

"Thank god," she said as the elevator finally pinged their flood.

-o-o-o-

Four days in:

"Might the Jackal suggest you try actually apologizing?"

Jason sat forward and tried to let the annoyance roll off of him. He had suggested watching a movie after dinner, but Brenda had smiled and rebuked the offer while praising Spinelli for getting her a collection of bath stuff earlier so she could take a long soak.

"This puppy dog thing is getting kind of old Spinelli."

He frowned at first, then decided to ignore him. "Normally Stone Cold understands the not at all unexplained phenomenon of catching more flies with honey than vinegar. The Jackal does his best to be a friend to The Princess and she returns the favor, especially in a trying time such as this, I would expect you to understand-"

"Maybe I should just move out and leave the apartment to you two."

"Are you?" Spinelli squinted and stopped, "jealous?"

"What are you talking about? I love Sam."

"The Jackal was not implying anything about your love for the Fair Samantha. The Jackal is only wondering if you've been so abrasive because you hate the fact that you like her. You can't stand the fact that you find her just as charming as the rest of us. You want to keep disliking her."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he shook his head and stood up from the table.

-o-o-o-

Five days in:

"Don't Jason," Brenda said walking into the apartment, she had taken two guards and Spinelli over to the Quartermaine's, "just don't."

Spinelli walked in silently as Brenda walked up the stairs.

"What happened?" Jason nodded at him and the box Spinelli was carrying.

"The Regal One has apparently decided to redecorate," Spinelli lifted the box slightly.

"Emi-"

Spinelli stopped him with a shake, "Jason's"

"She still had Jason's stuff?"

"She still had his whole room, the Jackal takes back any comments about the pink monstrosity being a shrine, I have seen a true one now."

"What's in there?"

"Clothing, toys," Spinelli said finally putting it down next to the door. "The Dominator and I watched some old footage of her matches while Brenda packed. She has been incredibly quiet. It is quite unnerving; I can see how it would bother you."

"What's she going to do with it?" Jason asked frowning at the box.

He shook his head, "I don't think she knows."

-o-o-o-

Evening:

The box was still sealed, but now it had two new people staring at it. Robin and Brenda leaning against the arm of the couch with beer bottles dangling between their fingers.

"So what are you supposed to do with it?"

"Not a clue."

"Monica was just going to get rid of it all?"

"Yea."

"Why?"

"Apparently she just realized it's time."

"Ah."

"Yea."

Brenda's lips twitched up in a smile, "There was still a bottle of Acqua di Gio, it just had this residue at the bottom. Em told me once she used to go in and spray it when she missed him."

"Jason always smelled amazing."

Brenda turned slightly with a smirk, _had that school girl crush really been so long ago? _"That reminds me, I got you something." She pushed off the sofa.

She pulled out a baby blue sweater with a teasing smile.

"Oh my god you didn't."

"I can't even believe he still had it that long. He had it when we were seniors."

"I can't believe you-"

"Does that mean you don't want it?"

"Brenda, I'm a grown woman-"

"I can toss it," she threatened towards the garbage can.

"Br-" Robin was quick to stop her, then frowned as Brenda smirked.

"Just put it on once, you spent years dreaming of this sweater," she threw it at her lil' sis.

"Oh god it's still so soft."

"Seriously, you've waited decades just put it on."

"Br-"

"Oh come on," she goaded.

"You put on something," Robin ordered as she peeled off a layer.

"Please I have no shame," Brenda announced with a head shake. "Oooh," she said pulling out a football jersey, "how about I'm a player this Halloween and you can be my trashy cheerleader girlfriend. God I want to make a Karen joke right now, but that would just be wrong."

Robin laughed as she pulled the sweater over her head, "I think you just did."

"It's not the same as if she were still around for me to say it to her face," Brenda pulled on the jersey.

"I wonder if there are shanks in heaven," Robin smiled at her.

Just then the door opened and in walked the boys.

"This is so not what it looks like," Robin announced with wide eyes, her laughter immediately dying.

"You mean the fact that you were just huffing that shirt trying to get a whiff of Jason?"

She threw her wadded up shirt at Brenda.

"Oooh a rubik's cube," Spinelli said going to grab it from the box. He fiddled with it for a moment before handing it to Jason, "I just need to get the algorithm for it," he pulled out his laptop. "Is that Battleship?"

"With sound," Brenda smiled.

"I will never understand how competition spread in that house," Robin laughed at her.

"I will never understand how I spent four hours playing Battleship," Brenda rolled her eyes.

"I wonder if they took the batteries out, if it's not corrosive we might be able to play," Spinelli said talking to himself.

"You know we can play without the sound."

"But it's not, the…ugh, it's ruined," he stood up, "the Jackal will return to his mission of-"

Jason held up the completed cube.

"It's," he shook his head, "you," he shook it some more, "but how."

"Robin, let's take this stuff upstairs," the laughter was gone from Brenda's voice.

-o-o-o-

Day 7:

"Seriously Brenda this is just getting old, I apologized what more do you want?" his voice was raised, he had had enough of this, whatever this was, it was ending today. He watched her go from charming to mute as Sonny left the penthouse, it had been his breaking point.

"Oh don't start Jason, we just need to suck it up for a few more days and then I'm out of your hair."

"I apologized-"

"But you don't mean it, the exact same issue we've always had and are always going to have, so seriously what the hell is the point of trying anymore? You are never going to be okay with the fact that I can't sit around with my head in the sand like an ostrich, but I'm sorry I can't live that way and you know what I'm not even sorry for that. It was my life too, Sonny should have been honest, it didn't just affect him, I deserved a say in my life."

"I know."

"I-" she stopped and turned back to him, "you know?"

"I left for Michael, I've never been anything but honest with Sam when it comes to this, this kind of a life," he shook his head.

"Then what the hell's your issue with me?"

"How you do things," he pointed out in loud shock, "it's never calm, easy or sensible. You get a thought into your head and you just do it and never think of the consequences."

"Excuse me for actually wanting to live life instead of sitting on the sidelines," she shrugged at him, the accusations clear in her voice.

"I don't live my life?"

"You used to," she pointed out. "At least before you had other things going on besides being Sonny's lapdog, but now all it is, is business and Sam. Things other people shouldn't be, **your whole world**."

"Sam isn't-"

"Oh please."

"So you've been acting like a bitch because of Sam?"

"No I've been acting like a bitch because you're a bastard," she reminded him.

"Not the Sonny lapdog comment?"

She frowned at him and the next thing he knew he was narrowly avoiding being nailed in the gut with a rubik's cube.

"What the hell was that?"

"Do you have any idea how much it sucks to feel guilty? Do you think we don't all see that you're still freakishly smart and a good guy underneath it all. That you would do anything for those around you? I brought Sonny into our lives."

"Brenda, I made my own decisions."

"Oh please Jason, you were practically one of those little goslings that followed the guy around."

"So I'm a mindless drone just doing what Sonny says?"

"No Jason, you make all of your asinine decisions yourself now. You're a big boy. You know how stupid your life is; it's why you don't let anyone in and why you spend half of your time cleaning up Sonny's messes."

"I think I preferred you not talking," he said walking towards the kitchen.

"Yea well that ship has sailed. So get over it," she called out as she headed up the stairs.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys, I hope you liked it, or you know at least don't regret reading it. :-P


	27. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

**Note to reviewers:** Do not ask questions in a review when you are not logged into FFN. I cannot answer you. This does not apply to readers who have posted logged in reviews to previous chapters, I am skilled enough to click over to those and respond. :-P

AN (non-story related):

1)Someone figure out what Spinelli calls Brenda on 9/14. I understood The Divine One, then there's something like the Doppelganger for Aerial _ (I heard bling, Lori heard Plane, pretty sure those are both wrong). If anyone is up for the challenge, youtube " 09-14-10 A Prelude to Brazen" it's at the 3:10 mark.

2) Haha. So I figured it out. You guys totally like Brazen being straight up Brazen, fighting, bickering, letting the other one have it. No maturity allowed. :-P Umm okay I kinda agree. Especially now. :-P I think this is it while I'm working out my want to whack Jason upside the head. Back to mature Jason in next week's stories.

**Dymondgurl **– Has provided the name for this passage from her review. I think it's our reason behind being Brazen fans.

**Story related:** This can go with the last 2 chapters of The Path to. Actually, it probably should go with the first one (at least) since it contains plot points from it. :-P It's just more Brazen not getting along, yet getting along.

* * *

**Actions Speak Louder Than Words**

Spinelli noticed how they would hug. How she would nearly bury herself into his body. How he would hold her tightly. She had nightmares, a lot of them. It pained Spinelli to realize what someone as fair as her had gone through. The nightmares she had experienced. She was full of drama for sure, but it was the light and bubbly kind as there was too much of life within her to be contained. Still though when she awoke from nightmares Jason always managed to reach her first and it always played out the same. She would clutch him, he would hold her and then they would realize who the other was and push them away.

Jason didn't stop himself from going to her while they were fighting.

She didn't stop herself from clutching him while she was fully awake when things with the Balkan ended.

It always ended the same though with an abrupt departure from the hug and it never being mentioned.

But Spinelli noticed every time.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Brenda must be so relieved she can go home," Sam smiled now that things with the Balkan were over. It had been two days and life was once more calm.

"Actually Jax offered Brenda Kate's position at Crimson."

"Brenda's never run a magazine," Sam frowned. _This was not how it was supposed to go._

"Neither had Kate," Jason reminded her. "I think it's more her connections and knowing the industry."

"Oh," the confused look remained on her face, "is she going to move into the hotel?"

Jason snorted, "With Carly as her landlord?"

"Oh yea," she nodded gently, "guess that probably wouldn't be a good idea."

"Yea the place would probably burn down again."

Sam smiled, "Or explode."

Jason smiled.

"So is she just going to stay here?"

"For the time being," he frowned, "I think she likes living with Spinelli."

_Sam wasn't too sure Spinelli was the reason_.

"She and Robin have talked about getting a place together, I don't know. She didn't want to move into the Quartermaines. Even Mac offered her a room."

"Isn't she Miss International Supermodel? I'm sure she could afford her own place."

"Brenda does better living with other people. She's a little less self involved," he made a face. "Which is actually scary when I think about it."

"That's certainly magnanimous of you," she said going to curl into his side on the couch.

"It'll be easier to clean up after her if I catch it early," he said wrapping his arms around her.

Sam chuckled against his chest and they simply held each other.

Ten minutes later as the couple was still enjoying the rare tranquility of the penthouse when noise over took them from the hallway.

Eventually in stumbled Brenda and Spinelli, their arms filled with bags from Wyndnams, laughing and squabbling with each other in the same breath.

"Hi," her smile was bright as she noticed them, "we went shopping," she said gently lifting the overflowing and numerous bags in her arms and obviously still on her shopping high.

"I can see why didn't you have the guard-"

"He's coming up with the handcart," Brenda stopped him.

"How much did you buy?"

"We were just going for towels because seriously Jason, sandpaper, and then we realized we need more storage for that bathroom to be functional for two people."

"You need a wing for it to hold all of your crap," he muttered.

She scowled, but quickly continued on, "And then we passed bedding and who wants to sleep on sheets that are 8 years old. They were nice when I bought them almost a decade ago. We got you new sheets too, money is a good thing; it exists so you don't have to sleep on 200 thread count."

Sam frowned she had picked out the sheets and towels.

"Damian finally has a nice manly bed."

"For which the Jackal thanks you," he bowed lightly at her.

"I have non-soiled bedding."

"A true princess bed for The Princess."

She laughed, loudly. "Hey it's less pink."

"There may be less pink, but it still appears to be just as pink, I like the buttons-"

"It's called tufting."

"Can we wrap this up?" Jason said growing weary of their banter.

"Oh and then we found a very Ariel inspired enchanted mirror for the Fairest of Faces," Spinelli said ignoring him.

"I thought Snow White had the mirror?" Sam questioned.

"Yes, but the scrolls of this are covered in little shells," Spinelli explained.

"You got a mirrored covered in shells?" Jason asked Brenda with a frown.

"Not like clam shells Jason, like little iridescent squares, that-" she stopped herself, "why am I explaining this to you?"

"I have no idea."

"Beds first? Then bathroom?" Brenda asked Spinelli.

"Good plan."

"Just send Milo upstairs when he gets here. Remind him to be careful with my mirror."

"Okay they're seriously just odd," Sam said going to curl back into Jason's side.

"I'm not going to fight you on that."

-o-o-o-

"So you're just going to ignore that?" Sam asked thirty minutes later as Milo hadn't returned downstairs yet and a significant amount of noise was starting to trickle down.

"Yes."

"You sure?" the edges of her lips peaked up amused at the Jason's struggle to remain seated.

"They can do whatever they want to their rooms."

"I'm proud of you," she smiled at his self control and not getting involved in whatever mischief Spinelli and Brenda were up to.

"Hey Jason," Brenda yelled from the top of the stairs. "Do you have a drill?"

"Found it!" Spinelli yelled.

"Never mind," she called down.

"And you're going," Sam informed him and moved away.

"I'll be right back," he shot up.

-o-o-o-

Jason lost an hour of his life and Sam to her mother's house as he built cabinets and installed a shelf in Brenda and Spinelli's bathroom. Then another hour as he shifted furniture around in both of their rooms and listened to Brenda debate the location of her new mirror as he debated taking the hammer to it.

"We're not moving it right?" she asked.

"No," he said firmly.

"Okay okay, yea it works there," she nodded at it. "I think the whole room came together nicely." She stood next to her freshly fluffed bed, complete with more pillows than Jason cared to count.

"Whatever, I don't really see the difference, but it's your money," Spinelli was right it was a lot less pink, that still managed to seem just as pink.

"Actually the thing about that is I forgot my husband in an attempt to keep me from bothering him asking for money set up an account at Wyndham's in my name, but everything gets billed to him." She smiled brightly, "Kinda rude then, but now," she knocked her head to the side and continued to smile at him.

He clenched his fists.

"Especially when I realized how high he set my credit limit. Really didn't want me bothering you, did you?"

"I'm going to go for a ride," he said struggling to retain his composure.

"Have fun dear," she called out, "thanks for my room."

She smirked to herself as his eyes closed in frustration causing him to pause.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A few weeks after Brenda's return:

"Aaaaah," she screamed as she walked into the penthouse, slamming the door behind her.

He turned and stared at her in confusion from the couch, "Something wrong?"

"Why am I SUCH A GOD DAMN IDIOT?" Her hands flared out in utter frustration.

_This was definitely a trap._

"We spend the night talking about how amazing we were and how much we loved each other. The first time in years my life finally had some semblance of being right…" Her hands clenched and then once more flung out, "I call off my engagement because of it, my engagement to this kind and wonderful man, who loves me. I mean me," she held a hand to her chest, "screwed up, neurotic, commitment phobe me. And what does Sonny do?" Her hand shifted to the side in question. "He sleeps with the federal prosecutor who's supposed to be trying to put him in jail."

She let out a bitter laugh and then flung her arms out when he tried coming near her. "That's twice now," she lifted 2 fingers, "twice that he has left me, to sleep with someone so he can stay out of jail. Twice." She laughed again like it was the most hysterical thing she had ever heard. "You know I basically told him that it was okay that he shot his son. What the hell is wrong with me?" She took in a gasping breath. "These things aren't okay. They were never okay. The strip club, the drugs. I was 18 and I knew that and he only gets worse and I keep making these excuses for him. You know I get that I have daddy issues, I get that, I understand that I'm screwed up, but seriously? Twice!"

Tears flooded her cheeks by this point and she was ferociously wiping them away, so incredibly pissed off at herself.

"He's supposed to be the love of my life," her hands pressed deeply onto her chest. "When I'm with him, everything seems so much better, but then he…" she shook her head violently. "I told him to come back for his kids." Another hysterical laugh, "Not create another one."

He swooped in then as her eyes closed in pain, he held her even as she fought him.

"How can this still hurt so badly? How can he still hurt me so badly?"

"Bren-"

She shook her head violently and shoved him away, "No. Don't. I get it Jason. I know you never approved of me and Sonny."

_And she wondered why._

"I am too old for this," she shook her head again, "I'm finally home. I have a new career. Sonny Corinthos is just a blip on my past." She turned to walk up the stairs. She turned back suddenly pointing a threatening finger at him, "If you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill you."

Jason let out a long sigh as he heard her door slam, his eyes still wide with what just happened. He turned towards the kitchen and Sam came out.

"That was," her eyes were wide as well.

"Yea," he nodded.

"I should go."

"Yea."

"Sam," he softly spoke as she reached the door. "This is Brenda's private-"

"Don't worry. My lips are sealed."

"Thank you."

She nodded.

-o-o-o-

He knocked at her door hours later, "Brenda."

"What?"

He rolled his eyes, "Can I come in?"

"I'm fine Jason," she called out annoyed.

He turned the knob.

"What the hell, I could have been naked," she snapped at him from her spot of the cream and white bed, the sea of striped and tufted pillows behind her, laptop in front of her.

"Like that would have been so different," he shook his head. She had on a pair of black leggings as it was with a loose cream v-neck. Straightened hair pulled back haphazardly, strands of it falling in front of her glasses.

"What do you want?"

"You didn't come down for dinner," he held up a bar of her favorite chocolate.

She laughed and held out her hand. "Thank you."

"Are you feeling better?" he forced himself to ask.

"I feel like a fool. I should ask Carly how she copes with it on a daily basis."

"Brenda," he warned.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh calm down. Like I'd actually go out of my way to talk to her."

"Brenda, Carly and Jax-"

"Oh come on, seriously. I am over all men from my past. Actually I think I might be over all men," she shoved her computer off her lap.

Jason snorted.

She sighed at him and glared.

"New picture?" he looked at the poorly matched wood frame that contained a picture of Brenda, Jason Quartermaine and Robin smiling.

"It was Jason's."

He didn't remember it, it had been a lifetime since he had been in that room. "It's a good picture you look happy."

She sighed as she looked over at it. "A time before Sonny." She let out a murmur. "What I wouldn't give to go back and have her take a cab from Kelly's to the Quartermaines."

He let out an unexpected laugh.

"Guess I can't do that?" she smirked.

"Probably not, but if you ever figure it out, let me know."

"Will do," she laughed. "I should probably learn to leave the past in the past."

He let out another unexpected chuckle, "Maybe at least try learning from your past."

She let a small laugh, "In my case that probably means I won't even flinch the third time he tells me he loves me and wants to run away with me and gets another woman pregnant."

"Claire's actually pregnant?" his brows narrowed.

"I have no idea, I couldn't take anymore. I left before I could overhear anything else."

He groaned and ran a hand over his face.

-o-o-o-

"She heard everything Sonny," Jason informed the other man as he talked about going to see Brenda.

"She heard what?" Sonny looked nervous.

"She heard you and Claire yesterday. She knows you left Rome and-"

"I left Rome to be with my kids. Don't judge me on what I had to do to stay with them," he warned.

"I'm not," he shook his head at the other man. He tried not to think of the other man using a child as a bargaining chip. "I'm just telling you that she knows."

"I asked her," Sonny looked pained and his eyes closed. "How was I supposed to know she'd leave him?"

"You couldn't," Jason shrugged, "but she did."

"And the charges are gone and Brenda and I can finally start our lives-"

"Is Claire pregnant?" Jason cut the other man off.

Sonny remained silent.

Jason flinched in automatic pain, for himself and Brenda. "Think about what you're asking of her Sonny before you actually ask her." He nodded once and then turned and left.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Saturday, October 30th:

At first he stared in shock as they came down the stairs as Spinelli waited by the stairs in his detective trench coat and hat, trying to channel Sam Spade. Robin's hair in waves and parted on the side, bright red lips and an even brighter plunging red dress, Spinelli's femme fatale. Walking beside her with her pinned up and back in secretary garb was Brenda; that was what caused his laughter.

"Oh come on, we look great," Brenda exclaimed.

"No, the costumes are great."

"I think he's laughing over the fact that we're definitely wearing the wrong ones," Robin let out a snigger.

"Come on, I can be mature and responsible. I don't always have to be flashy. And let's be honest Robin needs to spend a little time with her inner femme fatale. Not to mention there are going to be some really hot guys at the Metro Court tonight."

"Brenda I'm not read-"

"Oh no no, I'm not shoving you out there. Just a little flirting to get you back into the swing of things-"

"Brenda-" she threatened.

"Honestly, I'm asking you to flirt with a few models it's hardly the end of the world, now come on."

"Effie, Miss Wonderly, can I suggest we fight about this in the car, might the Jackal remind you that you are trying to be more professional and this is a work related function."

"Exactly good point Sam," Brenda smiled. "Come on, let's go before I have to before I have to call the cops on you for being a party killer."

"I'm coming," Robin said walking towards the coats.

"Last chance to come," Brenda offered to Jason.

"I'm good," he nodded, "have fun."

-o-o-o-

Sunday, October 31st:

"Jason, I need you to tell Robin that she isn't naked," Brenda called out from the top of the stairs.

Jason's eyes rolled back and leaned his head against the sofa.

"Might the Jackal suggest you go so we can leave already," Spinelli snipped.

"Don't speak," Jason said raising a finger to him, "if you speak I have to look at you." Spinelli in a leopard print sweater vest was already burned into his mind. Dante was on duty and Lulu had requested Ferris Bueller as a backup date. Jason had already had to listen to Spinelli give two speeches into the air. He headed up to her room.

"I am naked Brenda, in what word did you think that this was a good idea? What happened to that costume we looked at? The one with a stomach!"

Jason walked in to see Robin in a short white cheer skirt, a bare stomach and a long sleeved green top.

"It was black, it didn't match my costume," Brenda quickly replied which forced Jason to look at her. Her hair back in a ponytail, black smudges under her eyes and Jason Quartermaine's gold and green jersey on, tied in the back to show just a flash on skin, her outfit completed by a pair of green and gold spandex leggings.

"You have got to be kidding me," he stared in shock at her.

"What?"

"We look like idiots, I had a baby Brenda," she reminded her friend.

"Which is all the more reason to flaunt it."

"Can we just go," Jason said turning taking out his phone to call Max and set up someone to pick them up from the bar. He was going to need it tonight.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Around a month post Lisa's murder:

"We need to do something believable, they aren't buying it," Sam informed Jason, Spinelli and Brenda as they were gathered together in Carly's office at the Metro Court. "More realistic."

"What?" Spinelli took notice of the pitch Brenda and Jason's voices reached as they answered in unison.

"Just something to get them off your case, look for the real murderer or at least stop the round the clock surveillance on you two."

"Um," Spinelli's voice cracked, "what exactly is Fair Samantha requesting of the Princess and Stone Cold?"

"I don't know," she shook her head, "a kiss in public or something. Just something that actually gives them proof of you two being together."

"I'm not really a kiss in pu-"

"Yea I mean, I'm not a teenager anymore," Brenda backed him up.

"They're on you two everywhere. Just find a place and make it look believable so we can be together again. Do this for me Jason?" she asked him. Reassured by Spinneli's previous insistence that she was reading too much into things, she knew they needed to get this resolved sooner rather than later, her imagination couldn't take anymore.

"Ugh," Carly said entering her office quickly, "I am really getting sick of this. Can't you do your little pow-wows elsewhere, where I don't have to see her? Or better yet just send her to jail?"

"You know I am sick of your-" Brenda launched forward as Jason pulled her back.

"We all need a resolution to this Jason," Sam pointed out.

-o-o-o-

"So we have to make this believable," Brenda nodded the next day as she was in the car with Jason, discussing how to make use of what they knew of the surveillance on them.

"I don't see how this is ever going to be believable."

"I know, you kiss me, I'd probably smack you," Brenda nodded ahead.

"Yea well I'd obviously need some sense slapped into me if I was kissing you."

"Which is why we were selling this as something wrong," she nodded.

"Exactly."

"Which is how we sell this," she nodded still looking straight ahead.

"Which is…"

"They have the elevators under surveillance?"

"Yea I don't know what judge they got to sign that warrant."

"It's just video right?"

"Yea, there's no audio feed," he briefly looked over at her serious face.

"So we park the car act like we're in a fight, get into the elevator and kiss me in anger. It's the only way this will be believable. Everyone knows we don't like each other, have it be something that comes from that."

"Fine," he nodded.

"Good," she nodded still not looking at him.

"I can see them behind us, start now," Jason ordered her.

"Oh with pleasure," she turned giving him a dirty look.

-o-o-o-

He sat in stunned shock for a split second as he slammed the car into park as Brenda bailed from it as he waited for the garage to open. She was of course acting on instinct and expecting him to play along. He saw one the guards that Sonny had assigned to the building since Brenda had moved in and wondered if she had actually acted with her brain instead of her emotions. The guard stared after Brenda in shock and had just turned in time to see Jason fling his door open, joining in her public spectacle, after this everyone would believe they were indeed at a motel when Lisa was murdered or they'd be going to jail. "Park the car," he ordered the man as he went chasing after her.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" he attempted to keep his voice low.

"Oh," she turned with disdain, "you should be so lucky." Then turned and surged forward again, "Feel free to slam it in his face," she informed the doorman.

"You know Brenda if you just stopped acting like a spoiled self centered little princess for five minutes you might actually realize the world doesn't revolve around you," she turned in complete fury just as the elevator dinged.

"You-"

"And that not everything needs to be a public spectacle," he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the elevator.

"I'm sorry Jason, some of us actually have emotions," was the last thing they heard as the elevator closed and she wrenched herself free of him and slammed the button for the penthouse.

"I don't have emotions?" He warned as he surged across the elevator. He pinned her arms against the wall, her threat of a slap still fresh in his mind. He always forgot just how small she was; she had an attitude bigger than most men double her size. Her brown eyes blazed in fury as she pierced him with them for a split second before he crushed their mouths together. He let go of her arms a few moments after she stopped fighting him, his slid around her as hers slid around his neck, he was pulling her up and closer before he even realized it. Her boots dug into his backside.

They didn't speak, they groaned as the elevator ascended, so it wouldn't have mattered if there was audio with the footage. He carried her out of the elevator like that, neither of them coming up for air long and his hand miraculously found the door handle without an issue and as Spinelli tended to, the door was open so Brenda wouldn't have to fumble with her keys.

"Gaaah!" was Spinelli's response as he turned at the desk, the chair proceeding to flip over with Spinelli still on it.

That broke them away from each other and Brenda was quickly dropped to her feet.

"That should get them of our back," she nodded as they both tried looking nonchalant. "I'm going upstairs."

"Not a word Spinelli," Jason ordered as Spinelli began to mumble. "You better have been right about the elevator. I'll be in my room if you need me."

Spinelli sat on the floor for several more minutes in shock. Fair Samantha's plan may have been a success, but not how she intended it to be.

He escaped to Lulu's once he gathered his wits, sitting on her couch and mumbling about the implications of such a relationship until Dante's return, he knew Lulu would sell the story to Dante, not that there was much she needed to sell anymore.

He returned home and headed towards the kitchen. He found the beer gone along with Brenda's stash of chocolate. Their doors remaining firmly shut.

* * *

Yay! More Brazen this week! Was anyone else cracking up over Carly this week? Anyone else thinking, "Umm yea Michael priority. You? You didn't run away with him, then you slept with Sonny, then you married Sonny. No priority status for you." I loved it though. It was hilarious. Carly and Brenda are truly soap opera absurd, they're just so over the top when paired with each other.

Thanks for reading guys. And wow killer reviews last chapter. Umm **Salena**, you write better reviews than I do chapters so again thank you!


	28. The Ends in the Beginning

**AN: Umm I giggle like a school girl the entire time Brazen is on screen. It's pathetic. I really really missed watching GH. **

Random: Oooh I get to kinda use a Bones title as a title. I'm excited. Two hot man crushes combine!

**Rach6, Leigh, and Tanilc: Umm you guys killed me sleeping and then being productive this morning by posting quickly. **

Rach6: Oh man you have no idea how much I wanted to find a way to put that into this once you said it. I have not written a Carly and Brenda going at it scene in ages!

Leigh: Yea that's what the transcripts said, now any idea what that Aerial/Ariel Blaine means?

Tanilc: Um there was not going to be a video leak and then you said it and next thing I knew the PCPD was totally corrupt and leaking it. Hey if hospitals leak patient info on celebs, the PCPD can leak a celeb hooking up video. :-P

You 3 totally rock!

AN: Kay this may be the final part of this, but I won't say that for certain because I thought it with ALL of the other parts. :-P I'm thinking you can figure out the theme of this chapter from the title.

**Thanks for reading! **(and if you like this at all, thank the 3 mentioned above :-P)

* * *

**The Ends in the Beginning**

_Rome: Brenda's Jason Q flip out (mentioned in A Picture's Worth):_

"How could you do it Jason!" the picture launched across Brenda's bedroom.

"How could you do it to everyone?" she screamed at the shattered shards on her floor.

"You were smarter than that, you were better than that."

"You always promised to be there. You promised we'd be friends forever."

Her hands went up to her hair and she pulled at the roots gently, to feel something that wasn't a throbbing sense of loss.

"You were everything, you had everything and you just left everyone!" She doubled over as the air left her lungs. "Why didn't you stop and think about anyone else? You left all of us and you destroyed AJ because you had to be perfect. You killed AJ by getting into that car. You did it for nothing except to make yourself feel better. When someone's on a bridge you don't jump with them!"

She slid against her bed to the floor.

"We needed you. I needed you. No one really listened. No one heard like you did," her voice trembled.

"I'm a mess Jason," she shook her head woefully, "and you aren't here to give me a hug and convince me it's going to be okay."

She choked back a sob, "You had no right to leave us when we're such failures without you."

She crawled forward to the picture, slicing her hand just as she reached it, "Son of a-" she put the wounded hand to her mouth and then picked up the frame. She turned it over to see those perfect blue eyes staring at her.

"I miss you," she said curling it towards her body.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_B__renda's office: Immediately following Jason informing Sonny that Brenda knows about him and Claire:_

"Don't you understand," Sonny's hands clasped her arms as she tried to turn away from him tears already in her eyes; they were in her office, where she had been plunged into the fire with no time to learn only a few new friends to help lead the way. "We can finally be together."

"How can we be together Sonny? You're having a baby with her. With this woman you barely know," she pulled free of his arms.

"It's not like that Brenda," he pleaded, "it has nothing to do with us."

She let out a desperate laugh as she bent forward in pain. "Has nothing to do with us?" She shook her head, "You track me down in Rome. You see me for the first time in 8 years. You go on and on about us. You ask me to run away with you and then you **fuck** the woman trying to put you in jail? And now you're having a baby with her?"

"I was-"

"No Sonny," the sobs evident in her voice, "I don't want to hear any more excuses. Why did you go through all the effort of making me fall in love with you? Of keeping me in love with you. It's been the same ride since I was 19. 19 Sonny! I have spent my entire adult life trying to get over you, but you just never let me. I can't do it anymore."

"Bren, sweetheart," he tried to soothe her.

"No," she yanked herself free just as his fingers were about to skim her. "I can't. Not anymore. You know one of the reasons I loved you so much was because of what you thought about family. You stayed with Lily, I watched you fight to stay with Carly, but now…" she shook her head slowly at him. "I know you better than anyone else and I don't know you at all and I don't want to try anymore. I can't get over this Sonny. I can't offer to be the stepmom or your mistress-"

"Brenda, I'm not asking you-"

"I can't ignore it, you can't ignore it. I can't hate a baby Sonny and I would. Everything I've been dreaming of since I was 19 Sonny, I can't do it."

"That's…That's just it. You can just walk away from us?"

"We both already did, we just didn't want to admit it."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_Sam's Place: Two days afte__r the elevator:_

"What were you thinking?" Carly screeched at Sam's door.

"What are you talking about?" She asked in confusion.

"Brenda and Jason?" she demanded answers as she walked in the door. "I mean it was pretty idiotic when you agreed to the whole affair alibi, but you just handed him over to her on a silver platter." She threw her clutch on Sam's couch, "Jason's gone now. Once she gets her hooks into them," Carly warned as she peeled off her coat.

"Jason isn't going anywhere. I talked to him this morning and he was fine."

"Oh I'm sure he was more than fine, they're normally pretty blissful at the start; the misery doesn't start until later."

"Look Carly, you're overreacting, Jason did what he needed to in-"

"Oh no, whatever reasons you might have had for having Jason do this, we both know he's a horrible actor. Trust me, what I'm hearing around town Jason would have never been able to pull off."

"What-" Sam shifted her entire body as she prepared herself, "what did you hear?"

"Oh let's see, I've heard they were about to fuck. Dry humping. Just the word hot has been used a lot. And then there has been everyone going, that they knew Brenda and Jason didn't really hate each other that much that they were just hiding what they were feeling. I mean if I hear it's a thin line between love and hate one more time, I might actually throw up."

"They were supposed to make it look believable," her voice started to betray her fear.

"Yea well, congratulations, apparently they were so successful even they believed it."

"Did Jason say-"

"Ah no, call it good old fashioned common sense, you might have heard of it. Brenda going into Crimson at 6 yesterday when she normally strolls in at 9 and then leaving at almost midnight, apparently staying late instead of taking stuff home and finishing days worth of stuff according to Lulu. Coming back in at 7 this morning and honestly looking like utter hell. There's something going on and they both know it. They were happy hating each other. More importantly I was happy with them hating each other. Kept a nice balance in the world of Brenda worshipping, but you…You decided to not only ignore me, but push them together. You have only yourself to blame for this," she pointed a finger at her, "I have only you to blame for this." She picked up her coat and flung it over her arm. "You are over. Done." She picked up her clutch. "Take it from someone who knows, Brenda will make Liz look like nothing." She shook her head in disgust at her, "I hope you're happy with yourself. I'm done. There's nothing I can do to help you. He's lost."

-o-o-o-

"I need to see that video," Sam quietly, but desperately approached Lucky. She thought about going to Spinelli, but Spinelli with all of his reassurances about those two and his, 'Fairest of Faces, Princess, Sparkles…' he hadn't been on Sam's side since Brenda came to town, she knew that now.

"Sam," Lucky frowned.

"I need to see what they are. What he left me for," Sam swallowed hard. "I trusted him Lucky, I trusted him with everything."

Lucky nodded after a second, "Let me see what I can do."

"Everyone's seen it," she pointed out.

"I know Sam," he closed his eyes briefly annoyed at the force he was on; it had been leaked even before the cops on Jason got back to the station. "Just meet at the park in five minutes."

"Thank you Lucky," she nodded and prayed Carly was wrong.

-o-o-o-

"Are you sure you want to see this?" he asked as he approached her on the bench.

"No, but I have to."

"Fair enough," he nodded; he untucked the iPad Lulu had gotten him from under his arm. "Yea, you aren't going to believe how big the boys have gotten," he smiled as a woman walked by.

She watched in silence for that long minute and twenty seven seconds. Her entire world couldn't have possibly ended so quickly.

"Sam," Lucky began as it ended.

"Thank you," she nodded at him.

"Sam if you know anything about Lisa's."

She stood. "I don't. I…Thank you for this. You're a good friend Lucky," she nodded.

-o-o-o-

She sat shivering at the boathouse at the Quartermaines that night. It was more than just nerves, her jacket wasn't doing anything to keep her warm as she waited for Jason. She'd had to sneak onto the property before he arrived with Brenda, he needed to excuse himself and sneak down to see her. Spinelli had arranged the meet once before at the start, they'd had a quickie then. She prayed that would be the case this time.

He'd barely arrived, they'd barely exchanged greetings when she launched on him, "I saw the video."

"You what?" he frowned.

"The video of you and Brenda. I saw it today."

"How did you-"

"Does it really matter Jason? The point is I saw it."

"Okay and? I did exactly what you asked me to do."

"You know Carly's right, you aren't a good actor, so can you please just-"

"Carly?" Jason frowned, annoyance flooded his voice, "Sam, you know better than to believe anything Carly tells you."

"And the fact that you're defensive?" she pushed.

"I'm defensive because I did exactly what you asked and now you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry Jason, I just want the truth!"

"What truth?"

"Did you sleep with her?"

He frowned, "What? No. Of course not."

"Did you want to?"

"God, I can't believe this is happening," he turned away briefly and turned back. "I asked you from the start if you were okay with this."

"I was okay with an alibi Jason-"

"This is too much for you," he shook his head at her, "this would be too much for anyone Sam."

"What? No," she frowned and shook her head.

"It was unfair of me to ask this of you."

"No Jason," she shook her head again.

"Everything I've asked of you in the past few years-"

"Jason, you didn't ask, I offered."

"There's no end to this," he shook his head slowly at her, "if it's not this then it's something else. It hasn't been fair of me-"

"No Ja-"

"Do you know what I realized the other night? After Brenda and I kissed? This has been a month of sanctioned cheating. Going places with her, doing things with her, everything I should have been doing with you, I was doing with her while you were alone."

"It's okay Jason-"

"No, it's not Sam. It's still cheating and I had no right to ask it of you. I had no right to do it to you, even with your permission. I can't keep doing it."

"Then we'll leave, we can leave tonight," she started to rush toward him.

"I can't leave Sam," he shook his head at her. "This is my life. This has always been my life." He left out an unexpected and bitter laugh as he looked around. "Literally. As much as I hate it, I'm a Quartermaine and everything that's made me. I was born for the second time, a five minute walk from here. Port Charles is my home. My family is here and I can never stop protecting them and taking care of them."

"I'd never ask you to."

"The right man would Sam."

_He said it. _

"This isn't because I don't love you, but we have to end things."

"You're leaving me for her."

"I'm leaving you for us Sam. Because you deserve better and I can't stand myself right now, I can't be this man."

"Jason-" her voice cracked.

"I'm sorry," he nodded once and turned to walk out.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_B__renda's bedroom: Two weeks later:_

"Yea well I need to go to Vegas Jason, so I don't know what you want me to tell you."

"Brenda, you can't just go across the country."

"Yes, I can Jason. I have work," she shook her head at him and returned to putting away her clothing.

"With everything going on with Lisa's murder and the Balkan-"

"Things in the past, I'm focused on my future."

"You're not going to actually have a future with how-"

"Oh do not start Jason," she just looked annoyed as she turned to him.

"Someone is going after everyone involved in Lisa's-"

"I was not involved, do you seriously still not believe I didn't do it-"

"You know what I mean, everyone with a motive."

"The police haven't proven that yet," she was quick to point out.

"The police haven't proven a lot of things and that doesn't mean they aren't true trust me."

"I can't go with a sea of guards Jason; I can't be the story in a magazine when I'm trying to run a magazine."

He shook his head at her and walked away. He walked downstairs to where Spinelli was making a sandwich. "Can you do me a favor and get me on Brenda's flights? Lulu should have all the information."

"The former Mister and Missus are returning to the place of their nuptials?"

"We're going because Brenda has work," Jason snapped, "and I need you to make sure I'm not in coach and that we have a private and secure suite that does not have mirrors on the ceiling and a couch that I fit on. Can you manage that?"

"The…I…Uh yes. No problem Stone Cold. I will call the Blonde One right now."

"Thank you," he headed upstairs towards his bathroom for Tylenol.

-o-o-o-

"The Jackal conferred with Lulu and has booked you a seat next to our Overworked Princess, her room has been cancelled and I have booked you into the Wynn, a tower suite, it has a private entrance and two separate bathrooms."

"Thank you Spinelli, I'm sorry if I-"

Spinelli waved off his concern. "The Jackal is well aware things have not been easy as of late." And by late, he meant post interrupting Fire and Ice from fornicating in their living room. _They had been quite unpleasant since. _

Jason just nodded.

"I feel as if I would be remiss, if I do not try to be a guiding and supportive friend after all that you have done for Daniel-San."

"Spi-"

"It is not much, it is just that the original Enlightened One said that there are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting."

"Spinelli what is that supposed to-"

"The Jackal has never seen you afraid to take a difficult journey. I think it would be a great shame if you were to begin now."

"Spi-"

"Only two obstacles remain blocking that path," he knowingly supplied.

Jason's open mouth shut.

-o-o-o-

Brenda was quiet the whole trip except for her loud abuses of the technology she was taking her aggression out on. The FBI was helping Interpol in their investigation into the Balkan. They were still suspects in Lisa's murder and now someone was targeting all suspects. They were really not having a good Fall.

They fought the entire way to the luggage carousel as he critiqued the fact that she'd had to check a bag when they were in town for two nights. She'd rolled her carry on onto his foot. He could hear himself fuming, he could hear the loud breaths he was trying to regulate as they waited for the luggage to start coming out.

He looked down at her as she glared ahead at the empty belt. She'd discarded her black jacket the moment they started their walk to her bags carrying it along with her coat. So he looked down to see dark hair over bare shoulders, despite the fact that it was December. The loose white tank and jeans looked as if they'd been battered and worn for years, they weren't of course and he would never understand that. The black flats, he was sure she wore solely for the fact that she could smugly toe out of them as he struggled with his boots as they went through security.

The hair falling in front of her face, framing her glasses. He hadn't seen her dress like a model in her free time since the first time she left Port Charles. She was a little less annoying to look at when she wasn't dressed quite so pretentiously. Not that he looked at her though.

"What?" she snapped up at him as she realized he was looking down. "I heard you the first dozen times, but I actually need to look good for my job."

"We both know what we need to do Brenda," he continued looking down at her; he watched her eyes widen behind the glass. "With everything going on, the only sensible thing, I can't believe I just called it that, is for us to do is get married again." He had finally said it aloud, that nagging thought that had been there growing in his mind for weeks.

"No Lisa, the Bal-"

"Jax," Jason cut him. She immediately looked defensive. "I know how often he stops by Crimson."

"Why do we call them guards when they're actually just spies," she shook her head angrily. "Nothing is going on between me and Jax. We're friends," her head dropped back down to glare again at the empty belt.

"For how long Brenda?"

"My past is in my past, like our marriage."

"Tell that to Josslyn and Morgan when-"

She stopped him with a glare.

"We both know it's for the best."

"Finally," she said as the luggage started to come. Looking at the opening waiting to see her bag she calmly spoke again, "We agree that it's just for the time being until everything blows-"

"Obviously," _they couldn't, they wouldn't spend the rest of their lives together._

"Get my bag," she ordered, "and not a word about how heavy it is."

-o-o-o-

"Try to look happy for the photos," she informed him as they sat waiting at the True Love Wedding Chapel.

"Me?" He countered.

"Seriously, who'd even believe it," she shook her head. "This is insane."

"Only one picture," Jason informed the man who had just blinded him with a flash, "at the end."

"One," she nodded as the man walked away, "we can look believable for one."

Jason snorted.

-o-o-o-

"Can we just agree to be married and not kill each other?" Brenda stopped the vows from being recited.

Buddy never let the worry show on his face. "Of course here at the-"

"So then I do," she cut him off.

"I do too," Jason immediately followed her.

"Are there rings this time?"

Jason pulled out the box they had picked up from Harry Winston's at Caesars on their way to the chapel.

"Ah lovely," he nodded, "now if you can-"

Brenda grabbed Jason's ring from the box.

"Brenda, with this ring I thee wed," Buddy quickly supplied before she could beat him to it.

"With this ring, I thee wed," she rammed it over his knuckle. Jason barely flinched.

"Ja-"

"With this ring, I thee wed," he quickly said and they both quickly turned back to Buddy.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Again. You may now, if you want, to kiss the bride."

She turned and looked up at him, daring him.

She was tiny again, in flats, he had seven inches on her, he shouldn't be intimidated. He reminded himself of that, he reminded himself of the picture, he ignored Spinelli's words. He didn't hold her arms this time, he simply tilted his head and leaned down. Lips touched and then a hand went into her hair. They stayed that way for some time until they finally remembered to separate.

"Now it makes sense," Buddy said as they came up for air. But they just remained close, blue staring into brown, neither having any idea what they were seeing.

-o-o-o-

They barely spoke to each other after. She was curt with their driver; he was curt with the hotel staff. They had both been curt with Buddy. And then suddenly they were alone again. In the large airy suite Spinelli had booked for them.

"This is temporary," she said moments after the bellhop left them, looking into the room and not at Jason. She only looked up when he didn't say anything.

He still didn't, instead he stepped closer to her. He ran his fingers along her jaw, slid his fingers into her hair. He didn't kiss her in anger or defiance. He kissed her calmly, tenderly, even sweetly.

That left soon enough though. Quickly they were tearing at clothing and falling into bed.

Eventually she fell into an exhausted sleep atop him.

He was left wide awake with his heart pounding faster and louder than it had been before. He didn't know what any of it meant. He didn't know why he wasn't rolling her off of him, he didn't know why he was still holding her so tightly.

He knew he was scared though. That Spinelli was right and that this path frightened him more than any before.

He held her tighter.

* * *

Woohoo, I got to work in the Steve Burton, "I'm a Quartermaine at heart, "sentiment and it came out of nowhere. Umm yea Jason was a little wordy during his breakup, but well. I have no control so I can't do anything, but apologize.

So obviously this is all about the ends needed for them to take that next step. Brenda having to grieve for the person Jason was before she can accept him for who he is now. The end of Brenda's dream for her and Sonny. The end of Jason trying to ignore and make excuses for who he is, so he can also come to terms with who he is. He is a Q, bc he was a Q he got into an accident and everything he did was a reaction to them. He has been completely influenced by them in who he's become by trying not to be a Q. The end of Jason and Sam, who have slowly morphed into different people trying to be everything for the other.

Whether the ends caused the beginning or if there beginning caused the ends. The point it they have finally started on their journey.


	29. Surprises

**No one needs to read these unless you see your name in bold. They're ramblings and comments back. Not storyline related until the end. **

**_So this was an old AN: _**_Ah Spinelli used courtly love today and I included it in his description of Brenda and Jason's love last week. God I love this show when Liz isn't on, I am so bummed she's returning. I think I can either handle Liz or Sonny. Or actually maybe it's just I can't handle Liz on the screen and while Sonny mildly annoys me, I can't handle any extra annoyance when Liz is on. :-P **Honestly, I feel a psychic connection every once in awhile with TBTB, granted they normally screw up what I'm thinking about, but this one I'll take happily. :-P**_

Comments back to ppl:

**LS815**: Awww thank you for coming out and showing your support for my fics. They truly do boost my moods and always send me to open the Word file (granted half the time I'll just stare at it blankly, but well…) . Why won't the writers give it to us? I mean we've been waiting for years! This is just cruel. Honestly was it asking soooo much for them to just give us a year and then give us an amazing send off for them that could take us through the next decade of being Brazen fans?

**_Salena_**_: Wow, I have no idea how many times I read that review, it was AMAZING! Like OMG top ten. You seriously make it all sound sooo good. Can your reviews turn me into an insane fangirl? (seriously I read that review one too many times for it to be considered sane). _

_Gotta love how frequently Brenda pushes Jason out of his "zone." Ah he loves her "madly" just as she loves him, one day they'll realize that's what those emotions were…Haha wait they are figuring it out even if it is just in fic. _

_(Just noticed most of Jason's time with Brenda is all about him restraining her) – Haha. He likes touching her and she likes having him touch her that's why she does all that stuff. _

_LuSam had super hot vids on YouTube, we should always remember them. _

_"Original Enlightened One" Haha I actually cracked up when I realized that sounded Georgie, I was actually going for the Original, Buddha and trying to make the distinction between those two with original. I can totally see Georgie saying that to Spinelli though, as she tried to nudge him into noticing her. :-P_

_Haha awesome you read my AN. Seriously I always find it impressive when that happens (I never read them :-P) and of course I had a spelling error in it. :-P _

Random AN: So is anyone else staring at the show going there should be a fan vote for storylines. Like really let us pick, I really think we could do it better than them.

So someone explain to me how I managed to delete WWFO. I spent half a day looking for it on my computer. AAAAAAAH! (Btw that file totally had the outline…anyone think I have any recollection of what I was supposed to be writing?)

* * *

**Surprises**

(Midnight EST/9PM PST)

_Waking Up in Vegas:_

They had no concept of time, no concept of anything aside from each other and the bed. Leaving it meant the real world, so they didn't. They ignored the growling in their stomachs, any urge to speak whatsoever except for short words. They stayed in bed drifting in and out of sleep in between bouts of each other.

He had still been mostly asleep when a hand pressing her entire weight onto his chest woke him along with, "Fuckin hell."

"Hmm?" he asked still dazed as she was already flying out of the bed.

"We're supposed to be at PURE in twenty minutes."

He flinched, he'd forgotten they'd come here for Crimson and whatever schmooze fest Brenda had lined up.

"I swear to god Jason," she began to threaten.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed keeping his chuckle to himself. She tended to be a little neurotic about work, he hadn't expected that, though why he hadn't expected her to passionately and completely throw herself into something…

_'You don't understand Jason,' she said staring down at the layouts in front of her on the coffee table. _

_'They're pictures Brenda, what does it matter what order they're in.'_

_'Because it's a business Jason, people have to like the flow of the magazine; the companies that have bought ad space need to like their placement, people are actually depending on me to keep their jobs. And everyone is just waiting for me to fail.'_

_'No one is-'_

_She stared at him in disbelief, 'Oh come on.'_

_'What?'_

_'You, Carly, Julia, hell even Robin. I get it. I get that I didn't graduate college, hell I get that I barely even made it out of high school and that no one thinks I can do anything more than be another pretty face. My entire life-'_

_'What about ASEC?'_

_'Are you finally admitting I did actual work-'_

_'I admitted that awhile ago.'_

_'Only after Suzanne-'_

_'The point is-'_

_'The point is,' she stopped him, 'I get one shot to not fail at this. To show that I'm not just a dumb model.'_

He headed towards his bathroom.

-o-o-o-

He walked into the living room five minutes later still damp with a towel wrapped around his waist, looking for the mini bar. He glared at his choices above the fridge and then inside of it, giving in and just grabbing cookies and chocolate before they passed out after the first drink.

"I swear to god Jason," she threatened as she was applying lotion to her face as he walked into her bathroom.

He held up the bite sized chocolate candy bars.

"If there isn't food there, heads are going to roll," she said snatching them away from him and tearing into the container.

"Trust me they'll get us food," he remarked, knowing they would do anything in Vegas.

"Get dressed," she mumbled through a full mouth.

"You're welcome," he said turning.

"Thank you," she said launching crumbs with the words.

He sat on the bed and stared in the direction of the hanging garment bag without joy as he shoved a cookie in his mouth.

-o-o-o-

He scowled at the vest that Maxie had included in the garment bag and debated shoving it into his carry on and claiming it had been lost somehow. He frowned again as he realized she had packed him jeans, faded black jeans, not that he was complaining, but this seemed like a trick.

"Uh Brenda?"

"What?" she asked with wide eyes as she popped her head out of the bathroom, annoyed with being delayed further.

"I'm wearing jeans?"

"Black books, black jeans, black shirt, then either the jacket or the vest, which is about as likely as a tie, but I told Maxie I would try and the Varatos boots, don't think I'm-"

"Got it," he said raising a hand up before he got lectured again before he did something.

He left the jacket on the bed as he wandered into the living room still snacking on the cookies, realizing he was getting down to the last one, on a hunt for his cell and more snacks. The last cookie was tossed into his mouth and as he was going to toss the container into the garbage did he see the 17 missed calls. He missed the garbage.

He quickly thumbed into his texts, 26 new.

His heart pounded.

He quickly scrolled through them, the words TMZ and marriage repeatedly rang out at him, along with several curses from Carly.

He hit Spinelli's number, barely even aware of his actions.

"Felicitations, the Jackal knew this was not just a bus-"

"How does everyone know Spinelli?" He cut the other man off as he cracked a beer from the mini bar, his appetite suddenly gone.

"Did Stone Cold suddenly forget about the missus celebrity?"

"What are you?"

"TMZ posted the most joyous news of your nuptials around five, shall the Jackal assume that means you have forgone the courtly love in-"

"Spinelli-" Jason snapped.

"Apologies, the Jackal did not mean to intrude."

"I need to go Spinelli," Jason said ending the call before hearing anything else. He physically flinched several times reading the messages as he walked back into the bedroom.

-o-o-o-

* * *

-o-o-o-

(Five PM EST)

_Crimson:_

"Uh, no comment," Lulu slammed the phone down.

"Um what was that?" Maxie said twirling to face her.

Lulu's eyes were wide, she had a single finger up in the air, too in shock to actually finish reacting to the news she had just heard.

"Lulu?" Maxie frowned at her roommate.

"Can you check TMZ?" she managed to creak out.

"Oh god, please we're not ready for anything to go wrong, there's no Kate I have no- OH MY GOD!"

"Oh god it's true." _This was going to be bad, this was going to be very bad!_

"Oh god did Spinelli know about this?"

Spinelli burst through the doors, eyes wide, hair more disheveled than normal, his arms remained extended for a moment.

"Gonna go with no," Lulu drawled.

"Did you-"

"Open right now," Maxie nodded to the side.

"Wow," Lulu said opening the page on her screen, "they're really into it."

"Did you see the elevator footage?" Maxie replied without humor.

"Oh my god, if I hadn't I would now. It's the post right-"

"Oh my god!" Maxie repeated as her eyes widened as she saw the previous post.

Their phones started to ring.

"Oh god what do we do? What do we say?" Lula questioned frantically.

"Don't pick up. I'll call Brenda, I can't believe she didn't warn us."

"Warn, oh my, I must inform Fair Samantha that-"

"Oh god Sam," Maxie cried as she listened to Brenda's voicemail. "Uh hi Brenda," she spoke into her phone, "it's Maxie and Lulu and we're here at the office and yea apparently you got married and decided not to tell us, but well TMZ knows, so pretty much everyone in the free world is going to know in an hour and we'd really like to know what the hell we're supposed to say, so you know call us back as soon as you're done doing whatever it is you're doing."

"Oh god did you really just say that?" Lulu scowled.

"Did you see that picture?" her hand flung out at her monitor as she stood. "I need to go tell Sam do you know where she is?" Maxie asked Spinelli.

"Fairest Samantha-"

"Spinelli," she stopped him, they didn't have time for anything but the basics.

"You're just going to leave?" Lulu exclaimed.

"Just pick up and tell them no comment

-o-o-o-

"Oh hey Maxie," Sam said as she was closing the door to her office, "I'm actually just running out. Kristina's having car trouble, I-"

Maxie debated with herself for a split second, but Kristina was just a teenager, she didn't deserve this, then again neither did she and she was going to make that clear to Jason upon his return. "No she isn't," she pushed the door open to the office.

"What do you mean no she isn't," Sam questioned.

"Just text her and tell her I'm with you, she'll know what I mean," Maxie gestured for her friend to walk back into her office.

"Okay now you're scaring me."

"It's not that scary, I mean it's a bummer, but no one's dead or anything."

"Oh god was Michael arrested again?"

"Oooh and no one's in jail," Maxie perked up considerably, _this really wasn't as bad as she thought._

"Okay so what's going on?" Sam asked as soon as she shot off the quick text.

"Okay there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to rip the band aid right off," her hands flung out with the words.

"Oh god," Sam said in fear.

"Yea that was our reaction too," Maxie nodded. "So Brenda had to go out of town for business and didn't want to take any guards because she thinks they look bad."

"So she took Jason," Sam said in disgust, ever since boathouse, she had seen every manipulation Brenda had pulled since Rome to involve Jason in her life. _How she had believed the other woman innocent for so long…_

"Yea and then they apparently got married."

"I'm sorry, WHAT?"

"Did I forget to mention business was in Las Vegas? TMZ actually called the office for a quote," Maxie's words remained quick, a mix of nerves and attempting to pull the bandaid off quickly.

"How the hell did she talk him into this?"

"We don't know it's Brenda," Maxie accidently defended her boss, "she's actually been avoiding Jason. I mean yea last time it was her-"

"Oh no, this is her idea, even if she didn't ask, she pushed him into this."

_Right, scorned ex girlfriend, _Maxie kept her mouth shut.

"I just need to talk to Jason, he needs to know that we'll get past this, he's felt so guilty-"

"Um Sam," Maxie was well aware of the delusions that took place when you were in love, "Jason didn't look that guilty in the picture."

"What picture?"

"TMZ remember?"

Her phone was back in two hands immediately, the browser was opened, the site pulled up quickly, she frowned at the small picture and quickly zoomed as Maxie remained silent. Their eyes were closed, their mouths were pressed, their bodies perfectly in tune with each other.

"This is because of Lisa or-"

"Sam," Maxie commiserated.

"No," Sam shook her head, "this is just Jason being too noble for his own good."

"He married her Sam," Maxie pointed out.

"You'll see in a few months Jason and I will be fine and it'll be like this never even happened."

-o-o-o-

_Metro Court Lobby:_

"Mom?"

Carly turned to see Michael's worried expression, "Oh god what happened? School? That little tramp you were, I knew you were too good for her."

He frowned at his mother, "You don't like-" then waved it off, they'd deal with that later. "This has nothing to do with me."

"What did your father do now?"

"Nothing to do with Dad either."

She frowned, "Morgan didn't do anything right?" _Seemed unlikely, but she had to try._

"Maybe we should go somewhere private," Michael suggested.

"Maybe you should tell me right now," her hands went to her hips as she got defensive.

"Do you want to sit?" Michael's brow narrowed in worry. He couldn't believe Jason had left him to deal with this.

"Talk now," she said as her eyes bore into him.

"Apparently Jason and Brenda got married in Vegas."

She was silent for a beat then, "WHAT?"

The entire lobby turned.

"I told you we should have gone somewhere private," he looked sheepishly around the room.

"Ignore them," she waved a hand backward. "Did Jason call you?"

"Uh no Kristina, this," he held out a folded piece of paper, "was up on TMZ."

She silently fumed as she opened the page. "I'm going to kill her," she quietly threatened, "and then I am going to beat the hell out of Jason with one of those ridiculous boots she's always wearing."

"Mom, Jason's a grown man if he decided to marry Brenda then I'm sure-"

"There is no good reason for this," she waved the picture.

-o-o-o-

_The Quartermaines:_

"Thanks," Alice said over the phone, "I'll let him know."

"What are you letting me know?" Edward asked looking over papers from ELQ.

"Reporters are apparently calling the office asking for the family's comment on Jason and Brenda getting married in Las Vegas."

He paused for a moment, "About time Brenda's not getting any younger and with Jason's-"

Alice frowned, "I thought you were angry at Brenda for living at the penthouse."

"Well of course," Edward said putting down his pen, "it's not the life I'd wish for either of them, but if this family has a chance at surviving, it'll be their children mark my words. Did I ever tell you how smart Jason was?"

"But you're always telling her to leave him?"

"Reverse psychology Alice. Look at how long she was involved with Corinthos when we all told her not to."

"But-"

"You know Lila always said they'd have the most beautiful children. Not that I'd be biased of course," he raised a hand in defense of his statement.

"Biased? You? Of course not," Alice kept her smile hidden.

-o-o-o-

* * *

-o-o-o-

(Midnight EST/9PM PST)

_Back to Reality (aka Vegas):_

"You might want to sit down," Jason said as Brenda fumbled with a pair of silver heels, her ass hanging out of the short black dress as she bent. He wondered if he could talk her into leggings.

"I haven't killed myself yet getting dressed," she rolled her eyes. _Maybe there had been a few bad stumbles…_

"That's a whole different issue Brenda, sit down or at least stop doing that," he could see her perfectly, crashing into the closet and their bags as she as balanced on only one shoe.

"We really don't have time for a morning after talk," she said as soon as she straightened herself up.

He didn't bother beating around the bush, "TMZ posted our marriage."

She stared blankly at him, "That was quick."

"You expected this?"

"Isn't that why we got married?" She returned to dressing unfazed.

"Right," Jason responded, "I'll be in the living room."

"Be out in a second," she nodded as she rifled through her bag, letting out a quiet sigh and closing her eyes as he left the room.

* * *

**Okay this chapter (with its common theme of surprises) is going to be split in two because most of it has been written for AGES and frequently I just need to post and clear out the cobwebs. I had issues with the order of this chapter especially (time line and flow were at odds). Hence the jump back in time. **

**Thanks for reading guys and the seriously KILLER reviews for the last chapter. **


	30. Who Cares

**NOT A CONTINUATION OF SURPRISE. One shot fic that stands on its own and isn't connected to anything.**

Reason: I needed some Brazen hope. I had Marry You by Bruno Mars (okay sung by the Glee kids in my head) stuck in my head. Brazen with a bounce in my head basically.

**Review Comments: **So basically we all believe TPTB are screwing us over again with Brazen. Can we start a letter writing campaign to just get one really good dream out of one of them? Just something to get us through the next decade.

**Setting**: Post S&B wedding blowup. Post Jason obsessively worrying and being involved with the after effects leading to a major blowup and breakup with Sam. Post Brenda fleeing and Jason following. Brazen trapped in a house as a storm creates havoc outside.

* * *

_Who Cares…_

Their lives had exploded around them in a spectacular fashion.

Everything she had dreamed of since she was 19…

Everything that had comforted him for the past six years…

It crashed and burned around them.

It was comical that she'd had any faith left in life, any faith that things would actually work out.

Love wasn't unconditional, not for her. She tore it down and not just in her own relationships as was proved by Jason.

They were alone together.

More failed relationships.

More putting everything out there and having all of their hopes and dreams thrown back into their faces.

Exact same place they had been at 17.

She burst out laughing.

Jason looked over from his melancholy stance near the window, looking out. Even the tropical island he had followed her to was depressed, the rain poured down. "What's so funny?" he worriedly questioned. She had been doing shots on her own, he was drinking a stiff double of the island's local rum; he hoped she was just drunk.

She doubled over laughing.

He walked over.

She was shaking her head.

He wondered if she was cracking up _again_. "Brenda…"

"Oh god," a hand went to her chest, "how pathetic are we?"

He frowned.

"Like seriously, we were 17 and Karen and Jagger loved each other and not us," she was gasping for air.

He hated when she did that. Reminded him, he had a life, he had existed before he had existed.

"And then Sonny and then Sonny again and then Jax and Sonny again. It's the same thing over and over and you-" she took in a deep breath in the middle of her laughing words, "the exact same. Karen, Robin, Carly, Courtney, Sam, Liz, Sam-" she shook her head.

"How is that funny?"

"It's so pathetic that I think if I cry about it, I won't be able to stop."

"Great, you should stop drinking," he moved to take away the brown bottle.

"Oh no no no," she clutched the bottle to her chest, "we need this. Our lives suck. We've been after the same thing from the moment we became teenagers and it is **never** going to happen."

"So you're going to become an alcoholic?"

"You need another drink," she nodded at him. "This blows and we need to forget it until it stops hurting."

"I don't think it works like that."

She was surprisingly quick in her inebriated state and rum splashed over his hand as she managed to refill his glass before he could stop her.

"We need music," she bounded across the room, "our lives are not over because they left us." She turned up the music; it was loud and pop and made Jason want to gouge out his ear drums, "We are richer and hotter than them." Her hand waved, "Well you're richer and I'm hotter. They can be miserable on their own. We're fine."

"Oh god," Jason muttered to himself and swallowed half the glass in one gulp.

"Screw God. Where the fuck has he been our entire lives?" She threw back a shot.

"Maybe you should slow down," Jason suggested. He probably shouldn't have followed her, making it in just before the storm started, trapping them in the house for the past several hours.

"Fuck it, I'm old. We're old. Michael's going to prommmm," _they had just gone to prom._

"So is this because you feel old?"

"It's because I want to feel," she jumped up on the couch. He put his drink down and moved towards her. "I did everything to stop feeling and I remember why, it hurts. But oh god Jason, it felt so good. When was the last time you just let yourself feel?"

"Maybe you should come down," he waved a hand at her, he was pretty sure an ambulance wouldn't be able to reach them in the storm.

"Maybe you should come up," she smirked.

He went to grab her and she hopped up on the back and then onto the table behind it. "Brenda," he ordered.

"You know we used to have fun," she goaded. "You got boring."

"I'm sorry I've been busy trying to keep you alive."

"Did Sam know you liked to fight?" her head tilted.

"I don't-"

She scoffed loudly.

"Will you just come down," he attempted again.

"Drink more," she ordered as she took a swig from the bottle.

He walked away and decided she could crack open her head if she wanted to. He picked up his glass and took another sip.

"You were so stuffy with her. You used to dance with Robin. Bickered with me. Don't you remember what it felt like to be alive?"

"You remember enough for the both of us," another sip.

"I had it right you know. It was the love thing. We were good without love."

"We were alright," he admitted it again just as he had then. They hadn't been as bad as he expected, she hadn't been as unbearable as he had expected.

"We were," she nodded almost mildly serious. "And we were hot. And we fought like cats and dogs, can you imagine how good the sex would have been?"

His eyes widened, _had she just…_ Another sip.

"Why didn't we ever have sex?"

He finished the glass.

"Don't you ever," she stepped down onto the couch, "just want to feel without caring?"

It was a simple question with a simple answer. _Yes._

He strode towards her, the music beat behind him. She didn't look shocked, she kept her gaze focused and slightly taunting.

His arm went around her waist and before she could react he spun her off the couch. He had her in a dip the moment her feet hit the floor and by the time she came up she was laughing again as he smiled. They didn't talk as they danced, he twirled, she pushed, they laughed. A lot. And drank some more.

By the time they collapsed onto the couch together they were breathless. She was empowered and brazen from their minutes of recklessness. She straddled him, remaining above, rather than sitting.

"Maybe that was all we ever needed. We keep looking for the fairy tale. Maybe we just need to feel. Fuck love and just feel."

His hands went to her waist and he pulled her down. Letting the chemistry between them finally run its course.

-o-o-o-

They fucked and they drank as the night wore on and as the rain continued its assault on the tropical island, she had expected to spend her honeymoon on. They'd both always known what the sex would be like, they knew it would be mind-blowing, they were too combative for anything else. It didn't disappoint.

He was pretty sure the entire house was in shambles. Glass breaking had been the reason they left the living room. The bed only managed to retain one pillow and he'd pulled the comforter off the floor at some point, it would be sure to be falling again soon. He had almost broken his neck on her toiletries that had found a new home on the bathroom floor, when the vanity had called to Brenda, he hadn't been in a bathroom with that many mirrors since Vegas. The kitchen, well, he hadn't started the food fight.

She was right. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so alive, the last time he had gotten to feel careless, without the burden of his family, friends or the business weighing down on him.

"You look serious," she frowned down at him. She should have been tired and part of her was, they had barely slept and the alcohol had been tapering off.

He flipped her over.

She let out a burst of laughter, then a gasp as he proved to her just how serious he was.

"Marry me," dawn was breaking outside, along with the storm, so she could fully see the familiar face she could spot anywhere, blue eyes focused.

She was silent for only a moment, "Okay."

He was done, he was tired. Tired of always trying to be more and failing. Tired of the quiet resentments of a life he couldn't offer. No expectations just life. Living life instead of existing within it.

He let himself live in the moment and just feel. He would face the repercussions later, for right now he was happy.

-o-o-o-

"Oh god, they've been kidnapped," Carly surveyed the rented house, that now had a broken window when they hadn't responded to the knock and Carly wasn't complacent with Jax trying to find an open window or door and sped up the process by creating her own.

Jax frowned at the scene. He'd come down to rescue Brenda from Carly, and possibly Brenda from herself. Jason certainly wouldn't be able to handle an emotionally distraught Brenda. The last time Sonny had left Brenda at the altar and Jason had tried to take charge Brenda ended up in the hospital.

"We've got to call Sonny-" she pulled out her phone.

Jax walked into the house with the line in between his eyes deepening, seeing a spot of color near the couch. "Carly," he called out.

She turned still debating calling her ex or Spinelli, to see a purple thong pinched in between his fingers. "No," she refused to accept that.

Jax sighed, Brenda had done a lot of dumb things because of Sonny, but Jason… He released the thong.

"They didn't, they couldn't," she shook her head.

Jax peaked into the bedroom, "They did."

Her head shook again.

"I can't believe Jason would take advantage of someone as vulnerable as Brenda."

"Jason take advantage of Brenda?" Carly's eyes went wide. "Have you met Brenda?"

"I always thought Jason was at least a decent fellow when it came to this-"

"No don't call Jason's decency into this, Jason is the most-"

Jax raised a finger, "Did you hear that?"

"I'm going to kill her," Carly rushed towards the door.

"Jason this is not how you get carried over the threshold-" greeted them as they got the door open. Jason was in tan cargo shorts, a white tee shirt and leather flip flops. Brenda had on blue shorts, a white tank, and one flip flop and was slung over Jason's shoulder.

"C-"

"You did not marry her," Carly screeched.

"Please tell me I banged my head and Carly isn't actually here," Brenda asked going still, happy to keep her vision obscured by Jason's back.

"Carly and Jax," Jason said with obvious annoyance as he continued walking forward, only putting Brenda down once they passed the threshold of the house, forcing Carly and Jax to step to the side.

"You married him?" the sadness was evident in Jax's voice; the surprise didn't allow him any time to hide it.

Her eyes mirrored his sadness, for letting him down again. "Ja-"

"Her, her of all people," Carly was close to screaming at Jason.

"How is my love life any of-"

"Love," Carly made silent gagging motions, "love. You, Brenda-I'm going to be sick. I'm actually going to be sick."

"Br-" Jax tried to begin again.

"Have you lost your mind?" Carly blocked all conversations once more. "This is Brenda. How long do you think it's going to be before Sonny forgives her and she goes running back to him?"

"Isn't that what you do Carly?" Brenda snapped.

"Carly this isn't any of your business," Jason stood his ground.

"I can't believe you took advantage of Brenda like this Jason," Jax finally broke into the conversation.

"Took," Brenda's eyes narrowed, "I'm not a silly little girl anymore Jax."

"You are upset," Jax said placing his hands on her arms, "the judge will be able to see you weren't in your right mind. We'll get your things, the plane should be ready to go soon-"

"And where exactly am I going?"

"Obviously home to Port Charles, I'll call my lawyer on the plane and-"

"We just got married-"

"That's a good point, we could probably bribe someone down at the office to not file-"

"We're staying married Jax," Jason interrupted, finishing Brenda's point.

"You can't be serious," Carly continued to stare at Jason in shock.

"You're upset," Jax said looking at Brenda.

"I wasn't up until five minutes ago."

"This is Jason-" Jax pointed at Jason, who frowned at him.

"Jason?" Carly scoffed at Jax, "Have you met Brenda, if anyone's getting the short end of the-"

"Brenda and I are very clear on who the other is-"

"We've known each other longer than we've known you two," Brenda had her arms crossed and was frowning, as she added on to Jason's claim. _Concern was nice, but having her mental judgment called into question was not. They were still married to each other, they deserved the psych eval, not her and Jason._

"Brenda," Jax paused as she glared at him, "you can't marry Jason to get back at Sonny."

Carly butt in, "Yea I don't think adding Jason in after Dante is really the-"

"Carly," Jason snapped.

"This isn't about Sonny," Brenda offered up.

"Then what's it about?" Jax's questioned softly, ready to sweep her off for whatever treatment she needed.

"I'm tired or trying to be everything I'm not. Of lying. Of waiting for everything to fall apart. I just want to be myself. I want to be happy."

"Br-"

"I tried this all the other ways Jax. This is what we need, at least now. Can you just respect that even if you don't agree with it?"

Her eyes were large and brown; they were begging him for the respect he hadn't given her in the past. He had pushed her the last time; he had rushed her the first time. "Fine," he haltingly agreed.

"Fine," Carly screeched yet again. "Noooo," she shook her head, "no, no, not fine."

"Ca-"

"What about Sam?" Carly definitely still didn't trust Sam entirely, she never would again, but she was still the better option.

"Sam's always going to want a family."

"No Sam is willing to-"

"Not have a family for me?" Jason finished for her.

Carly knew resentments, she knew how the festered, she knew what it was like to give everything up for a man.

"Go home Carly, Brenda and I will be back in a few days."

"You want me to just leave you here with-"

"Carly," Jax placed a hand on her arm, "you can fight with them back in Port Charles. Let them have their honeymoon."

"J-"

"It's just a few days with everything that's been going on, they deserve it."

He turned her away and left the couple to their honeymoon. Unconditional love, he had finally learned how to. Brenda deserved her honeymoon.

-o-o-o-

"We need to leave the country," Michael's eyes were wide with panic as he walked near the Nurse's Station.

"Come on Michael don't you think that's overreacting a bit much?"

"Are you kidding?"

"I really don't like what I'm hearing. What happened?" Dante asked walking up to his brother and sister, who froze. _Definitely caught in the act._

"Uh. Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Really?" He crossed his arms.

"Uh," Kristina stammered.

"I can't make it better, if you don't tell me."

"You cannot," Michael's head swayed slowly, "make this better."

"Yea and it's not us anyway. We didn't do anything," Kristina added.

"Well then who did do something. Come on guys you can tell me."

"You really don't want to know," Michael tried to dissuade his brother.

"Mike-"

"Do you really want to know?" Kristina cut him off.

"Yes and sometime this century would be nice."

"Dad has someone to be more mad at then you," she nodded. Her dad, her sister, Carly. Her mother would probably do backflips though.

"What happened?" Dante frowned. Sonny was still refusing to talk to him after the whole Brenda love, baby disclosure at the wedding.

"Jason and Brenda got married."

"WHAT?" Liz exclaimed.

The teens turned to her as Dante was frozen in shock.

"We probably weren't supposed to be telling people," Michael spoke to his sister.

"As long as I don't have to tell Sam, I don't care," she shook her head again, peeved at Jason for being such a douche.

"Uh," Dante shook his head as the words got stuck, "uh why did they get married this time."

"Cause they wanted to?" Michael suggested.

"No I mean, is this…They got married last time so she wouldn't end up with Sonny or Jax right. So I mean?"

"Honestly man," Michael frowned at his brother, "my mom made it sound like they got married for the sex."

Dante head shook, "Brenda and Jason?"

"Yea I wouldn't think about it, if I were you."

"Like I can get the image out of my brain," Dante muttered to himself.

-o-o-o-

It was all the town talked about for the first two weeks. Even worse everyone talked to them about it.

_By the time Jason had dropped Brenda at the penthouse and gotten over to Sonny's he had been drunk for a day straight according to Max and was barely sleeping._

_'She was everything to me,' Sonny finally spoke in despair after his tirade._

_'Then you shouldn't have let her go Sonny.'_

_'My son.'_

_'Alexis and Sam.'_

_'That's dif-' he shook his head as he was about to use the same excuse Brenda had given him, he hadn't known, 'I wouldn't have lied.'_

_Jason didn't believe that for a minute._

_'How could you marry her?'_

_'Why not?' Jason shrugged._

_-o-_

_'You sleep with my son and then you marry my best friend?' Sonny screamed at her hours later. _

_'Don't Sonny.'_

_'No,' he shook his head and yanked her arm, pulling her towards him, 'tell me. I deserve the truth. What did you flush away our entire life for?'_

_'Someone I can be honest with,' she screamed back at him. She had tried so hard to be perfect for Sonny, to be everything he wanted, everything she once was; he ignored it all. 'He knows my worst, every miserable part of me and he has NEVER just tossed me to the side, even when I was your mess to clean up, he was the one that was there.' She yanked her arm free, 'I am sick of trying to be everything that I'm not. I can be a bitch with him, I can have an attitude; I can tell him when he's an idiot. Because things like shooting your son, even when you didn't know he was your son because he was a **cop**. A cop, Sonny. Who the hell do you think you are? Like 300 million people, think laws are a good idea and you shoot someone trying to enforce them. Who made you king? That was wrong. It was more than wrong, but I held your hand and I listened and I comforted-' _

_The door flung open and it was Jason who had gotten a call from Max that Sonny was at his place._

_'What are you doing here Sonny?'_

_'I'm leaving,' Sonny shook his head in disgust._

_Leaving Brenda to cry in Jason's arms. _

Eventually the chatter faded, but they kept a careful watch on them waiting for the first signs of a breakup. Of course, no one had been able to identify what that would look like in Brenda and Jason. Monica had finally suggested it would be when they were nice to each other for an extended period of time. Most people preferred to listen to them bicker and look for any clues there that the end was near.

Someone had eventually passed along Spinelli's complaint to Robin that they fucked like rabbits, which everyone kept on the lookout for. They only had an overheard conversation that no one knew who overheard and Coleman's claims of having seen them go at in when Jason had to come pick up Brenda after a long girls' night at Jake's. Spinelli's eventual move into an apartment with Lulu after Maxie decided to move in with Matt, confirmed their suspicions that rumor was correct. _There had to be a payoff for all that fighting._

Brenda's jealousy was well documented. Brenda was always quick to claim Jason as her husband when an attractive woman came near. Some claimed that Jason always stood a little closer to Brenda when Jax was near, some guessed that was just in case Carly came by and tried to take a swing at her. It did lead to the most insight into their marriage though, the day Brenda snapped about how some guy was obviously hitting on her and Jason had done nothing and she was debating if he even cared.

_'Did I have a reason to be worried?' he asked well aware of the eyes and ears on him; his voice was calm. _

_'No, of course not.'_

_'Then why do I care who you talk to?'_

_'You're my husband,' she continued the circular logic._

_'And I trust you not to cheat.'_

She had harrumphed and stormed off. Jason had followed. It had been the most gossip they'd given the town since their marriage.

So the town waited and waited for anything resembling a sign, but the fights never lasted. They might be fighting about the same subject for weeks, but there were always lulls of normalcy before the topic would crop up again.

It was at Nikolas and Brook's wedding, which Jason had no choice but to attend, despite the fact that she was his cousin, since she was still his wife's goddaughter. Jason took the glass of champagne out of his wife's hand and led her to the dance floor. Pop music played since Brook had insisted on a band, refusing to allow the stuffiness of the Cassadine traditions to spoil her wedding. Brenda was spun out by her husband as they both laughed.

_Is it the look in your eyes,  
Or is it this dancing juice?  
Who cares baby,  
I think I wanna marry you._

The town stopped watching soon after that. Many claimed it was the watched pot phenomenon, which was the only reason they stopped. They would hear about it eventually, they were sure. Brenda and Jason, happily married… Jason, enforcer for Sonny Corinthos and Brenda Barrett, model and all around spoiled princess, happily married? Never. It was a front they swore.

Jason and Brenda didn't care though. Their lives continued on as normal, screaming, laughing, comforting, only now everyone knew to knock before they entered.

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AN: Okay this was lame. But I seriously needed something totally lighthearted. Thanks for reading guys!


	31. Two Sides of the Same Coin

_AN: My stories are all repeats of each other, I am totally aware of this. I think it's just the reoccurring theme of loss and missed opportunities that I associate with Jason. _

_Ever just have something that needs to be written, I was writing "Hindsight" (another one shot post wedding fic) and there was just this ghost thing going on in my head and it wasn't for "The Last Goodbye," which has a ghostly Alan and Jason Q (really my documents section is crowded). Oddly enough you can smoosh both stories together and get this ITTY BITTY one shot, I will however eventually subject you guys to reading both of those others in the future. :-P _

_So again, my fics are all repeats, I own up to it. I keep seeking closure because I have yet to get it from GH. _

**Reviews for Who Cares:**

Aww, you folks lie, but I don't really mind. You make me feel all warm and snuggly.

**Setting:** Post non-wedding, post Brenda finally being successfully kidnapped by the Balkan, post Jason getting hurt during her rescue.

**Thanks for reading. It's short, re-warning you now. **

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**Two Sides of the Same Coin**

"You're-" Jason Morgan frowned seeing the young man sitting beside Brenda in the hospital waiting room.

"Jason Quartermaine," the young man nodded, his hand covered Brenda's, her cheeks still tear stained, eyes blood shot.

"Does that mean I'm-"

"Not yet," he shook his head, still looking at Brenda.

"Am I going to?"

Jason Quartermaine shook his head, "I don't know."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm always here," he shook his head slightly.

"Always?"

"Can't quite leave, I'm not really dead, just…" he shrugged, "not fully attached."

"All those times when," _when something Quartermaine had slipped out._

He shrugged again, "I don't know what's you and what's me. Unless you've heard yelling in your ear, then that was me."

"I thought that was Brenda."

The young man smiled, forever frozen in a white shirt and black jacket, un-aging. "There are times when I just want to hold them so badly," he was once more focused on her, "when I just want to sit with them. You're always so far from them. I can never touch them; I try to reach them, but…" He shook his head again, "I can get these glimpses of them when they're far, but I can never hold on. Sometimes they can pull me to them," he smiled suddenly. "I watched the sun rise with Brenda in Moscow because she remembered I always wanted to go. It was coming up over a monastery. I forgot for a minute I was gone, until I tried to hold her hand."

"I'm sorry," he apologized to the man whose life he had taken over.

He shook his head, "I had to try to save him." He looked up at Jason Morgan, "It wouldn't be worth anything if you just stood to the side and watch them hurt."

"He-"

"My brother," the young man shook his head vehemently, effectively closing that discussion before it began.

The tears started again suddenly from Brenda and she crumpled forward, pushing them away with the backs of her hands.

Jason Quartermaine went forward with her, his hands trying to brush away the tears. "I just want to be able to hold her and tell her it's okay. She's hurting all the time and I can't touch her."

There it was that desperate need to keep her safe explained. "You-"

"That's the funny thing, once you stop living your life, you can actually see it." He shook his head slowly, "She still sees me; she still feels me. I'm just an occasional thought to most people, but Brenda, she hasn't let go of me."

"I've noticed," Jason Morgan rolled his eyes.

The young man laughed suddenly, "Of course even with me yelling at her to run far away from Sonny every night-"

"She's not exactly a good listener."

The young man laughed again; then once more grew reflective. "Every once in awhile, I think I fall asleep with her, I think I dream. It's been so long, I think I'd forgotten what a dream was." Jason Quartermaine, shook his head bemused by the dream, "We made snowmen at the beach. We just danced in another, the kind of dancing where you don't really move, it's just an excuse to hold her."

Jason Morgan felt his heart twist for the young man, barely older than Michael.

"I want her to leave," he said suddenly. He shot away from Brenda and she shot back and looked up worried.

"But-"

"I want her to go far away from here. I don't want her to die here. You send her away again; you don't dial that number even when you pick up the phone. You put it down always. Keep her things, but send her away. She can even marry Jax this time as long as they go away. She can be happy, I know she can." He shook his head, "You stay away from her. You let her go."

Jason Morgan looked at the other man in shock.

"You're still me, I still know. Sometimes I can't tell if what I'm feeling comes from you or me, but she deserves better."

Jason Morgan opened his mouth once more.

"That nagging in your gut that's always told you to stay away, even when she's so close, even when she understands you in a way no one else ever will, when you feel yourself come alive, you stay away."

"I-" the older man shook his head once more.

"You make her go away or there won't be that gut feeling tell you to duck, warning you that someone is coming up from behind. I'm ready to move on, but I don't think you are."

"She loves Port Charles," Jason Morgan pointed out.

"I love her more; I won't let her destroy herself. Not for you."

"It should be her-"

Jason Quartermaine shook his head. "Sonny's over. The Balkan is dead. She's safe, let her go."

"She hasn't been happy," Jason Morgan suddenly yelled as he was confronted with the thought of losing Brenda, that nagging had a true voice now, it made it easier to ignore it, it wasn't him.

"Her son died," Jason Quartermaine yelled back, "she blames herself. Send Dante with her, give them another chance. She can be happy without you, without us."

"You-"

"She was happy," Jason Quartermaine pleaded, "it was a boy. She had the ultrasound. _Jason_ because he healed her. He was fixing everything that had been broken. She wanted to be great for him. She wanted to be someone he could be proud of. She wanted to do something to fix his world." The young man shook his head slowly, "And she lost him."

Jason Morgan sorrowfully bowed his head.

"You cannot walk away from them," Jason Quartermaine launced at him as his hand flung out to the rest of the waiting room, Carly, Michael and Morgan, Sam with Kristin, Liz peaking in for updates.

_He couldn't. _Then a thought came to him, "I could have," he shook his head slightly, "before Michael, I could have."

The young man stiffened. "She was with Jax, Sonny," he pointed out.

"No that," Jason Morgan shook his head trying to sort through it. "That nagging was you."

"How could I?" Jason Quartermaine woefully asked, "How could I just stand by and let you be everything to her? She turned me down, but you…you…" Jason sighed and looked up at the hospital lights, "I was angry because I was gone and she would have fallen for you." Blue eyes looked back down to their mirror image, "I was selfish and hurt and we both have to pay for it."

"But she can call you across the globe?" She had reacted to Jason Quartermaine's sudden outburst, she still looked at Jason Morgan and saw traces of Jason Quartermaine, and she pulled him into her dreams.

"I was young. Everything's in the moment. I didn't realize we just needed more time."

"But I have to-"

"You made your decision, I could never scream loud enough to stop you from pulling the trigger. You destroyed your chance, I just kept her safe," Jason Quartermaine's hand once more covered her own.

Jason Morgan closed his eyes once more in pain.

"I think you're going to be fine," the young man softly commented.

Jason opened his eyes to see his mother and Robin walking in looking relieved.

"You should go. Wake up."

Brenda was once more crumpled forward and breathing into her hands in relief.

"Aren't you coming?" Jason was about to turn to go in search of his body.

"I just want to stay with her a little longer."

"We can-"

"We let her go," Jason Quartermaine nodded, "we let her have that family. We'll see her again one day."

Jason Morgan nodded slowly, studying the image before him for another moment. Jason Quartermaine tilted into Brenda, a finger tracing along her jaw, the young man trying to cement her image in his mind. "I love you," he heard whispered as he turned, "you're going to be happy again one day." Jason Morgan closed his eyes and let himself be pulled back into his body.

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**Thanks for reading!**

My comments:

Jason Q wasn't perfect. He was also a kid. I like him being jealous, being angry. Okay and the ghost thing just kind of fits for me for why Jason Morgan always has his head up his… :-P


	32. Family Man

OLD AN (The why you guys lost me for awhile AN, please feel free to skip): This was started well before Xmas. RL however and a bad keyboard, the m went the way of the r (and l and w were getting pretty unreliable and I can't type on the weird ergonomic keyboard I have as a backup, probably because keyboards require a desk and I'm a strictly lap/bed person :-P) stopped this from coming out. We are not discussing the recent events, we are not talking about them AT ALL**. My Brazen world is frozen, she is hugging Jason after a nightmare that is IT. So yea no Sonny ::shudder:: events or even that whole Alexander shooting (Honestly I just don't care).** My computer savvy friend thankfully was able to replace the keyboard last week, we'd been trying to find a mutual free time that didn't involve a massive snow storm, since before Xmas. So if you're curious as to why updates haven't been happening it's 2 serious colds (I'm not allowed to write when I'm sick, I just kill people off), playing catch up on school work after the colds, the final crunch of the semester (Um bite me grad school) and it was topped off by a broken keyboard. Oh and my cat died during the final crunch (that goes into the sick category for not posting). Seriously fall sucked! Yay 2011! Well minus the poo poo writers on GH, GH is now frozen in early fall 2010 in my mind :-P (Oh and that little explanation completely tied into why I have a review 101 for updates written).

New AN: Yep that was my AN from awhile ago, you're lucky you guys aren't being forced to read my review 101...Grrr "reviews" that make me angry (A certain fic is at the end of the update list because of one). I've honestly been in a fantasy mood the past month and a half, no idea why, but more fantasy Brazen for you guys, sensible reality based later. :-P

**Things to know for the fic: The bold words apply from above. Jason and Brenda are frozen like a month before Xmas, Sonny and Brenda are not engaged, but they are involved once more.**

**Thanks for the reviews on the last few Path to pieces, you guys are keeping me warm when I'm surrounded by ALL THIS ICE! I am sooo over winter. **

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**Family Man**

The old woman paused as she exited the grocery store causing Jason to stop abruptly behind her. She groaned seeing the snow and then suddenly realized there had been someone behind her; she turned with a smile, "Sorry."

He got a good look at her, light skinned African American, her long gray hair was pulled back, she was old, probably as old as Edward, _only her eyes held wisdom._ "Not a problem."

"You think they'd put down salt," she nodded at the snow covered parking lot; it had just started to stick.

He noticed she was carrying her two bags and she had been moving slowly out the exit. "Can I help you to your car?" The words felt unnatural on his lips, he was used to being able to say things directly.

"Why aren't you a kind young man," she smiled brightly. "I'm too afraid of a broken hip to even let you rethink that. Thank you."

"It's no problem." He took her bags and she took his arm. She directed him to an older model sedan, which despite its age looked to be in good condition.

"Picking up last minute things for dinner or tomorrow?"

It was Christmas Eve, his plans for tomorrow involved Chinese food take out and listening to Brenda complain, unless she changed her mind about attending the Quartermaines' dinner and left him in peace. Spinelli and Sam would be at Alexis' where Sam was right now having a sleepover with her sisters so they could open gifts at the crack of dawn. "

"Just normal things."

"No big plans?"

"No," his answer was simple and he was annoyed by having to admit that. He suddenly wondered if Brenda was going over to Sonny's, she hadn't mentioned it, but that wasn't uncommon.

"Not seeing your family?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't have much family left."

"Well that's more the reason to spend time with them. I bet they'd love to see you."

He grunted.

"Verbose aren't we?"

"Do I know you?" Jason suddenly questioned. She looked familiar, a lot of people in town looked familiar. _She was old, maybe the hospital?_

"You do look familiar, I'm sure we've run into each other before. This is my car," she pulled out her keys. "Thank you for all your help," she smiled again as he loaded her bags into the trunk.

"No problem," he said closing the trunk. He began walking her to her door.

"Now I want you to do one more thing for me young man. I want you to think if you really want to be alone tomorrow. We close our eyes to go sleep and sometimes never wake up. Think about that before you pass judgment on tomorrow. The saddest thing we can do with our lives is have regrets."

"Fine," he promised her as he helped her into the car. "Drive carefully."

"You too young man and have a good Christmas, no matter what you decide on."

-o-o-o-

"It's almost here!" A child's voice squealed right before Jason's body was hit with the massive weight of said child landing on him. His eyes flew open to see a mess of dirty blond curls nearly concealing bright blue eyes, chubby cheeks and cherubic lips, halting his urge to grab his gun.

"No," was the groan that emerged from next to him, he turned but the person was blocked by a pillow going over her head.

"Aren't you excited Daddy?" the little girl bounced on his chest, she couldn't be older than five.

"Uh-"

"Mommy," she called out.

"Five more minutes," came from under the pillow.

"Brenda," Jason questioned with a frown, _was that __r__eally he__r__ voice that went with the da__r__k hai__r__ peaking out? _

"Five more minutes," she repeated.

"I want pancakes!" the little girl declared with excitement.

"No," Brenda answered, still covered by a pillow.

"It's Christmas," the little girl pointed out.

Brenda pulled the pillow off of her head, "It's Christmas Eve."

"Close enough."

"Psht."

"Cookie would make me pancakes," the little girl argued still from her spot on Jason's chest.

"Yea well you got sucky parents so deal, we don't have a cook."

"Daddy'll make me pancakes," she batted her lashes at him, "right?"

He didn't know who daddy was, but he would.

"No he won't because Daddy and Mommy are a united front and it's Daddy's turn to change Nate's diaper."

"He can do both."

"No he can't, we have a list of things to do today and you had a bath last night so you're not going near syrup."

"Daddy," she whined down at him. The blue eyes bore down, lashes batted at him, lips pouted.

"Brenda?"

Brenda sighed loudly, "Some help you are. No pancakes, Mommy is mean and horrible, and Daddy is a pushover so everyone up. And what did you do to your hair? Didn't I spend a half hour putting curlers in it?"

"They were scratchy."

"But we have to take pictures," Brenda's voiced suddenly hinged on desperation as all cylinders were suddenly firing.

"So?"

"So," Brenda groaned. "Okay seriously everyone up and out of bed. You're going to have to eat while I do your hair Ellie. No actually you can't do that because then you're going to end up covered in milk because you always squirm. If I wash your hair-"

"I had a bath last night!"

"Yes and last night you wanted curls and now you have a fro-"

"I need curls, I can't be Shirley without the curls."

"Papa loves you with or without curls."

"I want curls," she stubbornly glared at her mother.

"Then you should have left the curlers in-" Brenda pointed out.

"Is this really necessary?" Jason suddenly questioned since he was trapped in a frighteningly realistic dream and the fighting was starting to get annoying.

Two sets of eyes turned on him in a glare.

"Diaper," he said suddenly scared and lifted the little girl off of him as he got up.

-o-o-o-

He left his room and grimaced when he looked down and saw a wedding band. He quickly looked up and headed down the hallway, the door to Brenda's room was open, the walls and most of the furniture were still the same only the bed had been replaced with a kid's and toys seemed to be exploding out of every corner.

The door to the weight room was open a crack, Jason pushed it the rest of the way to discover a pale yellow room filled with white furniture, minimalistic in design, but soothing.

He walked over to the crib, the little boy, he assumed was Nate, was still laying down, a pacifier in his mouth and absently playing with a beat up white rabbit, not quite awake yet. The blue eyes instantly brightened as he saw Jason above him. He made a series of sounds as he moved from laying down to struggling to quickly get up so he could reach Jason. His arms lifted up and Jason was quick to pick him up. "Good morning," Jason stiffly informed the boy, who squirmed uncomfortably when he wasn't quickly cuddled. "Weirdest dream ever," Jason muttered under his breath as he turned off the baby monitor.

"You're too cute to be a nightmare," Jason informed the boy that had a mess of light brown hair rivaling his sister's and had maneuvered his way closer and was grabbing at Jason's mouth. "Then again, I'm," he looked at his hand again, "married to Brenda. I thought it was Christmas not April Fools."

"Is Christmas over yet?" Brenda asked walking into the room moments later. "Why are you no help this morning?" She wrapped her arms around him and collapsed into his chest, "Most handsome men ever, morning gorgeous," she kissed Nate. "The holidays were so much nicer before she learned the word no. Nate, can it please not be your favorite word as well." He shook his head at her. Brenda whimpered.

Jason chuckled.

"K diaper." She kissed Nate again. "Then can you give him a bath after breakfast?" She looked up at Jason, "And figure out how to make his hair go down? Brushing would probably help. I probably didn't do that yesterday, god I love hats. Maybe Ellie can just wear her kitty hat…" She frowned. "I'm going to go pour cereal, hurry up. We're supposed to be out of the house by 10."

-o-o-o-

"Daddy," Ellie sweetly called out as she walked into the room.

"Yea?"

"Milk spilled. Mommy says you need to get more."

"More milk?"

"Uh huh," she nodded.

He sighed, relieved he was going to get to leave the house. "Can you keep him company while I go get dressed?"

"Yup," she popped her p as she nodded. "Why are you putting him in his crib?"

Jason stopped and looked, she pointed at the play mat. "You're not going to let him wander?"

"Where'd he go?" she tilted her head at him.

He looked around the room, it looked safe enough, there had been nothing in the hallway, there was a gate by the stairs. "Don't leave this room, I'll be back in two minutes," he said putting Nate on the floor "and don't shut this door."

"Daddy's crazy," Ellie nodded at her brother as she sat down on the floor with him.

-o-o-o-

"In a rush?" the woman from the night before pulled up behind his SUV, just as he was going to get in.

"You," he fumed.

"Jason watch your blood pressure with your family history-"

"I know you," he walked to her car.

"You've seen pictures of me. Once you knew me, but that was a long time ago."

"Who are you?"

"Mary Mae Ward."

"Justus' grandmother."

"That would be me."

"You're dead."

"You don't say," she pulled back in feigned shock. "Why don't you hop in, I'll take you for that milk."

"What is this?" he asked climbing into the car.

"It's another life Jason. We all have them. The lives we could have been lived. Possibilities are endless every day we make decisions that change everything."

"In what world would I have married Brenda."

"Now Jason, you already married her in your life." She shook her head as she pulled out of the garage and into the bright morning, "And I've got to tell you. She was the one I worried about with Keesha, you two were just so good and pure, almost gave me a toothache. That doesn't really matter though, this isn't that possibility."

"What is this," he shook his head.

"Christmas miracle?"

"It feels like a bad Lifetime movie to me."

"Muses are muses, some of us do better than others."

"You're a muse?"

"Honey I was a muse on earth. We inspire, we create, we let people see an entirely new world."

"I'm in a new world?"

"You're in a world that never was and won't be tomorrow. I asked you what you would regret," she waved one hand while keeping the other on the wheel.

"You asked about the 25th."

She shot him a dirty look. "It's your dream, it's not my fault if you can't follow the rules. You picked today for a reason, you picked today to be your last day, not me. This is the day that you want if there are no tomorrows."

"No," he shook his head, "I would be with Sam-"

"Child," she said lifting a hand to his cheek as the car stopped, "don't be angry with yourself. We can't change our dreams, it's why they're dreams. Enjoy your day. Sam will be there tomorrow. Today is just a dream, you can do what you want with it. Personally, I'm not a fan of squandering dreams. Like I said before, we never know when they're going to stop. Enjoy this Jason. It'll all be gone tomorrow. Go home to your beautiful babies."

He realized they were in front of his building. "I need milk."

"Backseat," she nodded.

He turned and looked back; sure enough there was a gallon in a plastic bag.

"Go now."

"Am I going to see you again?"

"Not for a long time I hope. You were always one of my favorites." Her hand lifted up to his face again, "You look so much like your grandfather those eyes…" she shook her head slowly. "Even more brilliant." She smiled, "And just as stubborn now. Don't be like him," she cupped his chin, "don't let your pride and foolishness stop you from enjoying today."

"If it's just a dream then-"

"Then it's the only day that little girl and boy are going to have. Don't spoil it for them. Now go, your wife has to be losing her mind by now."

-o-o-o-

"Ellie either feed him or don't, we don't have time for you to play," Jason heard as he walked into the apartment. Brenda was speaking as she came out of the kitchen.

"Oh thank god you're home," she sighed seeing him. "Please feed your eldest, keep her occupied."

"You left them alone?"

"Nate's buckled in. I need my phone. I have to text Robin and tell her we'll be late. We got up early yet we're going to be late." She shook her head in shock. "Feed them and I'll shower since you take 2 minutes?"

"Uh sure," he said as she was already taking off towards the stairs.

-o-o-o-

Jason flinched as he walked into the kitchen, Nathan was in a green booster seat on the floor and covered in rice cereal.

"He doesn't like me feeding him," Ellie said turning back to Jason. He could see the cereal in her hair.

"Did he eat any of it?" Jason asked trying to remain calm as he placed the milk on the kitchen table.

"Little when Mommy was here. He's ONLY good when he's around."

Jason sighed. He would figure out what to do with Nate once he got Ellie occupied as Brenda suggested_. She had only been out of the room for a minute tops… _"You need breakfast."

"I want pancakes."

"You're having cereal."

"But I don't want cereal."

"Too bad," he pulled out a bowl.

"But-"

"What kind of cereal do you want?"

"Panda Puffs," she sighed.

He pulled out the green box.

"Daddy!" she screeched as he began to pour the cereal.

"What?" he snapped slightly. He was having a rough morning so far.

"That's NOT my bowl."

"It's a-Okay what bowl do you want," he opened the cabinet again. They all looked the same to him.

She walked over and viewed him suspiciously, "That cabinet," she said pointing.

He opened it and found a stash of plastic dinnerware, "Which bowl?"

"My bowl," she demanded, still looking up at him.

He pulled out a pink heart shaped one and the next thing he knew a foot was coming into contact with his shin.

"Who are you? What did you do to my daddy?" Little fists began to wail on him.

"Ellie stop it," he said trying to gather her hands without hurting her.

"No! Where's my daddy? Why are you here? When's my daddy coming back?"

"I don't know where your daddy is. I'm just here for today."

"Just today?" She paused instantly.

"Just today," he confirmed.

"You aren't Oswald."

The confusion showed on his face.

"Elf on a shelf watching to see if we've been good or bad. I swear I didn't mean to touch him. He looked like he was going to fall and I _was_ trying to help Nate eat. Really!"

Jason wasn't a fan of lying, but…since she obviously was and he was desperate, "I need something good to report in if you-"

"Are you undercovers?"

"Undercover," he corrected.

"Will Daddy come back with Santa?" she pouted suddenly on the verge of tears.

"I'll be gone before you wake up tomorrow."

"Who are you spying on?"

"Everyone," he thought on his feet, "can you help me? If they know I'm not your dad, then they'll be on their best behavior and I won't know what to tell Santa."

"Will I get an extra present if I help?"

"Of course."

"And Daddy'll come back?"

He nodded.

"K," she nodded. "My plate's blue. Lightening McQueen. Daddy got it for me. It's our favorite movie."

-o-o-o-

Jason managed to get the few leftover bites into Nate's mouth once he moved the baby out of the booster seat on the floor, which Ellie informed him, they got so she could be a good big sister, which she was, and help out. He ignored the fact that he got rice transfer onto himself. He gave Nathan a bottle in his high chair as he cleaned up the chair and surrounding area.

By the time Brenda found him in the duck covered bathroom, Ellie had regaled him with every story she could think of how she was a good sister, the best ever in fact, and it had to be true since she had it on a tee shirt. Jason was covered in water, but Nathan was at least clean and Ellie had the rice scrubbed off everywhere Jason could find it.

"I love you, like seriously adore you," Brenda informed him as she walked in, her hair had been blow-dried straight, but she hadn't gotten around to makeup. "Have a good breakfast shortie?"

"Daddy says I'm going to be taller than you," Ellie informed her mother.

"Ah yes Gabrielle, that may be true, but it's going to take many many years and for now," she scooped up her daughter. "You're still my dolly!" She swung her. "And it's dress up time!"

"Can we do my nails?"

"Not today. We can go on Sunday, have a ladies of leisure day."

"Manis and pedis?"

"Duh and champagne glasses of OJ and those little sandwiches," she said as she carried her out of the room.

-o-o-o-

"Don't squirm," Brenda informed a0s she clamped a hand on Ellie's shoulder as the curling iron was in her hair and they sat in front of the vanity in Brenda and Jason's room.

"You're pulling my hair," she whined.

"Curly hair or bath?" Brenda offered again.

"Fine," she grumbled and crossed her arms.

Brenda rolled her eyes as she unrolled the curl.

"Should I get him dressed now or do you want to wait until we leave?" There was clothing put out on Nathan's dresser, khakis, a long sleeved red polo, a green reindeer sweater, but Jason had just dressed him in the white onesie.

"Waiting, good plan, knew I married you for a reason."

"What time are we supposed to be at Robin's?"

She looked over at the clock, "Half hour…Yea that doesn't seem likely."

"I should shower," he went to put Nate in the playpen.

"What are you doing?"

He looked at Brenda in confusion.

"Would you like Sulta on your daughter's forehead?"

The confusion continued.

"The curling iron," she waved it at him.

"He never stays Daddy," Ellie informed him, trying to look discreet.

"Well he needs to learn."

"He's not learning today Jason," Brenda nodded at him. "You should have just taken a shower with him. Just hang out until I get her ready."

He went to sit down on the bed.

"Not here, she doesn't need any more distractions."

He stood and walked to the doorway.

"Love you," Brenda called out.

He scoffed.

-o-o-o-

He gave in to Nate's squirms to be put down when he reached the living room. He thought about the information Ellie had provided while she ate. Nate had just turned one, he only talked when he really wanted something and even then it was mostly 'Mama.' Ellie was five, she had turned five in September, there had been ponies and a bouncy castle and everyone from her class came. He and Brenda had been married 'forever.' Robin wasn't married, she had a son named Garrison, who was exactly 3 months younger than Ellie, a whole quarter of a year. His dad was a 'French jerkoff,' which according to Ellie was what Brenda always called him. He needed Ellie, so he couldn't rat her out on the language she was picking up from her mother.

She had gotten distracted and Jason had a hard time getting her off the subject of Donnie, a boy in her class who completely deserved a stocking full of coal. He tried to ask her about Michael, but the most he had gotten was that he never had any time for her and that he wouldn't go out for pizza with them after his games, basketball, according to her he was the star and all he ever wanted to do was play kissyface with his girlfriend, which led to 30 seconds of air smooching from Ellie. Jason hadn't been able to help smiling.

So with one eye on Nate, Jason walked over to the mantle to check out the pictures and to try to figure out the rest of the back story, especially when and how had he and Brenda ended up married.

"Ugh," he groaned seeing them both in jeans standing in the Chapel of Love, it wasn't the wedding he remembered though. He wondered what had changed. Had he not dated Robin? Had Brenda not faked her death? What had changed their paths so drastically?

There were Christmas photos haphazardly tilted along framed pictures as actual holiday cards dangled in front of the fireplace on a string, he was guessing it wasn't used often. He saw Michael and picked up the image, Michael, Morgan and two little girls, the little girl a sandy blond and the toddler a strawberry blond. He didn't even was to guess how his marrying Brenda resulted in those two.

Then there was a picture of Robin and a boy, he assumed was Garrison in bright red Christmas gear with a dog in a Santa costume.

There were a selection of people he didn't know as well. He wondered about looking at the cards, but Nate was heading towards the gate on the stairs and Jason had to make a dash over to scoop the boy up.

"You're a handful aren't you?" Jason questioned the adoring boy, who wasn't at all disturbed by his father's attention.

He giggled and bat against Jason's shoulder with his hands.

"Cute and a handful," he sighed, "wonder where you get that from."

-o-o-o-

"You have twenty minutes," Brenda informed him from the gated stairs "and you need to shave."

_Really? He had married her? _He thought from his spot on the floor where he and Nate had been pressing buttons, closing lids and clapping with each accomplishment.

"Don't look at me like that Jason, you knew this when you married me," her expression was no nonsense and Jason had no choice, but to agree with her, but _why_ he had married her was still completely beyond him.

He stood and handed the baby over to her and waited for her to start walking up the stairs before he stepped over the gate instead of unlocking it.

"Twenty minutes Jason," she ordered as she turned into Nate's room.

-o-o-o-

The apartment turned frantic as they tried to leave. Stacks of presents appeared by the door, then a diaper bag, then a bag full of clothing for them to change after the gingerbread houses at Robin's, the curling iron appeared eventually on top of the load, then snowsuits in case they wanted to play outside.

They, meaning he, were loaded down as they headed towards the elevator, even Ellie had a stack of packages, the small boxes and bags were shoved into bags and hung off Nate's stroller that Brenda pushed.

"Where's the diaper bag?" Brenda accused as Jason stripped two bags of clothing off of his body.

He looked around, into the trunk and down at himself. "I got everything that was by the door."

"I remember bringing-" her eyes suddenly closed, "yea it's in the kitchen because I needed to pack more formula." She sighed. "I'll be back, load them up," she grabbed her keys out of her bag and threw it into the front seat.

"She's a good mommy," Ellie suddenly informed him as Brenda disappeared into the elevator.

Jason looked down confused.

"She hasn't forgotten us anywhere, stuff is just,"

"Stuff," Jason finished for her.

"Mommy shouldn't get coal. Daddy loves her, they're a team. Mommy's a lot better when Daddy's ganizin."

"Organizing."

She nodded. "Mommy's funny without Daddy."

"Your mom isn't getting coal because she forgot a diaper bag," Jason said finishing loading up the packages and moved onto loading Nate into the SUV.

"Good," she nodded. "Do you know what Daddy got her?"

"No."

"But you're an elf," she frowned.

"I only know what Santa gets people."

"Oh," she thought about it for a second then nodded deciding that made sense. "Daddy won't tell me everything. We picked out a bunch of pretty stuff and he got her a watch. He always gets her a watch. He always says, one day she'll learn how to use it."

Jason chuckled as he was finishing buckling Nate in. "Come on, in the car," he said with a hand on her back, leading her around the back.

"What are you doing?" Ellie asked as he went through Brenda's purse.

"Just getting your mom's phone."

"Why?"

"I just need to check something." He thumbed his way into her address book and sure enough Brenda kept entirely too much information on her phone, Robin lived at Mac's.

"What?"

"Just where we're going."

"Aunt Robin's," Ellie informed him matter of factly.

"Exactly."

He walked towards the back to load in the stroller before she could question him further. Brenda rushed forward as he closed the hatch. "Only ten minutes late," she nodded as she rushed to her side. "Honestly Robin's going to be impressed."

"Do you have everything?" He asked as she buckled herself in.

"Good to go," she nodded.

* * *

And that was part one of four of my Christmas knockoff. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Haha or at least as always don't hate. :-P


	33. Family Man Part Two

AN: Umm I'm kinda wondering if I can have a fangirl crush on **Salena. **I want to read whatever story she's reviewing because it's certainly not mine.

**Tanilc: **Crap is there another Ward on the scene? This is what happens when I keep up with GH by YouTube searches of "Brenda Jason," and "Matt Maxie," (Um I love Spinelli, but well I always return to the classics, ::Shelle:: if you couldn't figure that out with Brazen) and Daytime Confidential. Haha, all I know about Maya is she's pretty and there were a few good Youtube vids with Lucky. Justus was one of GH's biggest letdowns (along with the Alcazar brothers and Ric), especially how they ended that character. He was strong, he was tortured, but he was still this great guy underneath. They could have done an amazing bittersweet hero's death with him at least.

**GH Fan:** "My Jason is trapped in a cycle of Sam that will never end and looks like Gh is not doing Brazen, I could have sworn they were going in that direction." _Yea seriously they did set us up to believe in Brazen this time around all of those promos and reruns. LIARS. _

**Leigh, Mari, Rach, Piper, KellyVanessaFan: **Thank you guys! I totally feel all loved and cuddly after this round of reviews. Which is extra good because it's combating what sounds like the arctic outside my window. :-P

_Btw Elf on a Shelf is a real thing. I thought my cousin was crazy this year and she made me google it, turns out she isn't the only that does it. _

_Hope you guys enjoy! _

_ -o-o-o-_

_

* * *

_

-o-o-o-

**Part Two**

"Merry Christmas!" Brenda and Robin squealed at each other as she opened the door, and then launched into a hug.

"It's Christmas Eve," Ellie repeated her mother's previous statement.

Brenda looked down with an eye roll.

"Gee, I wonder who she reminds me of?" Robin laughed. "Fine, Merry Christmas Eve. Go bother your cousin," she laughed at her goddaughter, "he's up in his room."

"So what do you need Jason to do?" Brenda offered.

Robin laughed again, "All the furniture against the walls, the tables are in the garage. What were you thinking letting me invite so many kids?" She accused her best friend.

"I was thinking that Garrison is going to be the most popular kid in class on the 3rd," Brenda smiled.

"And his mother is going to be in a nuthouse."

Both women laughed.

"Patrick offered to come by to help, Uncle Mac doesn't know when he's going to be able to stop by-"

"Patrick, really? The good doctor is coming by?"

"He heard me losing my mind yesterday trying to plan. Do not read into it Brenda."

"Really?"

"He's just being nice."

"No guy is just being nice when it comes to dealing with 20 sugar crazed and sticky kids. Jason's been trying to get out of it all week."

"He's just moving furniture."

"Mmmhmmm," Brenda murmured.

"Can_ I_ start moving furniture now?"

"Sorry Jason, give me my godson," Robin ordered. "Wait on the sofa until Patrick gets here."

"What are we doing?" Brenda questioned as was being led away.

"Dumping candy into bowls."

Jason snorted at Robin's statement.

Robin was only momentarily confused, "It's okay I bought plenty of extra."

Brenda sighed.

-o-o-o-

"Daddy," Ellie loudly called out. She had been keeping a studious eye on him since people had started arriving.

He had easily avoided making small talk with Patrick, who had shown up with Matt, the two brothers had no problem filling the silence; he had only had to answer a few questions about Vegas, as the two brothers were flying out in 5 days for a New Year's Eve getaway. One of the parents of Ellie and Garrison's classmates had him cornered now and was asking opinions on a Mr. Fields, who was apparently the teacher.

"Excuse me," he nodded and headed towards the little girl.

"Stay with me Daddy," she ordered and climbed out of her seat.

"Okay."

"Daddy, sit down," she loudly whispered at him.

He sat; she climbed into his lap.

"You can help," she told him, "but not too much."

-o-o-o-

"Aren't they just the cutest thing?" Robin awed to Brenda, they were close enough so Jason could easily hear them as he was holding a gumdrop up with his finger, attempting to avoid gravity while the icing set as decreed by the little girl with the blonde curls.

"I know, I kinda get that witch from Hansel and Gretel, I could totally eat them up."

-o-o-o-

"How are you guys doing?" Brenda asked leaning down and hugging him from behind, he noticed how quickly he had adjusted to the act, how his body no longer stiffened in shock.

"We're fine," Ellie was quick to chirp.

"Daddy isn't going insane from all the sugar filled kids?" Brenda smirked.

"I'm fine."

"Merry, uh happy Christmas Eve?"

Jason turned towards the voice, the familiarity he couldn't fully place, Brenda turned as well.

Jesse Beaudry with a fair-haired toddler in his arms, looking uncomfortably at Robin.

She laughed at him, "You too," she encased him in a hug. "And you especially Bobby," the little boy practically leapt into her arms.

"Sorry I'm late, I was on the night shift."

"No apologies," Robin waved off his concern.

"You know if it's too much for you to take him," Jesse looked around the room.

"What's one more in this chaos? Robin shook her head at him. "You go take care of all of your last minute stuff."

"I can't believe it's almost been three years," Brenda whispered as the farewells played out.

"Hmm?" He whispered still in shock, looking at the not so young man anymore, who had never gotten to grow old.

"Maxie's been gone three years," Brenda whispered, staring at her daughter, who was leaning precariously close to the gingerbread house. "She's missing it all," Brenda gently touched a curl, Ellie turned and smiled, Brenda smiled back. "You two be good," she nodded.

Jason's mind struggled with the timeline. Struggled with what had to have changed. Manny had been responsible for Jesse's death. _Had he taken out Manny soone_r? _As he wished he had, so many times?_

-o-o-o-

The boisterous room continued to thrum around him, Ellie talked animatedly to her friends and they occasionally took punch and then bathroom breaks, where she never let him out of her sight for long.

"Merry Christmas!" was suddenly loudly announced, Jason knew that voice, he turned to see Georgie Jones walking into the living room.

"Georgie!" Robin called out and rushed to her little cousin.

"This is crazy," Georgie laughed throwing her head back and letting the curls bounce.

"You think this is crazy, wait until we hit cleanup."

"Please like I'm staying for cleanup, I'm just here for the candy," Georgie laughed.

Robin laughed as well.

"I heard candy," Dillion said walking in and dropping two bags full of presents on the floor.

"You didn't have to carry them all in," Georgie apologized.

"Yea I thought my wife was going to help me, but she was out of the door before the car was even in park."

"If you had my family you'd rush too," Georgie smiled.

"Isn't that the truth, hey Jason," Dillion nodded at his cousin.

"Oh hi Jason!" Georgie impulsively hugged him as well. "This is totally going to be saner than the house later."

_The house? As in the Quartermaines? _

"I'd give good money to see Edward Quartermaine elbow deep in royal icing," Dillion laughed.

_Diego_. Jason's battered mind finally put together. If the hit on Diego had been successful that would have explained Jesse and Georgie's presence.

"I'm going to go attack my nephews now," Georgie smiled.

-o-o-o-

It was painful to watch Georgie be happy. To watch her squeeze in next to her nephews and make a house with Dillion, to watch her tote Nate around on her hip. To watch her and Dillion argue over when to have kids.

She was like Emily, there had been no reason for her to die…_Emily…Diego…_

"Hey Ellie let me up for a minute?"

"Where are you going?"

"Outside for a minute, I need to make a phone call."

"I've been good," she quickly reminded.

"You have been," he agreed.

He rushed out of the house and pulled his phone out. _Emily._

She picked up on the third ring, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to say hi."

"Hi at 10 o'clock at night?"

_Ten?_

"Didn't Mom tell you, I'm under strict orders to skype in at 3am so I can have dinner with you guys?"

"Oh."

"So was hi it?"

"I…I wanted to tell you I loved you and Merry Christmas." He wanted, he needed, as much as he needed his next breath to tell her that. To tell her how sorry he was, that she had been the best person in his life and even though he tried he wasn't sure she knew that.

"I love you too Jason. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm surrounded by 20 kids on a sugar high," even if this was a dream, he didn't want to spoil it, he wanted one last happy memory. A memory where everything was perfect and he wasn't letting her down. Laughter to erase the stillness of her body because Emily had been life, the very best of it.

She laughed at him, "And you love it. You wouldn't change it for anything. Give my niece and nephew a kiss for me. I'm going back to sleep. I'll see you in a few hours."

_Emily_. His perfect day, his perfect world of course contained her, he felt foolish for not realizing it earlier. _Why hadn't he taken out the threat of Diego? How had he let that kid go unchecked? _

-o-o-o-

"I have a stomachache," Brenda said dropping onto the slipcovered sofa that was pressed against the wall.

"I'm not surprised, I think you ate more than the kids," Dillion accused.

"You ate an entire bowl of butterscotch morsels," she accused right back.

"It was like a quarter full."

"You at mine too," Ellie ratted out her big cousin.

He jokingly scowled at her. "You trying to get me in trouble?" He hunched over and went to chase after her, 'Want me to tell how you-"

"No," she squealed as he caught her and scooped her up.

"Keep carrying her upstairs for her nap, then come back for me," Brenda commanded, stretched out like a royal across the couch.

"Nap!" Ellie immediately flared in Dillion's arms.

"Everyone's having a nap," Robin immediately backed up Brenda, "we have a long day ahead of us."

"Yea come on," Georgie ordered scooping up Bobby, "there's still time for Santa to add you to his naughty list."

"Yea," Dillion nodded, "but I mean if you want coal instead of toys-"

"Toys!" Ellie immediately declared.

"So nap," Brenda pointed out.

"Fine," Ellie pouted, but looked at Jason, who nodded.

"You have five minutes," Robin nudged her best friend, who had rolled over and pretended to go to sleep.

Brenda groaned.

"Should we put Nate upstairs to get him away from the noise?" Robin nodded at Nate asleep in his stroller. Georgie and Dillion had taken him for a quick walk around the block to get him to sleep.

"Psht, he lives with us, that kid could sleep through a Rolling Stones show."

"Tell me a story?" Ellie requested of Jason.

"Uh-"

"Come on Daddy," Dillion chuckled as he walked over and let the little girl transfer arms, "tell her a story."

"Put Bobby in Gar's room?" Robin nodded at Georgie. "El, you want to sleep in mine?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Come on Brenda," Robin nudged her, "get cleaning."

"Ugh. How about Jason cleans and I'll take the story?"

"I don't think so, this party was your idea."

"Ugh," she burrowed into the crack.

"Dillion, dump her," Robin ordered as Jason and Georgie headed towards the stairs along with the kids.

"I'm up!"

-o-o-o-

"What's the North Pole like?" Ellie asked as soon as Jason dropped her onto the bed in the master suite. Georgie had laughed at him as he tried to go to Robin's old room and directed him to Mac's.

"Cold."

"Tell me about it."

"It's pretty much like what you see in the movies."

She sighed.

"Sorry, I'm not much of a storyteller."

"It's okay, neither is Daddy."

"Is that okay?"

She frowned, confused.

"That your dad isn't a good storyteller."

"He's good, it just takes him awhile," she immediately defended her father. "He's the best daddy. He's good at everything."

"Everything?"

She nodded vehemently.

"Like what?"

"He always knows stuff. He can carry like everything. He's the best tucker EVER."

Jason laughed. "What about your mom and dad?"

"What about them?"

He frowned, he hadn't meant to ask that. "Do they get along?"

"Duh. They love each other."

"Oh."

"Daddy only laughs with us because we make him happy."

"That's good."

"I'm a good daughter," she nodded.

Jason bit back his laugh, "Yes you are."

"Can Daddy come home now?"

"Your dad's up in the North Pole, he can't come back until Santa comes."

"Oh. Kay."

"You should get some sleep."

"Fine, but just so you know, you should tell Santa big girls don't need naps."

"I'll let him know," he nodded at her.

-o-o-o-

"Georgie?" Jason softly called out as he walked into the hallway and saw Georgie leaning against the doorframe of her old room.

She turned wiping away tears, "Christmas sucks."

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "I'm supposed to be over it by now, but she was so happy her last Christmas, she had Bobby and Jesse and…She should have gotten a new heart. She deserved it." Georgie shook her head again, apologized and then ran off nearly taking Robin out in the process.

Robin looked in confused between Jason and the stairs her cousin had run down.

"She's missing Maxie," Jason explained.

Robin nodded, "We all are." She shook her head. "It wasn't enough that she got Kawasaki and that BJ died. She had to die so that we could have Bobby. It's like some horrible, sick circle."

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged at the impossibility of it all. "I don't know what I would have done without you and Brenda…You're one of my best friends Jason and I don't say thank you for that often enough."

"Uh-" he finally began after a moment.

She let out a laugh, "And now I've made you uncomfortable."

"No," he shook his head, "you're a good friend too." She was in his world. He had tossed her to the side, but she had still come back to save his life.

She laughed again, "Okay you can go back downstairs."

He thankfully escaped.

-o-o-o-

"New record, what did you bribe her with?"

Dillon laughed.

"Jason you've never left her room in under a half hour when she asks for a story."

"How long does she nap for?" Dillon questioned.

"Like an hour," Brenda rolled her eyes. "Daddy's a pushover."

"Stop making fun of your husband," Robin said walking down the stairs, "and stop glaring at your wife."

-o-o-o-

The doorbell rang some 40 minutes later as the living room had just been restored to its former glory, their eyes all went wide and Dillon launched himself at the door before the bell could be rung again.

"Dillon," Felicia brightly smiled, "hi. Merry Christmas. How was your drive?" Felicia hugged her son in law.

"It wasn't too bad."

"Did you guys do all the touristy stuff?" Felicia questioned as she walked in, "Merry Christmas everyone."

They returned the greeting.

"Give your old mom a hug," Felicia said opening her arms.

"You're early," Georgie pointed out as her mother engulfed her in a hug.

"Your dad and I-"

"Don't call him that," Georgie snapped.

"Sorry, Frisco and I. Finished our errands early."

_Frisco? _

"Where's Jamie?"

"In the car with your-She's in the car, didn't see the point in unstrapping her if the boys were-"

"They're still napping."

There was a quick knock at the door, it opened and Jason saw Frisco Jones for the first time outside of pictures. Sun bleached hair, tan and weathered skin.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart," Frisco smiled at his middle daughter as he held his youngest, a toddler with blue eyes and blonde hair, just like her parents. He threw out a casual greeting to everyone else, who again returned it.

"I thought you were going to wait in the car?" Felicia inquired.

"Eh, it'll take 30 seconds to get her back in," he started walking towards his daughter.

"Let me guess, she started yelling and you figured it would just be easier to bail and deal with everything else later," the attitude and resentment dripped off of Georgie's every word.

Frisco didn't flinch, "Come skating with us. Both of you. We took Jamie last week, she's going to be a pro."

"We're going to the Quartermaines," she crossed her arms.

"The Quartermaines will still be there in an hour."'

"We promised we'd-"

Frisco raised his hand, "I got it. It's wonderful to see you sweetheart. Memphis agreed with you."

"Traveling's nice, but I prefer being home." She cocked her head. "Hey Jamie remember me?"

"Hey look sweetie, it's your sister, can you say hi Georgie?"

Jamie burrowed into Frisco's tan sweater.

"She just woke up, she'll be a chatterbox as soon as she sees the boys. Speaking of the-"

"They're still napping, Jamie why don't you come to me-"

"Why don't we go finish putting that candy away," Brenda nudged Jason in the ribs.

-o-o-o-

"Georgie needs therapy," Brenda informed Jason as she sat down on a stool and popped a redhot into her mouth.

Robin was just going to toss the leftover candy, so Jason was well aware and relieved that it had just been a ploy to get them out of the room. "She lost her sister," Jason defended.

"But Frisco came home, Maxie forgave him. I mean she seems to like Jamie…It's odd. Like really odd."

"Mmm," Jason avoided actually agreeing by eating a kiss.

"I'm really glad you came," she smiled up at him. "I think Ellie loved showing off her daddy. She didn't want to let you go today."

"She's a good girl." Jason knew the little girl had been doing her part to keep his cover safe, but it had been nice the moments he forgot and just heard the word, 'Daddy.'

"The best," Brenda smiled. "Especially at Christmas time."

Jason laughed.

"Do you have plans Tuesday?"

"I don't think so," he hedged.

"K I'm going to take Robin for a spa day."

"An entire day?"

"Yes, Jason. Drink champagne and not be around our children."

He stared at her.

"Don't look at me like that Jason. They're your children and they're crazy and if Ellie has anymore half days…" She shook her head, "I was trying to run errands on one of the busiest days of the year with 3 children yesterday. She seriously threw a temper tantrum at the front of the store because I wouldn't let her have a kid's shopping cart. If you saw her in that cart Jason, it looked like I was an abusive parent. She was red, whimpering and honestly just nasty and I was that obnoxious parent ignoring her."

He couldn't help, but laugh slightly imaging Brenda having to deal with a belligerent child.

"Not funny Jason, it was insane. I don't know what I was thinking when I took them all with me."

He chuckled again.

"Yea laugh away Jason. We'll see if you're laughing when I drop them all at the shop next year. That being said Robin and I are going shopping Sunday before the storm so you need to take them outside and burn all excess energy out of them before they go stir crazy in the apartment."

"You're shopping a sale?" _There were few things Jason Morgan knew about shopping, but what days and times to avoid were the main ones. _

"It's all about the hunt Jason and Robin is a single parent, it's not like the Jerkoff ever sends support. I need to talk her into something trashy and throw her at Patrick."

He raised a hand to stop her.

She smirked. Then turned with a smile as Nate grunted from his stroller, she automatically left her perch and bent down to his level, whispering, "Shhhh. Sleep," with a hand on his chest.

Nate instead grabbed her hand and looked up with a smile.

"No more sleep?"

He shook his head vehemently.

She laughed and undid his straps.

Jason watched the quiet banter between mother and child as he was on her hip and he wondered if he wasn't living her perfect day.

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading guys! I'm thinking some Discovering Who You Become next, there will be 2 more parts to this, the Quartermaines and an epilogue. However question, **The Christmas Story at the hospital, Christmas Eve right? Not Christmas day. **

Random Comments back to Salena:

If there is a man out there that has avoided watching a lifetime movie, but has lived with a female, I'm thinking he didn't live with her for long.

This Edward also got Cindy Crawford to kiss him, he has TOTAL game.

Brenda and Jason have the total crazy hot sex, they put all of the lame couch sex that goes on to shame.

I miss Brenda having balls, I wanted her to come back a grown up, she didn't even behave like this when she was 17. :-( She shot her way off a boat with a flare gun to do what was right the last time. COME ON GH! I have serious issues with the whole cop shot thing. Oh and the wife shot and the almost blowing up his daughter...

"I swear the appeal of Brazen is yes the bickering, hottness and history but also watching certain residents of PortChuck lose there minds LOL." -I sooo agree with you. I love how everyone just reacts and I mean EVERYONE.

Sam was way better with spunk and little bit of vengeful attitude, then again that might just be because I hate Liz. She is now that girl we all want to avoid being, the girl that gives everything up for the guy that honestly probably wouldn't be too heartbroken if she walked out.

Thank GOD we don't see any Carly/Sonny in Michael, gotta say I was worried when he was shooting innocent females and fleeing, very Sonnyesque.


	34. Hindsight Part 1

This is obviously not DWYB (I actually ended up writing TAoCS, as I always say no control over what gets written). This is a three part wedding fic, based on how I hoped the wedding was going to turn out. It's obviously not going to the S&B not going through with it due to Carly. However GH did decide to be obvious with the whole Susanne thing (angry because it was so blatant) and the Liz actress STAYING! Um imagine bitter beyond belief now and refusing to watch GH in any form.

That is a serious bummer because I had been in SUCH a good mood because of this quote that KellyVanessaFan sent me from VMG, _"_**_...Jason I think she loves like a family member. He is at the top of her list. I think she'd die for him. She'd throw herself in front of a bus if it came down to something like that. She loves him that deeply. She would never admit it, but I can tell you as the person who portrays her that she does...__"_**

**** Such a good quote (thank you again), sadly crappy GH beat it in terms of inspiration. I seriously think that quote will be the end fic at the end of this S&B wedding week. As always I hope you guys don't hate and everyone totally rocked with reviews for the last TPT chapter (finished this week, this week needed a flood of Brazen). I'll comment back to everything else later, I need to go shovel. AGAIN.

* * *

**Hindsight**

"Are you going to be okay?" Jason asked from her doorway.

She looked over with puffy red eyes. Another wedding without the groom saying I do. _Okay?_

He flinched. "Can I get you anything?"

"A time machine?" She asked in despair, her entire life had been Sonny from that day on the pier. Everything she had been, everything she had wanted was wrapped up in Sonny. She had again made the decision to risk everything for him and he had again thrown it back into her face, leaving Jason to pick up the pieces of the mess Carly had set forth by sharing Brenda's past.

"Br-"

She shook her head pitifully as he tried to approach her. "I wasn't much before Sonny. But if I hadn't met him, if he hadn't flashed those stupid dimples…I could have figured out how to be happy Jason."

"You still can."

Another woeful gentle shake of her head, "It was over for me the moment I met him and I can't go back, I can't erase it."

"Do you want anything from the kitchen?" He asked after a moment of silence.

She shook her head.

"Want to watch a movie?"

Another shake as her limbs further buried themselves into the oversized sweater she had put on upon their return. Her wedding dress had been left in the elevator, when she had looked down and seem the appalling gown she had flipped out and nothing Jason said could stop her desperate need to be free of it. He helped her out of it rather than watch her hyperventilate.

"Br-"

"I think I just want to be alone," she nodded at him. "Go," she nodded again, "do damage control. I'll be fine."

"I'll be downstairs," he nodded at her.

"Thank you," she smiled at him.

He paused.

"You didn't have to-"

"Don't," he shook his head at him. He didn't want thanks, especially when he hadn't been able to stop Carly.

"Good night Jason," she nodded at him.

"Night."

-o-o-o-

She was vaguely aware of the scream she let loose as she shot up in bed. Mostly though she was too focused on her heart attempting to beat out of her chest and her lungs desperate endeavor at getting oxygen, to recall the blood curdling scream.

"Brenda," Jason flung the door open and pulled her into his arms. "You're okay, you're okay. You just had a bad dream," he rocked with her.

She held on with all of her might.

"You're okay," he repeated with his lips nearly touching her dark hair.

She finally calmed in the safety of his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up and a bubble of laughter burst through her as she saw him. The caring blue eyes, the long blonde hair, she touched a slender cheek and another bubble of laughter emerged.

"Looking at me makes you laugh, I feel comforted," he made a joking scowl.

"Jason," she laughed louder and scrambled out of her covers to straddle him. She laughed in utter and complete joy.

"And you've lost your mind," he shook his head at her.

"I don't care," she laughed again, as she cupped the back of his neck and let her head drop forward so it was almost touching his.

"Want to tell me about the dream?"

The dream was leaving, vague, horrible memories disappearing from her mind. "Sonny Corinthos," she shook her head in disdain.

"The scumbag that owns the Paradise Lounge?"

She laughed again, letting her head touch his. She laughed at the absurdity of it, of her dream. They were 19 with their entire future ahead of them. She stopped suddenly and just looked at him, she saw it all now, she saw what she had been running from and holding on to equally. "This is where I belong."

"Exactly," he smiled. "Like I told you living at the house isn't-"

"No," she stopped him while remaining transfixed by his face, the classic nose, the piercing eyes, blonde hair framing them. "You."

"Brenda," he shook his head at her.

"I suck," she informed him. "I chase things that are bad for me because I don't deserve the good things."

"You deserve amazing things," Jason forgot his discomfort and cupped her face as she tried to hide her eyes.

"You're amazing," she paused for a moment, still taking him in, "you're…" she shook her head gently. The dream still clawing at her, a Jason she couldn't touch, a Jason that was always so close, yet so far. _The only one that stood by her, always. _

"We're not doing this again Brenda, Jag-"

She kissed him. _Maybe this was the dream. Maybe this was all she had. _She kept kissing him, she held back the urge to laugh in elation as she felt him fight it, as she tasted Jason again. It hadn't been years, she realized letting the warmth of him reassure her of that, _this had only been months. _She definitely didn't laugh as he started to cave and then gave in completely a split second later. Certainly no laughing when his hands went to her hips and what she found as she was pulled in closer was certainly no laughing matter, applauding yes, not laughing.

"So what the hell-" AJ was asking as he walked toward her open door, "ah. Shit. Shut the door!" He pulled it shut with a slam.

She laughed then, so did Jason. They laughed on each other's shoulders and they felt it rippling through their bodies.

"Brenda," he began, biting back a moan as she began to nip at his neck.

"Turn off your brain-" she ordered.

"Jagger-"

She pulled back, clearly annoyed. "This isn't about Jagger."

"It's not-Fine then what's it about?"

She laughed again softly, "It's us Jason. At the end of the day, hell our lives, all the other men, all the other women, it's gonna be us. You and me. You're always going to be here after the nightmares and…I'm always going to give you nightmares," she laughed again softly. "This is it. Fighting it is futile."

"Watching Star Trek lately?"

She chuckled again. "You're taking this very lightly."

"You're the one laughing."

"I'm happy," she laughed again, "I finally get it."

"Get what?" He questioned tentatively.

She looked at him calmly, knowingly, slightly smugly, "You're the love the lasts."

"Because I'm safe."

"Don't knock safe. You're the one I'm always going to want when I'm scared. This," she nodded slightly, "used to be scary."

"Why?"

"Because it's so much. It's all of those things I know I don't deserve."

"Br-"

She shook her head at him, "Don't make me spend my life chasing after the wrong guys."

"You just _decided_," his eyebrows lifted, "that I'm the right guy."

"I always knew Jason, I just couldn't see it."

"But you see it now because-"

"You're there after the nightmares. When I'm spoiled and selfish. You stick around when it's bad…" She shook her head slowly at him; he stopped it with his hand, once more holding her gaze to him. "You deserve better than me, but-" She tried to shake her head, but was again stopped by his hand.

"You're Brenda Barrett, Deception model."

"I do have a pretty face," she smirked.

He laughed at her.

She smiled, then braced herself again. "So this is it Jason. My heart's on my sleeve. Either we try this or when I'm annoying you in twenty years you aren't even going to be getting sex for it."

He chuckled, "When you put it like that," he pulled her close as she squealed.

* * *

_Wow I think my AN was longer than that. Maybe I'll put up part 2 later today if I have enough fics to last me through the week. _


	35. Hindsight Part 2

Thanks for reading and reviewing Piper and Rach6! I hope you enjoy this trip back in altered history. :-P

* * *

**Hindsight Part 2**

-o-o-o-Jagger's Bachelor Party-o-o-o-

"You're taking this well," Robin suspiciously looked at her friend as they sat together at The Outback.

"My man's hotter," she took a sip of her soda at Jagger's party. "Richer. Smarter. Nicer, funnier and he actually likes me," she nodded.

Robin laughed.

"Oh and better in bed."

Robin's soda spurted out. "Brenda!"

"What?" She shrugged. "He is."

"Yea, but do you have to keep working it into _every_ conversation? It's been 3 months."

"And when Jason stops being good, I'll stop talking about it."

Robin laughed along with Brenda. "Did you try calling it Junior again?"

"Only when I'm fucking with him," Brenda smirked, "thinking of his brother is his Achilles' heel. It's going to work better than I have a headache when we're older."

"Still planning on marrying Jason?"

"Oh we're getting married," Brenda nodded.

"Should I point out you've only been together since December?"

"Jason and I are going to have the perfect life. He's going to become a doctor, I'm going to become even more fantastic, 2 kids, a dog and you're going to live right next door."

Robin laughed again.

"That reminds me, I'm signed up for calc this summer. So basically I'm curling your hair and you're taking it for me."

"You're taking summer classes?"

"Yea, Jason talked me into meeting with an advisor. Marketing. I could do marketing."

"You could sell snow to an Eskimo," Robin smiled.

"Our lives are going to be perfect," Brenda turned to her sis with a smile and raised her glass up for a toast.

"I think they're going to be," Robin agreed catching a glimpse of Stone talking to Jason.

"Way better than Karen's," Brenda smirked.

Robin sighed.

-o-o-o-GH Post Frank's Jailbreak-o-o-o-

Brenda looked over as Robin approached the vending machine, "How is Stone doing?" His brother was in the hospital and the man who was like a brother in the hospital as well and under police watch.

"He's upset, like he deserves to be. He really thought the best of Sonny."

"How could he-"

"Brenda," she stopped her friend.

"Jagger could have been killed. There's an escaped convict on the loose."

"And Stone has to deal with that."

"I'm just glad the cops caught Sonny even if it was only because he was bleeding out."

"I just can't believe Sonny would do something like this," Robin was still in shock.

"He's a creep Robin."

"He's always been nice to you," Robin defended the man that cared for Stone.

"Because he wants to get in my pants and he calls Jason, Richie Rich. We're all better off with that guy under police watch."

-o-o-o- Cates/Wexler's Dinner Party-o-o-o-

"You should get tested," Brenda announced in the small living area of the 2 bedroom Jagger and Karen shared with Stone. Jason stared in equal shock with the renters, who had remained in Port Charles rather than move west because of Stone.

"Brenda," Robin was mortified.

"What," she shrugged, "you should."

"She's taking Human Sexuality," Jason explained and took a sip of his soda. "Obviously she didn't read the course description."

"Yea, I never want to have sex again," she took a long sip of the wine she brought.

"How's that working out for you, Jason?" Jagger nodded with a snigger.

"Don't-"

"Oh he's fine, ask Monica, I'm the whore."

Stone choked on his soda and wished Jagger would let him have some of the wine Brenda bought.

"My-"

"She scheduled an appointment with my gyno Jason."

Jason wished he wasn't driving.

"She didn't-" Karen's mouth dropped.

"Oh yea, she's asks if I'm taking my pill."

"Are you still using condoms?" Robin shocked everyone by asking.

Brenda snorted. Jason diverted his eyes.

"They aren't," Karen laughed.

"We should," Jason said returning his gaze to the group, wanting to be a mature, sensible influence on Robin.

Brenda snorted again, "We?"

"You-" Jason suddenly stopped as he realized they were about to have a private discussion in front of others.

"The point is, you might get lazy or caught up, whatever you want to call it. So you should make sure you're clean."

"I'm-" Stone was about to share that he was fine.

"Brenda's got a point," Jagger finally added, "you could use a physical anyway."

Robin and Stone both looked up at the ceiling completely and utterly mortified.

-o-o-o-Brenda's Bedroom-o-o-o-

"I know," Brenda rocked on her bed with Robin in her arms. Stone's test results hadn't given him the all clear as they all expected. Brenda had almost forgotten all about it until she heard that Stone had run off. Robin had spent days being strong for Stone, who had repeatedly tried to break up with her.

"We were going to get married and have houses next to each other," she sobbed.

"We still will."

"Not with Stone."

"You heard what Jason and Alan said, it's still HIV, he's going on the meds. He can stay healthy until there's a cure. I bet in five years we're going to be laughing at what a big deal we thought this was."

"He broke up with me!"

"He's upset. He's scared. Stone loves you, he's afraid of hurting you."

"Him leaving hurts."

"Just give him some time Robin."

"What if he gets sick?" Robin whispered.

"We'll deal with it Robin. We've got to believe that he's going to respond to treatment. He's young and he's strong."

"And stubborn," Robin added with a laugh.

"Definitely stubborn," Brenda laughed back.

-o-o-o-The Q's-o-o-o-

"Your brother is volunteering and it isn't court ordered or Lila ordered," they were sprawled on the couch together watching lousy summer reruns.

"He really likes her," Jason offered as an explanation.

"She is pretty."

"You're prettier," he automatically replied, he had only heard that a dozen times or so since they had met Keesha Ward in June.

"Think she's interested?"

"She did invite him to the beach with the kids."

They found out AJ was going on a day trip to the lake with some of the kids from the Ward House and he had apparently been doing more than hitting on Keesha on all of his trips to her grandmother's house.

"She might just need an extra set of hands."

"She's good for him."

"Monica already prefers her."

Jason laughed, she wasn't jealous of his reaction to the new girl in town, but his mother's.

"Don't laugh. I have-" she tried to twist in his arms.

"I prefer you. Lila prefers you. You don't need to worry."

"It's been half a year, your mother really needs to get over me deflowering you already."

He sighed.

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's Apartment-o-o-o-

She shot up in bed, letting out a blood curdling scream as she swore she saw a shadow moving in the closet. It was a week before Halloween and she was seriously regretting the decision they'd made to join Robin and Stone on a haunted hayride the night before. Especially since they'd spent the week having a Freddy Krueger marathon in preparation for going to see the new movie, which they did after the hayride. She was basically a basket of nerves.

"Just a nightmare," Jason's arms were immediately around her.

"I hate scary movies," she panted clutching his arm, still staring at the closet waiting for Freddy to emerge. She could almost hear a whisper of, 'One, two Freddy's coming for you.'

"Then why do you insist on watching them?" He chuckled.

"Insist? Aren't you the one that bought all the movies?"

"You didn't have to watch 2 a night."

"It was that or homework Jason and if I didn't I wouldn't have you holding me right now," she quipped, as always feeling better once she was safe in his arms. Her man could take on Freddy any day.

"I always want to be here after your nightmares."

She turned, "You always will be right?"

"If you'll have me."

"Always," she smiled.

"Good," his hand went under his pillow and he pulled out a black leather ring box.

She stared at it in shock, "Is that?"

"I always want to be here," he repeated.

"That's been under your pillow?" she stared at it, it still wasn't open.

"Robin doesn't really want to watch Friday the 13th," he informed her.

She frowned, "You wanted me to have a nightmare?"

He laughed unexpectedly, "I hardly twisted your arm."

"You bought the movies, mentioned the hayride, all because…" Her eyes danced with amusement, her sweet Jason being manipulative, she kind of loved when that happened.

"Because I want to still be getting sex after the nightmares in 20 years," the corners of his lips twitched up in a smile.

She hit him.

He burst out laughing, "You said it first."

"You don't say it back!" She hit him once more and then burst out laughing.

He used to opportunity to pull her in close and kissed her, "You're everything to me. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life."

"Not with someone perfect like Karen or Keesha?" The worry still nagged that she couldn't live up to his expectations.

"You're perfect," he promised, "you're exactly the person I want and I need and I hope I'm-"

"Beyond perfect," she informed him before she gave him a sweet kiss.

"Feeling is mutual."

"Your mother really hates me since AJ started dating Keesha."

"She doesn't-"

Her eyebrows lifted, "Her head almost exploded when you told her we were moving out."

"She has concerns about our age, it's nothing against you."

Brenda rolled her eyes.

"Why are we talking about my mother?"

"I don't know, there's something glorious and hard in bed…Give me my ring," she smiled.

He laughed at her and opened the box.

-o-o-o-The Church-o-o-o-

The minister nodded at Brenda to begin.

"You believe the best about me, even when I believe the worst. You're my best friend. I have and I will always love and adore you. I love you, unconditionally even when I'm furious with you, this is beyond just this life, this is forever. You're more than just a white knight, you help me rescue myself," Brenda's voice quivered before the congregation, he was everything to her, she had no idea what that even meant until the day she realized she was in love with him.

"Jason," the minister prompted as Brenda finished.

"I had this preconceived notion of what love was. It was easy, it was organized, it was quiet; it was respectful. Then I met you and I had this unconscious need to kiss you. You were brash, you pulled me out of my comfort zone. You turned me down, repeatedly-"

Brenda let out an unexpected cackle and nearly everyone joined in with smiles and laughs.

He was still smiling as he continued, "I still wanted you in my life, no matter how, even just as friends. Of course as soon as I came to terms with that, you told me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me," the crowd joined Jason in a chuckle. "Out of nowhere, you were all in, you were never hesitant, you never questioned us, you just knew. One day you opened your eyes and you forced mine open as well. I didn't just want to kiss you, I didn't just want to be your friend, I want to be there for everything. Love isn't the fairytale, it isn't just good and happy, it's wanting to be there even when it hard, even when it's scary, it's wanting to face the good and the bad together and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than beside you."

"May I have the rings please?" the minister requested.

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's bathroom-o-o-o-

She stared at the little pill, Edward's voice ringing in her ears, reminding her she was a Quartermaine now and no one said she had to work following her graduation. 'Settle down, start a family.'

That wasn't the plan though. Jason was in his first year of med school, always off studying with Karen. She suffered through every tedious class her advisor threw at her. Gritted her teeth and beared through the horrific internship she had been assigned, where everyone was fake and resentful because she wasn't _just _ a Quartermaine, but a Quartermaine and a Barrett. Menial, pointless work for years to come. Sure Jason would say fine, if she wanted to stop working, but she knew what everyone would think, she knew he would be disappointed, but…

She stared at the pill some more.

It wouldn't be her fault. And who could look down at someone wanting to raise their own child. Nannies weren't even an option for her and Jason, not after they had been raised by them.

A little girl to dress up and a few more years to figure out a life plan.

The little pill slid down the sink.

-o-o-o-Kelly's-o-o-o-

"You're in a good mood," Karen remarked as Brenda slid into her chair.

"You aren't off, hogging my husband, of course I'm in a good mood," Brenda beamed, partial truth, but in fact she was mostly relieved to have gotten her period, she had been snappy and nervous ever since she had come to her senses and especially since Jason had pointed out she just needed to survive her internship for one more month and she could find a job that she actually enjoyed. She hadn't even noticed how her bad mood was effecting her already stressed husband, until he had finally snapped back.

Things were good, she was almost through with school, Jason was at the top of his class, Robin would be home soon, and Stone was still responding well to treatment. A crappy internship was just that and her brash decision had no lasting effects. _Yes life was good._

Karen rolled her eyes, "I'd like to think we're friends by now Brenda."

"Of course we are," Brenda lied, knowing that no matter what she would never trust the other woman. She had cheated on Jason, why wouldn't she try to cheat with Jason.

-o-o-o-Jason and Brenda's Bedroom-o-o-o-

"I feel like hell," Brenda pulled the pillow over her head as Jason tried to get her up and dressed for her internship.

"Come on, it's almost over, you just need to make it through another week after today."

She grunted at him.

"I know it's making you depressed, you're sleeping all the time, but you can't miss your hours or your classes this close to the end."

"I'm tired," she defended, "I think I'm sick."

"You're sleepy, you're depressed," he countered.

"I should just stay here, you go out be successful, you'll be better at it anyway," she cuddled into bed.

"Brenda," Jason firmly ordered, he didn't have time for this, but he couldn't watch her implode this close to the end, "you missed class yesterday, you left ELQ early, you need to get up."

"No," she grumbled close to tears, she just wanted to sleep.

"Come on," he sat down on the bed and pulled her up into her arms. "You're getting dressed even if I have to dress you."

"You don't love me, I'm not like those girls in your classes, I can't study and work all the time, it's hell. I don't want to read unless it's an Anne Rice, I don't care about finance."

"You just need to finish this semester," he promised her. "Robin will be home soon, you can spend the entire summer at the house, by the pool. If you don't go now you'll have the repeat all of these classes."

She groaned and whimpered into his shoulder. "But I am so tired."

"I know," he consoled and rubbed her back , worried. "How about I call Kevin, maybe he can-"

"Give me happy pills?" she looked wearily at her husband.

Jason smiled sweetly at her, "Maybe at least some direction. You don't have to do marketing or even business, maybe you could model again, take some photography classes."

"No more classes," she grumbled.

"I know," he nodded, "just make it through these next few weeks and if you want to spend the next four years eating bon bons I won't say a word."

She laughed against her husband's shoulder.

-o-o-o-Kevin's-o-o-o-

"A physical, seriously?"

"There are a lot of physical reasons for being tired, do you want to spend a year talking about why you're tired when you had Lyme disease and you should have been receiving medical treatment."

She rolled her eyes at Kevin. They had just spent an hour discussing Brenda's hatred of school, hatred of all of Jason's pretty, educated classmates. The fact that AJ was practically a pillar of the community because of Keesha's influence and she picked up right where her grandmother left off in serving the community, the Quartermaine's golden couple.

And she, Brenda was directionless. She didn't want to go back to modeling, she knew deep down, it wouldn't make her happy, it sounded thrilling, but she knew it would be empty. Everyone was proud of her for being in school, only Jason knew it was a front and even he had only just figured it out.

"We need to figure out what's going to make you happy, not your family," Kevin nodded at her.

"A nap," she repeated, annoyed she had to go to Kevin's and go through the emotional ringer when all she had wanted was to go home and bury herself under the covers. She had tried to ditch class and take a nap in the library, but a classmate saw her and she had no choice, but to attend.

"I'm going to make an appointment for you over at GH, let me do it now before you leave, maybe they can squeeze you in today."

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's Living Room-o-o-o-

"Hey Kevin," Jason said picking up the phone. "Yea she's right here."

She took the phone, hitting speaker. "I'm dying right. Tell Jason. Let me sleep in tomorrow." Kevin had gotten her in for blood tests right after their appointment, since setting up an actual physical was going to take days.

"Am I on speaker?"

"Considering Jason made me see you," Brenda rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want to speak privately-"

"Is something wrong?" Jason sat up straighter, suddenly flooded with fear. His mother had cancer, Stone had gone for a routine checkup and was diagnosed with HIV…

"There is a physical reason for Brenda's exhaustion, but it's nothing life threatening."

"Do I really have Lyme Disease?" She turned to her husband, "I told you nature was bad."

"Lyme-" Jason began to question.

"You don't have Lyme disease," Kevin interrupted.

"Anemic? You have been looking pretty pale."

"Already diagnosing Jason?" Kevin laughed.

"Am I right?" Jason studied his wife, she looked wrung out, which he had attributed to stress.

"She's moody and tired Jason," Kevin supplied.

"Hey," Brenda frowned.

"See," Kevin laughed.

"You aren't, she isn't," Jason was shaking his head.

"She is."

"Hello, doctor speak. What's wrong with me?"

"I think Kevin was saying you're pregnant."

"Ex-"

"Oh no no no," Brenda shot up with more energy than she'd had in days, "I'm on the pill, I got my period. I'm not pregnant."

"I'm look at the results myself. These levels put you at least past the first month. You should start taking a prenatal vitamin as soon as possible, it might help with your energy levels. Now do you want to keep the appointment for your physical or would you rather see your own doctor."

"I'm not pregnant," Brenda repeated.

Jason laughed despite his shock, "We'll call her doctor. Thanks Kevin."

"Congratulations. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Not pregnant," she shook her head once more as Jason ended the call.

"Come on," Jason smiled at her, "no more books tonight."

"I can't be-" she shook her head.

"I'll get my dad to write you a doctor's note for your morning class."

"I feel sick," her stomach churned.

"Come on, you get a free pass for sleeping. It'll be better in the morning."

"Monica is going to kill me," Brenda muttered.

"It's not like we did this on purpose Brenda," Jason was still smiling with his arm around his wife.

Brenda kept her mouth shut.


	36. Hindsight Part 3

D'oh! What was supposed to be three parts and the final part got BIG, it's being stopped at um 7 thousand (really no idea where they came from) and there will now be a fourth part, which will hopefully be MUCH smaller.

This story is very Brenda centric compared to most of my stories, Jason does get his own little bit in though. I totally write Jason focused because it's the ONLY way to get more out of Jason when you can be involved in all he doesn't say! :-P Interesting switch moving it over to Brenda, gotta make sure to keep her kinda crazy. :-P

Thanks for the reviews guys. I feel like we should be in group therapy together because we're never going to get Brazen babies. Okay I don't even care about the babies, I'm upset that we're never going to get the baby making part! :( You guys are awesome though, you make up for the poopy writers.

* * *

**Hindsight: Part 3**

-o-o-o-Jason and Brenda's bedroom later that night-o-o-o-

She awoke feeling rested, but she was confused by the light or more exactly the lack there of.

She noticed Jason was awake because as always if they weren't sleeping skin to skin, she was always oriented towards him as if he'd disappear as she slept if she didn't keep a watchful eye. His gaze was focused down though.

"There's a baby in there," her ever observant husband _would_ notice her waking even if he wasn't looking directly at her face.

_There was. _She remembered Kevin's phone call, she remembered her denials. She remembered Jason directing her towards the bathroom, there had been a bubble bath created as she sat on the toilet stunned. He didn't leave her alone though once it filled, he climbed in with her, letting her rest against him in the giant tub, he had spoken a few reassuring words, but mostly they had laid there listening to the music. She was half asleep and pruney when Jason finally led her out, he didn't pause at the sink for them to brush their teeth as her ever health conscious husband normally would. He dried her off and slid a tee shirt over her head; she was asleep within minutes of him joining her in bed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He smirked and looked up, "I wasn't looking for an apology."

"Jase-"

"We're having a baby Bren, that's something you celebrate not apologize for."

"But-"

"Do you love me?" He cut her off.

She was silent for a moment, "With all my heart." _He was it, he was everything. _

"Were we going to have kids?"

"Eventually."

"So what does it matter if we have kids sooner rather than later-"

"You wanted to go to Europe this summer, we were going to backpack for a couple weeks, we already have the tickets."

"You were never going to backpack," he smiled at her.

"I-"

He laughed, "I already booked the hotels and Emily promised to ship your clothes."

She smiled at him, she really hadn't been looking forward to backpacking, it was eerily similar to what she had done prior to Port Charles while trying to gain her father's attention.

"Maybe we'll just stay in Italy."

"Two weeks in Italy sounds nice."

"Maybe a few days in Lake Cuomo."

Her eyebrows lifted.

"Grandfather knows people."

"So you're not angry with me?" Brenda couldn't help, but ask.

He laughed again at her and pulled her close, "You are my wife, Brenda, you are my best friend and you are having our baby, I'm the opposite of angry. I love you even more, you've made all of my dreams come true."

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," he said before kissing her.

"Did you get up in the middle of the night to brush your teeth?" she asked in annoyance as she pulled away.

He tried to look innocent.

She continued to fume.

"They've been linking dental issues with heart problems recently."

She shook her head at him and rolled over.

"Where are you going," he laughed at her.

"I'm going to pee and brush my teeth," she shook her head still annoyed.

"Bren-" he laughed.

"No," she adamantly refused to acknowledge him.

"I don't-"

"I'll be back in five minutes," she shook her head once more still annoyed. "Perfect jackass," she muttered under her breath as she walked out their door.

He had her in his embrace seconds later.

"No Jason," she half screamed, half giggled, "let me go."

"Nope you're mine, I want you exactly the way you are."

"Yea yea sweet Jason, but I still need to pee so let me go," she squirmed.

"Br-"

"Pee!"

He laughed and let her go, "You have one minute."

She quickly escaped into the bathroom.

He leaned against the hallway's wall and then frowned at the sounds emerging. "Are you brushing your teeth while you're peeing?"

The "Maybe," was distorted by the electric toothbrush.

He laughed.

-o-o-o-The Q's: A few days in the future-o-o-o-

"Pregnant," Monica's eyes went blank.

Brenda watched the older woman struggling to compose herself as the news settled in. She chose to turn away from the resentment beginning to show on her mother in law's face to the joyful ones near her.

Lila thought the news was 'delightful.'

Edward called for champagne.

Emily became flabbergasted by the word 'aunt' as AJ had said the word uncle.

Alan was repeating the word 'Grandfather' as his smile grew wider and wider.

"Career, wife and now a baby first," AJ said approaching his brother, "are you ever going to let me do anything first?"

Jason laughed and the two men settled in for a quick brotherly hug.

"I didn't know you were trying," Monica finally calmly questioned.

"Life happens Mom," Jason's eyes returned to being wary just as they had when they had first shared the news.

"Of course, it's just with school-"

"Plenty of people have children when they're still in school-"

"Yes, but you-"

"Jason will handle it fine," Alan said still smiling. "They can move back-"

Brenda choked on her water.

"Yea, I feel you. I forgot how much I liked freedom," AJ smiled and took a sip of his juice, having moved out shortly after his brother and Brenda to a house near Ward House.

Edward glared at his grandson, "Of course they're going to move back in, where would they put a nanny and a nursery in that miniscule-"

"It's s two bedrooms," Brenda automatically defended her apartment, granted it did feel smaller than a shoebox when they all came to visit.

"For the immediate future we don't need to worry about the size, the baby can stay in our room."

Brenda turned with a frown to her husband, "Our room?"

"What about the nanny?" Edward shook his head in confusion.

"We're not going to have one," Brenda shook her head, but remained looking at her husband, "repeat this baby in the room with us."

"You're going to be breastfeeding for at least the first six months-"

Her arms protectively crossed her chest, "Excuse me?"

AJ snorted.

"I assumed-"

"You know what they say when you assume-" AJ smirked.

Jason shot a death glare at his brother, "We can talk about this later."

"Brenda studies have been finding-" his mother finally chimed in with something sounding positively baby related, but stopped at she felt her husband pinching her hand.

"So let me see if I've got this straight-"

"Edward," Lila tried to silence her spouse.

"Will you let me speak. I for one am overjoyed this family will have new blood. Lord knows Emily and Brenda were the best additions this family has seen in a long time."

Emily smiled.

Brenda warily looked at her grandfather-in-law.

"You're going to live in a 1200 square foot-"

"1225," AJ and Emily chimed in together as they had heard that figured repeated a great deal when Brenda and Jason had moved out.

"Sorry," Edward nodded, "1225 square foot, two bedroom, walk up with no help, with Jason still in school."

Jason turned to see his wife's horrified face. "We're not moving back in," he quickly argued.

"I'm just saying, the space, the servants, surrounded by family-"

"**Surrounded **by family," Jason locked eyes with his grandfather.

"A new mother…" Edward coaxed.

Jason saw Brenda swallow hard.

"Surrounded by family," Jason repeated to his wife.

"Right," she swallowed hard again, "right. I can totally do this."

"I'll babysit," Emily offered with a smile.

-o-o-o-PCHS 5 Year Reunion-o-o-o-

"I can't believe you," Karen said as they walked towards the drink bar and away from the petty girls that had practically ruled their school.

"What?"

"You practically shoved your ring in their faces. That was the third time, someone was looking at my ring and you had to show them yours."

"That's what women do. We scope out the jewelry, if you have issues with your ring being seen near mine."

"My ring is amazing."

"Of course it is," Brenda nodded.

"It is."

"Then why do you have issues with people seeing our rings together."

The two women were facing off, the smoke practically pouring out of their ears.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jagger exclaimed quickly approaching them. "We've been out of school for half a decade. This has to stop."

"What's going on?" Jason questioned as he arrived.

"I was fine, she was-"

"I'm not the one still trying to buy class," Karen cocked her head.

Brenda shook her head slowly, "Good thing since your family's tried for years and never gotten anywhere."

"Karen," Jagger ordered his wife as he saw her ready to attack.

"Come on," Jason said turning his wife away, "you two can kill each other in seven months."

-o-o-o-Summertime: The Lake-o-o-o-

Robin and Brenda's bright floral towels graced the trucked in sand as they hid at the local public lake from the Quartermaines and their never ending opinions. Brenda was propped up on her elbows and they were both looking down at her slightly curved stomach. "It's weird isn't it?"

"Kinda is," Robin nodded, "it's bigger when you sit like that."

"Yea, he's crunched a little."

"He? You want a boy or a girl?"

"Doesn't matter," Brenda laughed, "not like I'll know what to do with either of them."

"Have you held a baby beside from Georgie?"

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Brenda looked seriously over.

"The hospital has parenting classes," Robin offered.

"Ugh no more classes," Brenda let her elbows go loose and dropped back to the towel.

Robin snorted, "I feel you."

"Robin, Brenda," Sonny approached with a smile.

"Sonny," Robin looked up confused.

"Didn't you have like a ten year sentence?"

"Brenda," Robin snapped at her friend.

"Another jailbreak?"

"Brenda-"

"Still as charming as ever Miss Barrett."

"Quartermaine," Brenda smiled, as always pleased hearing that name instead of Barrett, she resisted the urge to flash her ring.

"That's right, you and Richie Rich, how's that working out-"

"It's working out great Sonny," Stone said approaching his friend.

"Are you serious Stone?" Brenda looked at Robin's ex in annoyance. "He almost killed your brother."

"Actually that was never-" Sonny tried to intercede.

"Just because they couldn't take on another-"

"The charges against Sonny were overturned," Stone interjected. "But enough about that. How are you feeling? You're looking less," he tilted his head, "dead."

Brenda half rolled her eyes.

"Have you been sick?" Sonny quickly questioned with a concerned frown.

"Pregnant," she smiled.

He almost frowned again, but didn't. "Aren't you a little young to be tying yourself down with a kid?"

"I'm 23."

"Only 23?" He smiled at her, "At 23, I would have expected you to be taking over Europe modeling."

"Not my thing."

"It was your thing," his head tilted looking at her.

"Money, fame, _power_," she directed at him, "those things aren't a life."

"But they're certainly fun," the dimples came out.

"I had enough _fun_ then, I like having a life. I like knowing that I'm surrounded by people that care whether-"

"Okay," Stone's eyes went large, "this has been fun, but I see a sunny spot right over there that we should really go claim Sonny."

"Pleasure as always talking to you, Brenda. Great seeing you, Robin," Sonny nodded.

-o-o-o-Robin's Apartment in CT-o-o-o-

"It's nice, but it's still New Haven," Brenda said surveying their work decorating Robin's new studio apartment.

"Sorry Bren, I really did try talking them into moving the school of medicine to Port Charles, but-"

Brenda scoffed at her friend.

Robin laughed.

"Port Charles is good enough for Jason," she argued yet again.

"Jason had boarding school, this is my boarding school."

"Boarding school is highly overrated," Brenda rolled her eyes.

"So is staying in the same town your ENTIRE life. I barely even remember my life before Port Charles."

"Wish I could say the same," she flopped down on to her old couch that she and Jason had donated to Robin's move, it was white and fabulous and obviously very not practical for a family. Jason having already left in the rental truck that had transported Robin's many donated furnishings with Jagger, leaving her alone to face the ride back with Karen so they could have a slumber party. Luckily Karen had gone out for food leaving them alone for a bit.

"Do you want to put your feet up?" Robin said leaning to go clear off the decorative tray from the coffee table, "Or take a nap?"

Brenda silenced her friend with a glare.

"Or give me a death glare that makes me regret being nice to you?"

Brenda laughed. "If you were nice you'd come home."

"I'll be home in a few years, provided Alan offers me-"

"He'll offer you an internship if he ever wants to see his grandchild," she pointed down at her stomach.

"Awww you're using the baby as a pawn before she's even born, I think you finally earned your last name."

The girls both laughed.

Brenda turned serious, "Are you still staying away because of Stone?"

"I was nev-"

Brenda rolled her eyes.

"It hurts sometimes." Robin shook her head slowly. "He's healthy and he's adjusted and he still doesn't want me in his life."

"He wants you in his life."

"As a friend," Robin quickly countered. "How am I supposed to watch him date others-"

"You dated Mario for two years," Brenda pointed out Robin's longest relationship in college.

"Because I have to move on and I can't do that in Port Charles."

"It's been-"

"I know how long it's been Brenda and I'm doing the best I can. I just can't be there every day with him and not be with him."

"Maybe if you were just around more-"

"I came back every break that first year and begged him to give us another chance."

"He was sc-"

"He knows what I feel. He's educated about his disease now and he still doesn't want me back. I need to get over it."

The buzzer rang.

"That's Karen, can we drop this?"

"As long as you promise to come home for your internship."

Robin laughed as she stood, "You know I could have gone abroad for medical school, Paris has a-"

"Paris really? As in I could have shopped and flown home with Jason and slept instead of a five hour drive with Karen and awkward small talk?"

"Why didn't I go to Paris?" Robin turned as she pressed the buzzer.

"Parisians are snooty, you'd have killed them in a week," Brenda smiled.

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's living room-o-o-o-

She turned as the door opened and Jason came in the front door.

"Hey."

"You look vaguely familiar, do I know you?"

"Ugh," he groaned and then dropped onto the sofa next to her.

"You look like this guy I have a lot of pictures with, I'm wearing white, he's wearing a tux, there were tons of people around."

He laughed with closed eyes as his head was already back on the sofa.

"That sound familiar to you?"

"Vaguely."

"You're home before I'm in bed, what's up?"

"There's a storm coming, we figured we should head home and pray for a snow day."

"We? Meaning you and Karen?"

"And Travis and Jeff," he finished as his head rolled to face her.

"Does Jeff have a girlfriend?"

"Karen already tried when Robin was home for Christmas."

Brenda frowned.

"Are you frowning because it didn't work or because Karen tried?"

"Does it matter?"

"Considering I'm home for the first time all week before you're asleep? No." He went to kiss her.

"Seriously dude, I'm like nineteen hundred months pregnant. It's so not happening."

"I had to try," he rolled away and stood. "We have anything good to eat?"

-o-o-o-Brenda's Hospital Room-o-o-o-

"Look at those lips."

Brenda frowned slightly hearing AJ's voice.

"They're like a bow."

Brenda smirked at Jason's.

"Should your daughter's mouth look like a gift?"

She burst out laughing, opened her eyes and rolled her head towards them.

"Don't startle the guy holding the baby," AJ snapped, the panic was evident across his face and his attention snapped back down to the baby he had pulled closer in his haste.

"Whatever, just don't drop her."

AJ scowled at his sister in law.

"Someone needs to remember that line when she starts dating," Brenda said with her eyes half closing.

"Like I can ever forget it," the woe was evident in Jason's voice.

"Yea we're sending her off to a convent when she turns 15," Brenda announced.

"15?" Jason snapped.

"She is-" both AJ and Brenda began.

"Her kid."

"My kid."

"Ugh," Jason groaned.

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's house: 8 days in-o-o-o-

He rubbed the spot on his head that had just connected with the doorway, he still wasn't used to the house Lila had gifted to them at Brenda's baby shower. Bianca was screaming and Brenda was crying, so Jason didn't pause for long to comfort his aching head, instead hoping the bottle in his hand would provide him some relief or at least it would calm one of the two Bs down.

Sure enough the littlest B quieted down as soon as the nipple found her mouth despite the fact that it wasn't her mother's.

"I can't even feed her," the big B continued to be distraught despite Bianca now being calm and in the process of being nourished.

"You're just stressed." They both were after days of little sleep. Jason no longer had any idea what was going on in school just that Karen was pointing him in the right direction and poking him when he started to doze off. She had informed him yesterday that Jagger and Stone had worked out their schedules to help Brenda on the weekend and he was going to her place because they had a test on Monday. He wasn't even sure what class the test was in. He had thrived for the first few days, feeling like superman, but he had crashed quickly and like always Brenda was crashing even more spectacularly than he. He would have to cave and suggest she go over the house when he was at school tomorrow. Brenda needed sleep and the only way she was going to get it was if she was in a different wing than Bianca.

"I'm a failure at this!"

"It's just because we're new," his eyes were already closing, he was thinking about moving back fully onto their bed and trying out the whole family bed sleeping arrangement just so he wouldn't drop his daughter.

"I destroyed our lives!"

His eyes half closed, he loved his wife, he would comfort her in a minute.

"I get stressed and I do the stupidest things."

He frowned slightly wondering what his wife was saying, he needed to go into research and cure crazy hormones, yea that was what he needed to do.

"Three stupid pills," the despair spilled out of every word.

His eyes opened.

"I lost my mind for 3 days! 3 days! And now we're miserable for the rest of our lives? How is that fair?"

Brenda's repeated claims that first night that she couldn't be pregnant made a lot more sense. "You what?" He asked turning to his wife, his voice sounded angry, he hadn't meant for it to sound angry, but he was tired, so very tired.

"I hate marketing," her voice crumbled.

"So you stopped taking the pill?" Again with the angry voice.

"I was desperate."

"Then you talk to me," his voice was just as desperate as hers, "we had this discussion."

"After I already started taking the pill again. It was temporary insanity."

"Why are you just telling me this now?"

"Because I thought we'd be fine and then we weren't. Kevin told you and you were happy and-"

"How did you just stop taking the pill without telling me?" He couldn't understand it, he couldn't fathom it, they were married. Deciding what kind of car he was going to lease for his own use was a two week discussion.

"You sent me to Kevin because you thought I was crazy."

"You were already pregnant."

"Well you should have started paying attention sooner."

"How is this my fault?"

"Because you're angry at me and that's what I do!"

"I'm not angry at you," he forced himself to calm down, it's not like they were yelling, but the tension was definitely thick. Brenda at least had finally stopped crying, of course now his head pounded even further.

"Yes, you are because I ruined our lives and perfect future," her hands went up and the tears started again.

"Brenda, our lives are never going to be perfect. They're going to suck at times."

"You hate me and you're going to come to your senses and leave me because I'm going to keep screwing up like this because I can't be better Jason," she toppled sideways onto her pillow.

He laughed.

"You're laughing at me," her miserable and shocked declaration was slightly muffled by the pillow she had been attempting to drown herself in.

"Where am I going to go? I walked into a wall and I don't even have the energy to get a Tylenol," he laughed.

"Are you okay?" her voice softened with honest concern.

"My head is pounding," he admitted still laughing.

"Are you okay?" she quickly shifted up and crossed the bed to him, her fingers searching for an injury.

"I think I'll live," he continued to chuckle.

"You keep laughing, isn't that a sign of a concussion or brain damage," her fingers continued their search.

"I'm so exhausted I can't even think straight, let alone walk straight," he still laughed.

"Because of me," her head dropped to his shoulder.

"Yea well I'd say don't do it again, but-"

She snorted.

"Yea well you owe me now. I don't want a single complaint when I decide we're having another."

She snorted again.

He laughed.

"Not gonna happen.."

"So no more sex?"

"I'm gonna be so awesome with the pill, even your mother will be proud of me."

"Nah," he smiled and looked down, "she likes Bianca too much."

"Too bad she can get more from Keesha and Emily."

He laughed again, "So do you really think I couldn't switch your pills?"

"You wouldn't."

"Fair's fair."

"That's so not funny," she said shifting up to look at her husband. "You used to be nice."

He laughed again, "And then I married you."

"You're an ass," she hit Jason on the shoulder.

"Hey language," he said looking down to see the baby had dropped off with the nipple still in her mouth.

"How is she so perfect when she's asleep?" Brenda looked down as well to see the fair haired child in her husband's arms.

"I don't know, but it would probably more enjoyable if you'd stop checking her with a mirror to make sure she's still breathing."

"That's your mother's fault," she was quick to inform her husband.

"I know, just try to put it out of your head, you can't watch her every second."

"Mmm," she didn't completely believe him. "So you don't hate me?"

His head tilted to rest against hers, "Really think I could hate you because of her?"

"You walked into a wall," amusement started to tinge her voice.

"And I'm probably going to jail for killing the first boy that looks at her."

She let out a soft laugh.

He looked down with a smile at his sleeping daughter, "I was in love with her before you even admitted you were pregnant." He looked down at the little girl everyone swore was the spitting image of him as a baby, "Before that moment kids were just a requirement of growing up, a chance to do all the stuff I didn't get to do with my dad. Then the moment I knew about her, she just became…"

"Everything," Brenda filled in.

"Exactly."

"I really hope she starts to pick up your temperament soon."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but so do I."

She laughed softly once more.

"I hate to admit this, but I think Grandfather was right."

"We need a nanny," she finished.

"I didn't know it was possible to feel like this and not be in the hospital."

"A night nurse at least," she continued. Then paused with a frown, "Why is she asleep and we aren't?"

"Because in a moment not befitting the Quartermaine name, you were honest."

"Oh right," she tapped his shoulder and leaned back onto the bed, "sometimes you rub off on me. Maybe we could be the black sheep of the family, all moral and crap," she said as she fell back into her pillow.

"I don't think we have to worry about that," he said struggling to lift himself to his feet.

-o-o-o-Bianca's Christening: The Q's-o-o-o-

Her hand clamped over her husband's mouth as he tried to inform Robin and Stone that they were outside as well, hiding in Lila's garden from the crowd inside, already asking about the next one. Robin and Stone had both arrived with dates and Brenda had been waiting for something to occur, the fact that she tried to initiate some type of action between them by making them both godparents, failed before it got off the ground because Jason refused to even budge on AJ being Bianca's godfather. His joking suggestion of they could have another baby immediately for the two exes to godparent had gotten a box of wipes thrown at him.

"You think this is how I wanted it?" Brenda's heart broke at the desperation in Stone's voice. "That I want to watch our friends and our family have the kind of life, we were supposed to have."

"You're the one that stopped our lives before they even began!" Anger and resentment dripped off of every one of Robin's heartbroken words.

"What else could I do?"

"You could have cared more about us than the virus."

"Cared about us? Are you serious? Do you not think that every single, miserable, god damn moment since I was diagnosed hasn't been about us?"

"How has it been about us?" Robin's eyes were large with tears, that redhead that arrived on his arm, certainly wasn't her.

"Because I need to know that you're out there and that you're safe and you can still have a real life."

"All I hear are a lot of Is. Our relationship had two people in it Stone."

"I would die if I ever made you sick. They aren't curing this Robin. I thought they would for awhile, hell before I found out I had it, I was sure they would, but they aren't. Let's face it."

"There are people who have been living with this for almost two decades now. I could die of cancer before then."

"Or you could get cancer from AIDS Robin," Stone yelled even louder.

"There are a million what ifs in life Stone. This is one of those risks that I got to decide, not you."

His voice dropped and started to quiver, "It might make you sick, but it would kill me." His hand trembled against his chest, "I couldn't live with that."

"But you can live with watching me sleep with other men, marry one of them, men I don't love and I never will."

"You just think that now."

"Now Stone?" She shook her head at him, "Now was my first year in college when my roommate thought I was suicidal because I was crying all the time. I made it through college without you and I hated you every single second of it."

"Good," Stone swallowed hard and nodded his head at her. "Hate me, put me out of your mind, forget I ever existed."

"No," her head shook again, "I hated you because I knew how happy I could be, but I wasn't because you wouldn't let me."

"You'd hate me more one day if I got you sick. When you keep watching our friends have children, but we can't."

"There are dozens of ways to have children Stone. We could have a baby, Stone, our own baby. You know the research as well as I do."

"No, I would never risk you like that."

"You are so scared of me dying that you won't let me live. What is the point of it Stone?"

"I can't Robin," he shook his head, "I just can't." He walked back into the house.

Robin crumpled to the ground seconds later and Brenda's arms were around her soon after.

-o-o-o-Brenda and Jason's Living Room-o-o-o-

"She's never coming home," Brenda said as she ended her phone call with Robin as Jason had listened to Brenda's half of the conversation trying to calm his wife as best he could.

"It's a good opportunity Brenda," he tried to reason with her.

"She was already in Yale, Jason!" Robin was going to Paris. Robin was leaving everything and going to finish school in Paris.

His hands lifted and then fell; he didn't have an answer for her. They had all tried reasoning with both sides of the former couple and they had all failed.

"I don't understand how she can just walk away from her life," Brenda sat on the edge of the sofa.

"I think she's trying to figure out how to have a life without Stone," he sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"How does she think Paris is going to be any different than Connecticut?"

"I don't know."

"She's doing it, so she won't have to visit," Brenda nodded slowly. "She's doing it so she never has to come home."

"Br-"

She shook her head at him. "I try to understand her. Understand what she's going through, but I can't. I can't imagine ever giving up on us."

"I know," he nodded.

"They're throwing away their lives. She is never going to be happy without him Jason. She's-"

"I know Brenda," he took his wife's hands.

"I'm horrible and selfish because I miss her."

He laughed softly at her, "I don't think that makes you selfish."

"Yes it does," she laughed down at him, "because honestly I wish they'd get their head's out of their asses so I could get my best friend back."

"What I'm not your best friend?" He feigned pain as he pulled back.

"No," she laughed at him, "because you get to talk about sex with your best friend."

"You can't talk about sex with me?" He smirked and took her hands again as he leaned forward.

"Your ego is bad enough without me adding to it," she laughed.

"My ego?" He repeated in true shock.

"You know you're amazing and perfect in 973 ways."

"973?" He smiled.

"Might be more, I got sick of counting."

He laughed and pulled her towards him.

-o-o-o-The airport-o-o-o-

"I don't want you to go," Brenda clung to Robin as she had been since they got to the airport to say goodbye.

"Think of all the great shopping-"

"I don't want to shop, I want you here."

"I'll pay you to stay," Jason offered quickly from behind Bianca's stroller.

Mac snorted.

"Stop going to school, I'll just sign over my paychecks."

Robin laughed.

"I'm not kidding if you can get her to stop shopping-"

"I totally will," Brenda promised her best friend. "Of course I'd help you spend your earnings."

"Tempting, but I'm still going."

"Had to try," Jason shrugged.

Mac laughed.

"You'll visit right?" Brenda hugged her once more.

"Whenever I can."

"I'll make Edward send the jet if you try to bail."

Robin laughed.

"Can I hug her goodbye yet?" Mac questioned with a smile.

Brenda groaned, but reluctantly separated, forlornly looking on.

Robin was passed around the small group and lingered over Bianca, who was all smiles for her aunt, unaware that her playmate would be gone for many months.

She was backing away slowly when she stopped in shock.

"Stone?" She questioned seeing the love of her life approaching her. Everyone remained silent as Robin eventually noticed the suitcase and bag in his hands, "What are you-"

"Vive la France?" he lifted the bags in a shrug.

She shook her head slowly at him.

"Paris is for lovers right? I can't let you go alone."

"So you're…"

"Ticket's waiting for me at the counter," he nodded nervously.

"But-" her head shook some more.

"C'est la vie?" Stone shrugged.

"That's it? C'est la vie?" She asked in continued shock.

"Let's go to Paris," he nodded at her.

She let out a quick laugh. "Okay," she nodded.

"Okay," he nodded back with a bright smile, relief flooding through him. Stone shifted his duffle to his shoulder before digging around his pocket, pulling out his keys, "My car's totally in the drop off area," he said to Jason.

Jason took the keys with a smile, "I'll take care of it."

"Can you tell Jagger and Karen where I went also?"

"You got it," Jason nodded.

"See ya," he nodded at them before going to take Robin's hand.

"Bye," they called out in unison.

"So you know the only French I know is from Pepe la Pew right?"

She laughed up at him and he used the opportunity to steal a quick kiss.

-o-o-o-AJ and Keesha's Wedding Reception-o-o-o-

"So I'm totally awesome, you can barely see the bump," Brenda said sitting next to Lila, looking at AJ and Keesha during their first dance.

"Brenda," Lila quietly snapped.

"Everyone knows," Brenda rolled her eyes.

"It is not polite talk for their wedding."

"Please at the rate they were going planning the wedding," she rolled her eyes again.

"I was beginning to doubt it was ever going to happen," Lila conceded.

"I can't believe AJ actually grew up."

"For that, we're all grateful."

"Where are our husbands," Brenda suddenly asked realizing they would soon be calling for married couples to join in.

"Most likely mine is up to no good as yours is trying to stop him," Lila smiled.

"Doesn't he know aggravating Jason is my job," she smiled back.

-o-o-o-Lila's sitting room-o-o-o-

"Are you bored my dear?" Lila questioned her granddaughter as she stared out of a window.

"No, of course not," Brenda quickly snapped back to reality.

"You don't have to help me with this," she referred to the charity event she was organizing.

"What?" Brenda shook her head, "No. I love helping you. I'd lose my mind otherwise."

"You have been out of school for a year and a half my dear."

"I'm raising a child," she pointed at the door, her child was out there somewhere.

Lila raised her eyebrows, currently Reginald was caring for Bianca, just as he did most days Brenda was at the house. The staff was always quick to steal away the little angel as soon as she arrived.

"Okay I don't know how people are with their kids 24 hours a day, I need a break so I still like her at the end of the day."

"Trust me my dear, I know. I raised Tracey."

Brenda laughed.

"There is nothing wrong with you having a career or going back to school."

"No," she shook her head, "Jason and I decided that-"

"You don't want Bianca raised by nannies, but it's hardly the same thing when she'll be in a house with her family."

"No," Brenda shook her head some more, "I want to be her mother full time. This is enough for me."

"As long as you're sure my dear. I know with Jason at the hospital so much-"

"I'm fine," Brenda nodded.

-o-o-o-The Park-o-o-o-

"Hey," Brenda smiled seeing Jagger as she pushed Bianca in her stroller as they headed towards the swings on a beautiful spring day waiting for Jason to get a break at work so they could get lunch with him.

"Hey yourself," he smiled and put a hand on the shoulder of the young boy with him.

"You must be James," Brenda smiled. The foster child Jagger had talked Karen into taking in after he kept running away from the group home and Jagger had been the officer to find him. He was ten and had been in the system since he was 6 when his mother had gone into jail on drug charges.

The boy remained mute.

"Come on Jimmy, say hi to Brenda and this is Bianca," Jagger squatted next to the 16 month old blonde. "Jason's daughter."

"Jason told me all about you," she smiled, "he said you're totally awesome at basketball and you used to play at your old school."

"Till they got rid of me," the little boy muttered still angry at his old foster parents that had moved, and left him behind.

"Does your new school have a basketball team?"

"We signed him up at St. Timothy's."

"That'll be great. I can't wait to see you play."

He frowned at her. "You like sports?"

Jagger laughed.

"I'm learning to," she conceded.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	37. In the Blink of an Eye Part 4

This was supposed to be wrapped up in this chapter. Then it grew and grew and grew. Next part is the last part I swear.

Um sorry to anyone that thought they were getting an update when I organized the other day. Stories are again in order and there is a story summary on page one. So if you ever feel like rereading one you don't have to hunt for it.

If you're wondering which fic is this, it's the one where the past decade and a half on the show was the life AJ saw if Jason was hurt in that accident. So AJ gave his life to keep Jason safe. Which leads me to as always go, "I love AJ." AJ fic is totally needed soon. :-P

* * *

**In the Blink of an Eye **

**Part Four**

* * *

-x-X-Brazen's House: Christmas Eve '98-X-x-

Veronica spun with her granddaughter in her arms.

"Veronica," Jason quickly approached the older woman, newly appeared in their life, "give me the baby."

"We're just playing."

"She's only 9 months," Jason said snatching away the infant. It was suspicious enough that the woman had only made a miraculous return from the dead on the heels of Brenda's return to modeling and the worldwide blitz Lucy had set up.

"Brenda loved doing this when she was little. She would giggle and giggle. You're just like Harlan, always trying to stop our fun."

"Maybe Harlan was just trying to keep Brenda safe." Jason snapped, he didn't quite know what was wrong with Veronica, but he knew it was something. There were moments when she seemed fine, but others when…

"Jason," Brenda scolded her husband as she walked into the room.

"Don't worry dear," Veronica rushed to her daughter, "I won't ever let another man scare me away from you."

-x-X-Mid-January '99-X-x-

"No," Brenda crumpled into Jason's arms as Veronica was carried off, sedated and restrained. "I can't…please I can't lose her again."

"Brenda, she needs to be hospitalized, she's a danger to more than just herself."

"No," she shook her head, "we can get a nurse. We can watch her."

"We can't leave her in the house with Amanda," he held on firmly to her.

"She's just having a bad day."

"Brenda, this is Huntington's. This isn't a bad day, it's only going to get worse."

"So if I get sick. You're just going to lock me up, get rid of me, just like my dad. Are you going to tell Mandy I died too?"

"You're not going to get sick," he promised her. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"You don't get a say in the matter."

"Bren-"

"You're just like him Jason," she walked away.

-x-X-PCH: A few days later-X-x-

"What are you doing here?" Brenda asked icily as she opened the hotel door to Julia. The hotel suite she had moved into when her husband refused to support her efforts to get her mother released from Ferncliff.

"Oh sweetie," Julia stretched out a hand to touch one of Brenda's sunken cheeks.

Brenda flinched and pulled back, "I know you're the one that told him."

"You needed to know the truth about her."

"I needed my mother. I needed her for over twenty years and you had no right to take her from me."

"Sweetie, we're just trying to keep you safe."

"You had my mother committed." Brenda's head cocked, "You're just waiting to have me committed too, aren't you?"

"Brenda, you're being paranoid. When was the last time you slept?"

Brenda stepped away again as Julia moved towards her.

"Brenda," Julia looked around the hotel room, "where's the baby?"

Brenda studied her sister in disgust, "You have no idea what it means to be a mother. I would never hurt Amanda, just like Veronica would never hurt me. Shame the same can't be said about sisters."

"Brenda, where is Amanda."

"Get out!"

"Not until you tell me where the baby is," Julia started flinging open doors, looking in the bedrooms, and bathroom for the baby.

"Get out," she repeated firmly.

"Where is the baby," Julia's hands went to Brenda's shoulders and she shook her.

Two quick raps on the door sent Brenda wrenching herself free from Julia's grasp.

"Things look a lot more sinister when you're looking for them to be," she opened the door to reveal Jason carrying Amanda.

"Hi munchkin," Brenda smiled as she took her daughter.

"Br-" Jason began.

"Get out and take her with you," Brenda ordered. "Put your hands on me again, I'll call the cops," she icily informed her sister.

-x-X-Brenda's House: End of January '99-X-x-

"Good morning," Sonny smiled down at Brenda and Lucy having a breakfast meeting at the hotel's restaurant.

"Oh no, you mister, get away."

Brenda ignored Lucy, "Good morning Sonny."

"Good morning Amanda," Sonny smiled down at the little girl who was still a clone of her father.

She gave him a still gummy smile with only four front teeth showing.

"Is that banana good?"

She held out a slimy handful of banana to him.

"Thank you."

Brenda laughed and handed him her napkin.

"Thank you," he laughed over at her. "I can't believe how big she's getting."

"Okay seriously, you need to leave because I have a meeting in twenty minutes," Lucy informed the charmer.

"What did I ever do to you Lucy?" Sonny questioned.

"You nearly got my top model flattened."

"Lucy," Brenda tried to hush her up.

"You are married," Lucy's eyes were wide.

"Yes, I-"

"He is married."

"He's saying hi," Brenda defended.

Lucy harrumphed.

"Go to your meeting," Brenda ordered.

"Be careful," Lucy commanded sweeping up from her seat to give the baby a kiss and Sonny a dirty look.

"Didn't mean to cause you any trouble."

"Actually," Brenda looked up with a smile, "you were just the person I was hoping to see."

"Really?" Sonny smiled back, "Any why exactly is that?"

"Let's go for a walk," she nodded.

-x-Early February '99-x-

"My mother is fine Jason," Brenda tried to storm away from her husband, but he pulled her back as they argued in her rental house because Brenda had refused to live in the house they had purchased together.

"She is not okay Brenda, she is sick and you cannot be alone with her."

"I'm not alone with her. She has a nurse. I'm not as stupid as Julia thinks I am."

"Julia doesn't think you're stupid, she's wor-"

"Oh please you both think I'm an idiot, but she is my mother Jason."

"I know she's your mother-"

"Then trust me to make decisions regarding her."

"I just think you're thinking with your heart and not your head."

Brenda crossed her arms.

"The doctors said-"

"Dr. Horton released her," Brenda shut her husband up. Sure Dr. Horton might have been enticed by Sonny to do so, but the end effect was just the same.

"Okay, just come home, you can bring Veron-"

"What Jason? Are you going to pad her room? Put up bars on the window? Guards outside her door?"

"Brenda can you seriously blame me for being worried about you and Amanda?"

"I can take care of my daughter and my mother Jason."

"What about me? Your husband."

"When you start treating me with respect and as your equal we can talk about that."

-x-X-Late February '99-X-x-

"Where's Brenda?" Jason asked Lucia, the nanny, who had been with Amanda since soon after her birth, she seemed nervous today as he was picking up the baby at the house Brenda had rented.

"She's out running errands."

"Well while I'm here. I'm going to go up and see Veronica, talk to her nurse."

"Uh you can't do that…They uh went out."

"Really, where did they go?" Jason probed.

"Doctor's appointment."

"Without Brenda?"

"She's meeting them."

"What happened?" Jason demanded answers, Lucia's nerves paired with the clipped answers left no doubt in his mind that something had happened.

"Veronica slipped out while the nurse was going to the bathroom."

"Did you call the police?"

"Brenda wanted to try to find her first. Veronica's been complaining about being cooped up."

"I want you to get out of the house in case Veronica comes back."

"But-" Lucia looked her employer nervously, unsure of Brenda's reaction.

"Anywhere, but our house in case she tries to go back there. Go to a movie, check into the PCH, anywhere just keep your phone on."

"I told Brenda that woman wasn't right. My mother had dementia, but that woman."

"She's sick, very sick," Jason nodded at her. "Come on," he nodded again, "grab your bag. I'll put Amanda in her car seat."

-x-X-x-

"Is something wrong with Amanda?" Brenda answered her phone as she was driving.

"Where are you?"

"Out."

"Did you find her yet?"

Brenda grimaced. "No, but I think I know where she was going."

"Where?"

She breathed a sigh of relief, "I see her. She's fine."

"Where are you?"

"The Point," she had taken her mother up to the vista to talk when she had first returned.

"You're right by Shadybrook, just stay in the car and I'll call-"

"Jason, I'm just going to talk to her. We'll be back before you know it," Brenda hung up the phone and went to open her door.

Jason cursed and started his car.

-x-X-x-

It was a clear day so he could see their blue Volvo coming down the cliff side road as the Jeep climbed up it. He breathed a sigh of relief and tried to remember if there was another place for him to turn around besides the top or if he had passed them all already.

Their cars passed each other and she smiled at him in relief and started to lower her window, he was smiling back until he saw the look on Veronica's face. Brenda turned just as her mother grabbed the wheel and the next thing Jason knew the car was hurtling over the cliff.

He acted on instinct as he pulled the car into a hairpin turn that send him flying back down the road, he could hear the impact the car made with the lake down below and see it submerging once he was on the opposite side of the road. He called 911 in the seconds it took him to race down Old Bluff Lane and was soon on the lake himself racing towards the half submerged car, across the thin cracked ice that the car had easily broken through. He fell through the already fragile ice well before he intended to and fought with the sheets of ice and frozen water as he tried to reach her.

Brenda was unconscious against the steering wheel and deflated airbag, her face already in the water and didn't respond to his screams. His frozen hands battered against the window to no avail, he slid and he fell as he tried to push himself up on the car so he could get his arm through the window's opening, but quickly gave up as the opening proved too small. His fingers too clumsy from the cold dropped the keys he pulled out of his pocket to shatter the window, so he pulled himself up on the car and kicked at the back window. It finally shattered allowing him to unlock Brenda's door and pull her out.

"Come on Bren," he pulled her head out of the water and sought a pulse. He prayed his frozen fingertips were misleading him as he felt none. Veronica's eyes opened and Jason unlocked her belt, "You need to swim out. I've got to get Brenda to land."

He didn't know if she understood or would follow, he couldn't find it within him to care as Brenda was lifeless in his arms.

It was a long struggle to get her to the shore as the ice kept cracking beneath them and he kept trying to breathe for her. He quickly sprung into action and began CPR and soon Brenda was on her side coughing out water. His heart was pounding in his ears along with the emergency sirens so he didn't hear the drenched Veronica approaching him from behind, a rock raised above her head. Brenda's eyes went wide and she jerked, so Jason twisted back, his hands going straight for the rock, prying it out of her grasp, but she continued to fight against him. Tearing at him and scratching at him until the police pried her off of him.

Brenda was still coughing and gasping for breath as Jason returned to her, supporting her back, "Just try to relax, try to breathe normally. The paramedics will be here soon." He refused to pay any attention to Veronica's screams in the background.

"She," it was the first word Brenda managed to get out.

"You're safe," he promised.

"She-"

"It's going to be okay," he swore, "she's going to get the help she needs."

"I-" Brenda shook her head.

He shifted their positions so he could see her, "You were trying to help her Brenda."

"I'm pregnant," she confessed in fear and self-loathing, realizing her actions hadn't just put Amanda and Jason at risk, but might have cost her baby its life.

He pulled her into his arms and held her. He didn't know what else to do so he prayed.

-x-The Hospital-x-

"So far she looks good," the ER doctor told him.

"What about the baby?"

"Dr. Bell's on call today, he's on his way down now to take a look. There are no signs of a miscarriage yet."

"But there still could be."

Jason's colleague didn't answer him back because he knew it wasn't a question, "We'll keep her overnight and go from there."

He nodded and turned to walk back to Brenda's exam room.

Karen had stayed with Brenda during her exam and was still there, only now she had an ultra sound machine. Karen looked anxiously over, as if expecting to see Dr. Bell or an ultrasound technician scolding her for using the machine.

He shut the curtains behind him, "What do you see?"

"We just started," Karen turned back to the screen.

Brenda's head was back and her eyes were closed.

"Okay there's the amniotic sac, I don't see any issues. Jason?"

He moved in closer and took the wand, "The sac, the placenta, look fine to me." In the middle of it all was a large headed baby, just over an inch long. "Heart's beating. What are you? 9 weeks? 10?"

"10," Brenda still didn't look at him.

Her waist was already thickening, noticeable changes were occurring with her body and she had never stopped to mention it to her husband. _Now wasn't the time for that though. _

"I'm going to go see about getting you moved to a private room," Karen smiled as Jason was cleaning off Brenda's stomach.

"Thank you," Brenda still wasn't making eye contact.

"No problem, page me if you need me."

Jason nodded.

"Is the baby actually okay?"

"For right now," he was honest. _He always was with her._

"I couldn't deal with fighting with you about anything else," she explained the large omission.

"We don't have to talk about it. You need to stay relaxed. More stress is the last thing you need."

She let out an ironic laugh, "My mother, just drove me off a cliff," she half sobbed, "relax?"

"Try," he ordered.

-x-X-x-

"Hey," Carly smiled at him carrying a brown bag, "figured you could probably use something more comforting than hospital food."

"Thank you," he nodded and accepted the bag.

"There's mac and cheese, French fries, and a bacon cheeseburger."

He laughed, "Heart attack in a bag?"

"And a cup," she lifted the milk shake in her other hand.

He laughed again.

"Comfort food Jase," she nodded knowingly at him. "How's Brenda doing?"

"Fine," he nodded, "she just fell asleep."

"That's good. Do you want me to keep you company while you eat?"

"Sounds good," he nodded in the direction of the break room. Emily was currently in Brenda's room reading, so he wasn't worried about leaving her alone. Oddly enough Carly had been comforting these past few weeks. Once away from the pressures of his family and left alone with only their children, Carly had relaxed. He often found himself thinking of AJ in her company, he was pretty sure they would have been friends and pretty sure Carly wouldn't have ended up with his father.

-x-A few days later at Brenda and Jason's house-x-

"Did you sleep with Sonny?" Jason asked when the lights were off and they were in bed. He'd always known eventually he was going to have to ask, but the most pressing step after Brenda's accident had been getting her and Mandy home. They could deal with everything else later. He wanted to avoid it, he wanted to sweep it under the rug and whether she lied to him now or told him an awful truth, he at least wouldn't see it in her eyes. It could be said and erased all in one fell swoop because he couldn't lose her.

"I kissed him." She lied to Jason about a lot of things, taking her vitamins, not minding when he worked so many hours she almost forgot what he looked like, enjoying Indian food, but the one thing about Jason, the one thing about them that had made this all work was they didn't lie about things that mattered.

"You just kissed him?"

Technically, he had kissed her, but she hadn't stopped him. He had kissed her and he erased it all. Years apart. The fact that she had been a failure at being a mother even before her daughter was born, the fact that she was pregnant again and separated, the fact that the happy little life she had envisioned with Jason had turned into a crumpling mess. She _was the charity case Keesha had accused her of being. "Yes."_

"Why?"

"Because I'm the screw-up. I'm the person that believes that ignoring Huntington's can make it go away. That a medical opinion is a personal attack. That going to a mobster is fine as long as it means I get what I want."

"Why'd you only kiss him?" He knew all that other stuff. He knew life with Brenda was frequently dramatic, he had never expected them to be perfect, but that never made him want her any less. Easier never meant better.

"Just because I hated you Jason didn't mean I didn't still love you."

That word cut him just as it had when she had decided to move out in the middle of a screaming match. She had viewed his committal of her mother as a personal attack against her. He knew that they still needed time to recover from that, that the wounds from her childhood had only been hidden and had never healed.

"I trusted you to never hurt me," she whispered, "and it hurt more than anything ever has. It was like if I didn't get angry, if I didn't close myself off, I would have fallen apart and I…I can't go through that again."

_The postpartum depression._

"I was just trying to protect you."

"I know Jason, but she's my mother and I don't have a medical degree. What I had was finally a mother and you were trying to take her from me."

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Thanks for reading! (Btw I'm totally aware that this story isn't _interesting_, but man it's kind of comfortable. Brenda and Jason seem to like it here, they don't want to leave. :-P )


	38. In the Blink of an Eye Part 5

AN: Lol. Brenda turned to Sonny because it's a soap opera and I like that they still could have been awesome and had great storylines and been together. :-P Not to mention her husband loves her too much to help her self destruct and risk their daughter.

**Warning: VERY LONG!**

Thanks for reading and the great reviews throughout this little fic. No Veronica because she didn't fit in to the time frame I used, but she was still around in the hospital during the blurbs, drama with her would have been a later storyline. Lori got her blurb in though with Edward. Lol. I swear you guys have a magical ability to implant parts into my head so they HAVE to happen.

::Sigh:: I actually hate ending things if you haven't noticed. Sadly a necessary evil. Let's hope GH doesn't have to do the same any time soon because seriously I will boycott ABC. Seriously they need to get on a path to good storylines NOW and who the hell needs ANOTHER talk show? Maybe just have black screens between the morning news broadcast to the evening one at this point. That'll save a boatload of money right and probably be just as interesting.

* * *

**In the Blink of an Eye**

Part Five

* * *

**-x-The Park: July 4th 1999-x-**

_Sonny:_

Brenda had on a red sundress, her dark curls tumbled just past her shoulder. She looked like his, only she wasn't.

The six month baby bump had long since left subtle and Jason was holding a very patriotic looking Mandy away from her as she tried to cover her in bug spray again. Jason jumped as she sprayed the back of his knee by accident and soon they were both laughing.

"Disgusting aren't they?"

Sonny turned to see Carly Quartermaine in a sleeveless, red and white checkered, tied up shirt and a denim skirt. "Excuse me?"

"Yea see I'm not your wife, don't pretend you weren't looking." Her head cocked as she looked at them, now disgustingly caught up in a quick kiss. "You know if Veronica had just held off on the impulse to kill Brenda…" She shook her head.

_Brenda and Jason would have finished imploding. _

"Aren't you his stepmother?" Sonny pointed out that fact.

Carly didn't even look for her husband, who was off playing with Morgan, she knew something was going on between him and Monica. Sadly, infidelity wouldn't affect their prenup, at least not his. "Didn't your wife just have a second baby?"

_Anthony._

"I would say it's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Quartermaine," his head cocked.

"You don't need to get so defensive with me," she smirked, "it can be our little secret."

"I'm going to get back to my family; I suggest you do the same."

**-x-Brazen's house: Thanksgiving 1999-x-**

"Why don't we ever have Thanksgiving here?" Jason asked as he strapped Tyler into his carrier.

She paused fighting with her daughter over her jacket and gave her husband a dirty look.

"I'm serious, we're a family. Shouldn't we be creating family traditions here?"

"Our house is too small to handle that much infighting."

"I meant without them."

She looked tempted for a moment, then finished zipping up Mandy's jacket. "Never gonna happen Jase. Might as well give up that dream."

-x-The Car-x-

Jason took two Excedrin and passed the bottle over to his wife, she took two and passed the bottle back to Emily wedged in-between the two car seats.

"Do we have Pepto or an antacid or something?" Emily questioned after the home cooked meal Monica had prepared and unfortunately served

"We should get our stomachs pumped," Brenda placed a hand on hers.

"Why did Mom try to cook? Jason questioned.

"She's been reading this self-help book that told her she was failing at being a wife and mother because she wasn't doing all the 1950's housewives crap."

"Are you sure she isn't trying to kill Dorman?" Brenda questioned with her hand still on her stomach.

-x-The Q's-x-

The bystanders remained quiet as the fighting approached them. They had just been about to sit as Carly came storming into the room with Alan on her heels.

"Why don't I just save you all the trouble," Carly announced walking into the room, their eyes barely had time to go wide before Carly's hands were on the table cloth and they watched as dinner seemed to fall in slow motion.

"Real mature Carly," Alan yelled out after her as she left the room.

-x-The Car-x-

"We need to start traveling for the holidays," Jason announced once they were all buckled in.

"Oh yea," Brenda and Emily replied in unison.

**-x-January 2000-x-**

"So are we sure that-"

Jason turned and gave his wife a look.

"What I'm just-"

"My parents did not kill Pierce Dorman and that's the story we're sticking with."

-x-X-x-

"We really shouldn't be meeting," Sonny said as he embraced Carly in their love nest.

"But I missed you, didn't you miss me?"

"You're supposed to be playing the scorned wife."

"I am the scorned wife."

"What are Alan's lawyers saying?"

"It doesn't look good," Carly told him with a pleased smile. "Pretty soon Alan and Monica will be in jail. My lawyer says he'll be able to get the prenup tossed out with no problem once Alan's been convicted and then I can kick out the rest of his miserable family and it'll just be you, me and Morgan in that big house."

Sonny smiled at her. Pierce Dorman had to be taken care of and all of his late father-in-law's connections had made this setup a little too easy. _Millions more, the mansion._ He should probably feel worse about the whole thing, but it wasn't his fault Alan and Monica's past had made them such easy scapegoats and maybe just maybe he was looking forward to being in that house and raising Morgan. Jason Quartermaine might have his love, but Sonny Corinthos would at least have his house and brother.

**-x-The Q Gardens: September 2000-x-**

Brenda smiled walking carrying Tyler as Mandy chased down the aisle after her aunt, Sonia and uncle, Morgan. The two and a half year old didn't realize just how odd it was that her aunt and uncle from two different grandparents were only a year older than her. Brenda's little girl was just happy and forgot she was currently a part of her grandparents wedding ceremony as she spotted her father and ran to him after being apart the whole morning. Jason laughed from his spot next to his father and he scooped her up. Brenda tried to take Sonia by the hand and keep her to the side with her, but as soon as Monica and Emily made their way down the aisle. Sonia however, gave up on staying still and went to demolish a flower arrangement with her soon to be brother and soon their little niece was demanding to be put down to join.

Brenda simply smiled at her peculiar family, holding her sleeping son, ignoring the fact that her arms were going numb from his weight. It was a good day to be a Quartermaine. No one was in jail and everyone was back where they belonged.

**-x-Sonny's Penthouse: Christmas 2000-x-**

Lily kicked him out of their house the day she found out Carly was pregnant. Sonny harbored no illusions that his mistress' pregnancy was anything other than a means of latching onto her next sugar daddy. Her divorce settlement was generous, but Sonny knew she was looking for obscene and she was looking for power.

Lily had even refused to allow the kids over to the penthouse; she told Sonny if he wanted to spend any time with his children then it would have to be at her house and under her rules. He had listened to Carly whine the night before when he returned from Christmas service about how he was going to leave her and Morgan all alone on Christmas morning and made him promise that after the holidays he would let his lawyer file the papers for full custody. Lily's father was dead and Rivera's Allies weren't hers, but Sonny's, he would buy his children if he had to.

**-x-Brazen's: August 2000-x-**

"Jake is cute isn't he?" Brenda innocently questioned as Robin returned to her side at the summer party.

"Don't start," Robin rolled her eyes.

"He's single now," Brenda pointed out after years on and off with his fiancée, Danielle, she had left town.

"Brenda-" Robin warned, she knew she hadn't gotten as serious with anyone since Stone as Brenda would have liked, but she just hadn't met the right person.

"Okay," Carl, an arriving partygoer announced, "you're not pregnant again that's a good sign. Did you have quads or something. You're retiring and moving to Florida?"

Brenda laughed at the same game played every year at the party. Dating. Wedded. Baby. Pregnant. Had certainly been a lot and that wasn't the half of it.

"It isn't separating again is it? Because if it is," he pointed at himself.

"Hands off the wife," Jason announced as Brenda loudly laughed again.

"Good to see you man!"

"You too."

"So retiring?"

"I haven't worked in half a year, does that count?" Brenda suggested.

"Ah, so another baby next year."

Brenda laughed, "No more babies. One of each, we're good."

**-x-Easter 2001-x-**

"Come on," the giant blue bunny rabbit that was Alan clapped his furry hands together. "Everyone."

"Don't look at me," Brenda shot a look right back at her husband sitting next to her on the couch, "he's your father."

"We can't do it unless everyone's up here," Alan threatened with a smile.

"Even Grandma?" Morgan questioned.

"Grandma is our audience, but Grandpa needs to get up here."

"Grandpa," Mandy ran and grabbed her great-grandfather's hands, it hadn't been worth it to try to convince her to call Edward anything else since Morgan and Sonia called him that.

He sighed and took her hands allowing her to lead him over.

"You're supposed to be a grown man, Alan."

"I'd rather be a good father," Alan smiled, his father's good-natured barb didn't affect him in the slightest today.

"Come on you two," Monica ordered the couple up, since Emily was already standing with her.

"Jasonnnn," Morgan whined.

Jason laughed at his little brother and pulled his wife up, who continued to whine, he ruffled Morgan's hair as he joined the line.

"Okay everyone, hands on the hips of the person in front of you," Alan announced.

"Um seriously?" Brenda questioned looking down at her very small brother in law.

Alan turned back with a frown, "Good point. New line. If you can make it under my hand over here. "

Emily tried to limbo her way under, but Jason pulled her back with a laugh.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

Alan lined up the kids and he stood in between the two lines, now facing Lila.

"Hands on hips, we'll go to the right first," he waved right left hand, "Reginald."

The bunny hop turned on.

"You put your right foot out."

The kids struggled to get their foot out in time twice.

"You put your left foot out."

Same issue.

"Up."

The kids hopped on each other and laughed.

"Back."

Tyler got knocked over.

"Hop, hop, hop."

Lila had tears in her eyes by the time they were done.

**-x-The Hospital May 2001-x-**

"When's Grandma gonna wake up?" the small girl with pale green eyes and light brown hair asked as Jason walked out of the room where he hadn't been able to revive the grandmother. He had spoken to the little girl briefly before he put a nurse in charge of her and finding her parents.

"Is your mommy here with you?"

She shook her head.

"What about your daddy?"

Another head shake.

"I'm sorry Dr. Quartermaine, I only turned my head for a second," the young nurse apologized.

"She isn't with anyone?"

"It was just her and the grandmother at the park."'

"Me 'n Grams. All we need," the little girl smiled at Jason just as she had to the nurse earlier.

"Do you know where your mommy or daddy is?" Jason asked squatting down.

"Mommy's out playing with friends."

"Has she been out with them long?"

The little girl nodded vigorously, "Forever," she dragged out the word.

"What about your daddy?"

"I don't have one."

"Any aunts? Uncles?"

"Nope, just-"

"Just you and your grandmother," Jason sighed.

She smiled again.

"I need to make some calls," Jason stood and nodded at the nurse, "can you watch her for awhile?"

"No problem Dr. Quartermaine. You're wife and kids-"

His eyes closed, "They're here for lunch."

"They've been waiting like ten minutes."

"Okay thanks," he nodded, "have you eaten yet Allie?" He looked down at the little girl.

"Grandma has sandwiches in her bag."

"You know they have pizza here?"

"Really?" Her eyes went wide.

"You want to go get lunch with my wife? I have a daughter…How old are you?"

"Almost five!"

"Manda's three, but she's probably more interesting than any of us. So what do you say? You want to go get lunch with them and I'll come down for in fifteen minutes?"

She quickly agreed and Jason took her by the hand to where he knew Brenda would be waiting. Brenda plastered a smile on her face as he approached even though he could see the confusion in her eyes. "Hi, I'm Brenda."

"I'm Allie, you're really pretty," the green eyes studied Brenda.

Brenda lit up, "Why thank you, so are you." The kids were shy and hiding behind Brenda's legs, "This is Amanda and Tyler," she touched their heads.

"You mind taking Allie to the cafeteria for lunch? I had something come up."

Brenda's eyes went knowingly wide, "We'll have a great time. Right guys?"

The kids were starting to creep out and check out the new girl. They were shy, they played with their family and their neighbors; they weren't use to new faces and this was yet another sure sign they needed to do something about that.

"Play nice guys," Jason smiled at his children. "I'll be down in a few minutes," he nodded.

Brenda nodded.

"K," replied Allie who was staring at the diamonds on Brenda's ring.

-x-Home-x-

"How's Allie?" Were the first words out of Brenda's mouth as Jason walked into the living room, they had been the first words out of her mouth every time they talked today.

His head shook slowly. He and the social worker had both tried to find any family for her, but at the end they had failed and she ended up in foster care. No matter how he explained it she couldn't understand why she couldn't stay with her grandmother and why they weren't going home, especially since she had to feed O'Malley, her cat. "No change."

"Did you speak to the landlord?" Brenda asked leaning on the back of the couch while the kids played on the carpet in front of the tv. Her husband would always be the man, who would go hunting for answers even though it wasn't his job. She hadn't even blinked when he said he was going there after work.

"He said it was just them."

"Feed the cat?"

His eyes went wide.

"Jason, you did not bring a cat home."

"What if something happened to the cat in the shelter before they find her family?"

"Jason it could be feral or something," she shook her head.

He laughed, "Trust me, it's not." The long haired overweight yellow cat had greeted him with a nuzzling of his legs and hadn't even flinched being picked up to be put in the carrier.

"What if the kids are allergic?"

"Emily has a cat," he pointed out. It had been a consolation prize for having to live with Dorman.

"Cats use litter boxes."

"We have Lucia. Didn't you want a cat once?"

"No I wanted a dog and you wouldn't let me get one because you thought I would kill it."

"You've done pretty well with the kids, they're mostly fed and clean. I think you're ready for a pet," he smiled.

She rolled her eyes.

"Hey guys," the kids looked up from the toys they were playing with, which had been more interesting than greeting him. "You remember Allie?"

"We had pizza," Mandy chimed with a smile.

"Yea, well she needs someone to watch her cat. So we're going to take care of it for awhile."

"Kitty?" Tyler's eyes went wide he scrambled around the couch.

"Yea a kitty Tyler," Jason scooped his son up. "But you gotta be gentle, soft with the kitty."

"Should I have the paramedics on standby?" Brenda drawled.

"We're getting a kitty?" Mandy's eyes were wide.

"We're borrowing a kitty, remember what that means? We have to give it back."

"But I want a kitty!"

"Kitty!" Tyler started getting antsy.

"Oh this is going to be great," Brenda was definitely not pleased.

"Okay I'm going to get the kitty, but remember you have to be soft," he put his son down. "Stay here," he ordered his children as they tried to follow him out of t he room, "I'm going to bring him in."

The orange cat was more than pleased to be released and didn't even mind going straight into Jason's arms.

"KITTY!" Both of the children screamed and ran towards Jason.

-x-Amanda's bedroom-x-

The big fat orange cat was taking up the bottom half of their daughter's toddler bed. They had at least talked her out of suffocating the cat as she tried to sleep with Thomas O'Malley as if he was her favorite teddy.

Brenda glared at her husband as they checked in on the sleeping pair, to ensure she had actually let the cat go to sleep, since she had kept poking him with her foot, when they had been in the room.

"What?"

"When they have a mental breakdown because that cat has to leave, you're dealing with it."

-x-Allie's foster home-x-

Jason and Brenda snuck the cat out the next by distracting the kids with a trip to the park with Emily. The kids stalked the cat everywhere he went, they even tried demanding breakfast on the floor with him and every time the adults looked away they turned back to see their kids lapping up their breakfast.

"Tom Tom," Allie ran towards her cat as a foster sister opened the door and quickly left.

"Oh no," the foster mother's eyes were wide as she walked up behind Allie, "no cats here. I'm allergic."

"We just brought him by to visit," Brenda quickly silenced the other woman.

"He can't stay?" Allie's lip quivered.

"Remember Carmen told you that yesterday?" Jason reminded her of the discussion with the social worker.

"But he's my cat," she said holding onto the tabby that Jason still had on the leash he had taken from the apartment because apparently Thomas O'Malley wasn't okay with being trapped indoors. He wasn't sure if that was actually the case of if Amanda had just forced the cartoon's characteristics on the cat.

"And he can come visit."

"Outside," the foster mother reminded.

Jason nodded. "Let's go outside."

"There are chairs in the back," the foster mother nodded at them. "Gate's on the right side of the house," making it clear the cat would not be entering her house at all.

"Thanks," Jason nodded.

-x-A few weeks later: Jason and Brenda's house-x-

Jason was waiting on the stoop of their brownstone for Brenda to pull up with the groceries. They were definitely reaching the stage where they needed a garage or at least a driveway. The closest parking spot was two houses away and seconds later it was taken by Jake.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked walking up.

"Brenda went food shopping."

"Need help?"

"Considering she tries to buy out the store every time," Jason smiled.

Jake laughed.

He was Jason's favorite downstairs tenant so far. The bottom floor of their place had randomly been filled with various coworkers from the hospital and even Karen during a month long fight with Joe right after she had moved in with him. They occupied the rest of the house, though they mainly lived on the first floor since it had enough bedrooms and they didn't actually care that their living room generally doubled as a playroom.

"How does she even fit that much stuff in the cart with the kids?"

"She goes to the supermarket that has the car on the front for the kids."

Jake laughed again.

The dark turquoise Mercedes E-Class wagon pulled up, Edward's gift when Brenda left the hospital after her accident. She had complained about the wagon aspect until she actually used it, he hadn't heard a complaint since just that she was hot enough to rock it.

"My favorite men," Brenda smiled as she stepped out of the car.

"She only loves me when I'm doing stuff for her," Jake rolled his eyes as he headed towards the back of the double parked car.

"Same here," Jason nodded his head.

Brenda helped Mandy out of the car and sent her to the back to grab a light bag, "I bought you guys beer and chips for the game. Don't start with me."

"So that means we have to stay home and watch it with the kids?" Jake gave a look.

"Hey!" Mandy frowned.

"Not you, sweetie, I meant Ty," Jake quickly swore to the little girl.

"Why don't you go bring that inside, I left the door open."

"Kay," she smiled at her dad.

"We could have had nachos," Jason said as soon as she was out of earshot and Brenda was un-strapping Tyler.

"Draft beer," Jake nodded his head.

"Yea, well now I'm going to call Karen and see if she wants to go out and you guys can watch the kids yourself."

"I'm going to call Joe and Frank," Jake nodded.

"Don't invite Chris!" Jason yelled out after him.

"You two are impossible," Brenda sighed.

"Hello dear," Jason smiled and dropped his head down to give her a kiss.

"Uh huh."

"How was the supermarket?" He asked as they walked into the house.

"I ran into Susan." Allie's foster mother.

"How's Allie doing?"

"Apparently she's been acting up, throwing tantrums you name it."

"Really?" They had been over to see her several times, she hadn't seemed too bad, but then again she had been focused on her cat.

"We should go see her-" Brenda stopped as they were midway through the living room. "Where's the cat?"

"Asleep in Mandy's room, I shut the door."

"Her door was open." Brenda's eyes went wide.

"Jake!" Jason yelled, "shut the front door!"

-x-X-x-

"Well that was fun," Brenda sarcastically informed her husband as she joined him in unpacking the groceries a half hour later.

"I said I was sorry." He pointed out. They had searched the entire house and the streets and in the end Thomas O'Malley was asleep in the hamper of Mandy's closet.

"If anything happens to that cat," she threatened him.

"I know. You were telling me earlier about Allie."

"Yea, she's a mess. I just don't how there's no family to claim her. How could her mother just vanish?"

"It is Port Charles, you remember Dr. Burgess."

"Good point," she pointed at him.

"So what are they doing?"

"She's seeing a therapist. We should do something."

"Do what?"

"Hire a PI. Track down some family."

"I thought I was too involved."

"Yes bringing the cat here. This is money Jason. We have it, she doesn't. Just hire Felicia to find them; she got your dad out of jail."

-x-A few days later-x-

"Where were you?" Jason asked as Brenda walked in the door. Lucia had been with the kids when he arrived. There were no bags in her hands and she wasn't wearing gym clothing.

"I went over to see Allie."

"Without the cat?"

"It's raining."

"But-"

"It's been raining for four days and that means no one's been by to see her in four days."

-x-A few days later-x-

"And we took Tom Tom to go see Allie," Mandy continued her ramble about her day's events seated in Jason's lap on the sofa.

"You went to go see Allie?"

"It was fun, she let me play with a string and Tommy chased it everywhere. I mean it was _just_ a piece of string."

"That's great sweetie. Do you mind getting up so I can talk to your mom for a minute?"

-x-A few days later-x-

"Where are the kids?" Jason asked walking into the kitchen where his wife was looking over some papers while drinking a glass of wine.

"Lucia took them out," she put down the paper and turned to him.

Their nanny had long since been tasked with a role more similar to a babysitter and housekeeper than an actual nanny, which she didn't seem to mind because it gave her more time for school and her boyfriend. However, considering the fact that his wife wasn't scantily clad, Jason wasn't exactly sure, why she was out with the kids, "Why?"

"Allie got into another fight."

"Did you want to go see her?"

"She's not at Susan's."

"Where is she?"

"Another foster family. Susan asked for her to be removed. Claimed she was a threat to the other kids."

"She isn't even five."

"That's what I said."

"So what are you looking at?" Jason nodded at the papers. "New leads from Felicia?"

"An application to be her emergency foster parents."

He was too stunned to even take a deep breath.

Brenda looked up, "Her grandmother just died, her mother's god knows where, she can't just be shuffled around."

"We agreed on two kids."

"Temporary Jason," she rolled her eyes, "she needs something stable, people that can actually devote time to her."

"I barely see our own children."

She gave him a look for that alone.

"I don't work, we have Lucia, we can get her into therapy."

"Br-" Jason liked the little girl without a doubt and wanted to help her, but they hadn't exactly thrived under pressure in the past.

"Do you get what's going to happen to her if no one steps in? She's going to become me-"

"Br-"

She shook her head silencing him, "She is never going to let anyone close, she's going to manipulate and use them. She is going to keep acting out waiting for someone to notice her, but the only person she's ever really going to hurt is herself. We can help her Jason."

He closed his eyes at the pain in her voice as he hugged her. Brenda, AJ, even Stone flooded his thoughts. He remembered Brenda's heart stopping after the incident outside of Luke's, his brother's still body, Stone, who had chosen a life on the street rather than foster care.

"If we don't find her mother-"

She looked up with a smile, "I didn't kill the cat did I?"

He laughed down at her, "If we do find her mother…"

"It's too late to tell me not to get attached Jason."

"Just don't forget she has a family out there."

"I know," Brenda nodded.

"You probably need to get a minivan."

She groaned.

-x-Brazen Backyard: June 2001-x-

Allie wasn't exactly well adjusted, but at least today, at her birthday party, she looked happy. Jason was ignoring the fact that he was pretty sure his wife was trying to bribe the kids who had been in Allie's class into liking her. They had face painting, a magician, cotton candy and snow cone machines, a sea of cupcakes and Barney would be escorting Allie's cake out later.

His own kids had been baffled by the sea of 20 kids plus parents that had invaded their home, but soon threw themselves into the party.

"We should have gotten that bouncy castle," Brenda said leaning her head on his arm.

"It was the castle or guests."

Brenda sighed at their too small backyard, "How did we go from a cottage with too much yard, to a brownstone with no yard?"

"We had no idea what we were doing?" Both of their homes had been impulse buys, first Brenda had wanted out of Kelly's and second he had wanted her out of the middle of nowhere while pregnant.

She laughed.

"Ready to start looking for a third?"

"Hmm no…Too much work."

He laughed at her.

"K get back to mingling. I think there are a few moms that don't hate me yet in Allie's class because they haven't met you."

He laughed at his wife and gave her a quick kiss.

"Hmm that probably took care of them."

**-x-Brazen Summer Party-x-**

"Now this is more like it," their friend announced walking into their new backyard. The hot tub was uncovered, the fence to the pool open, the fire pit had a group around it making s'mores, Robin was manning the blender at the outdoor bar, while laughing at Jake who was trying to add in more rum.

"We live up to your high standards man?" Jason asked walking over with a beer in his hand.

"New house," he nodded, "new kid. Yea," he nodded, "you've averaged out."

Brenda walked over laughing.

"Might I suggest a summer house in the Hamptons next year?"

**-x-Cheap hotel on the edge of town: November 2001-x-**

"Let's make this easy," Brenda said walking into the room. "What do you want?"

"I want my little girl back," Allie's mother, Cindy's mother was a cheap boxed blonde.

"After 18 months?"

"I thought my mother was watching her."

"You can say that to Jason, you can say it to the social worker, but you and I both know you knew."

Cindy shrugged.

"No judge is going to give you that little girl back."

"Then why are you over here in the wrong part of town at 11 pm on a school night, Ms. Perfect Mother?"

"You don't know who you're dealing with. I'll never let you have Allie."

-x-Brazen's: Mid-November 2001-x-

"Brenda," Jason tentatively approached his wife because just like Mandy, the word temporary had never registered in their minds regarding Allie. Then again considering they had gotten a larger house and new cars, he supposed it hadn't really registered with him either until Allie was being taken away.

She shook her head and refused to turn to him as he approached her in their large bedroom.

"I need you to promise me that you aren't going to do anything rash," his hand went to her arm and slowly turned her to him.

"Allie deserves more than that woman."

"That isn't our decision to make."

"Whose decision is it? A judge that doesn't know her? A social worker who wants the file off her desk? We both know exactly how her life is going to turn out if she stays with that woman-"

"Brenda," Jason ordered, "we need to let the lawyers deal with this. We can't just keep a child we have no right to."

"Biology no longer gives that woman a right to Allie," Brenda shook her head and headed into the bathroom.

Jason collapsed into an armchair and sighed.

-x-Thanksgiving Eve 2001-x-

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Reginald drove the car up to the motel looking suspiciously back at Brenda and Edward.

"You heard what the lawyer said, if we don't act now we're going to lose that little girl forever. The last thing I'll allow is my granddaughter to be raised in Atlantic City by a stripper."

"But-"

"No, buts Reggie," Brenda was a woman on a mission with a grandfather-in-law with a very large check.

"Is that?" Reginald looked out the window to see Jason rushing towards his car carrying a sleeping Allie.

"Oh god, what did he do?" Brenda was flooded with fear. She hadn't exactly been nice, sweet or calm regarding this. She was definitely a woman on the brink considering she was pulling up to the motel at 11:30 pm. Jason would have of course tried to stop it before she ended up plunged into trouble again.

"Get Justus on the phone, actually maybe get the pilot," Edward ordered.

"How about we find out what he did first?" Reginald pointed out as he slowed the car by Jason's.

Brenda leapt out before the car came to a stop.

"Brenda," Jason looked up in shock as he finished strapping a sleeping Allie into the car.

"Brenda really that's all you're going to say?"

"Brenda, I really don't want to know what you're doing here at midnight?" He shut the door to keep the chill from Allie.

"You're supposed to be at the hospital."

"I was, earlier."

"What did you do?"

"I got Allie for Thanksgiving like you wanted."

_Of course, he was being evasive. _"Where's Cindy?"

"In her motel room, unless you wanted me to bring her too."

"Breathing?"

Jason stared at his wife with a look of appall. "Please tell me you don't have a gun in that bag."

"Of course not," Brenda shook her head flippantly. _Edward had one, just in case. _"How much money did you give her?"

"You don't buy children Brenda."

"Oh yes, you do. People do it all the time," Edward had enough of waiting in the car and joined in the conversation.

Jason sighed. _Brenda and Edward should never be left in the room without Lila_. "You couldn't stop them?" He asked Reginald.

Reggie snorted.

"So what did you do?" Brenda pressed her husband for information.

"He reminded Cindy of all of the things she wanted for her child," Justus said walking up to them having just left Cindy's room. "She obviously cared enough about her to leave her with her mother."

"Yea," Brenda shook her head, "I tried that."

"Jason offered visitation. Plane tickets, hotel whenever she wants to come see her and if Allie wants to see her when she gets older then you two wouldn't fight it."

"She's a stripper in Atlantic City," Brenda's eyes were wide; she almost wished her husband had shot her.

"Cindy is set to be enrolled in business courses down in Miami where she will have a job at the hotel Jason just bought."

"You bought a hotel?"

"Just a small one," he defended.

"You didn't give her any money?" Edward frowned.

"No, she's going to live at the hotel while it's being renovated and her classes will only be paid for as long as she's working at the hotel."

"She's going to work and go to school?"

"Brenda, I don't think being a stripper is as easy as it sounds."

"So that's it. Allie's just ours again?"

"That's it," Jason shrugged.

She stared at her husband for a moment, her nostrils flared, "You couldn't have done this a month ago?"

"I probably could have if you hadn't kept threatening and attempting to bribe her," Jason made a joke of it. He ignored all the times Cindy had tried to make a move on him in an attempt to get it all.

Brenda sighed, "Let's go home." She went to open the passenger door.

"I'll catch a ride home with Edward," Justus nodded at his grandfather.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Jason moved to walk around the car. "Cindy's coming, so maybe we can order some entrees with the pizza."

"We will have turkey goddammit!" Edward announced as he opened the car door.

They all laughed.

-x-Thanksgiving at the Q's-x-

"I just," Edward shook his head woefully at the bird on the kitchen floor.

"I know dear," Lila consoled.

"We're sorry," the trio of cherubic faces covered in chocolate chimed in unison.

"Sorry," Tyler said late.

Edward stared down at Allison, Sonia, and Mandy, their holiday best covered in chocolate and cream despite the small aprons they all donned. Tyler was as always caught up in the chaos the girls created. They had wanted to help Cook so she had given them a pie to make, she hadn't expected the war to erupt over who was stirring as she was carrying the turkey to plate it. A glob of chocolate cream ended up under her foot and she had gone flying back onto her butt.

"I know you are," Edward went back to looking at the turkey.

"So this happens every year?" Cindy asked Brenda.

"Not this exactly, but pretty much," she nodded.

"Cool," Cindy nodded with a smile suddenly befitting the college student, the 25 year old would soon be.

Brenda laughed, "Come on; let's go get you cleaned up while Reggie orders the pizza."

**-x-Brazen's: Christmas Eve 2001-x-**

"Are you really working on Christmas Eve?" Jason asked walking up behind his wife in their living room. Their new house wasn't overly large, but it would never be quite as cozy as their cottage. He wondered why they had ever left the cottage as their 3 children were all happily tucked asleep in one room. The girls having refused to be separated in the new house and their brother demanding to be in their room tonight as they awaited Santa.

"It's annoying isn't it?" Brenda smiled while not looking up from the latest sketches from the designer regarding the art deco boutique hotel Jason had purchased last month.

"It is," Jason confirmed as he went to sit on the couch with her.

"I really think I want to do all white for the lobby."

"These things need to be maintained," he pointed out. _It wasn't like their old living room. _

"Think about the statement."

"You know I got broken up with over that couch," he reflected.

"So definitely all white," she smiled.

He laughed, "Definitely."

"Cookie me," she ordered.

He laughed as he leaned forward to grab the plate, "Milk?"

"That's been out since 6."

He shuddered and put it down.

"We should have a baby," she randomly announced.

A cloud of cookie dust emerged from Jason's mouth as he choked.

"Three's uneven."

"We're already outnumbered," he pointed out.

"We have a huge house; I'm already driving a minivan. Why not just make it even?"

"How about we get a dog?"

She smiled over at him, "It's so cute you think this is a discussion," she went back to work.

**-x-Summer Party 2002-x-**

The summer party morphed into an engagement party as Robin and Jake got engaged two days before. Robin had moved into the brownstone with Karen when their family had moved out. Close proximity was apparently all the encouragement Robin and Jake had needed to take their mild flirting to the next level.

"You're beaming," Brenda nudged her little sister.

"You're glowing," Robin nudged her back.

"I'm huge," Brenda nodded.

"You are," Robin nodded back.

They both laughed.

"You're happy?"

"I am," Robin nodded. She wasn't quite sure how she ended up happy, but she was.

"This isn't the life you expected," Brenda thought of Stone. Wonderful, charming Stone, who hadn't deserved to miss out on all this.

"No," Robin shook her head slowly. "Is this the life _you_ expected?"

"It's better," Brenda smiled, "way better." She could see Jason in the pool surrounded by kids in floaties, her dreams had nothing on them.

-x-X-x-

"Please tell me you're taking over for this one," Carl dramatically announced as he approached the girls.

Brenda rolled her eyes.

"Jason can't take much more, I think he's going bald."

Jason heard the loud statement across the yard and retaliated, "I got it cut short."

Brenda snorted.

"So what about that summer house in the Hamptons?"

"We bought a hotel down in South Beach," Brenda smiled.

"Sweet," he nodded, and then looked around the child packed party, "I can still drink even though there are kids here right?"

"Just don't fall on them," Brenda nodded.

-x-X-x-

"Oh god," Brenda turned in worry when Sonny and Carly entered her backyard. Lily and Sonny had been engaged in a custody battle for over a year over their two children. Robin had asked and warned Brenda and Jason about Sonny when they decided to change this to an engagement party.

"Everyone said they'd be mature," Robin reminded. Of course, when she'd asked that, she hadn't thought to include Carly and Juan. Sonny's wife and Lily's son suddenly spelled danger in Robin's mind.

"It's almost sweet how naïve you are," Brenda patted her best friend on her back.

-x-X-x-

Jason watched his little brother, Morgan diligently leading his own little brother, Michael and his nephew, Tyler across the yard, far away from the girls. They were as different as could be, the pale redhead, the fair-skinned golden brown-haired boy and the olive skinned black haired toddler. The two younger boys had no idea the tension amongst the adults, but Morgan did. Morgan was well aware and did his best to keep his younger brother away from Anthony, Sonny's son. The young boy was careful to ignore Sonia as well when his mother was around, to not smile at Monica even, to play with his sibling and cousins and that was it. It left Jason with an overwhelming urge to polish off his beer, so instead he put it down and went to go play with the boys.

**-x-Brazen's September 2002-x-**

Jason scaled his back porch while his friends distracted the cops allowing him to sneak past and onto his property. Allie's biological father, Damon Daniels, who hadn't even been listed on the birth certificate, had taken Brenda and the kids hostage. He had been in jail on a slew of charges when Allie had been born and Cindy had been wise enough to put him in the past. Their bedroom window was open and Jason was pretty sure he'd be able to reach it without breaking his neck. Sure enough he only slipped a little leaning to open the screen before managing to pull his body in.

He hushed Mandy and Tyler before they called to him too loudly. They were tied up, just as Brenda and Lucia were in the master bedroom. He pulled out the small Swiss Army knife he carried and cut Lucia free first as Brenda nodded at him to, he was well aware his wife was in labor he had seen the look on her face the moment he made it through the window. "Where's Allie?" Jason asked the nanny.

"Downstairs with him."

"Get the emergency ladder," he ordered her as he moved onto his children.

The entire house had been outfitted for an emergency. The specialist Brenda had hired made sure they were set in case of a fire, flood, possibly even a nuclear blast considering the stash of emergency supplies they had in the basement, hell he wouldn't be surprised if he found an inflatable raft down there.

"Go down the ladder with Lucia," Jason ordered his kids as Lucia hooked the ladder onto the window as Jason moved onto his wife.

"What about Mommy?" Mandy was quick to ask.

"Mommy's going to stay here with me and we're going to get Allie." Brenda wasn't just in labor, she was in active labor.

"Lucia," Jason nodded at her.

"Come on guys, let's go," she herded them towards the window.

"Do we have anywhere you can lock yourself in?" Jason questioned.

"No," Brenda's eyes were wide, "because our children lock themselves into rooms when we do."

"We can-"

"Just go get Allie!" Brenda ordered him.

-x-X-x-

Jason wasn't entirely sure what had happened even when it was all over. He had spied his daughter in the living room and had signaled her to run to upstairs while Damon was looking out the window. As the little girl ran, Jason charged, well aware he wouldn't be able to barricade the door before the other man could reach them. He could only hope they had listened to Lucia and sent someone up the ladder and Brenda and Allie would be saved if he could distract the man long enough.

Somehow though, the fight had ended with the other man temporarily stunned on the floor, while Taggart rushed in from behind, "Freeze."

Jason looked back, breathless and in shock in the midst of his destroyed living room.

"I got this, trust me go to your wife."

The paramedics of course arrived just as Justin Quartermaine greeted the world.

**-x-Robin and Jake's Wedding: Fall 2003-x-**

"This is going too smoothly," Robin viewed the scene suspiciously, as she slow danced with her best friend, who had insisted on it, not wanting to be left out of the dances.

"Don't jinx it."

"This is a wedding in Port Charles."

"My wedding went smoothly."

"You didn't have it in Port Charles and there was a hurricane after it."

"It was a tropical storm," Brenda corrected.

"Only because it wasn't in Port Charles," Robin laughed.

"Today is perfect because guess what you deserve it."

"We really didn't end up where we planned to be." She was supposed to be married to Stone and Brenda was supposed to be a super model. Instead, Stone was gone and Brenda was a stay at home mother who was redesigning a second hotel on the side, fighting with contractors with Justin in a baby bjorn.

"We ended up where we're supposed to be," Brenda pushed back the hair from Robin's face.

"In each other's arms?" Robin laughed.

"Don't tell Jason, but there are days when I think you're my soul-mate."

Robin laughed, "That's because he's your **better **half."

Brenda huffed.

"I hear yelling," Robin smiled, relieved to be getting this over with, the waiting was tearing her apart, she wanted to be able to taste her wedding cake.

"It's just Edward," Brenda rolled her eyes, but was forced to stop dancing as Robin turned to look.

Edward was several shades redder than normal; Mandy was looking up at her grandfather nonchalantly, holding the hand of a younger man, Anthony, Lily and Sonny's son, who looked nervous.

"But Grandpa, we're married," Mandy waved the small cubic zirconium ring Robin had given her and her sister because they were so enchanted by her engagement ring, she was holding Brenda's bouquet as well.

"Oh god," Brenda stifled a laugh the women walked towards the edge of the dance floor. "What's going on?" Brenda asked while the flustered Edward searched for actual words.

The daytime wedding was well suited for children and it had been planned that way so all of their friends would be able to bring the children both Robin and Jake were so fond of. Mandy with flowers tucked into the blonde curls wore a long white gown, identical to her sister's since they were both flower girls, while Anthony wore a grey suit and tie, nearly a clone of his father.

"She was kissing," Edwards's eyes so wide they nearly bugged out of his head, "that…that….hoodlum!"

"But Grandpa," Mandy once more waved her tiny hand at him, "it's okay, we're married."

Brenda and Robin lost all semblance of control and almost dropped to the floor laughing.

-x-X-x-

"I can't believe I used to be so worried about her," Brenda said pressed into Jason's side as Robin was spun around on the dance floor yet again by her husband and they watched from the side.

"You were being a good friend."

She looked up at her husband, "I was so worried she'd never get this," she pressed a hand to his chest.

"She did," Jason smiled, "we did," he smiled brighter.

"Even when you want to kill me?"

"Especially then," he pulled her in close to him, "even when it seems impossible, I know we're going to make it through."

"I can't believe I ever thought I could live without you."

"I know," he laughed.

"_You're _impossible," she laughed at him.

"I'm blessed," he smiled down at her. _The worst tragedy in his life had given him the biggest gift._

"Love you," she smiled up.

"Love you too," he bent to kiss her.

**-x-Epilogue-x-**

The Quartermaine Living Room:

"Mom," Brenda smiled at her eldest child, Allie. She might have physically grown up first, but she was still her baby. Still the child that called the most, visited the most, the child that always seemed one step away from moving back into the mansion with them just as she had for three years after her divorce a decade earlier.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Brenda looked at her middle-aged daughter, who was herself a mother to a 24 year old son. "It isn't Alan is it?" Her eldest grandson had been a cop for almost two years and the thought of it still left her panicked.

"No Mom, he's fine," her voice cracked.

"Sweetie?" Brenda stood and Allie rushed towards her, enveloping her mother in a hug.

"Grandma," Alan called out as he walked into the living room. His mother still crying in her mother's arms.

Her daughter hadn't spoken, but Brenda knew, the little girl who had been rescued by her daddy more times than she could count, would cry like this for only one reason. "Grandpa?" Brenda looked at her grandson, no blood was shared with Jason, but he reminded her the most of him with his compassionate nature.

He nodded and swallowed hard, he'd sat in the passenger side of the cruiser for a minute trying to compose himself enough to tell his grandmother. "He stopped for an accident, he was helping someone in the backseat when they were hit-" Alan stopped and desperately tried to control himself as his mother let out a louder sob.

"Was he in pain?" Was the composed question his grandmother asked she continued to hold her child.

"The paramedics said it was instant," tears flooded his eyes further; he had arrived just seconds after the second collision, along with the paramedics. He had been the one to pull his grandfather out. "I don't think he felt anything," Alan shook his head slowly, "it looked like he was smiling."

Brenda let out a sudden smile as she wiped away her tears then went back to consoling her daughter and pulled her grandson in with them.

-x-X-x-

"Man where have you been?" AJ smiled brightly across the basketball court, launching the ball at his brother after he recovered it from the shot he just took. "Feels like I've been waiting forever."

"Sorry," Jason smiled.

"Eh it's all good. Ready to play?" AJ nodded at his little brother.

"Always," Jason smiled.

AJ laughed.

"Thanks," Jason nodded at him, a calmer smile on his face.

"For waiting? No problem," AJ nodded back. "Have a good time?"

"The best."

"Good," AJ nodded, "let's play."

The ball flew into his chest, both men laughed as they started to hustle.

* * *

AN: So there it is...The End. I don't think short fics are supposed to have 30,000 words, but oh well. :-P Thanks for reading. I hope you liked the little Brazen drama blurbs that made up this fic (Lol. I'm at least glad there are a few of you that didn't find it dull). Brazen has been fabulous, but they seriously could have been more and still kept it interesting because honestly Brazen doesn't know how to do dull.

::sigh::


	39. Reunions

**This goes along with Redemption, which is chapter 14.**

AN: Total compulsive need for all things Q, swapped my original need for AJ to return from Helena's with Courtney (um honestly she kinda bugged me, but not in literary form…Not a Liz…Liz is the only character I truly despise. Everyone else still has potential), to Emily. Btw I have no idea why I wrote this even though I'm still suffering through hand agony from In the Blink of an Eye. These hands are NOT meant for typing and this was definitely too much typing for a VERY small niche of people who like AJ. However, I ADORE him.

So Sean Kanan and Natalia Livingston are filling the roles of Paulo/AJ and Magdalene/Emily.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

_The Path to…_

**(Reunions)**

"My apologies," he along with her and bent to gather and right the silver tea service they had just sent crashing to the floor. "Helena told me there was a new girl starting today," he smiled, "what's your name?"

"Ma-" she pushed back the loose chestnut strand that escaped her bun, revealing honeyed dark eyes that seemed to bore straight into his pale blue-green ones. She swallowed, "Magdalene."

"That's a lot of name," his lips twitched up in another smile.

She returned it with an apologetic one, "Again I'm sorry Mr-"

"I don't stand on formalities like Helena," he stood along with her, her tray now righted. "This is my home, I don't leave it-"

"Ever?" She forgot herself and her eyes widened as she realized.

He laughed, "Ever. I'm afraid of the water."

"But you live on an island," she frowned.

He laughed and flung his arms out slightly, "And here I shall remain. So my name is Paulo," he nodded at her, ignoring the urge to take her hand.

"Paulo," she repeated.

He nodded, "And Magdalene," he chuckled, "That's going to take some getting used to."

She sheepishly smiled again.

"I hope you enjoy it here."

"I'm sure I will…Paulo."

He nodded at her again, "Suggestion, don't ever keep Helena waiting. She gets snippy," he smirked and walked away.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Thanks M," he didn't look up from his computer screen as she placed the coffee next to him.

"M?" Her nose wrinkled.

He turned with a sheepish smile; he had very rarely ever called a servant by a nickname because there were some lines you just didn't cross. "I do recall you saying that if your name bothered me so much, I could call you something else."

"Like Maggie, everyone calls me Maggie."

"You don't look like a Maggie," he discarded that name.

"But I look like a letter?" She was trying to stay firm, honestly she was, everyone just flittered to his every need, he truly had the most charming smile she had ever seem. "Perhaps you should just assign me a number."

"A number?" He chuckled.

"Aren't I the fifth servant? Perhaps you should just call me five."

"Perhaps I should keep calling you M because it annoys you such a great deal."

"I'm more than a letter," she nodded at him.

He smiled up, "I don't doubt that."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Thank you, Maggie," he said as she placed the espresso next to him.

"Maggie? Really?" Helena didn't even both to wait until she was out of the drawing room to express her disdain, but the servant knew better than to get involved.

"Magdalene doesn't quite roll of the tongue."

"Honestly Paulo," Helena sighed, "you get too attached to these people."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Ready to fling yourself in?" His warm voice barely startled her as she stood overlooking the water.

"Not from this height."

"Ah we haven't done you in yet, maybe in a few more months," he chuckled.

"How are you surrounded by all of this," her hands swept wide, "gorgeous sea and you don't love it."

"My family died."

She turned as the charm and mirth left his voice. The servants only knew the bare basics of his past, his arrival a few years prior on Helena's arm and in her bed, only he wasn't a gigolo, apparently he had family money that kept this place running and a talent for making more. She couldn't understand why a man such as him would become a recluse though, why he would choose to spend his life with someone so obviously ill-suited for him. Though she had to admit, she had spied them from afar on more than a few occasions and if they weren't so ill-suited she would have thought they were beautiful, they seemed to move in perfect accord with each other. "I'm sorry, I-"

He shook his head, "It was a long time ago," he looked out onto the sea that took them.

"May I ask what happened?"

"A boating accident."

She wondered if this was the reason for the age difference, most women her age would want children, and children would remind him of what he had lost. _It was beautifully tragic. _Just as he was, haunted by that great pain forcing him to shut out the world he adored so. "How many children did you have?"

He turned in confusion, "Oh. None. No, the accident was when I was younger. I lost my parents and my little brother. I can still see him screaming. I was rescued and he wasn't."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He shook his head, "It was a long time ago."

"I-"

He shook his head again, "There's the perfect place for sunbathing on the north edge, if you ever want, I'll show you."

"I-" she was about to ask who she would tan for, then stopped herself, "I'd like that."

He nodded at her and walked away.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

The island was a happier place to be when Helena was away, the sun always seemed to shine brighter, the waves lapped instead of crashed and Paulo laughed.

He was always pleasant and polite, he had even defended her a time or two when Helena had turned fierce, but when Helena wasn't around. He always stopped to joke and chat, show her the hidden spots on the island it had taken him years to find and he always called her M. Every time Helena returned she yearned for her to leave just so she could hear that single consonant pass his lips.

She watched him fighting with Marco under the bright sun, mats underneath them and the picturesque sea in the background. She watched him never hesitate. She was still afraid watching them fight, but also amazed at their strength and Paulo's focused determination.

Paulo had been fighting a cold and refusing to give in to it, so today she was watching shakier movements, slower reactions, but he wouldn't let Marco go easier on him. So it wasn't surprising that Paulo was left on the mat as Marco stood chuckling, "Sorry, I made a mess for you to clean up," he threw a nod back at his friend and student.

She hurried over to him, "Are you alright?"

He groaned.

"Paulo," she knelt down next to him, "do you want me to send for a doctor?"

"Just send the priest and the gravedigger."

"Melodramatic much?"

"This has to be what dying feels like."

"What hurts?"

"Everything."

She laughed, "Then why did you insist on training with Marco today."

"I'm obviously an idiot."

She laughed at him again, dying apparently made him more human. "You are a man."

He laughed at her and his eyes finally opened, they locked with hers and for a moment she forgot to breathe.

"Do you need help standing?"

"Can't I just stay here?"

"Trust me a sunburn on top of a cold isn't going to make it better."

He grumbled.

"Come on," she ordered, "let me help you."

"I'll get you sweaty."

"I can shower," she pointed out.

His eyes locked with her again. "I-" He stopped himself. "I can do it."

"Come on, we'll get you into a nice warm bath and you'll feel a million times better."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Emmmm"

This was how she had wanted that silly little consonant to sound since the very first moment she'd heard it, breathy as he lips trailed over hers.

"Hmm."

He stopped suddenly and pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

She frowned.

"That was wrong."

_No, no it was the most right she had felt in a long time. _She tilted her head.

"I love Helena."

_No, no that didn't sound right._

"I can't leave her."

She pouted, she didn't mean to, but it was the only way to keep the tears at bay.

"You're amazing," his hand cupped her cheek, "but this is my life."

"Why?" Her voice quivered.

"Because this is where I fit, where I want to be."

"I don't believe you. You're just going to remain locked up on this island for the rest of your life? Another 50 years? Alone? Helena won't be around forever."

"She's here now."

"So you're just going to stay with her until she dies?"

He smiled at her, still holding her face, "That's what people do."

"What does she do when she's gone?"

"M," his head tilted and he gave her a warning look.

"Do you really think she's faithful to you?" Tears suddenly flooded her cheeks.

He instantly softened and he thumbed them away. "You deserve more than I can offer you."

"I'm not asking for anything more than this."

"You're going to want to get married one day, have a family."

"Not today," she swallowed hard and braced her back. She was here now because it was the best opportunity for her, she couldn't leave, she had nowhere to go, she had no family she wanted to return to, she owed Helena her loyalty for taking her in. She possibly would have even liked her savior if not for Paulo.

"M," the thumbs moved some more.

"Stop thinking, just be with me. We owe her, but we also owe ourselves all the happiness we can have. She never has to know." The cook/head housekeeper lived in a small cottage with her husband, who was the gardener and handyman and their mentally disabled daughter, who was also a maid, they existed in a bubble and Marco normally stayed above the pool house preferring it to the main house. They were alone in the main house aside from when Helena arrived with her entourage. They would be safe to continue on as they had. To spend the majority of their evenings together, occasionally with Marco, who normally dined with Paulo when Helena wasn't around.

"You-"

"You want me," she pointed out and caught his thumb with her lips.

"You have no idea."

"Show me," she smiled.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

She liked their bubble. She liked the fact that most nights he spent in her small double bed in the neglected servant's quarters. He would retire to his room, the lights would be turned off and then he would stealthily make his way to her room and then back to his before the sun rose in case anyone was looking at the house.

She also liked this, watching a movie with him in the theater he had created in the house years earlier on a night that Marco had no interest in the movie they were viewing and left them alone. She liked being pressed into his side sharing a tub of popcorn, like the dates they watched on screen.

There was something off in her life, but on nights like this she didn't notice that vague feeling that something was wrong.

Tonight though the longer the movie played, the closer he held her, the more she noticed something was wrong. "Where do I know that name from?"

"Hmm?" He barely turned.

"Quartermain or Allan Quartermain, it just feels familiar," she frowned at the screen before them.

"Maybe you saw the movie when you were little or the sequel."

"No," she shook her head, "that isn't it." She frowned. "At least I don't think it is. I don't remember." She turned to him, "Do you remember a lot of movies from when you were little?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I don't really remember a lot before the accident."

She pursed her lips. "I remember things, but I mean I'm not really connected to them."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but it was a long time ago."

"No," she shook her head. "I mean I remember things, like my mother's name was Marissa and she had been from the US and she met my father while she was traveling. She smelled like lavender and when she smiled, I never felt safer and Helena's smile reminds me of her and my father was horrible after my mother died, but…"

"But what?"

"You're supposed to remember more."

He chuckled.

"No," she shook her head at him. "I know this sounds odd, but there's something missing."

"Like Allan Quartermain?"

She was looking at him when he said that and she was silent for a moment, "Yes," she whispered.

"Come on M, Quartermain is probably just reminding you of the company."

"What company?" She frowned, there had been something even more familiar and peculiar about his statement.

"ELQ, it's an American company."

"What would that have to do Quartermain?"

"The family that started it. Maybe your father worked for-"

"My father's a fisherman." He had come to see her a few times and every time he left she was grateful for the sea that separated them.

"I don't know what to tell you then."

"There's something about this name," her head shook. "There's something about my name…"

He laughed.

"It's horrible," she laughed suddenly.

"It is," he laughed back.

"I don't want to watch the rest of the movie."

"You don't?" he smiled.

"I'd rather feel you than some bad memory," she straddled him.

"No bad memories for M, only good," he pushed her hair back.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

Paulo had once been heavily into drugs and a reckless lifestyle. He told her he purchased the house as an escape; he had left all of his old friends and life behind and started over slowly. It was why Helena occasionally mothered him and why his therapist still checked up on him.

He had built his life back up by getting into shape and he had several trainers before Marco.

He had gotten interested in the business world after Helena's advisor had started a discussion at the table and he'd realized he could keep up. He'd laughed as he told her about all the parental blocks Helena had tried to put up to shield him from the world on the technology he used. He shared that they had been his idea in the first place, but he hardly felt he needed them now after so many years clean. He couldn't even contemplate returning to that life, it was a blur to him.

Seeing him at the computer he was in his element. He traded as a hobby it seemed, he managed to run several successful business from the island. He worked a lot. Too much in her opinion, but he was good at it and it always meant he had a lot of energy to burn off at the end of the day.

"Are you busy?" She didn't normally bother him during the day, it would look suspicious if she remained in his office for longer than a few minutes at a time, which normally just meant a quick kiss as she brought him refreshments.

"Not too busy for you," he turned with a smile.

"Can you look up Quartermain?"

"The company?"

"The name."

"M-"

_M Quartermain…_Why was that so odd?

"Fine," he opened the browser, "what do you want to know?"

She leaned in, "That's all business."

"The family owns the company."

"Well isn't there anything about the family?"

He frowned and turned his attention to the computer. _That was odd. _He scrolled and then he scrolled some more.

"Try M Quartermain…maybe without the e. Maybe it's not that family."

More business sites. "That's odd."

"There has to be more than that name then ELQ."

"The movie didn't come up," he said quietly.

"What?"

"No e, the movie should have come up."

"Well maybe-"

His phone rang.

Her eyes widened, when she saw 'Helena' come up on the screen.

He nodded at the door and she made a hasty exit.

"Hello darling," he smiled picking up the phone.

"I'm just looking up a company."

"An American one, ELQ. They had a small uptick, I'm wondering if…Yes of course you're right the company has been rather erratic, probably not worth the effort."

"I'll see you this weekend then. Love you."

He put down the phone and looked at his computer screen and then back down at his phone, "What have you done?" He whispered.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

She knocked on his door when he hadn't come back down after dinner, she pushed it open without thought and he jumped out of his chair.

"It's just you."

"What are you doing?" She frowned at the mess he had made of his office. _She was the one who would have to clean it up._

"It was blocked. I had to find a way around it that she wouldn't know about."

"What are you-"

He tilted the computer screen towards her.

"That's me," she looked at the headshot.

"It's Emily Quartermaine's obituary."

"M Quartermain," she whispered.

"You were engaged to Helena's grandson, you were murdered."

She shook her head and looked down at herself. "No, I-"

He stood and clasped her arms, "We have to go tonight."

Her head shook.

"She has gone through a lot of trouble to get you out of the way."

She remained frozen.

"Get a change of clothes, leave everything else."

"We're going to leave?" she felt like smiling.

"I'm going to bring you home."

"My home is with you."

"Your home is with your fiancée and your family."

"My home is with you. My home's been with you for almost two years."

"You've been dead for three and a half."

She shook her head.

"We have to go now M."

"But, how-"

"Do you trust me?" His hands clasped her arms again.

She nodded with frightened eyes.

"Then trust me, I will get you home."

"Where is home?"

"Port Charles, New York."

"How are we even going to get off the island, you're sc-"

"Your life or a little water," he attempted a smile.

"She wouldn't kill me, she's harsh sometimes, but I know it's just because she expects the best of me."

"Get your stuff," he ordered.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

She was exhausted by the time they touched down in Pennsylvania. She wasn't sure how he made any of it happen, but by the night after his discovery they had been on a plane to the United States with IDs and funds. She had no idea how he'd managed to make so many contacts while being island bound. She was noticing slowly that the longer he was trying to maintain the façade of an American the more he seemed to be slipping into it. His accent had always seemed to change when he was half asleep as well, she'd never thought much of it aside from it was a cute quirk.

"Tell me about your family," she said half asleep in the taxi they had climbed into at the airport. Paulo giving the man five hundred straight off and asking him to drive them to New York promising him double when they arrived. It had taken her a few moments to realize it was a gypsy cab, a hack that wouldn't have anyone to report in to.

"I told you, there isn't much to tell."

Along with his fake accent becoming more natural she noticed he was growing stiffer with her. "Tell me what you remember."

"I loved them and then they died."

"How did they die?"

"We were on our sailboat, the weather turned, we called for help."

"You must have been so scared."

"Petrified. I saw it in my father's face that we were going to die."

"What was your brother like?"

"A normal kid."

"What did he look like?"

He was silent for a moment, "Like me. So much like me we could have been twins. It was like watching myself drown, only I wasn't so lucky."

"How can you say such a thing?"

"Because he got to die and I had to live."

"He wouldn't have wanted you to feel like that. Wouldn't you have done anything for him to live?"

"Of course."

"And he would have wanted you to be happy."

"I am," he nodded.

"You're going to go back to her," she realized in shock.

"My life is with her," he looked straight ahead, "I told you that."

"You also told me you loved me."

"Your fiancée loves you."

"You don't know him."

"I know that you were a big enough threat for Helena to remove you."

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"How are we going to get over there?" She asked as the cab dropped them off on the docks.

"It's a dock there will be a boat somewhere."

"So what we're just going to rent a boat?"

"Rent, steal," he shook his head, "whatever, we have to get you to him before Helena catches up to us."

"Paulo-" She whined, her feet dug into the wood. She was exhausted, she just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to sleep in his arms one more time before he gave her away.

"Do not make me carry you, Emily." He threatened.

Her heart broke.

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She stood off to the side as he made a deal with a boater in the marina, he had on a baseball cap and a pair of aviators, and she was amazed at what a difference a baseball cap could make as it hid his waves. They had looked like a pair of American tourists in Greece with her hair wrapped in a scarf and oversized sunglasses. She was starting to wonder who he was, maybe that was all he was as well.

"Come on, get in," again there was no trace of his Russian accent returning even though they were alone.

"What did you give him?"

"Five hundred bucks and my watch as insurance."

"Your watch-"

"Is worth a hell of a lot more than this boat, so he probably won't be there when I get back."

_I. _

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"I know this place," she whispered the words once again as she looked onto the rapidly shrinking city.

"Yes you said that in the cab," his eyes remained straight ahead.

"I know you," she whispered and brushed her fingers along his freed waves.

"You just think you do."

"I do," she whispered. "I know you most of all."

"You'll be home soon. That'll change."

"You talk to me differently than her. You're always so polite with her, formal."

"You're different women."

"You love me more."

"I'm returning to her."

"Why?"

"I need her. We're almost there," he nodded at the approaching docks.

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He could only hope that the docks would be the safest and the fastest way to return her to her fiancée that Helena wouldn't instead be waiting for them.

He was helping her out of the boat as an old man came rushing at them. Her long dark golden brown waves whipped in the wind.

"Miss Shaw," the old man did not seemed pleased to see her.

She frowned.

"Is Nikolas here?" Paulo asked.

"He's at the stables, but-" the old man tried to put them off.

"Great," he nodded and pulled her behind him and up the path t. "Which way?"

The old man wearily pointed.

"Who is Miss Shaw?" Emily asked as she struggled to keep up with him.

"Don't know, don't care," he could only hope that man didn't work for Helena and they were walking into a trap. "Just stay behind me."

"Yes I see her," Nikolas walked out of the stables on his cell phone, "thank you for letting me know Alfred."

Paulo felt her pause beside him. He pushed aside his feelings and took a step back.

"Rebecca, what are you doing here?" Nikolas sighed and shook his head.

"Who's Rebecca?"

He retreated further.

Nikolas tensed.

"Nikolas?" Emily shook her head at him and pulled off her sunglasses.

"Emily," Nikolas whispered.

She smiled at him. "Nikolas," she gave a light chuckled.

Nikolas sighed yet again and threw his face up to the sunlight briefly, relishing this feeling, relishing her; it hadn't been worth getting rid of the tumor. He should have chosen death. He knew he would choose differently this time around. "I missed you," he walked to her.

She smiled at him in amazement.

"I can feel you," he said as his hands cupped her face.

"Who's Rebecca?" Emily repeated with a confused smile.

"Your sister."

"My?" She frowned. "No, Skye's my, our-" she frowned further and turned back. "AJ," she called out.

"I can feel you," he repeated softly even though he was no longer touching her.

"Where's AJ?" She turned back in a panic.

"AJ's dead," Nikolas frowned, "you're dead."

"I'm most certainly not dead," a hand went to her chest. "AJ is not dead, he was just with me."

"The guy," the guy near her when he thought she was Rebecca, yes, there had been a guy.

"Yes, the guy, where did he go?"

"I didn't notice."

"Helena's going to kill him," she knew this now. Paulo might be Helena's current prized possession, but he had betrayed her. Emily had witnessed firsthand what Helena had done to her own family. Emily was her enemy and AJ was her brother. He didn't stand a chance.

"Em," Nikolas called her back as she went to go race back to the docks.

"Call Jason please. Tell him to get to the docks. Helena will kill AJ." If they had beaten Helena to Port Charles it couldn't have been by much time.

"You're alive," Nikolas stared at her in wonder.

"And so is AJ, but only if we hurry."

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He spotted Helena's thug the moment he pulled the boat into the slip. He was a little stereotypical thug for Helena, but he supposed she must have been desperate. His gun was already drawn and Paulo was well aware the boat would delay his escape if he tried to get out of the slip. So instead, he leapt from the back of the boat and hoped their distance on the dock would allow him to escape in the opposite direction. A gunshot at 11 am would surely draw attention.

He quickly realized there was no escape from the direction he had headed in ducked onto a boat. He leapt onto the man as he passed by; the gun went flying out of his hands. He could reason with Helena, but not a henchman. The other man was primed for a fight and Paulo recognized that look, he knew that without a doubt the man wanted to kill him, the anger and hatred was blinding. He had no idea how long they fought, but he started to recognize the fact that if he didn't end this soon there was a good chance he would be rolled into the river as a final resting place. They both spotted the gun at the same time. Paulo beat him to it, he turned back and the goon, who stared at him blankly. His finger was on the trigger, but it refused to tighten.

He heard her heels on the docks. "Well hurry up Paulo, finish him off, so we can go home," Helena's voice came up from behind him

He frowned. "You didn't send him after me?"

"Of course not, my grandson did. Now shoot him."

His eyes blurred before him, the person before him superimposed with his brother lost in the sea.

"Well if you won't-"

He turned on instinct, his gun fired without thought and he watched her fall at the same time he felt a burning in his shoulder. The gun dropped from his hands. He saw the goon dive beside him and scoop it up and return a shot at the man, who had just shot at him, previously hidden by a boat. There was gunplay around him, but he couldn't see it. He felt his body being dragged back and it made the burn intensify. The goon looked down as they stilled, hidden behind a boat. He was still a blur with his brother.

"AJ!" the goon's eyes were wide and blue. The frightened eyes staring at him from the water were suddenly blue, he knew now the hair was blonde. The little boy was no longer him, but finally his brother as the goon forced his hand to press onto his wound as he returned more shots.

The shots stopped, but the goon was still on alert.

"AJ!" He heard suddenly breaking the silence.

"Emily," he heard the fiancée's voice calling after her in a panic.

He was AJ.

"Oh god, AJ!" he heard her footsteps grow faster as she saw him and soon she was above him, looking at him in fear.

"Emily," the goon said her name reverently.

"Jason," her eyes were wide and went to him momentarily before focusing back down on AJ. Her fingers went searching for the source of the blood. "There's so much blood, I think it hit the axillary artery."

_The what? _He looked at her in confusion. "Em?"

"You're going to be okay AJ," those honeyed eyes were no longer warm, they seemed frozen.

"I'm gonna go-"

"Please don't leave Jason!" Emily's eyes were wide again looking up at the goon in fear.

"Keep pressure, I'll call 911."

"Please don't leave us," she begged.

"I won't," the goon promised.

"We're home AJ," she nodded at him. "We're going to be okay."

He closed his eyes.

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Emily was pacing outside of the operating room with Jason keeping a still watch on her as AJ had been rushed upstairs as soon as they had arrived. Robin had gone in with him so she could bring out updates, Jason told her it was Robin's brother in law performing the surgery and that he was a good doctor.

"Mom," Emily crumpled the moment she saw her mother. She doubled forward and was only straightened because her mother held her upright in a hug.

"Oh my sweet girl," Monica brushed her hair back.

"Oh Emily," Edward didn't wait for Monica to release her daughter, he instead covered them both in a hug.

"They shot AJ," Emily cried, "Mom please tell me he's going to be okay. Please tell me he isn't going to die because of this sick and twisted-"

"AJ?"

Emily noticed her mother and grandfather had stiffened.

"Monica," Jason said approaching them.

"You didn't tell them."

"AJ's dead," emotion was gone from Monica's voice.

"I didn't want to-" Jason shrugged. He couldn't tell her that her son might be dying for a second time over the phone.

"Helena had AJ," Emily explained.

"We buried AJ," Edward swallowed hard.

"You buried me and I'm still here," she shook her head. They were both staring at her like ghosts.

"AJ," emotion started to return to Monica's voice, devastation.

Steven Webber approached just as Monica seemed to spring to life, heading to done a pair of scrubs. "Monica," he pulled her back.

"No," she shook her head at him.

"Monica, you can't go in there."

"You cannot expect me to stay out. You cannot tell me that my son is in there and he might be dying-"

"Family has to-"

"I gave birth to him, I raised him, I loved him, I've grieved for him for 6 years. You cannot tell me that I cannot be with him for however much time he has left. I am his MOTHER."

"Mon-"

"I will kill you with my bare hands if you try to keep me away from my son," she threatened him.

"I'm going in with you. You have to be calm and let Matt work. He's a good doctor."

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Nikolas returned periodically, he had gone chasing after Helena and her bodyguard, but they had escaped into a car. He checked in on AJ and filled Jason in on the hunt for Helena.

She refused to allow anyone else near her; she knew they were all waiting nearby. She could hear their voices occasionally, but his was the only one she wanted to hear.

His and Grandfather's, who was trapped on a landline, trying to track down a specialist, ready to get AJ airlifted to a world class hospital, while demanding an international manhunt for Helena Cassadine.

She almost believed he could fix it all.

"He said he was there for seven years."

"What?" Jason asked from his spot next to her on the floor as they leaned against the wall awaiting news.

"Seven years, not six."

"If he was brainwashed Emily-"

"He remembered seven years vividly."

Jason sighed. He had no answers for her.

"Why would AJ shoot Dad?" She closed her eyes, "It was AJ's money. They weren't lying about that. They had way more money than Helena was reported to have." She sighed, "The money he stole from ELQ."

"Why would Helena have Michael kidnapped?"

Her eyes opened slowly, "Wasn't AJ trying to get money from Dad?"

"He stole plenty."

She shrugged, "Maybe a gift for _Paulo_." Emily smirked. "Something to entertain him when Helena wasn't around."

"Maybe," Jason conceded. He had to admit that he preferred that to the alternative. It went along with the voice in his head that told him he should have never tried to keep his brother's son from him.

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"That's my family in there, you can't-"

"Michael," Edward's voice called out .

"Told you!" He pushed open the doors that were supposed to keep everyone, but the hospital staff out, that rule didn't apply today, not to the family of two former chiefs of staff and a board member. "Emily," Michael's eyes widened and he practically slid across the floor and collapsed on her.

"Hi," a smile lit up across her face and she smooshed back his cheeks. _Where had those baby cheeks gone to?_

"You aren't dead," her nephew pulled her into a tight hug.

"You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I never want to get rid of you," he refused to let her go.

"Good because I'm not going anywhere."

He held her for awhile longer before he finally turned to Jason, "Is it true?"

"He's in surgery," Jason nodded.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Of course, he's going to be okay," Edward firmly announced. "This family has given enough, after Jake-"

Emily's eyes widened, she turned to her brother, "What happened to Jake?"

"He died last month," Jason's eyes went cold.

"Oh god Jason," she pulled out of her nephew's arms and threw hers around Jason.

"That's exactly why. This curse has to be over. You've made it past years of brainwashing and across the globe." Edward gave a stiff nod, "Your father will be fine Michael."

Emily noticed the look across his face, relief paired with worry.

"There's probably a good chance that Helena was behind your kidnapping."

"Emily," Jason scolded his sister.

"Did you ever find Lydia?"

Jason frowned, he had searched for her trying to figure out if she had been involved with the children's kidnappings. "No." The last place he had tracked her to was the African island nation of Mauritius, leaving over a year in-between Michael's kidnapping and her last known location, where she had been with AJ. Part of him had suspected AJ had killed her.

"Helena did this Jason," Emily pulled their nephew to her other side, keeping him close to her.

"Did AJ still try to kill me after my accident?"

Emily frowned, "You wouldn't have wanted to be a vegetable," she pointed out.

Jason blanched.

"What it's true, you've said it before?"

Edward sighed, "Jake was hit by a car and declared brain dead and Michael-"

Emily's eyes went wide and she turned, "Were you driving?"

"I was shot in the head and was in a coma for a year."

"You what?" Emily's eyes went wider and the boy she cared for from a newborn to a preteen soon had his head in her hands, all of her training went out the window and the aunt in her took over.

"I'm fine now. Eventually they found a specialist that could help."

"I was only gone 3 years."

"Three and a half," Jason corrected her.

"I'm afraid to ask what else I missed."

"Dad's only not here because he and Brenda got married and then it looked like she was blown up, but she'd actually been kidnapped by this guy whose son she'd killed. They'd been in a relationship and she had his baby, only she thought the baby was dead, but Suzanne the guy's mom actually took the baby and just gave him back, only now he's missing again. So Dad's trying to find him."

Emily slowly turned straight ahead.

"Your mother's an alcoholic," Edward informed her, "she had to go to rehab."

She closed her eyes and didn't say anything. After a few moments of silence she opened them again, "Nikolas said something about me having a sister?"

"Rebecca," Edward nodded, "Paige never mentioned anything about her? Lovely girl by the way. She's on her way back from Paris."

"I'm sorry about Jake, Jason," she patted her brother's thigh. She closed her eyes again. "Maybe you guys can tell me about everything tomorrow."

"Sorry Emily," Michael apologized.

"Yes, sorry my dear," Edward offered.

"It's okay. Let's just sit here and wait for more news." She waited a moment, "In silence."

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"I've been sleeping with AJ for two years," she announced suddenly to the silent hallway that suddenly grew even more still. "Not the kind of news you spring on people is it?"

"Ugh," was all Michael could get out after a moment.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Jason offered encouraged by his nephew.

"Huh," Edward said thoughtfully.

Jason and Michael both turned to him with scowls.

"Of course, not. Of course not, he's her brother. But honestly my dear, you shouldn't feel bad. You were brainwashed."

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Emily holed herself with AJ in recovery as soon as he left the OR. He was listed as stable, but she and Monica didn't fool themselves into a false sense of security with those words, they both new how quickly that could turn. They sat next to each other watching him. They didn't speak for a long time.

"The hardest thing about you and AJ being gone was I couldn't even hope," Monica finally spoke softly. "Your bodies were cold."

"I'm sorry Mom," Emily shook her head.

"This isn't your fault."

"Helena-"

"Is a sick woman," Monica's head shook. "What I don't understand is why she didn't use AJ to keep you away from Nikolas? Why she waited to take you as well?"

"She was fond of AJ."

"Fond, like a puppy?"

"She treated him like he was Stavros. He did no wrong in her eyes."

"AJ?" The skepticism clearly evident in her tone.

"He's different Mom. He's the grandson Grandfather always wanted. You should see him. He's brilliant. Disciplined," Emily frowned her mind was still trying to wrap the two at times very different men into the same man.

"He was always smart. He just made foolish choices at every crucial moment."

"Don't say that to him," Emily immediately warned with worry in her voice.

"All I'm going to say to him is how much I love him, every single minute of every single day."

Emily chuckled, "You might drive him insane if you do that."

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He groaned as he tried to move. The two women flew to stand by his side.

"Careful AJ," they told him in unison.

He frowned and squinted trying to see the figures above him in the bright light. "Who-" his raspy word stopped and he started coughing.

"Your throat is dry from the anesthesia," the blonde woman informed him.

Emily returned to his sight and put a straw to his lip, "Just a little sip."

He followed her directions, "Who's AJ?"

The women turned to each other with wide eyes.

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He dozed off and on. He was moved out of recovery and into a private room where Monica and Emily continued to stay with him. He hadn't much interest in asking questions. They had answered his question with 'you.'

He asked one final question as he dozed back off, 'The guy on the docks?'

'Jason,' Emily supplied.

'He-'

'He's your brother,' Monica smoothed back his hair.

His eyes closed, 'He didn't drown.'

"No," Emily's hand covered his, 'he didn't.'

Emily asked her mother to leave the room once AJ was fully awake, the only question he'd asked in the meantime was 'Water?'

Her mother hadn't looked pleased, but she had left.

"How do I know your mother?" He questioned, he had been well aware Emily kept calling the other woman 'Mom,' even when his eyes had been closed.

"She's your mother. She adopted me when I was a child."

He stared blankly at her. "You're my sister."

"Not biologically."

"You're my sister," he repeated.

"It's probably best if you don't think about that too much right now."

He rolled his eyes.

"You were going to kill Jason."

He looked back up.

"On the docks when you were first fighting, he said you were trying to kill him."

"He was trying to kill me."

"Then you didn't, you had the gun trained on him and you didn't. You shot Helena." She had felt the familiarity the moment they entered Port Charles. Had he finally recognized something? Jason?

He flinched at her name, "Is she…"

"We don't know what happened to her, there was blood, but the guard that shot you took her."

Pain flashed across his face.

"She took us, she brainwashed us. Our family grieved for us. Our father died thinking he had failed you," tears flooded her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because you're my sister-"

"Oh my god AJ move past the sister thing."

"Do you have to keep calling me that?"

"It's your name."

"AJ? What am I five?"

"Alan James Quartermaine, you were named after our father."

"So can't you call me Alan?"

"That was our father's name."

"Then call me James."

Emily sighed, "I get that for some weird reason I remember everything and this isn't exactly clicking for you, but your name's been AJ since I was a kid." Her head shook, "Can we go back to why you didn't shoot Jason after trying to kill him?" _AJ was in there, hidden. His sense of humor was the same. He had to be in there._

"I tried."

"But-" she prompted.

"If I pulled the trigger, I was just killing myself." That boy he had seen in the visions all those years had been himself. It had been himself superimposed on his brother. The fear had been his own, but the love behind it that had finally cleared to his brother.

She sighed.

"He wanted to kill me first." AJ frowned, "He never even told me not to shoot."

Emily frowned, "I'll talk with him about that."

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AJ survived his mother's kisses eventually he and Emily talked her into returning home to sleep and had an awkward meeting with their grandfather. Jason didn't enter the room though occasionally AJ could see him when the door opened.

Emily was dozing awkwardly in a chair next to him. He had suggested she return to her house to sleep, but hadn't argue in favor of it very strongly. The goon was her brother, the goon was more frightening than any of Helena's men. The goon didn't exactly blend with the image he had of his brother.

"He's my father, you're really going to keep me from seeing him?"

The loud voice caused AJ to frown and Emily wan'ts as fast asleep as he thought because she was falling out of her chair as she heard it. "Oh god."

"I have a son?"

"Uh," her hands lifted and then she looked over in panic as the door opened.

"A grown son?" He was still baffled by this.

Michael frowned, "He still doesn't remember?"

AJ frowned back, "You look like Jason."

"Yea," Michael's eyes narrowed, "most people consider that a good thing."

"Hmm." His son looked like the goon.

"Maybe we should leave this until AJ's feeling better," Emily suggested to her nephew.

"I feel fine," AJ raised his bed up some more. "If I have a son then, I don't know your name, is it Alan too?"

"Middle name," he shrugged.

"Okay I definitely get why you remembered Alan Quartermaine," he nodded at Emily.

"My name hasn't been Quartermaine since I was pretty much a baby."

AJ turned to Emily.

"It's a long story. I'll explain later."

He didn't look satisfied with that answer, but he let it drop.

"So we still have no idea if he kidnapped me or not?" Michael asked his aunt.

"Excuse me?"

"Michael was kidnapped by someone that looked like you."

"I kidnapped my-"

"It might not have been you," Emily defended.

"He acted like you," Michael added.

His eyes were wide, he did not like this AJ Quartermaine's life. Em was his _sister _of all things, his sweet little brother wanted to kill him and he'd kidnapped his son. A trifecta of misery. "How could it have not been me?"

"February 2005, where were you?"

"What do you mean where was I? I was on the island."

"Details, do you remember what you were actually doing?"

"Em, I can barely remember what I did last month."

"Your first Valentine's day with Helena."

"You were with Helena," Michael's eyes narrowed.

AJ frowned.

"Yes, gross, we know," Emily nodded at her nephew. "Valentine's day."

AJ was frowning further over the gross. "We had dinner."

"What was it?"

"Seriously?" AJ frowned at her.

"Yea I mean come on, that was a really long time-" Even Michael jumped to his defense.

"I still remember what…" She shook her head, "Fine. Her dress?"

"It was red, it had one strap."

Emily sighed loudly, this wasn't looking good. She turned to Michael. "Give me your phone."

He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"What's she doing?" Michael asked AJ.

"I have no idea."

"Okay," Emily nodded. "McDoughal Industries."

"The crash came out of nowhere," AJ's eyes went wide, and his good hand flung out, "they had government contracts. The stock was through the roof. It was too good to be true, I mean you could see by the numbers, they just kept climbing, they had a growth of 17 percent the year before. They were at 173 when the markets opened in New York, by lunch they were at 156. 17 points. 10 percent of their value in half a day, the markets closed at 141. Almost twenty percent and that was just the start. I ate dinner, watching the tv-" AJ was into his story.

"That would be a real memory."

AJ stopped and frowned at her.

"The gaps," she nodded at him. She had pointed them out to him earlier, their time before the island; all of the little details were missing. "Do you remember what you had for dinner that night?"

"That fish thing that Helena liked for awhile, tons of bones, it was horrible."

"I'm going to go with AJ didn't have you kidnapped that was on February 22nd. Did you watch the CEO being arrested?"

"Are you kidding, I skipped working out for that?"

"March 25th," Emily nodded and handed back the phone.

"Good to know, didn't kidnap my kid," he nodded.

"Or shoot your father," Michael added.

"Great," AJ answered dryly.

"Michael maybe you should go, let AJ get some rest."

"Like I'd be able to sleep," AJ gave her a look, "have anywhere you need to be Michael?"

"Uh no, not particularly."

"Sit down, tell me about yourself. I'm thinking this can't get any worse than you thinking I kidnapped you and the fact that you haven't used my last name since you were a baby."

"Uh," Michael looked worriedly over at Emily.

"Okay then just get it over with like the sister thing," AJ said with resignation.

"Uh yea," Michael's eyes widened slightly, "that's still gross."

AJ turned to Emily with a frown, "My son?" _She had told their sexual history to his son?_

"They really deserved it," she sheepishly defended herself.

AJ decided to move past, "Maybe someone should just start at the beginning."

"Should we get Jason in here?" Michael questioned.

Emily's eyes went wide, "No!"

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"Jason," Emily walked out the next morning. "Have you been here all night?"

"We don't know where Helena is."

"Mac put someone at the door," she smiled at the officer.

He smiled back.

Jason didn't look convinced.

"You can call in a guard to take over for you."

"They're Sonny's guards," Jason said quietly.

She frowned slightly. "With," she nodded her head at the officer, "it should be fine. Sonny wouldn't make a move with," she nodded at him again. "Can't Grandfather hire security?"

"He's walking the floor," Jason nodded.

"So call someone else and you can get some sleep."

He didn't look convinced.

"At least come get coffee with me," she nodded at him.

Jason nodded at the guard who walked back into view; the other man quickly came over. "He's going to check their credentials, but I want you to go in with everyone that goes into his room, no matter what they say."

"Yes, sir."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

She talked Jason into calling a replacement while they ate dry muffins and bitter coffee.

Just the officer was by the door as they approached again, "Mr. Quartermaine is with his grandson."

Jason opened the door first just in case.

The men stopped mid-discussion, CNN was on and they had obviously been discussing it.

"I need to be watched with my own grandson by the guard **I** hired to protect him."

"You can come out," Jason nodded at the guard. "I'll check in on you later," Jason nodded at his sister.

"Where are you going?" Edward went after him, "Do you remember the last time you left your sister alone with that lunatic on the loose?"

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

Jason wasn't exactly secure leaving his sister's life in Milo's hands and he had repeatedly gone over procedure with him and the guard Edward had hired. He finally ended on final note, "That is my sister in there."

"I got that Jason."

"Do you know what that means?"

"If I let anything happen to her, I'll wish they'd have killed me?"

"Okay," he nodded at the young man, "I'll be back in a few hours. Call me if anything happens."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

Jason was shockingly on the door two days later, since Emily had long since ordered him to search for Lucian, but AJ was scheduled to be released and Jason wanted to make sure he was watching Emily as she left the hospital. Lainey walked out of the room; Monica and Edward were waiting to pounce on her.

"We've all consulted with each other and-"

"Dr. Rosen?"

"Yes, the specialist too Mr. Quartermaine," she nodded. "Patrick and Robin ruled out any physical reason preventing him from remembering."

"Then why isn't he remembering," Monica snapped.

"The construct that had to have been created in AJ's mind, must have been extensive. There are at least several months that we cannot account for AJ."

"Yes," Monica nodded, "we've heard all that. So-"

"We're sure AJ still retains the memories."

"Good," Monica nodded, "so what are you going to do to get them?"

Lainey hesitated, "AJ has chosen not to pursue any-"

"What?" Monica interrupted.

"I think they tied it into his childhood, possibly Jason's accident."

"The boy in the water," Monica nodded, "he saw it as himself, but then when he saw Jason, the boy's face changed to Jason's. We showed him a picture-"

"Exactly," Lainey nodded.

"So he remembers something."

"He remembers pain and fear."

Monica got defensive, "AJ may not have had the perfect childhood, but-"

"I'm not suggesting that," Lainey shook her head, "I'm saying that I think they played off those emotions in order to repress his memories."

"Well good you have somewhere to start."

"Monica," Edward scolded.

"AJ isn't interested in pursuing his past."

Monica shook her head, "He doesn't know what he's saying."

"Look I've talked him into continuing therapy with me. Dealing with the events and acclimating to returning to a life as AJ Quartermaine. I think that's the most we can ask of him for now. Perhaps in time-"

"No. No more time. My son has lost seven years."

"Now Monica," Edward put a hand on her arm.

"No, you like him like this," she shook her arm away from him. "He's the grandson you always wanted."

He couldn't deny that. "The point is he's happy this way. This is his choice, we tried to force Jason back to the person he was and look at what happened," he gestured back at his grandson in a black tee and jeans with his arms crossing his chest.

Jason shrugged in honest agreement.

"What does that say about me," Monica hoarsely wondered, "two children that would rather forget being my children."

"They're still your children Monica. AJ is coming home with us."

"It's-" tears filled her eyes.

"You have three, healthy, living children. He has time again Monica, time to make decisions no matter how foolish we deem them to be. The three of them Monica, all three. That is a miracle. Everything they have been through and survived they are still here and I will not allow you to lessen that over this." Edward's hand waved in the air. He might appreciate his grandson's sudden business acumen that had previously only shown its potential while he was trying to lose money, and certainly the fact that they had managed to get the accounts in Paulo's name frozen had been nice, especially during these rough financial times. It was seeing AJ though in a room with Michael and Emily laughing that truly brought him joy though.

Monica turned away and Jason was a step away opening his arms.

She cried into his chest as Edward thanked Lainey for her help.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Jason," AJ said opening the door. He was fully dressed and anxious to be released. Emily had finally submitted to the full physical and mammogram her family had been after her to get and she had expressly forbidden Jason from going with her.

"What's wrong?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" AJ stepped back.

"Sure," Jason nodded and walked into the room.

"I just wanted to apologize for almost killing you on the docks."

"It's fine. You didn't."

"You did look like you were going to kill me."

"You jumped me," Jason pointed out

"I thought Helena sent you."

"Emily told me."

"You know normally when people have a gun pointed at you; you try to talk them out of killing you."

Jason didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry about your son."

Jason remained silent, but he nodded slightly.

"Thank you for taking care of Michael-"

"I didn't do it for you."

"I know, but thank you regardless. Just like thank you for making sure Emily's been watched over."

Jason's head tilted, "Thank you for bringing her home."

"I didn't have a choice." He looked at the other man and knew it was the same for him. "I'm sorry for all the times I apparently almost killed you," he quickly said before he lost his nerve.

Jason looked stunned.

"I don't know how you're supposed to say that."

"Do you remember?"

"No."

"Then you don't need to apologize for it."

"Yea I do," he nodded. Jason didn't speak again, so AJ continued, "The only thing I remember is your face. I have spent the last seven years knowing I would have done anything to trade places with my brother."

"Are you choosing not to remember because I can't?"

"Are you kidding? Have you heard what they told me?"

"I lived through half of it."

AJ nodded. "I'm okay with who I am."

"I understand that."

"So clean slate for the time being? I don't try to kill you; you don't try to kill me?"

Jason didn't argue with him.

"Coexist for Emily, Michael and Monica's sake?"

"Fair enough," Jason nodded.

"Good," AJ nodded.

"Are you going to keep sleeping with Emily?"

"Do brothers really ask those questions?"

"They do when it's about their sister."

AJ blanched, "I'm still trying to think of her that way."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"I'm going home with my family Nikolas," Emily turned away from him with tears in her eyes.

"Emily just come home," he pleaded.

"I need to be with my family."

"You need to be with him?" Nikolas shot a dirty look at the room.

"He is my brother, who lost the past 8 years of his life because of your grandmother."

"Emily don't let Helena-"

"I get that you are not responsible for her actions, but my god have you seen her actions? I thought we knew what she was capable of, but we had no idea."

"Don't let her win," he went to grab Emily's arms.

Emily's head shook slowly, "I just need to be with my family," she walked away from Nikolas.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"All I want to do is sit and put my feet up," AJ walked into the living room that evening. He hadn't expected the house to be overrun with visitors the entire afternoon, they had mainly been for Emily, but she hadn't let him escape.

"I see Helena didn't raise you to have manners," Tracey commented.

AJ shot her a dirty look back as Edward scolded her.

"What are you doing?" Emily rushed towards him.

"Pouring a drink. I'm sorry did you want one? I can't exactly do much with one arm," his left arm was still in a sling, but at least they expected no permanent damage from the bullet.

"You're an alcoholic."

"He might have been an alcoholic. I'm not," he picked up the vodka.

"He was a vodka drinker."

"I thought I was Russian. Emily I've been drinking for seven years, I think I'd know if I was an alcoholic."

"Alcoholism is more than genetic. Nature and nurture."

He looked back at Tracey and Edward, "Are you telling me I can't drink because they're my family? But I was fine living with the woman that brainwashed me." He was forcing herself to be crass about Helena, knowing full well that despite what he was feeling, it wasn't logical.

"I'm asking if you really want to risk it if you're telling truth and you don't need that drink."

He put the drink down with a tense jaw. "I have to deal with all of this and I can't drink?"

"It's for the best really," she placed a hand on his arm.

"Yea, I don't have a problem," Tracey walked over to the glass.

"We'll get you a new trainer, maybe a yogi," Emily smiled.

"I'm going to bed."

"It isn't even 9 o'clock," Emily frowned.

"What about 9 o'clock?" Ned asked walking into the room, he'd arrived in Port Charles with Dillon less than 24 hours after Emily and AJ had. Rebecca had arrived soon after.

AJ looked glanced at them all, "Goodnight." He left the room.

Emily waited a moment, "Is it seriously so hard to act like a normal family?"

"I'm sorry," Tracey smirked, "did we embarrass you in front of your boyfriend-" she lifted a hand to her chest, "oh my bad. Your brother?"

The living room erupted.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"Mr. Quartermaine," the hand shot out to shake his.

"AJ please," he nodded.

"Simon," the man nodded back.

"I hope, you don't mind, I brought my son, Michael."

Simon nodded and went to take Michael's hand, "Not at all. Teaching him the family business?"

"He's trying," Michael smiled doing his best to make polite conversation.

"Please have a seat," Simon nodded at the table he had been seated at, waiting for their dinner meeting at the DC restaurant.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" The young waitress approached them as soon as they did.

"Water," AJ answered.

"Pellegrino?"

"That's fine."

"And you sir?"

"Uh," Michael tried not to notice how cute she was and stay focused, he looked across the table and noticed Simon had a short glass with an amber liquor, the tables near them held wine glasses, he really didn't want to drink water, "Pepsi?"

AJ tried not to laugh at his son's nose crinkling; it was similar to how he was when he was adjusting the shirt collar.

The waitress smiled at them, "I'll be back shortly with those."

"So are you planning on following in your father's footsteps?" Simon asked picking up his drink.

"Uh. I don't-"

"Michael just started college. He's still exploring his options," AJ nodded.

"What school do you go to?" Simon continued the small talk.

"PCU," Michael lit up for an easy answer.

"What are you studying?"

He dimmed, "Undecided," he tried to continue smiling.

AJ laughed and patted him on the shoulder, "He'll figure it out. There's no rush."

"I've been working at my mom's hotel," he added before the other man looked at him like a lazy trust fund kid, "it isn't bad."

"A hotelier," Simon nodded. "Certainly money to be made if you know what you're doing."

Michael nodded uncomfortably.

"Didn't you start off in your family's hotel AJ?" Simon turned.

"That's right, I did." AJ had studied his past religiously; it was a script he had learned well. He didn't like most of it, but he knew it.

"Your father didn't turn out too poorly did he?" Simon smiled.

"No," Michael shook his head, "he didn't."

"Let's order," AJ said picking up his menu before Michael refused to ever accompany him on a business trip again.

Michael's eyes showed relief as he lifted the menu.

AJ chuckled next to him.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"That wasn't so bad was it?" AJ asked as they waited for their car to arrive.

"You sound like Edward," Michael's eyes widened.

"I'm just saying, it isn't all drudgery."

"Now you really sound like him."

"No one's trying to force you into-"

"What to do with my life? Really?"

"We're just trying to show you the options available to you-"

"Really?"

"You can be a garbage man for all I care," AJ shook his head as he tipped the valet.

"I can be anything I want to be as long as it doesn't involve working for my dad and Jason," Michael asked once inside the car.

"I like money and power as much as the next man," AJ wished he was in his car and not a rental to prove his point; "there are more efficient ways of getting it. Preferably the ways that don't involve frequent visits to the police station."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

"How did it go?" Jason asked as AJ sat down on the stool next to him at Jake's on Sunday.

"My secretary proved her worth, she got us in everywhere."

"What'll it be?" Coleman called out from the other end of the bar.

"Beer," AJ nodded. He spent entirely too much time in the bar for someone who was allegedly an alcoholic.

The beer was pulled, the cap was popped and soon the non-alcoholic beverage was before him, "You guys need anything else, I'm gonna go set up."

"No."

AJ had learned not to flinch at the off taste and he tried not to remember how it reminded him of days by the pool with a trainer, but that first sip always seemed to flood him with the Greek sun.

"Did Michael like it?"

"And he think_ I'm_ as bad as Edward," AJ took a sip.

"I just want what's best for him."

"Edward," AJ repeated.

Jason took a sip and didn't say anything.

"I think he did," AJ reflected. "I have a trip to London next month," he added.

"Are you going to take him?"

"Depends on his school work, he seemed interested."

Jason nodded, "That's good."

"Maybe if you tried talking to him again-"

"I've tried. You're his father."

"You-"

"You're his father," Jason repeated firmly.

AJ didn't say anything. After a moment, he frowned over at Coleman lugging in something. "What's he setting up?" All he had gotten was a text from Emily earlier in the afternoon that read, _Jake's 7 pm. _

"Karaoke," Jason took another sip.

The frown turned to shock, "But I don't drink."

Jason smirked as he took another sip.

* * *

My hand is seriously busted, 3 days and like 20,000 words=2 days later there's still pain. No more fic for at least a week, I think I need to hide my laptop. :-P

Lol. Pat yourself on the back if you made it through them both and maybe use some eye drops now. :-P


	40. A Modern Day Fairy Tale

I am trying to fix the muse. Bear with me. Um and ignore the fact that I ALWAYS use this style of writing. Obviously "Princess Bride" is my favorite movie. This fic begins with a future scene, then goes to current events, then flashbacks (Italics), then the current events progress…And yea…You're going to get confused. So there is a chunk without our fave characters because obviously I'm trying to twist GH into a world that my muse likes to live in, but they return. I should be posted the second part of this in a day or two, depending on how massive it gets. Lol. I totally had to stop writing the other day because my thumb wanted to fall off.

So as always I hope you don't hate.

* * *

**A Modern Day Fairy Tale**

_Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers.  
**-Hans Christian Anderson**_

"Tell me a story," cupid lips pouted and hazel eyes pleaded.

"I already told you a story," her father did his best to be firm with her, but the hazel eyes with a hint of his coloring and with her golden brown curls, left no doubt in his mind she was her mother's daughter.

"Read not **told**."

_Without a doubt completely her mother's daughter._ "What kind of story?" His lips twitched up despite himself.

"Prince, princess and rescue," she told him matter-of-factly with a look that regarded him as an idiot for even asking such a question.

"Okay, move over then," he nodded at her to scooch over. Her 'big girl' bed was an overpriced wrought iron carriage that he was still swearing was her first car.

She quickly moved and then settled into his side.

"Remind me, how do I begin again?"

She sighed, loudly. "Once upon a time Daddy."

"Oh right, once upon a time Daddy-"

"Dad," she screeched.

He smiled. Entirely too much like her mother. "Okay, once upon a time there was a princess and a prince."

"Names," she demanded.

"Prince Charming and Princess…Impetuous."

"Huh?"

"We'll call her Imp."

"Imp?" She frowned. "Pet?" She countered.

"Fair enough. So the prince and Pet both came to Never Never Land."

"And they fell in love?"

"Not quite," her father smiled. "But she was the most beautiful girl he had even seen and they became friends."

"Friends?" She frowned.

"Gillian," her father gave her a look, the four year old frowned yet again, but closed her mouth. "Pet and the prince became friends almost immediately. He was too serious and she never was. He did his best to keep her out of trouble, she did her best to get him in trouble, but she made him laugh like no one else did. Pet didn't have a family and the prince had too much, so he shared with her. He brought her home and soon the queen, the prince's grandmother was enchanted with Pet. This suited the prince just fine because the more time he spent with Pet, the more he started to realize she wasn't just a silly spoiled princess, she had been sad that she never had a family."

"That sucks."

"It does."

"I'll share you and Mommy if you get me a sister."

"I'll ask Mommy. Can I continue?"

Gillian nodded.

"The prince started to see what a good match they would be. He was too serious, she was too fun. He had too much family, she had none. He thought they would be a good match. So he took her to the royal ball-"

"And they kissed?"

"They did-"

"Can't be happily ever after yet."

"It's not," he confirmed. "What the prince didn't know was that a magical spell had been placed upon them years ago. They couldn't just be happy and in love."

"Why not?"

"Because of a spell placed upon them when they were little."

"Like Sleeping Beauty?"

"Exactly. So the prince met a new princess at another ball and even though she wasn't Pet, he was happy because Pet was still his friend. The prince thought his life was going to be perfect, but then one day the prince and his brother were in a carriage like this one, only the prince didn't know that the wicked witch had placed a spell on the carriage and the prince flew from the carriage. The prince was unharmed-"

"Huh?"

"He wasn't hurt. But the prince awoke with no memories. No memories of his family, no memories of Pet. The prince renounced, gave up, his title and went to live with the town…blacksmith."

"The blacksmith?" Gillian frowned.

"Yes, the blacksmith. The prince liked working with his hands," he quickly defended.

"Okay," she shrugged.

"Prince Charming was suddenly not so charming and he had no patience for Pet and her silly ways. The blacksmith loved her and had for many years, so the prince couldn't escape her. Just as she had been about to marry the blacksmith, the blacksmith decided she deserved better than soot and a White Knight rescued her. Then one day while Pet was living was happily with the White Knight she washed into the sea by a sea monster…Like Ursula. The prince kept waiting to be happy that she was gone-"

"That's mean," her little lips pursed, she was not a fan of this prince.

"Yes it was. That happiness never came. The prince used to wonder if it had been something he had done, if she should have stayed with the blacksmith."

She was still frowning, "What'd he have to do with that?"

"She was a princess, she didn't deserve a life in the soot. She was supposed to-"

She frowned, "He should have stayed out of it."

"You sound like Pet."

"Does he go rescue her?"

"He didn't know she needed rescuing. One day, she was washed back into their lives. Dripping wet, the prince carried her off to a cottage in the woods."

"Did he kill the sea monster?"

"The sea monster had already been killed. Pet had been held captive by the black knight."

"Did he kill the black knight?"

Her father frowned. "No, but he kept her safe from him. The prince brought her back to his house and he was shocked to find he was happy she wasn't dead."

"Dad," Gillian gave him a look.

"What?"

"Does this story get better?"

"Maybe it would if you wouldn't stop interrupting."

She knew that word a little too well, she closed her mouth, yet again.

"The prince kept falling in love, only he never got to happily ever after. With each new princess, he would love them and then something would tear them apart. Every once in awhile he would look at Pet and wonder if maybe they shouldn't just stay as they were. She still annoyed him, but she was still the most beautiful woman in Never Never Land and she remained loyal by his side, no matter what he did, no matter how cruel he was."

She frowned, "Why?"

"Because all those years ago, when the prince was still charming he had loved her and she never forgot. She never forgot that when she felt alone he had taken her in. The prince had been spelled to forget, but not Pet."

Gillian smiled slightly.

"Pet wanted the prince to be happy though. So she left him, so he could marry the sweetest princess the land had ever seen."

Gillian rolled her eyes.

"The spell never let the prince be happy for long. One day he got word that Pet was in danger from an evil wizard, so the prince flew…on a magic carpet to save her. Pet never liked having to be rescued, but she climbed on the carpet with him and went back to Never Never Land and back to the prince's tower."

"Didn't he have a cottage?"

"Cottage was his vacation home."

She sighed, again. "Is there a point to this?"

"The prince battled against the evil wizard's minions and then he gave her away to marry the blacksmith because he realized that she deserved the happiness she had wished for him and it wasn't his place to decide if she lived in the soot with the blacksmith or in a palace. The princess tried to be happy, but she was like the prince. They had been spelled against happily ever after. So the princess left Never Never Land looking for a way to break the spell."

Gillian's patience was growing thin.

"The prince was in his carriage one day while riding to the rescue of a child, when another accident happened. Only this time when he awoke from the accident his memories had returned."

"Did he go to Pet?"

Her father shook his head, "He wanted Pet to be happy. He knew the spell upon him, he knew he could have no happily ever after and he wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be safe from evil wizards and sea monsters. But Pet, Pet was annoying. Even though they both knew they were cursed they talked through a magic mirror, hoping the other would stay safe if they remained separated. The prince tried to marry another princess, but he couldn't, not with Pet out there in the world. So the prince left his life, if Pet wouldn't return to Never Never Land, then he would go to the land Far Far Away. The moment they kissed, the spell was finally broken; their devotion to each other was stronger than any curse."

"That's it?"

"They lived happily ever after?" Her father tried.

Gillian made a face, "Ugh."

Her mother snorted from the doorway.

"Not useful Brenda," Jason reprimanded.

She chuckled walking into the room. "Pet loved the prince so much that she wanted the smartest and the kindest princess for him. When that spell took away his memory, Pet realized she had been a fool, but that she would prove her devotion to him, hoping she could break the spell that clouded his vision of her, all while wanting to claw out the other princesses' eyes," Brenda tickled their daughter. "She wanted to love the blacksmith, the white knight and even the black knight, but they were never her prince charming. So she gave up on love. Then one day, a dove brought word her prince had returned. Believing he was still cursed he told her to stay away. Pet was scared of Never Never Land, it was picture perfect, but there were dungeons, sea monsters, evil wizards and witches, fire breathing dragons and if the prince didn't want to be rescued then Pet would listen to her wise friend and stay away. She didn't know he was trying to keep her safe. Then one day, the prince was before her, just as he had been as a boy. He told her he didn't know if he believed in happily ever afters, but that he didn't want to be anywhere without her. When they kissed they knew the curse was over. The spells and curses between them, that had been keeping them apart those many years were hiding the fact that they were true loves. Once they were united nothing would keep them apart."

"Really? That's the story?" Gillian viewed her mother skeptically.

"What's wrong with that story?" Brenda scowled.

Jason laughed.

"Can you guys leave so I can go to bed?"

"But-" Brenda's mouth remained open.

"Night Gill," Jason kissed his daughter.

"Night Daddy."

Brenda frowned, but kissed their daughter anyway, "Night pumpkin."

"Night Mommy."

"We'll work on the story," Jason promised as he pulled her door shut behind them.

"It was a good story," Brenda defended with a pout.

"An epic romance," he confirmed.

Brenda continued to frown.

"Where's Alec?" Jason said as he shut off the light in his vacant room.

"Probably downstairs in the basement again, this science fair project has reached new levels of crazy."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said walking away from his wife to rejoin their son and the science experiment they had been working on for weeks.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled, "Of course you don't."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-o-2011-o-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

**GH 2011**

Jason closed his eyes, hoping that if they thought he was asleep they would leave him alone. People were supposed to annoy you when you lost your memory, not when you got it back.

It had happened just like that. One moment he had been closing his eyes and the next time they opened it had all returned.

His mind had always been logical; they had seemed to have forgotten that. He wasn't pleased with how he had spent the past twenty years, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He wasn't about to suddenly crack up, when that had never once happened in the past forty years. So he closed his eyes before they could ask him one more question and did his best not to smile when he realized they would finally be giving him some peace and quiet.

-o-o-o-

Sam watched him staggering through the hallway and instantly cursed herself for listening to Kristina and taking a walk to the vending machines.

His weight was heavy as he collapsed around her as she went to his side.

"Where's AJ?" Was the question on his lips.

_He had been taking it too well. _She knew he had been taking it too well, but had done her best to believe his smiles, convincing herself that she should find his smiles reassuring, _smiles were supposed to be reassuring right? _Not on Jason, not with this frequency.

"Where is my brother?" Jason repeated the question firmly, but with a pleading behind those words, a weakness she didn't know how to deal with.

"Oh my god Jason?" Liz rushed towards them; going to support Jason's other side before Sam collapsed under his weight.

"Where is AJ?" His voice was cracking.

"Oh god Jason," tears flooded Liz's eyes. She knew what it was like to wake to a nightmare. Emily always told her how much her brothers had loved each other that they had been nothing like the men always at odds.

"Please," his voice begged.

"He died Jason. Asher Thomas killed him, remember?"

"No," his head shook and he tried to tear away from them.

"Jason please you're going to hurt yourself," Sam cried.

"He is not dead," Jason pushed Liz away from him.

"I know it hurts Jason," Liz tried to console, but instead found tears running down her cheeks.

Jason tried to walk away unaided only to once again be falling and caught by Sam.

"Collin," Liz called to the physical therapist that had been part of their hospital for years, starting off as an aid as he earned his license. The former player, whose dark hair was currently sprinkled with sandy blonde highlights from the summer, the tan making his pale blue green eyes pop, who was still just as charming as he had started out, but being a single father to a three year old daughter had made the other man finally mature.

He turned to his name and rushed over, taking Jason's weight off Sam.

"AJ," Jason weakly groaned, exhausted by his accident and the surgery.

"No, Jason," Sam said clenching her fists in pain, "it's Collin, Collin Walker. You know Collin." Sam would have almost described Collin as Jason's friend after Jason had been assigned hours at GH back in 2007, of course that might have just been because they had belonged to the same gym. However, it hadn't been uncommon to see Jason and Collin playing basketball on the lone hoop someone had hung outside of GH after his hours were over. Jason never seemed to have conversation lasting longer than five minutes with him, but for Jason…For Jason she would probably consider that a friend. Jason hardly went to that gym now though and Collin barely had a life since his daughter was born, but still she had seen him try to comfort Jason after Jake and he had checked on Jason after the accident.

"Come on Jason, let's get you back to your room," Collin spoke in that easy going southern accent of his that had aided his early player tendencies.

Liz looked at them, she could mistake them for brothers, a few people had over the years, but Collin wasn't AJ, even though his hair was darker now than it had been when he started, maybe even his eyes had been lighter, _hadn't his eyes been darker when he started at the hospital? _ Now his eyes were close in color to Jason's, maybe it was the hair. His body was lean and muscular, AJ had always been in shape, but Collin…Collin was the guy the nurses always tried to put in the dunk tank at every fundraiser. He led yoga sessions during his lunch hour at least 3 times a week, the guy's body was a virtual temple and AJ, well AJ's body had been a dumping ground.

"You're not dead," Jason sighed in relief.

Collin shifted more of Jason's weight onto himself, "Come-"

Cameron and Aiden would never have that with Jake. Jason would never have that with AJ. It tore apart her heart. She couldn't let him live in denial, denial destroyed them all, "That is not AJ Jason. AJ is dead," Liz said a little too firmly.

Jason stopped being compliant and moving with Collin.

"You're not dead," Jason's eyes were wild and desperate. He wasn't a grown man of forty plus years, but a child. "Tell them you're not dead."

Liz cursed herself realizing that keeping Jason calm after such an accident and surgery should have been her goal. If his blood pressure skyrocketed the outcomes could be tragic.

"J-"

"You can't be dead. Tell them you're not dead," Jason was shattering before their very eyes.

Sam couldn't watch this, she couldn't watch her brave and stoic Jason crumple. She didn't know this man, she didn't know how to comfort him, when she didn't know anything of the relationship he lost with AJ. Jason hated AJ, he only ever showed two emotions when it came to his brother, hatred and pity. _ A Jason that was distraught over the loss of his brother nearly seven years later…_

"Jason," Liz moved closer to him, her voice softening.

"No, he can't be," Jason continued to crumple.

"Of course I'm not," the accent was gone.

Liz and Sam wondered if they had both imagined that, if his accent had just slid away.

"Do I need to carry you back to your room?"

The accent was definitely gone. _Was that what AJ had sounded like? _It was familiar certainly, but was he actually…_No no, of course not._ He was just better than them, he was keeping Jason calm, letting him heal so he could recover and deal with his life.

"Come on little brother," Collin's words were still soft. "I've got you."

And Jason went with him.

Jason Morgan, strongest man either of them had ever met, was half carried and led back to his room, by the PT.

The women looked at each other for a moment in shock before rushing after the two men.

Collin was helping Jason back into bed as they walked in, "You're a fuckin idiot Jason," the softness was gone, and, the accent hadn't returned, "what the hell are you doing wandering the halls after a major operation?"

"I thought you were dead," Jason said looking up at the ceiling.

"So you try to kill yourself?" Collin shook his head. "I saw you yesterday, when-"

Jason's head came forward, "I wasn't sure you were you, or if I made that up in my own mind."

Liz's mind flashed through a series of images, inconspicuous at the time, but now… Collin having lunch with Alan Quartermaine, how he would bring Monica coffee, the dark glasses he had worn at Alan, Emily and Jake's funerals. How frequently he had been by Michael's hospital room after the shooting and then working with him for longer than he would most patients. How he had visited him down in the city to check up on if the PT was keeping up the exercises to keep Michael's muscles from atrophying, under the reasoning he had been down there anyway. Michael's return had again meant double the hours he normally spent with a patient. He always went out of his way to make Monica laugh; a few had even suggested he was making a play for the wealthy widow.

Liz turned to Sam, the woman who would never be her ally only in this moment there was no one else to turn to. "Collin isn't-"

"Collin?" Sam finished. Sam frowned as they both turned back to the men who were now looking at them. "How did you-" Sam looked at AJ first, who looked nothing like AJ. Then at Jason as she realized something, "How long have you known?"

-o-o-o-

-o-o-Flashbacks-o-o-

-o-o-o-

_"Dad?" AJ whispered to Alan's sleeping form as the other Quartermaines had gone out to talk with his doctor, trusting Collin to stay with him. _

_'He always enjoys spending time with you,' Monica had smiled at him as she conceded and left the room. _

_He had wanted to weep, he had spent him entire life wanting that to be true. _

_"I screwed up Dad. No surprise there right? I need you to wake up so I can make it better. I was so angry and Michael belonged with me, not with Jason, not with Sonny. He is **my** son. I was going to take him and we were going to start over. Only I screwed that up," AJ shrugged. _

_The plan had been formulated with Lydia and he hadn't expected his girlfriend to betray him, but she had. It had been such a good plan she decided to institute it herself with the help of a plastic surgeon on the team he had been using to redo his face, the shrink he had been seeing in Port Charles and a guy who was good with voices and willing to change his face. She knew AJ was losing interest and hadn't been as free with the purse strings as she would have liked even at the start, if she could get Michael, she could clean him out of everything he had stolen. She hadn't counted on the nasty infection that had sent him to a private island to recuperate, then he heard Michael was dead and he didn't even bother to leave a note when he fled. _

_"I didn't know where else to go."_

_He had been in shock, when his son turned up alive, but HE was in the hospital and then HE was dead. He heard through the grapevine that Lydia had disappeared and the doctor had fled. He found a new doctor and finished the surgeries giving himself a face not even Lydia would recognize._

_He hadn't known what to do, but by June he found himself in Port Charles, having talked himself into the plan of taking Michael once again. However, Michael had been so damaged by that point he couldn't stand to hurt him more. _

_He convinced himself that he would wait awhile, until Michael was more stable. So he got a job at the hospital, but eventually he realized that he hadn't been staying for Michael. He went out of his way to make his father laugh; he read the newspaper from front to back and stayed up to date on the international news so he could always hold a conversation with the chief of staff. His father finally stopped to have conversations with him, to call him join him at a table down in the cafeteria, his father finally enjoyed spending time with him. He could always be counted on to make his mother smile on a taxing day, he could watch his sister be carefree over the pool table at Jake's and smile as both females scolded him over his conquests, while his father always did his best to hide a smile. _

_He hadn't been willing to take Michael away from his family and he wasn't willing to leave his family. _

_His dad couldn't leave him now. "I need you to wake up."_

_"AJ," his father whispered still heavily sedated. _

_"Dad," AJ grabbed his father's hand. _

_"I miss you," Alan whispered. _

_"I'm right here. I couldn't leave. I tried. I don't want to be anywhere, but here."_

_"Good," Alan patted his hand. "I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

_"Sorry, I wasted all those years."_

_AJ chuckled quietly, "It's okay. We've still got time."_

_"Good," Alan smiled again, "my boy," the smile was still on his face as he returned to the sleep he hadn't quite woken up from. _

_AJ stood brushing away tears as a nurse entered the room quickly followed by the Quartermaines, not realizing as he left it would be the last time he would see his father alive._

_-o-o-o-_

_"He was so proud of you, do you know that?" Monica cupped his face went him went up to offer his condolences. _

_AJ's eyes flooded, everyone was emotional regarding the loss of their Chief, but he wanted to curl against his father's casket with a bottle of vodka. _

_"You have been working so hard, he has…had," she got choked up, "been so proud of your work at GH and finishing your bachelors and you had to have seen how proud he was to write your recommendation letter for your program. I know how much he enjoyed spending time with you since you started at the hospital."_

_"I…." AJ swallowed hard. "He was the kind of dad I wished for growing up," he was honest with his mother. The past year and a half with his father was what he had always wanted from him. _

_Monica's eyes flooded, "It's the kind of father, he wished he'd been with our boys," Monica's hand covered her mouth. _

_"Hey Mom, let's go get a drink of water," Emily said swooping into their mother's side. _

_AJ's mouth opened to call her back, to say the name he had missed, 'Mom.' He stopped himself though, his father hadn't been proud of AJ Quartermaine, his father had been proud of Collin Walker. _

_-o-o-o-_

_Jason occasionally graced Collin with a pensive look as if he knew something wasn't right. It came whenever. As Collin was studying while on break. As Collin took a sip of a soda at Jake's. In the middle of a conversation with someone at GH… _

_It didn't stop Jason from nodding in agreement to spot him at the gym, a game of pool at Jake's, a pickup game in the loading dock of GH. From occasionally engaging in conversation. _

_AJ was never quite sure what his brother knew. Never quite sure what the future would bring. _

_They were playing one on one at the gym one day. He had been talking smack; Jason had been ignoring it mostly. Then his accent slipped. Jason froze with the ball in his hand. The recognition was clear in his eyes. _

_"J-"_

_"Stop talking. Play ball," Jason ordered._

_So that's what AJ did. Ignoring the relief that coursed through him, knowing that Jason knew. That Jason had known. His brother knew and not only did he not kill him, he willingly spent time with him._

_-o-o-o-_

_They saw each other in the hallway of GH after Emily died. After she had been murdered on an island during a storm while AJ had spent it in front of a fireplace with his latest girlfriend, the peds nurse that Emily had declared too young for him on several occasions, he was generally inclined to agree, but she was hot. _

_Jason had been visiting Sonny. _

_They looked at each other with blank stares for a moment before walking past each other in silence. Neither realizing they were both too disgusted with themselves to speak. Both blaming themselves for the loss of their sister. _

_-o-o-o-_

_Even when it was all over, they didn't talk about Emily. AJ had stopped by Jason's hospital room, while his hands were bandaged and he was waiting to find out if he would regain function of them. "You still owe me a game," he said from the doorway. _

_Jason lifted his hands._

_"Good thing you know a good PT," AJ smiled._

_Jason almost smiled back._

_-o-o-o-_

_Collin was one of the many people that frequented the waiting room during Michael's surgery and then hallway outside of Michael's room after the shooting. Most people regarded him as a friend of Alan and Monica's, so it hadn't been odd for him to check in on their grandson. They hadn't thought it odd when he had said that he was taking such good care of Alan's grandson because Alan had always been so good to him. _

_He and Jason didn't talk aside from one brief, heart wrenching declaration of, "I'm sorry," from Jason. _

_AJ didn't say anything back because he knew he would only end up screaming. He didn't talk to Jason and he did his best to avoid looking at him. _

_-o-o-o-_

_AJ's life was spiraling out of control and he was well aware of it. Everything he had wanted, everything he had returned for was gone. His father, sister and son were gone. He hadn't recognized Monica was drinking when she shut him out. How could he go to her in rehab and tell her who he was now? His family had fallen apart and he had done nothing to stop it. And Jason… Michael was gone. _

_He imploded as any good alcoholic would do. Funny though, he managed to avoid hitting the bottle and instead hit the sheets with every available female. Blurring the pain, driving himself to pass out through bliss. The problem was he still had girlfriend, that cute little nurse, Tori from peds, every time he looked at her though, he saw Emily smiling at him, telling him she was too young. _

_In June, she finally caught him with an intern in a closet. Her suspicions finally confirmed, despite her best attempts at ignoring the rumors floating around the hospital. _

_She had been furious and he had been happy for her to be free of him. _

_Then just a few days later she coldly informed him, she was pregnant and he was paying for the abortion. _

_The ultimate proverbial cold shower. He had finally woken up. He had gotten reckless in all areas in a desperate attempt to destroy his life. _

_He was about to lose another child because of his actions. He begged, pleaded and finally offered money. He had always passed off the modern apartment filled with every overpriced toy a guy could want as a trust from long dead parents. He knew she wanted to go to med school. He knew she wanted out of the same city she had grown up in. She loved the finer things and the credit card bills he saw at her place showed she loved them a little too much. _

_"You have two choices," AJ channeled his grandfather, "you can kill this baby and live with that for the rest of your life or you can give it to me. Give him or her to me and have the life you always dreamed of. You got pregnant for a reason-"_

_"I did-"_

_"You were on the pill. My guess is I wasn't serious enough for you. A baby would get you the house and the husband."_

_"I told you, we are over."_

_His hands lifted, "And I understand that, but the point is you were willing to have this baby."_

_She frowned at him._

_"You already said you don't want to raise the baby."_

_"Why would I want your-"_

_A hand stopped her, "Yea we've been through that already. You have this baby and I give you half of what's in my accounts." Collin Walker had a significantly smaller financial portfolio that what was hidden overseas. _

_"Sell my child?"_

_"Think of it like divorce, you get half, the baby stays with me."_

_"You tell it I sold it?"_

_"You go off to medical school. I have a career already. It makes more sense for me to have custody. You can visit. I will do all of the work. Our child will never know."_

_Her head tilted and he knew he had her; it took everything in his power not to collapse in relief. _

_-o-o-o-_

_On the night Sasha, as she was named by her mother, was born Jason couldn't resist taking a walk by the nursery. AJ stood in front of the window transfixed._

_Jason walked up next to him. The red and splotchy baby was asleep, swaddled and wearing a cap, but Jason said, "She's beautiful."_

_"I almost killed her," AJ confessed, "I almost destroyed her like everything else," he said it all with a flawless accent, so used to the role he had been playing non-stop for years. _

_Jason opened his mouth to speak at the same time Monica walked down the hallway, "Is she as beautiful as everyone says she is?"_

_Collin Walker turned with a smile to his Chief of Staff and the woman he had been sitting next to in AA meetings since her return, "More."_

_"Does she look more like you or Tori?" Monica said approaching._

_"Actually," he smiled, "I think she looks like my mother."_

_Monica looked in the window, "Oh," she lifted a hand to her chest. "Your mother must have been a very beautiful woman."_

_"Yea," AJ nodded._

_"Isn't she gorgeous Jason?" Monica smiled over at her son._

_"Yea," he nodded. _

_"Can the Chief of staff get a cuddle?"_

_"Yea," AJ nodded again._

-o-o-o-

-o-o-2011-o-o-

-o-o-o-

"I don't know."

"You don't-" Sam's voice lifted and she forced herself to stop.

"Did Emily know?" Liz frowned.

"I don't think so," AJ admitted.

"Alan, Monica, Edward?" Sam questioned.

"You were the only-" Sam frowned. "When Jason," she repeated.

"There wasn't a clear moment, I just," he shrugged, "knew."

"No one else in your family. You knew and you didn't tell anyone?"

"How could you let Monica think AJ was dead?" Liz condemned his actions.

Jason stopped and frowned at himself and the tone of her words. "It wasn't my place." He stopped himself as he realized he was lying.

"Did I ever know you, Jason?" Liz shook her head and left the room.

"I need air," Sam said after a few moments in silence.

-o-o-o-

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I had my head smashed into a steering wheel, I-"

AJ's hand raised.

"You asked," Jason smirked.

AJ smiled suddenly, "Glad you got your sense of humor back."

Jason smirked again.

"Brenda's going to be excited."

Jason groaned.

"Come on, you know the wifey missed you."

"Jax is dead. She's got to be a mess."

"Jax is dead and Sonny was arrested for his murder."

"Worse than a mess," Jason amended.

"She should have listened to us."

Jason sighed. "She's going to blame herself." Jason pushed himself up, "I need a phone. She needs to know not to come back to town. Seeing her will push Sonny-"

AJ stood and pushed his brother back onto the bed, "It's the middle of the night in Rome. Wait a few hours.

Jason conceded.

AJ remained standing over his bed, "You shouldn't be dealing with any of this. I-"

"You were sick," Jason knew where AJ was going.

"I put you into a tree."

"Actually you put the car into a tree, I hit the pavement," Jason joked.

"Stop being so forgiving, the last time you did that I almost killed you."

"I was convinced you were dead for twenty minutes a half hour ago. I can't be angry with you right now. Not with everything else. I just need you to be my brother again."

"Mindless distraction?"

Jason nodded.

"I can do that. Let me call and get someone to cover my shift."

-o-o-o-

"No seriously she would only walk if she was holding my ass, this little 93 year old, grandmother of 14 and she had some grip."

Jason was on his side struggling to breath as he laughed so hard.

"No Jase, it really wasn't that funny, I had 10 crescent shaped holes in my ass," AJ was laughing himself.

Monica pushed the door open slowly. Epiphany had told her that Collin was in the room with Jason, only that hadn't been Collin's voice telling the story, a story she had already heard in Collin's voice. She had finally snapped because she heard AJ's voice. She had gotten Jason back, so of course her mind would flash to AJ.

Jason was on his side bright red with laughter. Collin was leaning forward, his face pink as well. For a second they were oblivious to her.

"Mom?" Jason sat up.

She couldn't focus in on only his face though, she kept them both in view. It may have been twenty years, but seeing them together, she knew her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her.

"AJ," she tried to keep emotion out of her voice.

"Mom," he stood.

"You!" The emotions flew. "How could you?"

He stood looking contrite.

"Your father. Your sister."

She turned to Jason, "And you-"

"Mom, Jason didn't-"

"You kept Jake from me, you kept your brother. How could you keep my own child's life from me?"

"M-"

"No," she shook her head at AJ, "I am asking your brother. How he could do that to another parent, especially after Jake?"

"Because I wasn't going to sacrifice him to save you," Jason fired back. That unspoken, perhaps even unrealized reason shot out of his lips before he could stop himself. He had wanted to tell her about Jake, but AJ… AJ had finally gotten his life together, no matter how peculiar it was, he had wanted AJ to continue being Collin Walker. Collin was happy. Collin was able to function.

Monica froze.

"He's alive. That mattered more than making you happy."

"Was I really such a bad mother?" Monica's voice cracked as she looked at Jason.

"I was just a really bad son," AJ rushed to hug their mother.

"I always still had you," she hugged him back flooding with relief as it washed away. The years of pain of his death, of everything he had never gotten to be…It left as she realized she had watched as he got the life he always deserved as he became the man she had always known he was capable of being. "Both my boys," she said holding on to AJ's side as she turned to look at Jason.

-o-o-o-

"Jax is dead and AJ's alive," Carly repeated these fact to herself for what seemed like the millionth time. Jax, Josslyn's adoring father, Michael and Morgan's doting stepfather. He was dead and he had been right all along. His death had proved to her that Sonny really did need to be kept away from their children. And AJ was Collin, the nice PT that always devoted so much care to Michael and asked after him every time they saw each other in town and checked in when Josslyn was in the hospital. The same man that had struggled to keep and even turn Michael away from Sonny. The same man whose daughter had played with Josslyn in the park the other week. _Life made no sense._

"Did you tell Michael?"

"You might be injured, but I'm saving that for you," she regarded her friend with a look. "Why is AJ still alive?"

"Because he got his life together?"

"He could have taken off with Michael at ANY TIME."

"I knew what he looked like Carly and I think he just-"

"He just what?"

"Wanted to be home."

"You know what we're going to have this fight at another time," she said pulling her seat closer to him. "Because right now, you're alive and I have Joss and that is all I care about."

-o-o-o-

"Please Jason," Brenda began across the phone, "please don't tell me you told me so because Jax is already dead and I-"

"I'm not."

"Are you okay?" She questioned.

"Yea, I should be able to leave in a few days."

"No long term-whatever?"

He smiled. "Physically I should be fine in a few days."

"Oh god is there something wrong with you mentally because you're already challenging enough."

"Thanks," he responded dryly.

"I didn't mean it like that." Brenda paused. "Okay maybe I did. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes I promise."

"I can come back-"

"NO!"

"Jason, I know I'm not your favorite person-"

"I don't trust Sonny right now."

"He's that bad?"

"I think so."

"Oh god."

"This isn't your fault."

"Whose fault is it Jason?"

"You were trying to keep your son safe. How is Alec doing?"

"He's good. Actually he's fantastic. He loves it all."

"That's good."

"Yea he's great. You've got to see me. I'm a total mess, the apartment is in shambles, I'm…Let's just say I can walk the streets without anyone recognizing me. My hair is insane."

"As bad as it was in high school?" Jason's lips twitched up in a smile.

"Haha," she answered dryly. "I get a defrizzer thing every two months, so that isn't even possible." Brenda paused.

"Bren?"

"Jason," she whispered.

"Since I'm being honest, I wanted to burn that putrid pink scarf you used to wear."

"Jason," she repeated.

"Yea?"

"Jase-"

"Still here."

"Am I dreaming?"

"No."

"How?"

"Do you care?"

She chuckled, "No." She cackled as she filled with joy.

He flinched slightly as he pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Okay I need to get Alec packed. We will be back in Port Charles-" she rambled on.

"Brenda," Jason finally managed to interrupt her.

"What?"

"Stay in Rome?"

"What?"

"Do you remember why you left?"

"Well yea, but-"

"You want to keep Alec safe-"

"But-"

"Brenda please."

"You don't want me to come back?"

His eyes closed, "Not right now." He knew how those words would destroy her.

"Right you never-"

"Brenda just not right now."

"Listen I need to go Alec is waking up."

"Br-" she hung up on him before he could say anything else.

-o-o-o-

Jason couldn't count the number of times he had told Sam he loved her and apologized for AJ, promising that his feelings for her hadn't changed and that they would get married as soon as he was well.

However, every time he laughed or smiled with Carly, Robin or AJ. She would tense and become nervous. The first time he had seen her relax since his surgery had been this morning when she had walked in to find Sasha and Joss in bed with him as he read to them, changing voices with the characters, while Carly looked on with a smile.

He still wasn't ready for kids, but she was and he could see it in her eyes that she had faith in them once more, so he smiled back and hoped that would change.

Life never delved out of control like everyone had expected it to when he awoke. Edward had a fleet of security on AJ and Sasha, but Edward and Monica were happier. Robin had eventually talked common sense into Brenda. Carly and AJ had almost throttled each other a few times, but they were both still standing, of course that might only be because the 'I told you so' argument was currently in AJ's favor. Max and Diane had been doing their best to keep Sonny under control.

Jason had faith that it would all work out, that he could go about his life as he had planned.

Then as he was taking his what seemed like hundredth lap around the floor _she _walked off the elevator.

The same big smile, the same wide eyes.

"Keesha," her name passed his lips.

She tentatively walked towards him, but that bright smile didn't go away.

By the time she made it to his frozen form, the rush of memories associated with the bounce of her hair, the swish of her hips, the sparkle in her eyes, the simple way she said, "Jason," pushed him over the edge.

Right next to the nurse's station in the middle of the day, his hands went into her hair and he kissed her. Pulling back only to say, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

She had laughed as she had been pulled against his body, "It's okay," she promised.

"No, I was horrible, I was-"

Her head titled back to look up at him, "You weren't you."

"How could I forget you?" He asked looking down, at the woman he had once planned on spending the rest of his life with. Then he looked up and saw Sam's horrified expression, he called her name as she took off.

* * *

Lol. I totally had poor Lori read this...Like no Brazen. She was a trooper and probably too kind to tell me it confused her.

Thanks for reading!


	41. A Modern Day Fairy Tale Part Two

**Tanilc: **Haha. Yep. Not my AJ fic ideas. He however just shows up everywhere. :-P

**AN: **Thanks for reading and the reviews guys, they totally brightened my week. I hope you enjoy this next bit there is quite a bit more Brazen in it. Um but yes, Keesha is still around, as is Sam, so brace yourself. :-P

* * *

**A Modern Day Fairy Tale**

**_Part Two_**

"What is going on with you and my cousin?" Maya asked cornering Jason.

"What are you talking about Maya?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about why is Keesha not going back to Philadelphia?"

"Why don't you ask Keesha that?"

"She keeps saying she wants to spend time with me, which we both know is a lie."

"I don't know what to tell you then Maya. Have you asked AJ?"

"Okay don't even get me started on that whole Collin/AJ thing, it's too weird for me to even wrap my head around. Just stay away from my cousin Jason. You're getting married, it took her years to put her life back together after you."

-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

"What are you doing?" Jason asked tamping down a smile as he walked into Michael's office at ELQ.

Michael was seated at a small kids table in between Sasha and Joss, wearing a large floppy hat and a boa. "Why a tea party of course," Michael said in a falsetto, lifting the tea cup with pinky extended both of the little girls giggled. "Care to join?"

"Uh no thanks, I don't think I'd fit," Jason shook his head.

"Come on Jason we have cookies," Abby said walking in past him with a tray of fresh cookies.

"No," Jason shook his head, "you guys have fun, I'm going to go do anything else."

-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

"Seriously Jason? Where do babies come from? These are questions he's not supposed to be asking yet." Brenda whined on Skype.

Jason laughed as he was stretched out on his bed, the laptop on his chest, "So what did you say?"

"I asked him if he wanted to get a puppy."

Jason burst out laughing.

Sam knocked and pushed open their bedroom door.

"Hey Sam's back."

"Okay I'm going to be strategize on new stalling tactics before Alec wakes up."

"Bye."

"Bye."

He closed the laptop.

"You're up late," Sam nodded as she started to strip.

"I wanted to wait up for you, see how your case went."

"Really you didn't want to wait up so you could talk to Brenda."

"Sam don't do this again."

"You used to go out of your way to avoid Brenda, now I feel like you're always talking to her, or texting her, or writing her emails."

"Nothing is going on between me and Brenda."

"Really," Sam crossed her arms in front of her body, "should I ask about Keesha then? Because I heard that Mac offered her a job."

"Mac what?" Keesha had gone back to Philly weeks ago.

"The mayor apparently wants fresh blood."

"I didn't hear that."

"Should I ask about Carly then? Because you're certainly hanging out with her and Josslyn a lot."

"Sam it's past one-"

"You're the one that was up, you seemed wide awake when you were talking to Brenda."

-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

"What the hell is your problem?" Jason's voice lifted as he dealt with Patrick's attitude yet again.

"You're around my wife every time I turn around and now my daughter?"

Jason had taken Sasha and Josslyn to the pumpkin patch, they had been over Michael's apartment when he stopped by and both girls had been ecstatic even though their outing with their brother and his girlfriend was their second visit each. So the next thing Jason knew he was offering to take them both again the following day. Sam had been caught up on a case, Carly and Michael had both said once was enough and AJ had been scheduled to work. So he had been more than relieved to see Robin and Emma at the field. It hadn't saved his back from being repeatedly hunched over with the girls examining the pumpkins still on the vine, but it had saved from things like bathroom visits, where the females currently were.

"What do you think Robin and I are doing?"

"I think you're making a move on her."

"I'm engaged."

"Weren't you supposed to marry Sam months ago?"

"Can you leave the rest of us out of the problems in your marriage? And the fact that your wife made-"

"I am NOT jealous of Robin."

"Maybe you should try dealing with it before you destroy your marriage again."

-o-o-o

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Brenda questioned from his computer screen as he sat behind his desk at ELQ.

"Lunch," Jason said lifting a sandwich.

"A little late isn't it?"

"I've had a busy day."

"So speaking of your day," Brenda smiled brighter.

"What?" He automatically frowned.

"I want to see more than the tie. This is the first time I've talked to you at ELQ. Come on…"

He laughed, "What do you want to see?"

"You in a suit willingly Jason," she leaned forward on that whine.

"I willing-"

"Putting on a suit to stay out of jail…not willingly."

He laughed again, but stood as he realized she was about to open her mouth. "There you go," he took a step back.

"Turn," she said gesturing with her finger.

"Are you trying to check out my ass?" Jason questioned as he was turning.

"Hey you're the one without his jacket on."

He quickly turned back.

Brenda was smiling at him from across the ocean.

-o-o-o

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

He met Brenda at the airport two days before Christmas. Sam decided she wanted to get married on New Year's morning. They would leave 2011 and it's many unhappy memories and start fresh with 2012. _Starting fresh was a lot easier said than done._

Keesha was living in Port Charles again with her daughter, Amaria, whom Morgan had promptly fallen head over heels in love with and she had accepted Edward's offer to live at the guesthouse. Every time he saw her on those familiar grounds, especially with her daughter, his mind yearned to go back in time. Then every time he saw her talking or laughing with AJ, he had a desire to violently rip his brother's head off.

He tried to think of it logically. They were both single. She was a good woman and he was proving himself to be a decent man. Sasha's mother was basically absent in her life and Mari's father lived in Florida. Jason couldn't deny she was good with Sasha. He _should _want a good mother for his niece.He _should_ want a good partner for his brother. But he didn't, not her. Anyone, but her.

He kept smiling through the wedding plans though. Sam deserved this. He just needed time to adjust. The feelings would weaken over time.

He was honestly smiling though seeing Brenda carting Alec through the airport on her hip even though he was more than big enough to walk. She stepped up her pace as she saw him, the single kid's book bag bouncing with every rushed step. She squealed and he couldn't help himself as he picked both her and Alec up at they hugged.

"You are so gorgeous," she said stepping back. "So incredibly and ridiculously beautiful, have I told you that lately?"

She had, every single time he smiled on Skype. He was constantly aware of how much he had once hurt her. "The view is pretty good from this end too." Brenda with her son, she had spent the past five months without a nanny, without working, just learning to be a mother to Alec. She practically glowed.

"Yea," Brenda looked down at her son, "my view's always pretty amazing," she bent to put him down.

"Bags are starting to come out," Jason nodded at the carousel. "I'm probably going to need you to help me Alec. How many bags did your mom bring?"

"Five!" Alec's eyes were wide; they had counted the bags several times.

"Five, for a week? That's impressive even for your mom."

"One was his," Brenda defended "and you're talking yourself out of a gift."

-o-o-o-

"Alexis can't stand me Sam," Jason argued the day before Christmas Eve as they were discussing their holiday plans, which in Sam's mind had consisted of only her family.

"You're my fiancée Jason, she needs to get over it."

"I said I would go tomorrow."

"Tomorrow isn't Christmas."

"It's close enough."

"Close enough really? So are you going to show up on New Year's Eve for our wedding because it's close enough."

"Sam my mother-"

"So your mother matters, but not mine."

"Everyone is going to be at the house."

"Not me and my sisters."

"My brother and my niece. Half of Port Charles is coming for lunch."

"So they won't notice if you aren't there."

"Brenda just flew in from Rome for our wedding."

"Oh that's right, Brenda, Keesha and Carly are all going to be at the house."

Jason still wasn't quite sure how Michael had managed to pull off the Carly feat. "Sam, we are getting married in a week."

"You're choosing to spend Christmas with your exes."

"I'm spending it with my family Sam and if you choose not to be there, then you can decide what that says because I'm going to your mother's the night before."

-o-o-o-

Carly showed up with a pensive look on her face as Shawn was in the driver's seat, Morgan and Joss were in the backseat. "We better get inside before I get dumped on by a pig. Michael here yet?"

"He and Abby were stopping for something."

"That kid bails I'm killing him."

Jason nodded.

-o-o-o-

Brenda had been teasing him for how the children kept climbing all over him as they had torn apart the train tracks to lay them down across the room. Teasing him one moment and being flung over his shoulder the next. He had been spinning her in circles as she was threatening to throw up all over him as Sam walked in with Alexis and the girls behind her.

"Merry," Brenda had begun as Jason had been lowering her to the ground, but when her feet hit the ground, and didn't find it, "shit." Jason held her straight, "I mean Christmas. Merry Christmas. I'm going to go hurl now."

"Real cute Jason," Kristina said walking into the room and flipping the bell on the Santa hat Carly had placed on him some time ago before rushing to Ethan's side.

-o-o-o-

"Is everything okay?" Brenda whispered as they passed each other on the way to the bathroom.

His twenty year old nephew had just gotten engaged…_No, no it was not._ He grunted.

"Jase, you know you can talk to me right?" She had spent the better part of the afternoon receiving daggers from Sam, Carly and Kristina, but Sam had also been glaring at Keesha, her daughter and Carly.

"Everything's fine Jason."

"Are you sure? With Keesha here-"

"Brenda," Jason warned.

"I saw you when AJ was teasing her about the mistletoe."

"Let it go," he tried to walk away.

"Jason."

He turned back.

"I tried to marry Jax when I wasn't over Sonny, Carly tried the same thing. You saw how that ended. Don't promise forever if you can't give it to her Jason."

-o-o-o-

"I thought you left?" Keesha asked walking into the living room.

"Carly forgot Rufus, I told her I would get him."

Keesha smiled, "She could have come by Brenda and AJ took the kids sledding."

Jason smiled.

"So, I may never eat again," she placed a hand on her stomach.

"Always nice when the food makes it to the dinner table," Jason smiled and walked to grab Rufus from the sofa.

Keesha laughed, but when Jason turned to look at her again her expression was serious. "About what Brenda said to AJ…"

_"Come on, you really won't be my date New Year's Eve? I'm an excellent dancer amongst other things."_

_"AJ do you remember the fact that you dated my sister? You used to sleep with Julia," she laughed as she batted him away, "that's disgusting."_

_The room full of adults grew quiet._

_"This house needs booze," Carly announced._

"Keesha."

"Please Jason just let me," her hands raised. "He was the last part of you I had."

"Keesha," he tried to silence her, he couldn't hear this.

"You were gone Jason. Only you weren't gone. You were cold and vacant and I meant nothing to you. I couldn't even grieve for you because you weren't gone."

"Keesha, I-"

"You what Jason?"

He kissed her. He kissed her until he heard noises then like a coward he took the bunny and ran.

-o-o-o-

"I'm marrying Sam," Jason told Keesha the next day as he finished apologizing for the kiss.

"Why?" Keesha stuck her chin out as she asked.

"Because I love her."

"Are you sure? The rest of your life is hopefully a really long time. Can you honestly say you're ready to commit to a woman who doesn't really know you? Who doesn't even want to try to get to know the new you? Because you're not going to be Jason Morgan again. I spent years waiting for you to be Jason Quartermaine again; I know what it's like to wait in vain."

"I'm not him."

"I know you aren't Jason," she shook her head slowly as she looked up at him with a small smile, "I'm not that girl either. We all change Jason. If Sam can't accept that," Keesha shrugged. "It's your life Jason."

_Was it really?_

-o-o-o-

Jason was not a fan of his bachelor party. The night before New Year's Eve and Carly had shut down the Metro Court for the celebration, she had even promised to get along with Brenda and AJ for the night. He hadn't wanted a party, but obviously he hadn't gotten a say in the matter, not with Brenda and Carly both in favor of it.

Sam already had her party two weeks prior at Jake's where there had been three strippers for every female thanks to Diane.

Jason had wrongly assumed he would be avoiding that since Carly and Brenda had been in charge of planning it. Only Carly had decided to use the event to embarrass her future daughter in law because the strippers had ended up being former coworkers of Abby's. A blowup between Carly and Michael had quickly occurred where Carly had feigned innocence and AJ ended up stepping in between mother and son. Brenda had practically thrown herself on top of Jagger, who had returned as part of the mayor's plan for fresh blood on the force and Robin made it worse by repeatedly shoving them together. Spinelli started a fight with Matt, Patrick ended up getting clocked in the jaw instead. Dillon was getting it all on film, like it was a wildlife documentary.

He hadn't thought it could get any worse, then Brenda and Robin had started to test out the stripper pole, it at least distracted Spinelli, Patrick and Jagger. He had been going for a walk to escape the scene when Michael slammed into him, eyes wide and looking ready to puke. "What's wrong?"

His head shook, his hand gestured back and coming out of the coat check was a disheveled Carly.

"Michael," she was calling his name, she froze as she saw Jason.

"Mike," AJ said emerging with his shirt untucked.

"Alcohol, lot's of alcohol. I need to black this out," Michael told him.

Jason nodded and turned.

"Jason this really isn't what it looks like," Carly called after him.

-o-o-o-

On New Year's Eve they were back at the Metro Court. Sam was spending the night with her mother and sisters and when Brenda had asked him to, 'Spend the night before your wedding with your ex wife?' Jason had agreed. He had been agreeing to a lot of things this visit just to see her smile, trying to make up for years of hurt in a week. He had also agreed in an attempt to keep himself occupied.

Of course with Carly dancing with Shawn and AJ dancing with Keesha; both doing their best to ignore each other…Michael unable to keep his eyes off his mother and biological father, while Abby kept trying to focus his attention back on her. Every time Keesha laughed, Jason wanted to walk over to her and tell her what AJ had been up to the night before. They weren't anything though, not yet. They were there as friends and AJ had told him Keesha had made it very clear that was all they would ever be.

Brenda had danced with Edward, Ned, Jagger and AJ once apiece, but turned the rest away, claiming this was her last night as the only Mrs. Morgan and she was going to take advantage of it.

It was a little before ten before she looked up mid-dance, "Can you believe we actually made it to this point?"

He looked down with a confused smile because maybe she had been right, maybe a relaxed night out with his friends had been what he needed and for just a few brief seconds he had forgotten everything, but the song playing and the feel of her in his arms.

"We both got that other person that makes it all worthwhile," she scrunched her face a bit, "gotta tell you. Thought mine would be a little taller."

He laughed, "Actually so did I."

She laughed and pressed her cheek into his chest.

"Are you really happy?" Jason had repeatedly listened to Brenda declare that Alec was all she needed.

Her head tilted up at him, "I tried the other way. It didn't work for me. But I have Alec and we don't need anything else."

Jason frowned as they turned to see Jagger staring at them. "Really?"

"Okay maybe the occasional torrid affair."

"Brenda," Jason's eyes closed, his head was thrown back, "you didn't."

"Oh calm down," she laughed and hit his chest.

He looked down at her.

"Not yet," Brenda smirked.

Jason groaned.

-o-o-o-

There were twenty minutes left of 2011 when Jagger sat down next to him, while the girls were headed to the bathroom, arm in arm laughing.

"Back when we were kids, did you ever think this was where we'd end up?" Jagger said looking out onto the glamorous for the night individuals, thinking back to when high living was his bedroom at Kelly's.

Jason's brow narrowed, he had been thinking about that a lot. He saw AJ off in a corner attempting to reason with Michael. AJ hadn't exactly been embraced by his biological son, but Michael hadn't been able to deny the fact that AJ hadn't abandoned him and more importantly hadn't made any effort to screw him up further for quite some time. Michael had remembered Collin Walker's voice just as he had everyone else's from his hospitalization. He knew that man's efforts had been part of the reason he had been able to leave the hospital so quickly after he'd recovered. Michael didn't embrace AJ's lifestyle though. Still working as a physical therapist, Edward barely even harassed him on that anymore. Still living in the same brownstone apartment, Edward criticized that frequently. His car was under 50 thousand, he only wore suits on special occasions and a night out meant a game of pool at Jake's, but that was rare because he had to get a babysitter.

AJ didn't lead a glamorous life, but he led a contented one just as he had all those years ago before the lie Carly had perpetrated regarding Michael. AJ didn't generally push Michael, they more coexisted around Sasha and that was okay with them. This rare argument was definitely about Carly because she wasn't interfering and was doing everything in her power to stop Shawn from noticing.

Monica was chatting with the new oncologist, twice divorced and recently relocated from Manhattan for some quiet upstate living. _Did she just flip her hair?_

Edward was frowning at something Tracy said; then scowling at Luke.

"Aside from divorced from Brenda," Jagger smirked.

Jason turned.

"Oh come on, she left me for you," Jagger relaxed his shoulders back as he leaned into the chair.

"She-"

"Fine, she left because of you," Jagger laughed. "You're still the only one Brenda ever really listens to. Robin's too nice."

Jason didn't say anything, it certainly never felt as if she listened to him.

Jagger leaned forward and sighed, "We probably should have just stayed how it was."

Jason's brow burrowed.

"I should have stayed away from Karen. She was better off with you. Brenda-" Jagger nodded slowly, "we were better suited."

"So you're feeling nostalgic, is that why you're going after Brenda?"

"Brenda didn't tell you?"

"Lucy's decided to update our ad campaign for Deception."

"She what?"

"We did test shoots the day after Christmas. I'm flying back to Rome with Brenda to shoot it. Then apparently," Jagger's eyes rolled back looking none too pleased, "we're doing the talk show circuit for it. You know where we are after twenty years."

"Mac's okay with-"

"The money's too good for me to turn down. Mac understands," Jagger loved his job, but he loved his son more.

"So you and Brenda?"

"Maybe," he focused ahead at nothing. He smiled suddenly, "You know Karen, when we first moved to Seattle, thought you and Brenda would get together." Sonny had been a self-destructive phase to Karen, so she figured Brenda would get over it too. When Gina told me about you two getting married, I almost called just to hear her tell me I told you so."

"Being with Brenda won't bring Karen back."

Jagger let out a breath of a laugh, "I should have never been with Karen. I should have listened to Brenda in the first place. I wanted to belong with Karen, but-" his head shook leaving the rest unsaid.

-o-o-o-

"Are you okay?" Brenda asked before getting out of his car. He had insisted on driving her back to the house instead of letting her go with the Quartermaines. The night had gone smoothly, AJ had convinced Michael not to say anything to Shawn. Brenda hadn't run off to the coat check with Jagger. Spinelli disappeared, but had texted him shortly before midnight informing him his new femme fatale, put Brigid O'Shaughnessy to shame, Jason needed to remind him to stop mixing his personal life with his business, but that could wait.

Jason however wasn't ready for the night to be over because if the night was over that would mean morning had arrived. "I'm fine."

"Jason, you know you can talk to me. You've been quiet since midnight."

Midnight, when he had kissed Brenda chastely on the cheek as he checked to see what his brother did with Keesha.

"Just thinking."

"About…"

"You know you're supposed to think before you get married," he smirked at her trying to distract her.

"Jason if you need more time, no one-"

"I've been with Sam for-"

"No one doubts that you love Sam, but this year…" Brenda stopped herself, not wanting to bring up Jake's death, she still felt guilty that she had gotten back her son when he had lost his. "A lot's happened Jason. "

"That's why we're starting a new year," Jason nodded repeating Sam's words. Sam just seemed to want erase 2011.

"It's who you are now Jason," Brenda looked solemnly at him. Losing Alec in the first place had shifted her personality and even getting him back hadn't been able to remove the taint. It was more than Jason had a few more memories as well, it was more than he now donned a suit and went into the office. Jason was a son, he was a brother; he was a grandson.

"I know, now go to sleep, I'll see you in a few hours." Jason hadn't wanted the night to end, but he didn't want to have that conversation more.

"My phone's always on," she reminded him as she climbed out of the car.

-o-o-o-

Sam was leaning against the couch in a see-through, black babydoll and a pair of black heels.

He kept a blank look on his face, "Sam."

"Surprise," she offered when she didn't get a proper response.

"I thought you didn't want to see each other-"

"I did," she smiled and walked to him, "but then I realized we could have one more torrid night before we were a respectable married couple."

"Oh," he tried to be pleased to see her, but the thoughts in his head were louder now that she was before him.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" Sam threw her arms around him.

"Of course."

"Really?" Sam asked a moment later when he was still barely responding to her.

"Spinelli could walk-"

"Spinelli is currently holed up in a hotel room with Melody, I'm hoping he remembers our wedding in the morning."

There it was that cursed W would. He froze.

She noticed. "Jason," she stepped back, "what did Brenda say to you?"

"Brenda? Nothing."

"She asked you to spend the night before our wedding with her. I'm not going to believe that for a second."

"Brenda has never been your enemy Sam."

"You're right she's just the 3rd person in this relationship Jason. Four thousand miles away and it's like I have a sister wife."

"We're friends Sam," Jason quickly defended.

"Oh really are you friends with Keesha as well?"

He froze.

"Jason," Sam's eyes widened as she realized she had pushed him too far.

"I can't do this Sam."

"You're right. It's a new year, a new start, we shouldn't start it fighting," she tried to approach him.

His look stopped her. "There's no such thing as a new start Sam. My past, our past, it's still there."

"I know that."

"Do you really Sam? Because you keep wanting me to be Jason Morgan when we both know I'm not anymore."

"You can change your name," she quickly offered.

"It's not that Sam. The person that I was, I'm never going to be him again. Too much has changed."

"I know that."

"I don't think I did," Jason's voice wasn't much more than a whisper.

She pouted slightly in confusion.

"I wanted everything to be the same, even though I knew everything was changing."

"What are you saying Jason?" Her eyes widened once again.

"I don't know who I am Sam."

"So we'll-"

His head shook, "That's something I need to figure out on my own.

"What are you saying Jason?" Her head shook.

"I can't marry you."

"Tomorrow or ever?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

"You don't **know**? How can you not know? Our wedding is in hours. YOU asked me to marry you. You said you were ready for this."

"I thought I was. I wanted to be."

"You wanted to be Jason?" Sam's voice cracked, he tried to go to her, but she held up her hands. "Loving you has been the only thing I've ever been sure about in my entire life."

"Sam-"

"GET OUT!" She screamed at him, "Go back to Keesha or Brenda or Carly…You have chosen EVERYONE over me since the accident."

"I never meant-"

"GET OUT!" She screamed again, following him to the door and slamming it shut after him before collapsing to the floor in tears.

He stood outside the door for minutes listening to her cry before slowly turning and leaving.

-o-o-o-

Jason let himself into the darkened mansion. He stood in the vestibule. Wondering if he should turn around and head to the hotel for he had sworn never to return.

He didn't know how long he had been standing there before Brenda appeared at the top of the stairs in stretch pants and a long sweatshirt, for a moment he wished he had gone back in time. Back in time to a place before he had screwed everything up, before he had destroyed the lives of so many women he had loved.

Brenda silently made her way down the stairs and soon her arms were wrapped around him.

-o-o-o-

She sat on the sofa with his head in her lap, running her fingers through the now overpriced haircut.

He hadn't wanted to talk about it, so they weren't talking about it.

"Are you happy at ELQ?" the hair made her question.

"It keeps me busy," he answered.

"Not the question."

"Oddly enough, yea I guess I am."

"Oddly?"

"I never wanted to be there. One of the few things I always 'knew' was that I didn't want to be there."

"And then you end up at ELQ and AJ ends up at the hospital."

He smiled slightly, "Funny how it works out."

"I'm amazed Edward let him get away with that," she smiled back.

"Me too," he smiled back. Edward had not so subtly suggested ELQ to AJ on occasion, but he had never pushed it. Maybe he was happy to have Michael or maybe, just maybe Edward was happy that AJ was happy with what he was doing.

"He did end up with you and Michael though," Brenda's fingers teased at his hair.

He had gone in to help Michael with a crisis and never left. It had been two days into straightening out the mess that Edward had appeared in the door with Tracy and smugly informed her, _'I told you he was a natural.' _Jason had then stayed to help keep Michael on track, but the more he got Michael on track the more he was being given his own items to handle.

It had been the look of pride and hope in Edward's eyes, the day he showed up in a suit realizing he needed to sit in on a meeting Michael was having, that had kept him there.

"You know it's all going to be okay, right?" Brenda spoke suddenly after minutes of silent and the only noise her fingers in his hair.

He almost snorted.

"It's really hard to walk away, even when we know we should."

"And you knew I should?" He raised an eyebrow.

Brenda pursed her lips for a moment, wondering if she should say anything. "Sam was really involved in your old life."

Jason focused upwards, "Meaning?"

"I dated Jax and Sonny."

His eyes narrowed, "Are you saying I'm boring now?"

She pulled his hair and he smiled up at her again.

"Jax wasn't boring. It's just you know, no bullets flying at you, worrying if the other person is coming home," she stopped smiling, "having a normal, functioning life. Family events. Actually your family are the Quartermaines, who are we kidding, even I feel sane with you guys." She smiled again.

He didn't quite believe her smile. "That is impressive."

She laughed and hit him on the chest, causing him to curl up a bit as he laughed.

-o-o-o-

"Have they been like that all night?" Monica whispered to Alice.

"Since I came down at 6."

"How is Brenda sleeping like that?" Monica wondered at Brenda's awkwardly thrown back head.

"I'm not anymore," her voice still bleary with sleep.

Her slight shift woke Jason, "What happened?" He shot up.

"We were wondering the same thing; shouldn't you be home, getting ready for your wedding?" Monica questioned.

Brenda stopped stretching and her eyes widened.

Jason didn't say anything.

Monica turned to Alice, "Tell Cook to put on an extra pot of coffee. This is going to be a long day."

* * *

**Last part up this weekend. Most likely Sunday. Thanks again for reading. **


	42. A Modern Day Fairy Tale Part 3

So what you need to recall about this fic:

1) Jason gets his memories back.

2) Turns out AJ was alive and living in PC and Jason knew (Carly and AJ start up an affair), AJ has a daughter close to Josslyn's age.

3) Jagger is back in town, Brenda is still living out of town, but they are involved in a Deception campaign.

4) Keesha has returned to town and there is still something between her and Jason. Jason calls off his wedding to Sam at nearly the last minute.

5) Michael is engaged to Abby and works at ELQ with Jason.

* * *

**A Modern Day Fairy Tale Part 3  
**

_"Do you want to go out?"_ Jason couldn't believe he had said those words less than a week after his failed nuptials. However, the words had just slipped out after Keesha had mentioned Mari was having a sleepover at a friend's house. It should have been his first Friday night as a married man, but it wasn't. It was his first Friday as a new man, a man he didn't know how to be, a man he sometimes questioned if he even wanted to be.

A man who was having a very awkward 2nd first date with a former girlfriend at a Malaysian restaurant, nearly forty minutes outside of Port Charles.

"This is bad isn't it," she asked holding up a spring roll.

"No, I just had-"

"I don't mean this Jason, I mean this," she waved between them.

"I think it used to go smoother," he chuckled.

"It's not like we don't have things to talk about."

"I know."

"It's just that it's all-"

"Stuff we don't want to talk about?"

"Exactly," she nodded.

"So what should we do?"

"Hmmm we could talk about the fact that your brother is sleeping with Carly?"

"You know?"

"Oh yea," she took a bite.

"Yea, let's not," he frowned down at his food having lost his appetite.

She laughed, "Brenda and Jagger sleeping together?"

"When did that happen?" Jason's eyes were wide. _It couldn't have happened in Port Charles…_

"I don't know if it did, but Robin's face…" Keesha smiled and shrugged.

Jason frowned. "New topic."

"Did anything ever happen between you and-"

"No," he shot off before she could ask.

"I had to ask," Keesha shrugged again. She chuckled again, "So what are we supposed to talk about?"

"No one's sex life," he ordered.

She laughed.

He laughed with her realizing how silly he sounded.

-o-o-o-

"Wanna park?" Keesha asked with a twinkle in her eye. They had made out like teenagers against the frozen car as they left the restaurant and really that should have been more than enough for a first date, especially at their age. Only it wasn't a first date and all it had done was reawaken the dreams that had long since been dormant.

His lips twitched up in a smile, "What happens if we get caught?"

"Hmm we don't know anyone on the police force do we?" She smiled.

He headed towards the point.

-o-o-o-

He dropped Keesha at the guest house and resisted the urge to follow her in. He composed himself to walk inside, sure that he was no longer disheveled. The guilt was overwhelming, breaking in the backseat of his car…It also proved what he had suspected, he had been in no way ready to marry Sam.

"Good evening Jason," Alice nodded at him.

"Evening," he nodded back and resisted the urge to take the stairs two at a time.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Sam returned from their honeymoon on the 8th, she had followed her mother's advice and taken Kristina. She walked into the penthouse calm, for they had decided that Jason would be waiting with an apology and hopefully a rose covered living room. He had been through a lot, it had been wrong for her to expect him to follow through on the plans they had made prior. He needed time and now that she had calmed down, she had resigned herself to the life they had before.

She frowned walking into the empty apartment, "Jason?" She called out as she dropped her bag.

"Fair Samantha," Spinelli rushed into the room on her second 'Jason.'

"Hi," she smiled. "Where's Jason?"

"Stone Cold," the nickname remained even though it was the last phrase Spinelli would use to describe Jason now, "is still at the Quartermaines."

"Oh….Why?"

"The Jackal is not privy to the inner-workings of-"

"Has he been back?"

"He returned briefly on Monday-"

"What did he say?"

Spinelli paused.

"Just tell me what he said."

"He left that for you," Spinelli pointed at the desk.

Sam rushed at the manila envelope. Tore it open and froze, "What is this?"

"The deed to the penthouse."

"But-"

"They moved out his things."

"They?"

"The Prodigal Brother."

"So he's just…gone?"

"He said to tell you, he's sorry, again."

"He just left?"

Spinelli's mouth opened, but no words came out.

"We were happy…Weren't we happy?"

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Brenda laughed, loudly of course, but her eyes just as always sparkled from across the ocean. "Okay," she stood, her body covered by the red satin robe. She turned slowly keeping the robe on, teasing at just a shoulder, then suddenly with her back turned to him she let it drop.

She laughed as she turned back, short red shorts and a white sports bra.

"Didn't you wear more clothing last time?"

"I know," she laughed and sat, "I tried telling Lucy that."

"Tried telling Lucy what?" Jagger asked walking over, hunkering down behind her so he could see the laptop, "Hey Jason," he nodded.

"Hey Jagger," he nodded back and kept the frown off his face.

"My original outfit had a lot more material."

"Yea, but you still look amazing in this one," he smiled down at her, she smiled up, "Lucy says five minutes."

"Okay."

"Talk to you later Jason."

"See ya."

Brenda smiled after Jagger, she turned back eventually, "What?"

"Do you remember how this ended the first time around? How about the second?"

Brenda rolled her eyes, "I'm a big girl Jason."

"Then why do you keep doing the exact same thing and expecting the outcome to change?"

"Jagger is not Sonny," she hissed at him.

"I never-"

"I need to go. I'll talk to you later."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Kids aren't back yet," was all Carly said as she opened the door to see AJ.

"Do I get to wait inside or are you going to leave me on the porch?"

"Don't tempt me," she turned her back on him, her hips swishing as she walked further into the house.

He steeled himself against saying anything, "Do you know what time they'll be back?"

"I'm not Mercedes' jailer, they're out playing."

"I'm asking because it's almost lunch time and you know Sasha gets cranky if she doesn't eat on schedule."

"Well then you should have packed her a snack," Carly snapped back.

"I did. The snack was for 10."

"You know you could go get her from that play place…" she waved her hand.

"Jumbaroo Bob's?"

"I know what it's called."

"Why didn't you go with them, since you're home and apparently doing nothing," he said looking at her as she flipped through a magazine.

"Because I have a nanny and that means I don't have to go to places that are called Jumbaroo Bob's. Why don't you have your own nanny?"

"I actually like spending time with my daughter."

She put the magazine down and glared at him, "Don't you dare-"

"Hey you're the one reading a magazine when you could have been spending the morning with your daughter-"

"Jesus," Morgan exclaimed walking down the stairs, "you two are fighting again? It's like you're married. I'm going to go over to Craig's," he nodded.

"Hi Morgan," AJ nodded.

"Do you need me to drive you?"

"It's a block away."

"But it's cold out."

"I'll be fine Mom, I have a coat."

"Okay call me when you get there."

"Again. A block. I'll be back in time for dinner."

"But-"

As the door shut behind Morgan, AJ snickered, "Great parenting."

She turned back with a glare, but was interrupted by her cell phone. She picked it up, "Hey Mercedes, everything okay?" Mercedes spoke and Carly repeated the question to AJ, "Apparently the kids are screaming that they want pizza because a penguin is serving it."

He made a face.

"They can stay for pizza Mercedes. I'll see you in like an hour."

He opened his mouth.

She beat him, "You act like you're so much better than me, but there is no way in hell you'd eat a pizza being served by a penguin."

"I would-" he started to argue back.

"You talk too much," she said moving to quickly straddle him.

"Feel free to shut me up," he grinned up.

So she did. Only they weren't smiling when 30 minutes later Shawn walked in on them.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Where is Jason?" Carly screeched into the phone.

"I'm not my brother's keeper, what's wrong?"

"Joss climbed out of her crib," Carly exclaimed in a panic.

"Is she okay?" He had been lounging on the couch attempting to block out the obnoxious characters his daughter was watching on tv screen, but he shot up the moment he heard those words.

"She's fine, she thought it was hilarious." Joss had walked smugly out of the room and still had the devilish gleam in her eyes by the time Carly caught her running down the hallway.

He collapsed back down, ordering his heart to calm. "So then it's time for a toddler bed."

"Why do you think I'm trying to find Jason?"

_His brother who was currently holed up in a B&B with Keesha for the afternoon. _AJ sighed, "Do you have a conversion kit?"

"Please I was not getting one of those tacky cribs."

"I'll meet you at that giant baby store in 30 minutes."

"Fine," she hung up.

He stared at his phone for a moment, "You're welcome Carly," he said sarcastically before looking down at Sasha. "Want to go see Carly and Joss?"

She lit up and sprung to her feet just like he knew she would.

-o-o-o-

"Michael," Carly called out walking into her house holding the hands of the two little girls, they had pulled up to find his car in the driveway, when he had never returned any of her calls.

"Hey Mom," he and Morgan didn't turn back from their video game.

"Don't hey Mom me. I called you three times and I texted you," she said going to bend down to start getting the girls out of their cold weather gear, while working around small toys they had gotten at the store and were captivated by.

"Yea, it's why I came in with Morgan. What's up?"

"What's up is your sister climbed out of her crib today so I needed your help getting her a toddler bed before she cracked her skull open."

Michael groaned and hit pause, which caused Morgan to groan as well. "Come on," he nodded at his brother. "Oh hey," Michael said as he turned to see his mother with two little girls instead of just one.

"Yea," she nodded at him, "AJ more useful than you. Think about that. Both of you go help him before he pulls something. We're going to go get a snack."

-o-o-o-

Michael walked out of the room on a phone call. As AJ and Morgan were still attempting to assemble the pink plastic bed that had taken over two hours to pick out and a lot of coaxing to convince Carly the cheap looking bed wasn't the end of the world, when Joss loved it. Then again when she wanted the Backyardigans bedding set, which weren't exactly a match with the Disney princess bed. Which resulted in him and the kids having to follow Carly through the store as she attempted to find things that would unify the room.

"Why are you doing this?" Morgan questioned.

"Because I doubt your mother would be much help and you need two sets of hands."

"No, I mean for my mom. Why did you go get the bed and everything?"

"Because your mom needed help."

"Mom could have hired someone."

"I didn't get to do this for Michael," AJ stayed focused on the bed and not the inquisitive young boy.

"Shawn and my mom broke up."

"I heard."

"Michael says it's because of you."

"Maybe Michael should stay out of it."

"That's what Mom said."

They were both silent for a moment, AJ hoping the young boy would let the subject drop otherwise he'd be forced to wonder why he had done this.

"Why'd you let my dad raise Michael?"

That stopped AJ, but he still didn't look up. "I didn't have a choice."

"Like Jax?"

"Yea, I guess so."

"I'm sorry."

AJ looked up, "Don't apologize for him."

"But-"

"You aren't responsible for him. You don't ever need to apologize for him."

-o-o-o-

Michael left mid-bed. Whose completion came prior to dismantling the old crib so it could be moved out of the room. Which was prior to Carly deciding that all the furniture needed to be moved. That at least came after a dinner of pizza.

It was almost seven by the time AJ and Morgan finished up the room, applying every last one of the decals Carly had picked out. Morgan went off to his computer, while AJ went in search of Carly and the girls.

He found them in her bedroom, in her bed with a nearly asleep, blonde girl on each side of her, curled in and partially draped over her body. "Are you trying to steal my daughter?" He asked leaning against the edge of her doorway with a smile.

Carly smiled looking down and away from the animated movie they had been watching. "Maybe. She has Michael's nose and his ears and his-"

"Eyes," AJ finished.

"And she likes spending time with me. Let's swap," she looked up with a smile. "We can swap back when she's a moody teenager and Michael's out of his twenties."

"No way in hell, I just went through 2 and a half years of diapers. I deserve this time."

Carly pouted and looked back down.

AJ snorted, and then walked in the room, "So what are you watching?" He climbed up on Josslyn's side because there was more room.

"Who said you could join us?"

"I just spent my day off doing manual labor, I'm putting my feet up now," he informed her. "Right Joss?"

The little girl sleepily nodded, and then moments later shifted away from Carly to AJ.

She frowned, he smirked. They both fell asleep with the girls and the toddler bed went unused.

-o-o-o-

"Keesha?" Jason called her name as he awoke in her room to find her gone. Three weeks into whatever they were doing and Mari having another sleepover meant they could spend more than a few stolen moments with each other.

"We would have been happy," she was in her robe, looking out the window.

"What?" He was still bleary from sleep.

"We would have been happy right? House, kids, pets…" She nodded. "We would have had that."

"I wanted it."

"I wanted it to. Not then. But in the-"

"Future."

"We were so young," her eyes closed.

"I know."

"On our anniversary every year, I used to think about where we would be. The year we would have gotten married, the year you would have become a doctor, the year we would have had our first child."

"Where would we be now?"

"I don't know anymore," she shrugged, "because now that you're here again. I can't pretend that we were perfect and our lives would have been. We could have broken up from the strain of med school. Or you could have left me for Karen when you were an intern. Anything could have happened to us. I spent all these years thinking of the life that was stolen from me. Maybe we would have been fine, but maybe-"

"We would have fallen apart?" Jason said looking directly at her.

She nodded slowly, "Maybe," she whispered.

He pushed away the covers and stood. She kept her eyes trained on his as he solemnly walked over to her. She shuddered as he wrapped his arms around her, but she curled into him. They both knew what was being said, what they had been trying to ignore. They weren't the same people they had been. Maybe once it would have worked out, or maybe not. Living in the memory of who they had been, wasn't an option.

"Stay awhile?" Keesha whispered as tears slid down her cheeks.

"Yea," he gruffly said as he nodded.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"The roads are getting seriously nasty," Michael announced as he walked in his mother's front door.

Michael wasn't expecting AJ to be playing video games with his brother or AJ's exclamation, "You were driving in this?!" that caused his on-screen character to wipe out.

Morgan groaned, but was stopped saying anything by Michael.

"Why are you here?" Michael frowned at his biological father, hanging out with his little brother.

"Roads got bad."

"Why are you here in the first place?"

"We went to the indoor batting cages," Morgan nodded, "I asked if you wanted to hang out."

"Should have come, it was fun."

"Yes," Carly said walking into the room, "so much fun everyone ignored their phones for an hour."

"Actually that was when we were in the movies," Morgan smirked.

Carly rolled her eyes.

"What'd you see?" Michael quickly asked.

"Underworld."

"I told you, we'd go see that together."

"Uh yea, 2 weeks ago. You've bailed on me like 3 times. It was really good, you should see it."

Michael glared at his brother, then turned to his mother, "Why is AJ here?"

"AJ is in the room," AJ announced.

Carly shrugged quickly, "AJ can leave. Sasha is not going out in this and why the hell are you out in this?"

-o-o-o-

The snow made the world silent, but AJ and Carly were busy trying to drown that out with the television because silence meant you either had to think or talk. They were alone downstairs because while Michael had decided to stay, he had no interest in hanging out with his parents and instead ordered his brother upstairs and the girls were sound asleep, sharing the tiny toddler bed. Mercedes had just come in from the blustery cold, but it hadn't put a damper on her mood after her day out with her new boyfriend.

"She seemed happy," AJ nodded as Carly was now ferociously flipping through the channels.

"Yea," Carly nodded.

AJ chuckled a bit, "You're jealous," as he realized Carly was practically scowling at the tv.

"No I'm not I'm annoyed that I'm paying like a hundred bucks a month for television and there's never anything on."

"You know," AJ stretched back and put his feet up on the coffee table. "I don't think happy is supposed to be as much work as we make it out to be. I think it's focusing on what you have, not what you don't."

She rolled her eyes.

"Come on, look at all the poor happy people. The people dying in the hospital that are still smiling."

"They're freaks."

"Come on," AJ nodded, "you got everything you wanted when you were younger. You have money, you have power. You have three healthy and happy children."

"And I'm happy," she nodded.

He scoffed.

"I am."

"What more could you possibly want Carly?"

"Peace and quiet?" She turned her head to him.

He didn't break their gaze.

"My 20 year old son NOT to be engaged to a former-"

"Those are Michael's mistakes to make."

"Michael has been through enough-"

"Michael is a grown up. I was asking about you."

"My children are-"

"Happy and fine at the moment. You look for problems."

"I do-" Carly scowled.

"Think about it," he nodded. "The kids are all safe and sound upstairs and you're sitting next to someone you have incredible sex with-"

"Incredible is push-"

"Entirely true," he smirked. "I know all of your warts, I'm obviously not dumb enough to try to change them anymore, since let's be honest you win. Unfairly, but you keep winning."

Her turn to smirk.

"You should be happy."

"Don't make it seem like we're," her hands fluttered between them, "more than we are."

"See that's just the thing. We could be, only you won't let us."

"You're an ass," she firmly reminded him.

"And you're a bitch," he quickly countered.

"Was that an argument in favor of us being together?"

"Our lives fit together, we fit together."

"No we don't," she shook her head.

"Yes we do," he said going to pull her into him, "because if we didn't. This wouldn't be between us."

"There's nothing," Carly said struggling not to lean into his lips.

"Stop holding yourself back from being happy," he ordered her.

"The kids are upstairs," she reminded him.

"I'm not doing anything, but talking," he pointed out.

"Maybe you should be."

"Maybe you should say yes and I'd consider it."

_She would not cave, she would not cave…_"Yes to what exactly?"

"Us, dating. The things that lead to us getting to do this at night, all night if we wanted," he nipped at her lip. She tried to capture his mouth. "Agree," he reminded as his hand started to move up her thigh.

"Fine," she was broken by the hand that wasn't upon her, but instead next to her on the couch.

It quickly moved and he didn't say anything, gloating in his victory would only earn him another war.

They got caught up, their minds just starting to realize they should change rooms when they heard, "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" from a horrified Michael. The pair quickly separated.

"Ugh go to your room," Morgan had his eyes closed.

"Go to your," Michael turned in outrage to his brother, "are you serious?"

"They normally go somewhere private."

"NORMALLY?!"

"Yea when AJ goes to help Mom, you **don't** follow."

"You're," Michael shuddered and closed his eyes, "you promised it was a one time thing. How could you two-"

"You are aware if we didn't, you wouldn't be here today right?" Carly said standing. "So maybe you should just get over it?"

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"I thought all women are supposed to love Valentine's Day?" Jagger smiled into his phone as he waited at the hospital to hear about the ELQ employee that had just been attacked.

Jason frowned and tried not to overhear as he leaned in closer.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Rough day?" Brenda asked taking in Jason's disheveled appearance, the loosened tie, the hair that had his hands run through it too many times, the shirt sleeves rolled up.

"You have no idea," he leaned back into his chair.

"Why are you up so late?"

"I'm bored, I need an adult to talk to."

"I'm honored."

"Don't be," she smirked, "Robin was in surgery."

"So what did you want to talk about?" He smiled loosening his tie.

"Anything."

"I haven't done anything, but work since the last time we talked," he admitted.

"I haven't done anything, but be with Alec and I seriously need to not talk about child related activities."

He laughed, he knew what she meant, he was sick of the four walls surrounding him.

"Tell me a story," she lazily smiled at him.

"A story?"

"Bedtime story," she stretched.

His eyebrows lifted.

"Pamper me Jason," she whined and tugged her laptop with her as she shifted.

"Comfy?" He asked seconds later as the laptop was now on her stomach as she was laying down.

"Do I have a double chin?"

"No."

"Liar," she laughed and rolled to her side, moving Jason yet again. "Okay go."

He laughed, then leaned forward, "Once upon a time."

"Better be a hot prince."

He snorted, "You are obviously never allowed to write a children's book."

"Whatever, just include him."

"Once upon a time, a new princess entered the court; she came from a land far, far away. She was the prettiest princess in the entire kingdom and she knew it."

Brenda smirked.

"But she wasn't a good and sweet princess, no those princesses were boring. The balls were dull, so was court life, the princess couldn't stand that. She threw random parties in the queen's rooms. She took off on wild stallions-"

Brenda snorted.

"The princess was bored. There was nothing her handmaiden or the White Knight could do to entertain her. One day she saw the Black Knight on the wildest stallion of all and she knew he was what she needed. Only the Black Knight had seen the Fair Maiden Karen first, she was already promised to the White Knight-"

"Farm Boy," Brenda interrupted.

"Really?"

"The hair, come on…Not to mention the pirate thing kind of works later on."

He sighed, "Fine, farm boy. The princess grew furious as the Black Knight, Farm Boy and Handmaiden all adored the Fair Maiden."

Brenda rolled her eyes, then shot up before Jason could continue.

"Mommy?"

She was off screen, but Jason could hear them, "What's wrong baby?"

"I don't feel good."

"Aww baby, let's go see if we can fix that."

Jason couldn't help, but smile at the mother that once spoiled princess had grown up to be.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"The most annoying sound ever," Carly frowned at the run flat tire as she stood in the ELQ parking lot, having sent Morgan in with Joss to give Michael her keys, she of course had a set of his on her ring. "More like run me up a wall." Michael at least hadn't gotten around to removing the car seat in his car from his outing with his sisters over the weekend as he deemed her and AJ a bad influence, otherwise Jason would be summoned downstairs. She had quickly tossed their things into his car, went through his glove box and tapped impatiently on the steering wheel before deciding to wait for the kids at the front of the building. She pulled out and decided to take a loop around the lot to kill time, not to check out to see if that Land Rover she saw was AJ's. _It was._

"Stupid bag," she was muttering, trying to pull out her phone as she approached the building once again. Her eyes flickered down once and by the time they flickered up again she had to swerve to avoid the car coming out of the row, ignoring the fact that they were supposed to yield. It would have been fine if only the brakes worked.

-o-o-o-

"Could you send AJ in please?" Carly said in an uncharacteristically nice manner leaving Robin to wonder if she didn't have more than just a mild concussion.

"Sure. Do you want me to send in-"

"Just AJ," she snapped.

_Carly was fine._

Less than a minute passed before the door once more opened and Carly was greeted with the face she now associated with AJ. "You need to take Morgan and Joss."

"Yea, me and Sash will spend the night at-"

"No, I mean in case anything happens to me, I need you to-"

"Carly it was just a little accident."

"His brake line was cut."

"We don't know-"

"If I had just pulled out onto the main road, instead of going around that parking lot, the three of us could have been dead."

The main road outside of ELQ with a posted speed of 40mph, but most cars were going 50. AJ didn't want to think about that. "Ca-"

"I know that Michael is a grown man, I know as much as I hate it, I might never get him out of Sonny's life. I can't trust him with Morgan and Josslyn. If something happens to me, I need to know they will never be a part of that life."

He didn't say anything.

"I did this to Michael. I know that. I don't need I told you so's, I need you to promise you won't let the same thing happen to Morgan and Joss."

He nodded.

"If anything ever happens to me, I know you're the only one that will keep Morgan away from Sonny."

He nodded.

"Michael lied to my face when I asked him if he was involved in the business," Carly said morosely looking up at the ceiling.

"I'll talk to him."

"He won't listen," she shook her head in defeat, "everyone has tried."

-o-o-o-

"Thanks," AJ nodded as he climbed out of Jason's car having left the kids with Mercedes as he went to retrieve his car still in the ELQ parking lot since he had climbed into Jason's along with the kids to follow after Carly and Michael in the ambulance.

"No problem. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Yea."

Soon AJ was behind the wheel of his own car, the lights of Jason's still behind him as his brother waited for him to pull out. He turned the key, but the car wouldn't start. Soon Jason was out of his car ordering AJ to pop the hood. AJ stood to the side, trying to figure out how to be useful as Jason had his head under the hood.

"Can you try starting it?"

"Yea," AJ nodded and was soon smiling as the car turned over without a problem. When Jason didn't close the hood or even speak, AJ climbed back out, "So what was the problem?"

"Cable between the starter and the battery."

"What was it loose?"

"Disconnected."

"How the hell did-" AJ suddenly stopped speaking.

"You were supposed to take Michael's car," Jason said coldly. He had been out at a business lunch, he only returned to the office when his secretary had called to tell him what happened. Michael's car would have been the only choice for AJ to take. With Sonny as Michael's father, they would have looked at Sonny's enemies, never Sonny himself.

"Fuck."

"I knew Sonny was taking it too well." _AJ with Carly, AJ with Morgan…_

"So Sonny's trying to kill me."

Jason nodded slowly still staring at the car.

"Should probably call Mac, in case he ends up succeeding. We can't tell Carly," he ordered before picking up the phone.

-o-o-o-

"Do you want to talk about it?" Brenda asked softly from her place in bed with Jason, in bed being on a laptop resting on a pillow.

The scenes were replaying in his head. Seeing Carly being loaded into the ambulance. Finding the cable disconnected. Watching Sonny approach Carly by the nurse's station, the words flying between them. Sonny threatening to go back to court for Morgan. Then Carly announcing she and AJ were getting married.

It was news to Sonny; it was also news to AJ.

Jason knew that no matter how it happened there was no way AJ would let him share the news with Carly about the cable. Not after what Sonny did to Jax. A life with Carly was what AJ wanted. It was what AJ had wanted before he knew was Michael's dad before he even knew Carly was pregnant with Michael.

"I don't know what to do about Sonny," he admitted in a moment of exhaustion. It was half past midnight. Brenda was a bleary mess herself at 6:30am.

"You don't mean-"

"I can't do that anymore-" he quickly confessed. He wished he could though. He wished he could see a threat and take it out. He couldn't though, not when Sonny might still be stopped some other way.

"What did Mac say?"

"Mac wants to catch Sonny in the act. Nothing ever sticks to Sonny though."

"How can Sonny be doing this?"

"He thinks he knows best-"

"How can anyone possibly ever think that Carly was better for Josslyn than Jax?" _There it was, the downfall of her marriage. _It had put them on the path they ended up on and she got out of town in the nick of time. Jax's next flight out of Port Charles was his last.

"Br-"

"Fine. Sorry. She's at least making better decisions."

"We should talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"Like anything."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"We should do this more often," Jason said with a smile as he sat across the table at lunch.

Robin laughed, "We should have more hours in the day."

Jason laughed, "This is true."

"I've heard about this place before, I'm glad I'm finally trying it."

"It's in between ELQ and the hospital," Jason nodded.

Robin let out a laugh that caused bubbles in her juice.

"What's so funny?"

She shook her head, "Just you and AJ in a vegan restaurant." She smiled, "Actually YOU in a vegan restaurant."

"I have come a long way," he nodded in agreement.

"You have," she nodded with a smile.

"So what do you say, meet halfway once a month?"

"Sounds like a plan, if you let me try your burrito."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Jason was smiling the day AJ married Carly. He wasn't quite sure how he was smiling, but he was. Nearly twenty years after their first marriage had gutted him, their second had him smiling along with the rest of his family, even as Michael viewed the nuptials suspiciously. They were all there somehow in a rarely used formal living room of the mansion that had been rearranged for such an event. Bobbie and Monica sat next to each other with handkerchiefs in their hands hoping that this time their children would be happy with each other and they would attempt to act their age. Edward sat with dreams of future grandchildren and control over the 4 they had already gifted to him, wondering how soon would be too soon to suggest Morgan and Josslyn took the Quartermaine name. Morgan looked pleased to be standing up for his soon to be stepfather because there was finally a sense of normalcy that had been lacking in their lives since his mother and Jax had separated. The girls giggled with each other, as always, as if they knew the best secret in the world. Everyone else seemed to have set aside everything else at least for the brief ceremony because this was how it was supposed to be. The Quartermaine Mansion filled with family, dripping with opulence. The curse having finally seemed to have broken. Celebration instead of tragedy. It felt as if the entire town was celebrating.

-o-o-o-

Edward found Jason in Lila's barren rose garden after ending a business call. "Where's your date?"

"She was on call."

"She seems nice," Edward commented.

"Don't," Jason warned.

"I'm just-"

"Grandfather."

"Fine," Edward waved a dismissing hand.

Jason let out a small smile.

"Thank you," Edward quickly spoke.

Jason looked over with a wry expression, trying to figure out what his grandfather was up to now.

"For coming home, for giving us this."

"This is AJ and Carly's-"

"You are the lynchpin of this family. Everything I accused you of when you were…before. Your brother is here because of you. You let him find himself. You brought this family back together." Edward paused, "You were never my favorite because you were the smartest, you're the hope of this family, and you bring out the best in us."

Jason looked on in concern, worried his grandfather was having some type of episode.

"Because of you. I know this family will go-"

"Gr-"

Edward shook his head, "Lila will have my head if I don't say this. I know none of this has been easy on you. Everything you went through after the accident. Jake. Having to come back to your old life. You are the strongest one of us. You hold this family together. Our legacy isn't ELQ, our legacy is inside that house and I want you to promise me you won't ever forget that."

"I never have before," Jason smiled at him.

Edward smiled at him, "The smartest one in our family. Now if only you could find a wife."

"You know I was hours away from my wedding four months ago, can I get a little more time?"

* * *

Thanks for reading and all the reviews from the past 2 days. Um WWFO, highly doubtful, it isn't even on this laptop.


	43. A Modern Day Fairy Tale Part 4

AN: Um those were some seriously awesome reviews yesterday. FFN needs to figure out how to stay logged in on my phone, so I can respond straight when I read them. Seriously they kept me buzzed all day. Thanks guys! Here's the final piece to this fic.

* * *

**A Modern Day Fairy Tale**

_**Part 4**_

"What are you doing?" Jason asked appearing at Michael's door.

"Not you too," Michael turned on his heel and walked into his living room.

Jason followed, "Did you think I wouldn't come?" _When he had arrived home from a business trip to find out Michael had quit ELQ to work for Sonny. _

"I expected you of all people to respect my decision!"

"I-"

"You left my dad without-"

"I LEFT Michael. Twenty years and I left, so I am exactly the person that should be-"

"You expect me to sit behind a desk, while-"

"You can't take it back Michael. I would give anything to undo what I have done."

"You made your own choices."

"I made the wrong ones. I knew that the moment I nearly got you killed on the docks. I tried to leave, but-"

"But you didn't. You stayed."

"Because I couldn't see any other way. I'm telling you that this isn't something you have to do, no matter how indebted you feel to Sonny."

"He's my father."

"He doesn't want this life for you."

"Yes he does. I am Michael Corinthos the third my place is next to him."

"The Quartermaines are also your family. Our family. You're the one that always told me that." Jason recalled the young boy that had grown into the young man that had always been trying to lead him back to his family.

"I never said they weren't. Edward wants to control me. My mother wants to control me. You want to control me."

"And Sonny doesn't?"

"My dad trusts me to be my own man."

"What are you going to do when the person he asks you to take out is AJ?"

"He would never-"

Jason shifted his stance and furthered the question, "How are you going to stand by his side when he does to AJ what he did to Jax?"

"Didn't you hear? Sonny has proof Jax is still alive."

_He hadn't. _

"You think I don't see how you've all turned against my dad? You've turned Morgan on him too. You don't get us both," Michael shook his head.

"Hey," Abby said walking in the front door with an uneasy smile seeing them.

"Hi," Jason nodded.

Michael smiled.

"I could go-" Abby pointed behind her.

"No it's fine. Jason was just leaving," Michael nodded.

"Michael," Jason gave his nephew a look. His face was blank; he wondered if this is what he looked like to those who loved him all those years ago.

"We're done."

"No one's saying you have to work for ELQ. Just think before you do anything you can't take back. Think of the life you want for your own kids," he nodded at Abby.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Sonny," Brenda's voice cracked over the phone.

"No," Sonny's voice was ice as Brenda begged for Sonny to let go of his vendetta of Jax.

"Please Sonny, if I ever-"

"If you ever what Brenda? Promised to love me forever and then supported Jax-"

"In a custody fight because I thought he was the better parent. That was Jax and Carly that wasn't us."

"Wasn't it? You defended Jax because he wanted Josslyn away from me. You left to keep Alec away from me."

"I just couldn't Sonny, I tried."

"This was your whole plan all along, you left me for Jax. His plane-"

"Don't Sonny. Don't you dare. You cannot rewrite history. Jax and I are over and we've been over for years. I left because of us. Don't you dare accuse Jax-"

"He was in your ear the entire time. Pretty soon, he'll have Alec too. He's gathering up kids that he has no right to."

"You tried to keep him from his own daughter."

"For good reason."

"I…I need to go. I want what's best for you, Sonny. You have to let go of all this hate." Brenda hung up shaking before dropping to the floor in tears.

-o-o-o-

"I'm scared," Brenda whispered across the line.

Jason flew back in his seat, his feet ready to push off the floor and take off, out of ELQ. "What happened?"

"I don't even recognize Sonny anymore. I'm scared of what he's going to do. To Jax, to AJ."

"I won't-"

"To you," Brenda creaked out. "If you try crossing him Jason. I don't know what he'll do. I don't know this Sonny."

"I'll be fine."

"And Carly thought she'd be fine because Sonny loved her and he's shot her and could have killed her in a car accident."

"Br-"

Her phone beeped. "Dammit, it's Jax. I'm supposed to have dinner with him."

"Supposed to?" Brenda had admitted Jax had revealed his survival to her weeks prior to the news coming out and Carly had admitted she had known as well. They had both been desperate to keep the news from Sonny.

"I can't…Sonny. I can't risk my life and Alec's. He doesn't mean to hurt people. I know that. But Sonny…" Brenda's voice cracked.

"I know," Jason whispered. He wanted to tell her not to let Sonny interfere with her life, but they all were. Everyone was desperate to keep the innocent children from being caught in the crossfire.

"I need to talk to Jax."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," Jason returned the farewell. Hanging up the phone, he let his head drop back onto his chair and closed his eyes.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"I asked Brenda to run away with me," Jax admitted to Jason out of nowhere as he sat in his office, they had been there to discuss business, but this put the merger completely out of Jason's mind.

Jason simply looked over.

"She said no, obviously."

"Um okay."

"Do you think she's in love with Jagger? I wasn't around the first time, but-"

Jason frowned, "I don't think so." There was still something going on between the pair, but it seemed to have tapered off significantly since Jagger's return to Port Charles as Brenda remained in Rome.

"Yea, I didn't think so either."

"When did you ask her to run away with you?" Jason said looked down at some random papers he was struggling to focus on.

"Before I came back obviously. Sonny wasn't looking for me, I figured we could just fade into the sunset."

"And leave Joss?" Jason was baffled by the thought.

"I'd gotten use to the thought of not having custody of my daughter in order to keep her safe."

"Is that why you flipped out over her calling AJ dad?"

"She is my daughter and I am here. Your brother is her stepfather."

"Just saying-" Jason lifted his shoulders, part of him wishing the other man had just stayed hidden, on his own of course.

"A fresh start, Brenda's always saying how she wants one. Wants Alec to grow up in a normal life and when I offered her that she said no."

Jason didn't mention he'd heard that exact same complaint from Jagger when he tried to get Brenda to return to Port Charles.

"God, I still love her. How do I still love her?" Jax looked across at Jason.

"We should get back to business."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"So you're not going to believe who Carly and I saw on a date last night?" AJ said pulling up a chair at the cafeteria table Jason had been sitting at waiting for him.

"If you're going to say Michelle," Jason began knowing his brother's goal since his marriage had been to marry off his younger brother. A penance for marrying the woman his brother had once loved.

"No, she's still single, so you can get back in there and apologize for dumping her," AJ nodded, still liking the orthopedic surgeon for his brother. "Jagger and Sam."

"Sam?"

"Yea, your Sam."

"She isn't my Sam anymore. She hasn't been my Sam in months."

"Well that's good considering the fact that she's sleeping with Jagger."

"You just said they were on a date."

"Yea this wasn't a first date kind of date. When the hell did he and Brenda break up?"

"According to Brenda they were never really together," Jason said taking a sip of water.

"Random sex, you should do that," AJ nodded and took a bite of his sandwich.

"How'd that work out for you?"

"A bit poorer, got the kids, Carly isn't too bad half the time," AJ smirked.

"You're still happy," Jason was still bemused by that turn of events. Carly had sworn to hate him forever.

"I could do without Jax and Sonny, but," AJ shrugged.

"What about Michael?"

"Keep Michael," AJ smiled and then nodded more somberly, "I can't just be like Sonny, I can't just steal him away, he's too big for that anyway. I just have to keep at it and hope for the best."

"How's Carly dealing with that?"

AJ laughed, "You haven't heard, Carly is Abby's new bff."

"BFF?"

"I live in a house with a lot of females now, please don't judge."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Shiny perfect happy life," Sam drawled looking at the Quartermaines gathered around several red checkered picnic blankets in dawning dusk of the Fourth of July.

Liz tensed next to her.

"I'm amazed you haven't made a move yet, Jason is perfect now. Haven't you heard?"

"Are you drunk?" Liz questioned.

"Hardly, I'm pregnant. Haven't you heard?"

"Congratulations," Liz forced out.

"A decade of waiting to have this with Jason. Putting everything in my life on hold."

"I can't do this with you Sam. I can't go down that road again. None of us ended up where we were supposed to be. We have to just deal," Liz turned and headed towards her brother.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"You are the crappiest gossip ever," Brenda scolded him across the computer.

"Good morning Brenda," Jason smiled at her as he pushed away from his desk and all the work he hadn't started.

"Don't be charming, I'm annoyed."

"Why are you annoyed?" Jason as always was five steps behind in their conversation.

"Because I just opened an email from Jax telling me Sam is pregnant with Jagger's baby."

"You and Jagger ended things months ago."

Brenda sighed, loudly, "Okay aside from the fact that she pretty much just tried to be me for like the first year she was in Port Charles. I mean you, Jax and Sonny."

"You and I-"

"Seriously married Jason. This is all some twisted little thing about you."

Jason frowned, "How so?"

"Because when she viewed Liz as the reason for your breakup she moved onto Lucky and gee what does she do after she blames me for your breakup? Jagger. Jagger's life might actually be ruined because he was my last relationship."

Jason hid his frown."Jagger is a grown man."

"No man is a grown man when it comes to sex. You are all teenage boys."

Jason's eyebrows lifted.

"The point is she is obsessed with you and you need to figure out how to fix this or at least stay the hell away from her."

Jason frowned, "So what do you want me to do?"

Brenda frowned realizing her contradictory requests. "Fine just stay away from her, but you are paying me back when I have to give Jagger money for the custody battle."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"I'm sorry," Jason spoke softly to Sam as they rode in the GH elevator up.

"I'm just not meant to be a mother," Sam's jaw was tight as she was heading up to her checkup to make sure she was healing after the miscarriage. As always news spread like wildfire around Port Charles.

"Of course you are."

"No you always knew that-"

"Sam don't-"

"Jason, just don't. Don't be nice to me. I spent a decade on you. I gave up any chance of having a normal life and a family for this," her hands went up in the air. "For an empty apartment."

"I never meant-"

"To hurt me," Sam nodded. "You never meant for me to get caught in the crossfire with Manny. You never meant for me to find out about Jake. You never meant to go through with marrying me. I was the dumb girl though. I just kept thinking things would change and we would have our time. Only you changed and suddenly I wasn't even good enough to be your girlfriend."

"Sam-"

"Don't be nice to me anymore Jason. Because obviously I'm too dumb to stay away. So go find that perfect mansion with your gorgeous debutante and stay the hell out of my life." The elevator dinged, "Thank god," Sam proclaimed walking off the elevator.

"Sweetheart," Leighton smiled at him as he stepped off. "You are just the person I needed to see."

Jason did his best not to look after Sam, but instead focus on the demure woman in front of him. In the pale yellow sundress and flowing red hair, over a decade younger than him, but untouched by who he was, what he had been. "How's your grandfather?"

"His doctors say we should be able to take him home in a few days. Obviously he's fighting them, Edward is in with him right now, so I'm sure they're planning a coup."

Jason smiled.

"How was work?" Leigh chirped up at him with that ever present smile.

"It was good," he smiled back down and wondered why this felt so much harder than it looked.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

It was in the early morning hours, in a June that felt more like April, that Sonny Corinthos fled the country. He had been tipped off about indictments that were about to be issues. He left, not before making a frantic grab for Morgan that resulted in AJ and Michael in the hospital. Sonny hadn't expected his son to turn on him; his son hadn't expected to turn on him to protect his biological father. A guard was dead, another wounded and in the hospital with Michael and AJ, but Sonny was gone. At least for the moment.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Carly said after a while, as they sat out in the waiting room, letting the rest of the family visit.

"How was it supposed to end?"

"Sonny getting help. Realizing his children were more important than this stupid business."

Jason didn't say anything.

"This isn't over though is it? Sonny is going to come back eventually and this is how it's going to go until one of us is dead."

"Don't say that." Jason couldn't stand the thought of it all ending in tragedy.

"Tell me Morgan knows better. Tell me when Sonny comes back, I won't almost lose another son following him."

"I don't think there's a chance of that after what happened today."

"Tell me Michael's going to get over this?" Carly's voice held a soft plea for some type of peace for her son.

"Michael's been through worse."

"He's been through enough for an entire life."

Jason suddenly frowned, "Where are the girls?"

"Jax took them."

"Both?"

"Yea." Carly smirked, "You know Jax is going to push for joint custody again."

"And you're smiling?"

"It's going to be funny when he realizes he gets them both."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Life continued.

Michael renounced his inheritance from Sonny and had taken up a job working construction. Remorseful of his actions and the inactions that had landed AJ in a hospital bed and another man dead.

Morgan was spinning about of control, lashing out at his formerly loved stepfathers the worst.

AJ and Carly were trying to help the boys pick up the pieces of their family. AJ hovered over her about not hovering.

Sam took everyone by surprise when she became the 2nd wife of a man several years older than Alexis who lived a few doors down from the Quartermaines and was quickly transforming herself into a socialite.

Keesha and Mari moved out of the guest house and rumor had it, she was more than just partners with Lucky.

Life simply continued. It didn't continue smoothly, it just continued.

Edward would bemoan the demon, which he had deemed Sonny Corinthos, as he wondered if it was too late to send Michael to military school and bombard Carly and AJ with brochures for boarding schools before Morgan followed in his brother's path. He would threaten Tracy's position within the company reminding her that Jason was there and ready to step in.

Monica threatened to kick Edward out on his butt.

Life continued.

No one aside from Edward was surprised when Jason said he needed to take time off, a leave of absence from ELQ and Port Charles.

-o-o-o-

"Does she know?" Tracy asked as she walked into Jason's office as he was packing up the last of his things.

"Hmm?"

"Don't play dumb," she smirked at him, "you're not anymore."

Jason gave her a look.

Tracy picked up a frame from his desk, the only frame. A group shot from the previous Christmas before Sam had arrived with her family. He knew what she saw, what he had seen in more than a few photos that he had subconsciously shifted towards Brenda and Alec.

He didn't say anything to Tracy, he was quite good at that after so many years.

"Please tell me you've at least given her a warning."

He still remained quiet.

Tracy smirked yet again, "She'd be a fool not to have you."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"What are you doing here?" Brenda smiled brightly as she stretched up to give Jason a hug. "You never have business in Rome."

"I still don't," he said hugging her back.

She pulled back and eyes him warily, "You would have called if anything was wrong right?"

He laughed, "Everything's fine. I just needed to get away."

Her face fell, "We're going to Elba in the morning. Alec is so excited, I wish-"

He smiled down at her, "I talk to you how often?"

"You're coming with us?" Brenda asked with a stunned smile.

"There isn't any place I'd rather be," he smiled down.

Brenda squealed and threw herself up onto him.

-o-

"And how exactly did you do that?" Brenda smiled up at Jason as they walked into the living room.

"Do what?"

"Knock my kid out before the first story was done. He outlasts me sometimes."

"You're probably better at the whole story time thing."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"How are we both bright red and I think Alec's paler than he was this morning?"

Jason laughed, then flinched as his bright red and dry skin cracked in pain. "The sunblock was in our hands so often," he was practically pouting.

"I hurt," Brenda whimpered.

"Are there any spas that let you bathe in aloe?"

"I'll do you, you do me?"

"Grab the aloe," he nodded.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"He asleep?" Brenda questioned walking into the suite after working out, the first time since the vicious sunburn days prior.

"He was asleep on the couch by 7:30."

"You are amazing for bedtime," Brenda smiled at him.

Jason laughed, "I don't think we stopped moving the entire day."

Brenda laughed recalling the two on the beach and all over the resort, "I know. I had a great nap under the umbrella."

"I hope you enjoyed it because we're doing the forts tomorrow."

"Good, do you know we don't have pictures of you behind bars?"

His eyebrows lifted, "Like you're one to talk."

She chuckled as he laughed, "I'm dirty I should go shower."

"I'm not going to say anything to that."

She laughed again, loudly.

"Oh," Jason said turning his head after he as she headed out of the room, "I talked to Pia and she said she'd watch Alec tomorrow night so we could go out to dinner."

"Dinner?"

"Yea, past 6pm, not in shorts, adults only."

Brenda smiled, "I have become a horrible Italian since having a child, haven't I?"

Jason laughed.

"Dinner sounds good, thank you," she moved to walk away again, she came back moments later. "That sounds like a date."

"I suppose it does," Jason looked up from picking up a matchbox car he had spotted under the couch.

"Should I consider it a date?"

"You should," Jason stood.

"Alright," Brenda turned away again.

She was back seconds later and this time Jason was expecting her, leaning on the couch with his arms crossed.

"Now what?"

"We're just going on a date. Just like that. No Brenda would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Brenda would you like to go on a date with me?" Jason repeated.

She frowned, "Okay." She walked away again.

He didn't move.

"Seriously, just like that, we're going on a date." Brenda started speaking before she even returned to the room.

"Just like that," he confirmed.

"Shouldn't we-"

"We're going on a date."

"You just decided-"

"You did agree."

"After you told me we were going on a date!"

"It's not like it's the first date we've been on, we've even been married."

She skeptically stared at him.

"Weren't you dirty, I thought you needed to shower."

Her head cocked and she smiled out of nowhere, "Join me?"

His eyebrows lifted.

"We have been married," it was her turn to repeat his words.

"So we have," he pushed off the couch, he had her in an embrace before she could react and he kissed her as he hadn't kissed her in decades.

"Did you fly four thousand miles to sleep with me?" Brenda grinned looking up.

"Amongst other things," Jason let a slow smile emerge.

"So shower?"

"I was going to buy you dinner first."

"You did," she pointed out. The only thing she had paid for was ice cream and large brimmed hats to hide under.

"So I did," he kissed her again, thoroughly.

"Should I be worried about these other things," Brenda questioned as he was backing her towards the shower.

"No more thinking or talking," Jason pushed the door shut.

-o-o-o-

"We need condoms," Brenda announced as she lay on Jason's chest later on in the night.

"Sorry, you were supposed to be a little harder to get."

She slapped his chest.

He laughed.

"Seriously, remember that tomorrow. Because I'm old, but not that old."

"I don't feel old."

"We are," she informed him and began to close her eyes.

"Would that be the worst thing?"

"Hmm?"

"A baby."

"Four thousand miles," she didn't even bother to open her eyes.

"I left ELQ."

She pushed up on his chest, "You what?"

"I took an indefinite leave of absence."

"To sleep with me?"

"I was expecting several dates first," he smirked.

"What were amongst those other things Jase?"

"Convince you that you love me and talk you into marrying me, again."

"Repeat that."

"You love me," Jason sat up and pulled her atop him.

"Of course I love you; we're friends, probably even best friends."

"No," Jason informed her, "you love me."

"Your life is in Port Charles, your family."

"My life is with you."

"You want marriage and kids, you should be with someone younger. What happened to that Leighton girl?"

"I want you; I have wanted you since that very first day. She was very nice, everyone I dated was very nice, but they aren't you."

"You can't just fly to Italy and tell someone you're planning on marrying them."

"You asked," he smirked again.

"Stop being so calm about this, why are you so calm about this?"

"Because it might have taken awhile, but one day I realized I was in love with my best friend and I was pretty sure it was mutual."

"Will you stop saying that!"

"I love you," Jason smiled and cupped her face.

"J-"

He silenced her with a kiss. "This isn't a bad thing."

"J-"

"How about we just try. We don't fight. We don't discuss. We just are for the next few weeks."

"It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"It just isn't."

"It is. I love you and I'm not going anywhere without you."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

She watched him. She had been watching him for days. 6 days to be exact. Watching him in a way she hadn't often let herself before. To see him as a man, a man that she could have a future with if she dared to risk it. To see a man that could love her, did love her. Everything he did proved it, but a lot of others had done that before. To see a man who could be a husband and father, to her and her son. To see that he was already everything she had ever wanted and long since given up dreaming for.

There was nothing amazing about what he was doing as she asked, only that it was him and that itself was amazing.

"Marry me?"

A smile broke out across his face as the toothbrush froze in his mouth. He leaned forward and spit and was already smirking as he turned to look at her sitting on the closed toilet with her own toothbrush forgotten in hand. "Knew you'd figure it out eventually."

"It's been 6 days."

"Been a few decades longer than that."

"You are not one to talk-"

"Minor hiccup," Jason smiled and tapped his head. "So tomorrow?"

"Two weeks, I'm a resident."

"And I'm a Quartermaine, five days, tops."

"Tell me I'm not crazy."

"That I can't do," Jason smiled and pulled her up to him. "Do you remember the airport after your wedding to Jax?"

"Non-wedding," Brenda nodded.

"When you have love, all the other stuff-"

"Like dating?" Brenda smiled.

He smiled back, "Like dating, it's not necessary."

"So romantic," she rolled her eyes, despite the fact that the grin hadn't left her face.

"I have loved you from the start, I might not have known, but I have. Despite the fact that you rejected me as teenagers and used to have loud sex with Jax when we were married."

She loudly laughed in his face.

"And one day you will do that and I will cut off a finger. And you are going to drive me completely insane at least three times a week. And it sounds amazing."

She managed to smile even brighter.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"I'm going to take Alec and make sure everything's set up," Jason called out.

"Uh huh," Brenda said frowning at the mirror as she adjusted the mirror in her hand behind her checking out the twist in the back of her hair, that matched the twist on the side. "It's good, it's fine," Brenda muttered to herself as she looked at her hair, long and curled on the side, coming to rest atop the long white sundress. "JA-" She was yelling as she nearly flipped off the chair.

"No Jason," Monica said walking into the bedroom, "he thought you could use a mother."

Brenda's gentle smile mirrored Monica's.

"He probably thought I could use this as well," Monica touched a hand to Brenda's cheek. "You look beautiful. I can't believe this day is finally here, for real," Monica chuckled.

"I can. I've been waiting," Edward pushed into the room.

Brenda squealed as she stood and embraced him in a hug.

"You didn't think you were getting married without me giving you away."

"You did have some objections the last time."

"For good reason, but you my dear will finally be a Quartermaine completely as it was always meant to be. You and Jason, my grandson is a lucky man and we are a blessed family that he brought you into our lives."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

As the rest of the world found out about their wedding, they were hidden away in a villa. Edward's wedding gift to them. They had shared the news with a few select few, but the rest were left to find out as it was splashed in the headlines along with photos a passing tourist had taken of the beach wedding.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"This is not possible."

Jason frowned waking to hear Brenda speaking next to him.

"Not possible."

"What isn't?" he rubbed a hand over his face, then sat up and leaned to her side, where she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She had her cellphone as a flashlight and it was shining on a… "Is that? Are you?"

"Not possible."

Jason flipped on the lights. Sure enough the little stick held a plus sign.

"18 days, 18 days isn't even a month of trying. I mean if I was 18 this would make sense, but 18 days?"

"You're pregnant."

"That's what it says."

"This is good."

"If I was 18. Advanced maternal age, I thought I lost Alec. I mean things were obviously going too well. So now we know how this is going to end-"

"Stop it," Jason ordered and turned her to him. "Don't think about any of that stuff, just this moment." His hand covered her stomach, "A baby."

Her hand covered his and she tried to breathe.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-o-End of 2012-o-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Time to wrap it up," Brenda said walking down their basement stairs. They had moved home shortly after their honeymoon, in time for Alec to start school in Port Charles, she had made the decision not Jason. After all they were Quartermaines and Quartermaines belonged in Port Charles.

"We just need a few more minutes," Alec's hair was long and shaggy and he didn't regard his mother with a single look from the doe eyes that made all the girls in his class fawn over him. He of course didn't notice because he was his father's son.

"Yea we're just-" that said father was eye level with the project.

"Going upstairs right now because someone still has reading to do for tomorrow and the world hasn't stopped for this project?"

Jason tensed, "Going upstairs right now."

"You always cave," Alec sighed.

"Only when she's right."

"Which is always," Brenda yelled as their son stormed up the stairs. "Get a move on Farm Boy," Brenda ordered her husband upstairs, after all she needed him as a buffer against the sad medical drama that was about to start.

"Prince Charming," he informed her as he headed up the stairs.

"Nah, still Farm Boy."

"As you wish," Jason chuckled and shut the basement door behind them as they stepped out.

"Think she'll ever let us tell her a fairy tale again?"

"She's living in a fairy tale, I don't think she needs to hear them," Jason turned and wrapped a hand around his wife's waist.

Alec interrupted his parents moments later, "Did you seriously stop our project so you could make out with Dad?"

"Yes," Brenda glared at her son, "yes I did. Now go to your room and start reading before you're grounded."

Jason sniggered as Alec walked away with a loud huff, "Did you just threaten to ground our son so you could make out with me?"

"Yea I did, got a problem with that?"

"Not at all," he smiled and captured her lips once again.

_His life was a fairy tale, so perfect in its imperfections that no man could have ever dreamed it. _

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	44. Family Man Part 3

**Part Three**

Jason pulled up to the Quartermaines with trepidation. He didn't know what he wished for, what he hoped for, he had Emily, _what more did he need than her?_

"Alice, you don't-" he tried to stop her from helping as he opened the back of the SUV. Ellie had already dashed inside the house and Brenda was strolling in with nothing more than Nate, his bag and her purse.

"I could use some time out of that house," Alice nodded away his concern.

"Thanks," he said loading up with packages.

-o-o-o-

He smiled nearly as soon as he walked into the house hearing Michael's voice coming from the living room. "Come on!" Michael nearly shouted in exasperation.

"I **don't** want to hear it Michael."

Jason almost dropped his bags as he entered the room. _AJ._

"Thank god, drop that and let's get this damn train set up already."

"Jason-" Michael turned to his uncle.

"Don't you dare, your mother and I have already told you no."

"I'm legally an adult in 2 more days-"

"You are **my** son, living under **my **roof. I saidno."

"Legally, I'm not your son and in 2 days I can go live with **my** dad."

Jason's eyes remained wide.

"You're threatening to move out so you can hang out with your girlfriend?"

"My dad wouldn't force me to set up some stupid train."

"I am your father; it is my **job** to make sure you suffer through setting up a god damn train. You will thank me when you're older!"

"Do you hear yourself?" Michael scoffed and shook his head, "Jason, aren't you going to say anything?"

Jason noticed AJ's furious eyes; Jason hadn't even begun to figure out how _that _happened. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on."

"He wants to skip Christmas with his own family to hang out with Patty and her family."

"I wouldn't be gone the whole night."

"They're Italian, yes you would."

"Uh-" Jason decided some noise would be better than no noise, it would buy him time to hopefully get out of this conversation.

"We already agreed that he can see her tomorrow after Sonny's."

"Christmas will pretty much be over by then," Michael turned quickly to face his father.

"This isn't up for debate Michael," AJ said firmly.

"You know if you and Mom won't treat me like an adult, I am going to go live with my dad."

"We are treating you like our child that isn't going to change no matter what age you are."

"Jason, tell him I'm not a child," Michael threw his hands up in the air.

_He wasn't exactly making his point. _

"Then stop behaving like a child," AJ pointed out what Jason was thinking.

"She can't come over here?" Jason suggested.

"No because she has to spend Christmas Eve with her parents," AJ looked a little self-righteous as he shared that information.

"I'm moving out," Michael announced.

"You wouldn't dare," AJ countered.

"Dad-"

"Your mother has full custody, any visitation-"

"For 2 more days-"

"Of you and Morgan."

"You wouldn't."

"I might not, but your mother might, she's vengeful."

"You're an ass."

"Yea well I'm your dad it's part of the requirement."

"You're-"

"Go get everyone Michael before you lose your car," AJ threatened.

"I can't believe you," Michael scoffed as he turned.

"Don't judge," AJ pointed at Jason once Michael was out of the room.

"I-"

"Your kids are small and they like you," AJ's head nodded once and he focused his attention on the train set that was in shambles.

"I didn't say anything."

AJ sighed loudly, "Blackmailing your kids, proud moments in parenting." His eyes closed briefly.

Jason studied him just as he realized to in the middle of the fight with Michael. He didn't look much different from the AJ he remembered, the only change a small mustache. He _was_ at odds though with the AJ lying broken in that hospital bed. Everyone had always tried to explain to him how weak AJ was, Jason had seen him as pitiful, but never weak until that bed. AJ's body, strong and alive, hair that hadn't been touched by gray, skin that had barely had time to wrinkle, tired eyes that remained heavy from the fight. Jason knew that feeling, knew fighting with Michael over things he would never do, but knew the young man should. "He'll get over it," Jason offered as solace. _How often had he wished for this?_ Wished that AJ had been allowed to be Michael's father, wished that the boy he loved so dearly had been placed upon any path that wasn't Jason's own.

AJ simply shrugged and smirked, "Carly's kid, really?" He shook it off, "How was Robin's?"

"Good."

"I can't believe Carly bought tickets to The Nutcracker so we couldn't go," another shake of his head.

"Really?"

"No, I'm lying. I just really wish I could erase sitting through The Nutcracker. That thing is horrible." AJ shot him a look, "That whole watch your kids, see it through their eyes? A lie. Lasted about five minutes. Don't let Brenda ever drag you. Give the ticket to Grandfather," AJ smirked.

Jason smirked back.

"Okay that's creepy, what are you guys up to? I said I wouldn't go," Michael announced walking back into the room.

"Yea," Morgan nodded from next to him, "Patty keeps sending him sad faces."

"Shut it twerp," Michael nudged his little brother.

"Watch it," AJ ordered. "Where are the females?" AJ skipped his son and asked his stepson.

"Playing with their dolls."

"Didn't I ask you to get everyone?"

"They said they're girls and they don't have to," Michael shrugged.

Jason watched AJ's nostrils flare, watched him take a deep breath and raise a finger as he pulled out his phone.

"Are you near the girls?" AJ curtly spoke into the phone. "We're setting up the train, send them downstairs." The nostrils flared again, "Being a female does not make you exempt from having to put up the train. Send. Them. Down. Now. Or you're putting together this damn train." AJ smiled as he hung up the phone. "Let's go see if Cook has finished that apple cider," AJ nodded at Morgan. "You," he nodded at Michael, "don't leave the room. Restrain him if you need to," AJ nodded at Jason.

"He's snapped," Michael informed him.

"I noticed."

"How was Robin's?"

"Good. How was the Nutcracker?"

Michael groaned, "AJ needs to learn how to say no to Mom. I cannot understand how they fight so much and it's never over anything that benefits me or Morgan."

Jason laughed.

-o-o-o-

"Your brother is insane," Carly announced walking into the room holding Nate.

"I noticed," Jason stood to go retrieve his son. Trying not to stare in awe at the cluster of girls. The sandy blonde he had seen in the Christmas photo was practically the same height as her cousin. Her straight hair skimmed the top of the green velvet dress she wore, identical to her sister's. A toddler, she couldn't be much older than two, strawberry blonde hair held back by a green and red Christmas ribbon.

"You married him," Michael pointed out.

"And you're both genetically related to him," she quickly countered as she turned to keep Jason away from taking Nate, refusing to let the baby go.

The eldest girl looked up at her mother, "We don't really have to build the train do we?"

"Take that up with your father."

"Take what up with your father," AJ asked already annoyed as he walked in holding a tray of warm apple cider.

"I want Aunt Brenda to do my hair," her blue eyes went wide as she looked up at her father.

"Do what with it?" He frowned as only a father could.

"French Braid with ribbons."

"Can Brenda do that?" He continued to frown as he put the tray down.

"She claims she can," Carly rolled her eyes.

"Kay so do that down here."

-o-o-o-

"You didn't wait for me?" Alan announced as he walked into the room.

"You're an hour late Dad," AJ didn't bother looking up.

Jason did though. He saw his father, his face aged, a weight loss evident. At least 30 pounds. Frailer than that man he remembered. The man he tried not to remember lying before him, gone forever. _Alan was gone. _Alan was gone forever. Just as AJ.

They had wanted him back. All those years. All they had wanted was him, back.

He hadn't realized it until it was too late.

If he had just…

Emily, AJ, Alan…

"There was an emergency," Alan offered.

"You're not supposed to be dealing with emergencies anymore," AJ pointed out, "remember, delegate or Mom's going to-"

"Oh what your mother doesn't know won't hurt her," he dismissed his eldest son's concerns.

"Where is Monica?" Brenda asked as Alan moved to settle himself on the floor, she had finished Mallory's hair several minutes ago and had sprawled on the floor next to him, occasionally pinging Ellie's curls to watch her frown and bat away her mother's hand. Brenda smiled every time.

"Surgery," Alan offered not going into specifics. "That's boring though, I want you to tell me all about where this train is going," Alan smiled at his grandchildren. Alan briefly looked up with a smile in the midst of their animated chatter and smiled at Jason.

_Why hadn't he gone back?_

-o-o-o-

"Merry Christmas," Brook called out as she walked into the room.

As Jason turned to see his cousin's daughter, his hand instinctively sought out his missing gun as he saw who was next to her.

"Yea, Merry Christmas guys," Diego nodded.

"Nice of you to eventually return my great granddaughter," Edward viewed the young man with loathing.

"Sorry Mr. Quartermaine, Brook was helping me finish up my shopping," Diego smiled.

"Who'd you forget?" AJ questioned.

"I wanted to get Courtney a pair of nice earrings and I was completely clueless."

"Are you spending Christmas with Courtney and Brian?" Alan asked quickly, since both of his sons had been married to her.

"Yea, I was thinking of going to Mexico, but Maria's busy anyway."

"Better to avoid the airports this time of year anyway," Alan nodded.

"Yea, so I should get going," Diego nodded, "I will see you guys at Sonny's tomorrow," Diego nodded at Michael and Morgan.

"Me too," Brook smiled.

"I'll pick you up," Diego smiled back.

"Good I have gifts that weigh a ton," she beamed, "I'll walk you out."

"K have a good Christmas everyone."

As soon as they heard the front door close Edward was quick to offer, "I don't trust that boy."

"I think he's cute," Brenda shrugged.

-o-o-o-

Jason was pacing outside trying to catch him breath and his thoughts. Trying to understand how marrying Brenda could have changed everything so drastically.

"Don't think so hard, you might hurt yourself," Mary Mae chimed from next to him, appearing out of nowhere.

"I don't understand this. Is this what would have actually happened?"

"One version. The version you dreamed of. You are more like him than you realize. Everything is about your family," Mary Mae looked through the French doors to the man that had once been her love.

"The family I'll never have," Jason responded. The children he would never have, wife he would never have, the brother and sister he would never have, the father he would never have, the life he would never have.

"Maybe you needed to remember how loved you have always been, you are not alone in this world."

"It feels like it."

"We all feel that way sometimes, but your family as small as it may be right now, they are still your family."

"My actions cost me…Them," he nodded. For once seeing all he was missing because of the path he chose.

"You got them for today though," she smiled at him. "Be with them. Be the father you would have been. Be the husband and the brother, the son, the grandson. Enjoy today."

"Just today?"

She nodded at him.

"Will I remember tomorrow?"

"Maybe bits and pieces."

"Diego, Courtney, Brian?"

Mary Mae nodded, "Shame how that worked out. Shame how a lot of it worked out, but that's life."

"That's-"

"Go into your family Jason.

-o-o-o-

"That poor boy needs an ally," Edward announced as Michael and Morgan took Nate away with the girls giggling after them. The girls had all been very proud of their accomplishment as they managed to cover Nate in a full face of makeup from the kit Carly had bought Ellie.

"Don't look at me," Brenda gave an off putting look as more than just one gaze fell upon her. "Anymore and they'd outnumber us and we're already losing. Talk to Carly, she loves popping them out."

"I'm still trying to figure out how they're still married," Monica gave a baffled look as she recalled her son and his wife storming out as a fight was brewing more their voices scared their children.

"There's no statute of limitation on murder," Alan nodded.

"Alan!" His father loudly scolded and looked around the room suspiciously.

"No one is listening Father and I'm just saying what I think we all know."

"One less Alcazar is hardly a reason to even entertain any thought," Edward brushed it off; although they could all see how nervous the topic made him.

"Or their hasty marriage so soon after…" Monica smirked.

"Well they haven't killed each other yet," Alan raised his coffee cup up in a toast.

"Yet being the operative word," Monica gave her husband a look.

"What are you talking about?" Carly asked walking into the room.

"When you're going to give me another great grandson," Edward smoothly lied.

"Really four kids aren't enough?"

"The three girls and Nate puts him at a supreme disadvantage."

"And he has a seriously overpriced wardrobe that needs to be handed down," Brenda nodded.

"So you have another baby," Carly rejected that idea.

"I'm not that dumb."

"Oh but-"

"Where's AJ?" Monica stopped Carly with concern in her eyes.

-o-o-o-

"You love him," Jason stopped Carly in the middle of her tirade. He had nearly dragged her out of the room when AJ had returned and gotten in on the discussion of another baby. The kids had all been recruited into the kitchen to help cook decorate gingerbread men, leaving the adults alone. So they missed the battle unfold when AJ was informed that they were done having children, which ultimately led to AJ missing half of Michael's life because of Carly.

"He drives me insane," Carly shook her head.

"But you love him." He needed to understand this. If she really did love AJ and he had been the barrier somehow…

"He's my husband."

"And you love him."

"Fine," Carly gritted her teeth, "I love him. I guess I've gotten used to him after all this time."

"Three kids?"

"We make amazing children together," Carly shrugged it off.

"You aren't with him because of Lorenzo."

Carly tensed.

"Carly?"

"I would have been happy hating him forever. How twisted am I? Then he had to go and protect me when I would have crushed him." Carly shook her head, "So he knows he's the better person."

"C-"

"It's obnoxious, just like that mustache. Like really, how petty is he, a mustache to piss me off? And what, now I have to have another baby because I kept Michael from him? Because he of course had to go and prove he's a good father when Michael couldn't stand him as a baby."

"Because he wasn't me," Jason quietly added.

Carly shook her head, "We had to make our marriage work this time and I hate him sometimes for proving that it was me. That I was all those things he's called me."

Jason simply looked at her, knowing that just like she, he was responsible for not having the life he wanted. The horrible thing was he still didn't know where he went wrong, even if he did, he couldn't change it.

"I hate him," Carly's voice unexpectedly cracked, "I hate him so much." Her head violently shook. "Because this is the life I wanted, the kids I wanted, the father I wanted for them and I swear half the things he does, he does just to piss me off…" Her head once more shook, "But I can do anything," Carly shrugged "and he's still there. He still loves me after I'm a raging bitch and he wasn't ever supposed to love me like that."

Jason smiled slightly; maybe he was glad she finally found that happiness, if only for a day. Maybe he once thought she found it before as he spied on them through a window and saw what they could be, even though they weren't. Maybe he wished he wouldn't recall any of this tomorrow, to see the lives, they happiness they would be without. "So another baby?"

"I'm already pregnant. How screwed up is that? I swear he's got like super sperm or something," Carly shook her head.

"So in the living room-"

"No I had a plan, I have a god damn stocking waiting back at my house. Of course now I might not tell him until I'm about to pop this kid out."

"You're insane," AJ said swooping in and lifting Carly up before she could yell or hit him, "at least for the next few months we can blame it on the hormones."

"No put me down, I'm angry," Carly swatted at him.

"Too bad, I'm happy."

"Of course, you have another chance to get another son."

"Have you met our son? I love him, but really girls are the way to go."

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys! And all the awesome reviews (really I need to figure out how to type and walk at the same time so I'll respond), plus side when I do try to respond from my computer, I end up writing fic instead. **

AN (aka ramble): Kinda loving AJ scenes, haven't watched them all (hence the push down part of Carly's tirade), haven't been brave enough to actually watch watch GH (really how many times can this show break my heart). SK is still hot, lol, although his lips have shrunk and I totally get to say that because I have looked at pictures of myself and wonder where my lips have been run off to (I find it way more appropriate at his age than mine :-P). I find it funny though that nearly all the scenes I've been posting were written before he came back on screen. I will probably dabble in an AJ one shot soon though as soon as I have any idea what is going on with GH. Um and SK totally fits with LW like I knew he would. Vulnerable and damaged with this strength and passion, totally hot. Carly is a character I loved then disliked, then loved again. Wonder if that can happen with Sam, Sam used to have good moments…


	45. Family Man Part 4

Final part is now up. How many years later? Lol. Thanks for keeping with it folks. Oh and Oswald is the elf in case you forget.

* * *

**Part Four**

Dinner was chaotic that had been the only way to describe that many Quartermaines in one room. They had opened gifts as a family, but Tracy, Luke, Brook, Dillon and Georgie had all been quick to retreat to different sections of the house during the lull between gifting and dinner.

Georgie had the unpleasant surprise of finding out her parents had run into Monica at Kelly's and had been invited over as Bobbie tried to play the mediator.

Carly flipped out when the baby topic came up again, announced she was pregnant and they might as well rename her, 'The Quartermaine Broad Mare.' Followed by Lorena Bobbitt remarks unless AJ got a vasectomy. The table unanimously agreed with Carly as AJ fought against it.

Brenda was frequently texting Emily, who was Skyped in on a laptop placed at the end of the table, with what she was missing or remarks Brenda couldn't say aloud.

Michael and Morgan repeatedly looked over longingly at the kid's table.

There was a tag team of humor between AJ, Alan, Luke and Frisco that resulted in Brenda cackling so loudly that Dillon snorted water out his nose and Dillon setting up a video camera to record the hilarity.

Jason took in the comradery that he had rarely witnessed in his family as everyone seemed to play off each other, there was more laughing than there were angry words. There was shouting and it was passionate, but it wasn't in anger. He realized he had never been a part of this, never been a part of his family. They all seemed to annoy each other, there were very few lovely dovey, sweet moments, but they all took it in stride and appeared to be enjoying themselves. When they annoyed him in the past, he blew up, he stormed out. He had cost himself this.

-o-o-o-

Ellie had explained a lot of things to him; her daddy didn't call his mommy and daddy, Mom and Dad, like most did, but their real names. She said she tried it once and lasted the entire afternoon, but she liked her mommy and daddy being Mommy and Daddy.

There was something Jason needed to say though, something he had never realized how desperately he needed to say. His parents had catered to him, they desperately tried to treat him in a way that wouldn't offend him, even though it often did because as he realized too late, they had just wanted him back, they had wanted any part of him they could have.

"Dad," Jason followed his father into his office at GH where he had gone to change.

Alan's eyes flooded with tears and Jason could see him struggle not to react.

Alan loved him. That was love. A parent's love, desperately trying to be what their child needed, putting their child above their own needs.

"Yes, son?"

"I," Jason knew he needed to say the words, but they still caught in his throat. "Thank you for today."

"My pleasure," he nodded. "You kids and your kids," he nodded again, "you're what matters in this world."

Jason nodded.

"Seeing you with them Jason, seeing how they love you and you them. I can't tell you how much that means to me."

Jason heard Alan's words, heard the bravery behind them. _How often had caring words been rejected that his father was afraid of saying them? _

"I am so proud of the man you've become."

_The man he wasn't and would never be. _

"This is all I ever wanted for you, since you were a baby, I hoped you would be able to find the love and peace your mother and I struggled to find."

"I do love you, I know I-" Jason nodded.

"I know," Alan smiled kindly, "and it's okay Jason. We love and accept you for who you are, not who you were or who you are going to be. I hope you know that."

Jason nodded, "I should get back to Brenda and the kids."

Alan nodded.

Jason turned.

"Jason?"

He turned back.

"Thank you."

Jason nodded.

-o-o-o-

"You are such a brat."

Jason turned in time to see Kristina in an elf costume push the girl in front of her. There was something familiar about her, he wondered if he had seen her around Kristina before and hadn't remembered her.

"Girls, don't fight," Sam's voice made Jason turn to see Sam standing near Ric, who was on his smart phone.

"She pushed me," the familiar girl's eyes were wide.

"You were being a brat," Kristina retorted.

"It's Christmas, good cheer and all that crap. Ric."

"Listen to Sam," he barely looked up from his phone.

"Ric!"

He looked up, "Fake it for today or only Molly's getting gifts tomorrow."

"Mom!" the familiar girl was suddenly known, the baby girl that they hadn't had the heart to name.

"Sam!"

"How do you yell at me for what he just said?"

"Mom," Molly said coming up to them, "you're making a scene."

Sam groaned, "Go bother your father until it's time to start," as Sam wrapped an arm around Molly.

He watched the two girls head to Sonny, who he heard previously agreeing with Carly and AJ regarding the Patty situation, much to Michael's dismay.

Jason knew Alexis was dead, he wasn't sure how though. The baby…she lived. She would have lived if only they had acted faster in delivering her to save Kristina. Their love for her had cost her, her life.

"Still creepy," Brenda said leaning in to him, following his line of sight to Sam and Ric.

He turned.

"Half-sister and niece/aunt, mom and sister, creepy," Brenda nodded. "Okay I think Georgie is going to start bawling, have you seen Dillon or Robin?"

"Not recently."

"Watch the kids," Brenda said quickly moving away.

Jason did that, but he also kept his eye on who else was arriving for the reading.

Courtney came with Diego and the baby.

Liz arrived with Jax, Cameron and a little girl and quickly diverted her eyes from Lucky, who did the same.

It shocked him to see how many previously gone faces were mysteriously here. He wondered if he had been inadvertently responsible for that many deaths, it didn't quite seem possible. The thought stayed with him as he listened to his father's voice for what he knew would be the last time.

As they parted for the night he hugged him a little tighter.

He found himself hugging AJ as well, much to everyone's surprise.

"I'm sorry," Jason spoke in a low voice.

"For what?" AJ questioned.

"For not believing you were capable of this. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," AJ replied still stunned.

-o-o-o-

"Who are you and what did you do with my husband?"

Ellie looked up panicked as they walked to the car.

"What's wrong?"

"You willingly hugged AJ and no one's dead."

"He is my brother."

"I think that may be the first time I've heard you claim AJ as your flesh and blood the entire time we've been married and we have dinner with them once a week."

-o-o-o-

Both kids were sound asleep by the time they reached the garage of their building. Jason relished the weight of his daughter, his arms already starting to ache with the thought of her being gone.

"I love you," he whispered as he finished dressing her for bed, just barely awake for the process.

"Daddy," she smiled looking up at him as her lids once more closed.

"I will always love you," he placed a kiss on her forehead as he tucked her in.

Brenda was walking back up the stairs with a semi alert Nate sucking on a bottle, "So close," she smiled at him.

"I'll take him," Jason nodded.

"Good man," Brenda smiled and passed off the boy.

-o-o-o-

He settled into the glider in the nursery as Nathan slurped his way through his bottle.

"I never would have dreamed you were possible," he pushed the hair off his forehead. "You would have grown to be a great man; you'd have no choice with a sister like Ellie."

He paused and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry I cost you…everything. That I won't get to see you grow up, that I won't ever hear you call me Dad. Today though, today being your dad. To be the kind of man, who could have a son like you." Jason spoke more than most would believe. The regrets and gratitude were overwhelming. In the end he just sat with Nathan until he fell asleep and the nipple fell out of his mouth.

-o-o-o-

Jason paused as he entered the room, his hand move to turn the lights up from the dim they were on.

"Mood lighting," Brenda's voice snapped.

His hand froze and his head turned on instinct towards her voice. He should look away, he thought as he took it in, the see through, red, lace nightie, but he couldn't. He definitely wasn't looking down at the red heels she had on as well. She smirked and turned to give him a shot of the back, it was bustled, he really shouldn't watch as she shook her ass.

"How cute is that?" Brenda was grinning.

He forced himself to speak, "Very."

"Today was amazing," Brenda smiled as she walked over, sliding her arms up and around his neck.

"It was."

"Thank you," Brenda smiled.

His eyebrows lifted.

"For being who you are, the best husband and father-"

"I-"

"You are," she told him, "you make me glad every day that I called."

His eyebrows lifted.

"Actually I should be glad you picked up because I am a way better friend that you are."

He gave her a look.

"It amazes me to think how easily we could have missed this, when this is everything."

"I know what you mean."

"I would have never picked that phone up again and then I hit redial by accident, then let it ring and next thing you know I'm on a plane coming home to fix your broken heart and then we have this life…How does that happen? How did we get so lucky?"

She had called after Courtney before he had gotten involved in the Sam and Sonny situation. He remembered the message; he even contemplated calling her back. He remembered when the phone rang again it had been a particularly low day; he remembered staring at it, debating whether or not to pick it up. He hit accept just as the phone stopped ringing. _That delay had cost him this? _

He kissed her; he didn't know what else to do.

As they tumbled their way towards the bed it occurred to him, he was home because as twisted as it all was, nothing had ever felt more right.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Are you going to Sonny's today?"

Brenda squinted at him as her hair was up in a tangled mess from sleep, as she groggily made her way to the bathroom. "No," she frowned at him.

"Want to go sledding?"

She viewed him skeptically.

"Do you have anything better to do?"

"Very few things are better than sledding."

"Is that a yes?"

"Why are you being nice?"

"It's Christmas?"

She grunted at him.

He chuckled as he turned as she headed into the bathroom.

-o-o-o-

"Should I leave a plate out for Jason and Brenda?" Alice asked as Monica asked her to clean up after breakfast as Edward and Tracy had already left the room.

"I sincerely doubt my son and Brenda will be showing up for Christmas," Monica pushed away the pain.

"They brought a bag though to change, so they have to come back inside."

"They were here?"

"They grabbed the sleds from the basement."

"They're sledding?"

"They were here before everyone came down."

"Then save them a plate." Monica paused. "Does cook-"

"Has enough for lunch if half of Port Charles decides to show up."

-o-o-o-

Monica practically bolted out of the living room as she heard the front door open.

"Come on let's go tomorrow," Brenda was saying as she was already stripping out of layers at the front door.

"Maybe."

"Have you been skiing since we were married?" Jason had miraculously pulled their old gear out of the top of a closet.

"I only went skiing with you then to shut you up."

"So do it again."

"Maybe."

"You should go up to the house, it doesn't get enough use anymore," Monica smiled as she stepped out.

"It's right off the slopes," Brenda's eyes widened recalling the information, "you wouldn't have to talk to anyone the entire day."

"Are you going to be quiet for the entire day?"

She glared at him.

"Merry Christmas," Jason smiled at his mom.

"It is now that you're here."

-o-o-o-

It took all of Jason's willpower to not flip a table or couch when trying to cope with Edward and Tracy. Edward was at least easily distracted by Brenda, who was on model behavior, probably in an attempt at keeping Jason behaved.

Carly showed up with Michael and even she was making an attempt at faking a merry Christmas with Brenda in the room.

-o-o-o-

"What is going on today?" Carly cornered him in the hallway as he was returning from the bathroom.

"What?"

"This," Carly's palms lifted towards the ceiling.

"Christmas with my family, that's what people do."

"That's what other people do."

"I need to learn how to deal with them."

"Why?"

"Because they're the only family I'm ever going to have."

-o-o-o-

"Merry Christmas Mom," Jason said leaning in to kiss his mother goodbye as Brenda had followed Edward to his study to get the key to the cabin.

"I think that was just the best gift I've ever received," her hands cupped his face.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"It's almost here!" The massive weight hit Jason directly in his stomach and he groaned in pain as the woman next to him groaned in exhaustion.

The interplay went on between them and soon Jason was agreeing to waffles if she agreed to a bath and he hoisted her over his shoulder as he told his wife to shower. Dropping his daughter in her brother's crib before picking up his son as she laughed, quickly changing his diaper before scooping up his daughter again, who giggled all the way into the kitchen. He had the waffles in the maker in under five minutes with Nathan on his side the entire time, hooking his son into the chair only when it was time to grab them.

Plain cut up waffles before the toddler, but for the little girl the waffle was loaded up with butter, syrup, whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top.

She looked up with a whipped cream mustache, "Best Christmas Ever."

"I think you're right Ellie," Jason smiled down at the little girl with a mess of blonde hair, chubby syrup stained cheeks, bright blue eyes, and with whipped cream hiding the cherubic pink lips.

"Doing the train right?"

"Just like last year," Jason smiled once more.

"I love the train."

"Your uncle does as well." It had taken two months for his mother to admit the truth to him. Two months after five years. Confessing his regrets about keeping Michael from AJ had been all it had taken; showing his mother not only would his brother would be safe from him, but even supported. Michael and AJ thrived with each other, and within six months Edward led the charge to have them in power at ELQ much to Tracy's dismay.

It had taken two years for Carly and AJ to marry, two years of seeing the father he was to Michael. Two years of him surviving her, supporting her, even as they fought. Their daughter was a month old as Carly caved to everyone's demands that they marry. At least that was what she had claimed.

"Smells amazing," Brenda said walking into the kitchen in a short black robe, her hair up in a towel.

"In the oven."

"Strawberries?" Brenda shot a look back at him as she spied them on the stove in a pot.

"They were in the fridge."

"Best Christmas Ever," Brenda lustily eyed the food.

Jason chuckled to himself.

The doorbell rang just as Brenda sat down.

"THEY'RE HERE!" Ellie screamed and nearly fell out of the chair in her attempt to scramble off it.

Jason had to run to keep up with her, reaching the door a second after her. "You don't open the door without me or your mother."

"I know," she innocently looked up at him.

Jason rolled his eyes as he opened the door.

Liz was trying to stifle a chuckle as she said, "Merry Christmas."

"Daddy made waffles with everything," Ellie told her brothers with wide eyes.

Jake barely threw a goodbye to his mother and Alec managed to get out a thank you as they and their sister took off towards the kitchen, backpacks hitting the floor on the way.

Liz laughed, "Top secret project," she said extending the large box in her hands.

"Any idea what it is?" Jason asked taking it, the reason Alec had stayed over Liz's last night.

"They swear it isn't a bomb and it isn't moving so at least it isn't another mouth to feed," Liz automatically looked around the room for the cat. A kitten of the cat Jake and Alec had found 3 months earlier. The kitten that was born in Jake's room as they had hidden the cat away so they could keep her, only her soon became her and three kittens that Liz found while cleaning.

Jason laughed, the boys managed to get into everything their parents never thought possible, but they had been best friends since the first day, brothers in a way he envied.

"So waffles, did any of it end up in her mouth or is it all in her hair?"

"I think a little," he smiled.

"She is too much," Liz grinned. "You guys have a good day. I'll see you at the hospital later."

"Bye."

As he shut the door Jason spied the Oswald hidden up on a shelf behind a picture of their family. He chuckled to himself. "Thank you," he whispered with his eyes lifting up. It had been neither easy nor smooth to return to his family or to one day realize he was building a life with Brenda, while they were both in other relationships. Every fight, every time something was smashed, someone stormed out, there was something beyond that. There was something to return to, something to fight for. A family he had forsaken, a family he thought was lost to him. Then as Gabriella came into the world, he saw the child he lost, the child returned to him. The child that had taught him to be a father, proved to him he could be a father, the reason he fought for Jake.

He heard a crash in the kitchen, then Brenda screaming his name. His eyes dropped back down to the shelf, "Best Christmas Ever," he whispered. So perfect he couldn't have even dreamed it.

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_Thanks for reading!_


	46. Eyes

**AN: I have totally done enough work on the other fics that I can post the start of this short story. Obviously I started this when Jason "died," but it's been lingering in my thoughts lately. **

Imagine if you will a long white hallway. On one side utter peace. On the other side everything you've left behind. A never ending hallway that all pass through. Jason Quartermaine has trapped himself in such a place. Unable to turn away from the life that had once been his.

**Eyes**

There had been times over the years when he had been quiet.

There had been times over the years when he had raged.

He had begged.

Bargained.

Cried.

People told him to walk away.

Loved ones, strangers. They all tried to convince him to let it go.

He couldn't change it, so why keep watching.

Why keep watching his once orderly life being smashed to bits.

Watch his loved ones be hurt by the person they thought was him.

Watch and be scared that there was some part of him in that person because maybe sometimes he saw it too, the glimmer of himself in the stranger. More than just his skills…a rare smile, a laugh or a look.

It was almost as if he was there, as if he had fallen back into his body.

Only he hadn't.

The scene was only before him as the other's eyes were open. He saw what he saw. Only saw himself/him when his eyes caught his reflection in something.

He had Heaven on one side and Earth on the other.

He watched people enter the thin strip he resided in and cross over.

He also watched people slip back to Earth, gone as quickly as they arrived.

AJ had lasted longer.

For a few brief moments…

-x-

Jason had been too caught up in the world in front of him to notice the world beside him. The vastness that stretched forever, he didn't see the lives of those who entered next to him, the window for their eyes only. There were a few that would turn back and catch their final minutes as their body lingered longer than their soul. There were others like him whose bodies continued on without their souls attached. A few exactly like him, but many more hooked up to machines. Some watched or listened, some moved on.

Jason talked to a lot early on as he tried to figure out what had happened, as he tried to figure out a way back. Tried to figure out how those who returned slid back into the window before them.

He watched it in those close to him; it was always so fast, like a flash.

A smile or a confused look and then they were gone.

Brenda always smiled.

She had smiled at him way too often and he felt horrible for wishing every time that she would have just stayed.

He hadn't noticed AJ's arrival, he often berated himself for that, for not having those extra seconds.

_"Jason," the stunned whisper echoed down the long hall. _

_There were many Jason had smiled for, but not this one. He felt his body about to collapse, the sensation as strong as if he had been on Earth watching him die. AJ was too young, there was too much for him to do, so much he still had to feel and learn. Jason's mouth opened, the words emerged without a conscious thought, "I love you." He had wondered often if he had said those words enough, if he had remembered to tell everyone how much he cared. It killed him for years to watch the pain, defeat, guilt and anger every time he saw his brother's face, being unable to stop it. _

_He hated that other man, whose eyes he saw out of, he hated him especially for AJ. He saw a lot of despicable acts, but those were to strangers. How that other man treated his brother, what he allowed to happen…He despised him. _

_In that moment though, AJ saw him, fully and finally. Not a glimpse that only brought more pain. No in that moment when AJ finally saw him he smiled and Jason couldn't help, but smile back. He smiled even brighter as his brother slid back into the world he left. _

_He never saw him in his window again. He hoped he wouldn't lay eyes on him for many years. _

-x-

Time passed. Slowly, but surely as time always is.

People joined him. Some stayed for awhile. Eventually though they all realized he would only leave when he was ready and they said their goodbyes.

His father stayed the longest. His father heard every word the other man had said and had tears streaming down his face by the time he was done. It had taken all of Jason's willpower to not rage against the other man in their father's presence. His father gave a knowing smirk when he found out AJ hadn't died, convinced it was Monica's doing. They had no idea what state AJ was in, but just knowing that he wasn't with them was enough.

There had been the little towheaded boy that had started to run to him, then paused and said, 'You aren't Jason.'

'Not your Jason.'

'K.' Jake ran right out of the hallway and into what was waiting.

He had been the shortest.

-o-o-o-

It had been an odd way to spend two decades. At least for the first two years he had hope he would find a way back. Then with every operation there came the hope that they would fix whatever had shoved him out of his body. Mostly though he spent his time hoping the other man wouldn't kill anyone else and hoping that other man would die and this could finally end.

The things he had seen, no matter how justified Sonny sold them as, they never were. The type of life that other man led, the type of life where he was in a situation where someone had to die in order for the other to live… Jason hated that man. All the good he did, could never erase all the bad Jason witnessed.

Jason was smiling as water was before his eyes. Not really believing the other man would die, maybe Jason would get a glimpse, maybe he'd even get a chance to curse him out if he stayed dead long enough. As the water grew darker, Jason almost started to feel relief, something he hadn't felt in quite some time.

Then as the other man appeared before him, stunned and pressing a hand to a wound that was no longer present as their eyes connected, Jason felt a peace he hadn't known was possible.

"What…" The other man was confused as they often were. He turned though to follow the other man's gaze. The darkness of the window. "What is that?"

As the other man took a step towards the window, a hand out ready to touch, did Jason react. Closed lids, a trace of water…It wasn't over. There was still life in that body.

Jason reached the window first, "No more," was all he said to the other man as Jason slid back into the life he had left.

* * *

Thanks for reading and yes old stories will get their turn soon enough for those who keep asking.


	47. Eyes Part 2

Notes to folks:

breysafan: Aww thanks!

lynn1974: I love all things Jason Q (Um you've probably figured that out by now :-P).

Rachael: Thank you, I hope you like the final part!

* * *

**Eyes Part 2**

He fought on instinct. He fought to breathe. To break through the water. To pull himself to shore.

He lay there for moments, long agonizing moments. Waiting for someone to find him. Afraid he would die before they did, worse that they would be able to save him and give the other one a chance to return.

He had to get away from the public, so that when they found his body it would be too late.

He recalled a safe house. The other man had set a few up in various times of crisis and after. They were rarely used, sometimes they were just a place to plan out the next strike or clean up after it.

It turned his stomach, but he was desperate. Jason didn't share the information with anyone, so it would be safe to use. If there was a paper trail that would lead to it, it would take days, if not longer.

He made his way slowly, at several points convinced it would be his end. Only eventually the house came into sight.

He fell into the dirt surrounding the house as he tried to grab the key out of its hiding place under the front porch. He debated laying there waiting to die. Wondering if the shrubbery blocked him from view.

Then it started to occur to him it might be slightly nicer to die with a pillow under his head and a blanket to stop the chills.

He remembered a phone.

Several burner phones.

He smiled before grimacing as he pushed himself up.

-o-o-o-

She smiled at him.

She had called out his name, rushed into the room and then smiled as she saw him. Lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket.

The peace came back to him. He briefly wondered if that meant he was about to die, only then he realized there was no way Brenda would let that happen.

"I've missed you." He wasn't sure what he had said on the phone to her. Something along the lines of he needed her and telling her to tell no one he had called. Logically it hadn't been his wisest move, he had things to say, things his corpse wouldn't be able to say. He had lasted, he had lasted this long. "He was pretty sure it was because he had wanted to see that, her smile yet again.

Brenda's smile changed, a little bittersweet, a little heartbroken, entirely lovely.

"I was waiting for you."

"I came as fast as I could."

"I was waiting for you," he repeated the words, finally understanding what they meant.

Her smile was confused. There was another flash of pain in her eyes.

"Brenda-"

"Jason?" There was a flash of it as she said his name, a flash of that smile. That smile. The one he had been waiting years for and ached without it. It was followed by a heartbreaking expression.

"Brenda," Jason smiled.

She let out a ragged breath before running to him. Kneeling beside him, a hand on the side of his face, it was if she was lit from within, how she glowed. "How?"

"You took too long."

Her head shook.

"I couldn't move on without you," he let out a weak disbelieving laugh, amazed he hadn't figure that out until now.

"You weren't supposed to move anywhere, you weren't supposed to go anywhere," her fingers tugged at the back of his head.

"Duly noted."

Her breath stopped as he flinched. Her fingers flexed slightly as they lifted off of him feeling the warm wetness that lingered on him. "How bad?" It was all she could ask. There had been a voicemail from Alice, not her ex-husband, but Alice telling her that Jason was missing and that it wasn't looking well. A voicemail twelve hours after she had gotten the call from Jason telling her to come, to not tell anyone, to go to him. She hadn't thought, she had reacted. She had left her son with the sweet older woman that had been living with them as a nanny for months. She had called a friend with a jet because she knew the trail wouldn't immediately lead back to her.

"Hurts like hell," he gave a small smile.

"Jase-"

"No exit wound, but it didn't hit anything major. He drowned," Jason frowned realizing that. The bullet had definitely done its damage, but despite the fact that it felt as if he was dying, he hadn't actually died.

"He?"

"Morgan."

"Your breath," Brenda overlooked all the things she wanted to say.

He noticed it now, the shallowness. He had been sleeping, sleeping for what felt like ages, barely slipping out of it until she arrived. "He drowned. There's water in my lungs."

"Okay," Brenda nodded trying to take a calming breath, "so we'll call an ambulance and whatever is going on with any criminal activity. We'll deal with it later. We need to keep you alive."

"No," Jason grabbed her hand as she went to stand, "no hospitals. No one can know I'm still alive."

"Not going to be a problem if you die."

"There's a kit. The cupboard in the bathroom, under the sink, there's a fake wall."

"And a doctor lives in there?"

"Oxygen."

"Jason, you can't-"

"I am telling you I'd rather die than go back."

"Oxygen," Brenda nodded and stood.

-x-

"If I die," Jason told her pulling the mask off his face, "you have to let me go. This has to be over. Don't do anything."

"I can't promise that," she smiled through her heartbreak, "so don't die. Don't leave again."

-x-

He wasn't aware of the lapse in time because she was still before him every time he opened his eyes.

Suddenly though there was a stranger with his hands on the wound that marred his flesh.

"Don't fight him," Brenda ordered. "He came up from New York. The only time people find out what he's done is when they confess when they're high or drunk."

"Don't bring me back, no matter what she says," was all he said before he let the darkness claim him again.

-x-

He awoke as they were trying to move him as the doctor had replenished his fluids enough to risk going after the bullet. He aided their efforts to get him to the dining table, which they had moved into the room, then all mercifully went black again.

-x-

He awoke to her hand in his hair, "Still alive," she smiled at him.

He removed his mask, amazed at his own strength just as the doctor had been as they changed positions. "I fought for years, a day is nothing."

"Did you really?" Her smile was weaker this time.

"You don't remember," his fingers reached out for her face, she caught them and held them pressed into her cheek.

"I saw you sometimes, hidden deep within him. Beyond what was on his face, trapped in his eyes. I would see you and I would try to reach you, but-"

"I heard, I saw everything."

"But it wasn't enough."

"It was always enough, you were always enough. I just couldn't. You wouldn't stay and I couldn't go-"

"Stay where?" Brenda questioned, but it was too late, he was asleep again.

-x-

The low grade fever that had been present when Brenda arrived eventually erupted as Jason's body reacted to all the elements and stress it had been exposed to.

They got him off the table and into the wheelchair the doctor had brought. They settled him into the bedroom on the main floor. Brenda sat beside him as hours turned into days. Never daring to join him on the bed and add anymore warmth to his already overheated body. She slept in the chair, but she always managed to be beside him with a smile when he roused from consciousness.

When she was finally in a deep sleep he awoke. The object he had spied several times earlier finally called to him with enough strength that he was able to climb out of the bed. He collapsed on the dresser when he finally made it the few feet, to the mirror, the object he needed. "Let go," he said looking into his own eyes. "Jake, everyone, they're waiting for you. It's my turn. Let me have this. Let me have her. Let her have this."

"Jason," Brenda was on her feet before she was even awake, her arm around his waist. "What are you doing?" Her eyes joined his in the mirror.

"Saying goodbye."

-x-X-x-

Two weeks passed before Jason was well enough to travel. She drove them to a safe house he had set up in Kentucky. He had documents for them all. Morgan had updated the stash of false identities during the Balkan fiasco. While Brenda flew back to Rome, she never flew back to the states. Vivian and Alex Gray flew to Alabama from Greece three weeks later to meet Kyle Gray, husband and father, who had already started setting up a new life for them.

She had said her tearful goodbye to Edward over the phone; she told him she didn't believe the rumors of Jason's death. She told him she was sure Jason loved him and that one day she would tell him that he had been loved as well. She told him not to be scared that she knew Lila was waiting for him and that they would all one day see each other again and not to worry about them. They would all be fine.

It hadn't been hard for people to believe she would pack up after that. She told everyone after she returned that she wanted to start fresh. She wanted to erase the lives that they'd led that allowed things like Jason's death to happen. She wanted more for her son.

Vivian departed Greece a caramel blonde, who wore glasses and no makeup. When she arrived in Birmingham, her husband already had her suitcases in the trunk filled with clothing from the Gap and Old Navy.

Kyle Gray did not resemble the mobster Jason Morgan from Port Charles. He dropped 15 pounds the first two weeks because of his illness and the first week on his own he cut out meat, upped his veggies and started going on long walks to regain his strength. By the second week he managed to run for short intervals, the third week he ran 14 miles.

Vivian cursed him out for losing nearly thirty pounds in five weeks.

He didn't look like a man who had recently been shot and assumed dead. His skin held a slight glow from being outside, his hair a preppy blonde cut. The blonde courtesy of Sun-In. He wore jeans and polos.

Everyone in the small town liked them from the start. He'd been in finance and they had lived and traveled all around Europe and would describe the majestic feats they saw or he saw. Brenda ranked things based on the food and people and he describes the sights. They brought something new to the small town.

They had been separated for a few years, since Alex was quite young. His job had gotten to be too much and she had just wanted to be settled. It took him a few years to agree because after all she had agreed to the life before they were married. That earned them both sympathy and disdain, but made them relatable.

Mike, Kyle's best friend figured it out and Claudine, the fashion obsessed teenager, and they were both able to talk them out of exposing the truth.

Mike was relieved that Kyle wasn't hiding his true nature and Claudine thought the whole thing was exciting.

-x-X-x-

"Are you happy?" Jason asked as Brenda was sitting on the grass in their backyard, legs extended, arms stretched behind her allowing her to recline, Jason's head resting on her thighs, just visible beyond the bump of their growing child.

"I could use a foot rub if you're offering."

"I mean with this," Jason pushed himself up, "being a stay at home mom. Carpooling to camp. Bowling league. You were the face of-"

"I'm a wife, I'm a mother," she touched one of his cheek's with one hand as the other went to her stomach. "Do you see him?" Brenda looked several feet in front of them to their son, continuing to run through the sprinkler even though Jason had stopped several minutes earlier. "He's a perfectly average kid."

"Average though Brenda, there was nothing about you-"

"I'm not scared of dying. You came back to me-"

"I was trapped-"

"You were somewhere Jason." The mutterings he had spoken as the fever raged had disappeared as it broke. He recalled nothing of where he had been aside from feeling trapped, he recalled everything, but he knew the actions weren't his own. "I know that this isn't it. I could do anything. I can fly, jump out of a plane, climb a mountain. This is what I want. I could die and I wouldn't have any regrets."

"But-"

"I want to have this little girl and be class mom. I don't care where we do it. I just want us to be together. Do you want to go back? To your mom and AJ?"

His head shook, "I'm not ready."

"When you are, we'll face it as a family."

-x-X-x-

AJ was racing to make his flight when he stopped in the crowded terminal. Ducking his head around, shoving past a few people despite the fact that he knew it would all be in his head. He was there though, at least a dozen feet away. A red baby carrier on his chest and a baby facing outward taking in the world as Jason pushed the luggage cart with a car seat about to tumble off.

Jason turned as AJ was frozen; his expression confused, then concerned, then a smile as he noticed his brother smiling.

"Kyle, stop being a slacker, we're hungry."

AJ knew that voice and he followed Jason's eyes to see the back of Brenda. A toddler girl with springy brown curls on her hip, the boy next to her only shorter by several inches.

His eyes turned back to Jason, who also had turned back. Jason smiled, a laughing smile.

AJ smiled back.

"DAD!" The boy yelled.

Jason chuckled, shrugged his shoulders and nodded at his brother.

AJ nodded back and let his brother walk away. 

* * *

The end. I hope you guys enjoyed this little fic. Thanks for reading. 


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